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The Second Nine Months: One Woman Tells the Real Truth about Becoming a Mom. Finally.

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3.68  ·  Rating Details ·  383 Ratings  ·  91 Reviews
I want to walk out of Target and leave Blair there, wailing.... Nice people work at Target. Surely someone would take her home and care for her and buy her pretty things. So begins Vicki Glembocki’s brutally honest yet hilarious memoir of her agonizing transition into motherhood. Why agonizing? Because no one told her how tough it would be. Finally, Glembocki lays out the ...more
Hardcover, 272 pages
Published January 7th 2008 by Da Capo Press (first published December 10th 2007)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Ciara
i don't really know what the hell to think about this book. i have thought for a long time that i got lucky because ramona is just a really easy baby. why, she's napping right now, enabling me to take the time to write this review! other people, including my partner, insist that ramona is easy because we are doing something right as parents. i didn't want to think that, because it felt like hubris, & because the obvious implication is that someone who is struggling is doing it to themselves. ...more
Laura
Aug 29, 2008 Laura rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: future parents, or new parents who are feeling alone in their frustrations
Recommended to Laura by: Neligh
Shelves: baby-stuff
I am so glad I read this book BEFORE having these feelings myself, because I am positive this is how I will feel about parenting. The author, Vicki Glembocki, feels like she is a fraud and a horrible parent because none of this comes naturally to her, but tries to hide all of that from everyone. Which makes her miserable, because everyone is trying to hide that they're frauds, so the result is that everyone feels even more like a failure and more alone in their situation. Since this is how I fee ...more
Kristl
Mar 10, 2008 Kristl rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: anyone thinking of making babies
Shelves: mommy-books
As the author puts it, I'm thinking about having a baby, maybe, this century, so I thought I might want to read this.

I often hear mothers never tell you the full truth about the horror that is childbirth and that is because they conveniently forget once they move on to the glory that is motherhood. The author of The Second Nine Months wants you to know they forget the horror that is childbirth because the horror that is the first stages of motherhood is much, much, much, much worse.

I made mysel
...more
Mary Louise
May 08, 2008 Mary Louise rated it it was amazing
Shelves: memoir
The Second Nine Months is brutally honest, entertaining, and timely. I couldn’t stop turning pages, reading it in two sittings. While I agree with many of the other reviews of this book, I would add that while certainly Vicki Glembocki has a strong, authentic narrative voice, she has also written a well-crafted memoir. Only a gifted writer can sustain the necessary tension to pull off an extended narrative such as this. The first 50 pages are simply hysterical! The pacing of the book in general- ...more
Sonya Feher
Jul 29, 2008 Sonya Feher rated it liked it
Recommends it for: mainstream parents
Shelves: memoir, parenting
Vicki Glembocki is a mainstream parent. If your views and concerns run that way, this would be a great book to read. It's fast-paced, honest, and funny. However, Glembocki's truth is not my truth. Many of her parenting experiences just don't reflect how I felt at all. For much of the first year, Glembocki doesn't feel connected/attached to her daughter. While I relate to the loss of self that comes with parenthood and the patience parenting requires, her playgroup and parenting friendships, her ...more
Aimee
Jul 31, 2008 Aimee rated it it was amazing
Shelves: nonfiction
I loved this book. I feel like I could have written it myself. Not every parent falls in love with their child immediately. I think especially for those of us with careers that we love. Having your first child in your 30s is much different than having a child in your teens or 20s--you have had a lot of time to "become who you are". Having a baby after you feel this way really rattles you.
I am happy for those of you who experiences the immediate bliss of motherhood. Just please realize it doesn'
...more
Ashley
Mar 16, 2008 Ashley rated it it was amazing
The author's strong, relatable voice will carry you through this memoir in one or two sittings. A brutally honest and realistically endearing portrayal about being a new mom. Many of the scenes are memorable because of their mix of rawness, emotion, awkwardness and humor. A great read for mothers, thinking-about-being mothers and men who should know what their wives are going through!
Becky
Jul 22, 2008 Becky rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: anyone who is living in the first or second nine months for the first time (or the sixteenth time)
First of all, make sure you get this book (by Vicki Glembocki) & not another book also entitled the Second Nine Months (because that one is an older & boring "how-to" book)
I loved this book! Maybe because it's just the right time in my life to read this (I'm going through the second nine months with my son at the moment). Vicki has such a great style of writing & is so honest that I want to move to New Jersey just to be her friend and have her advice. This is NOT a how to book - whic
...more
Susan Bazzett-griffith
Once I started this book, I barely put it down. Probably the best, most realistic parenting memoir I've read since Jennifer Graf Groneberg's Road Map to Holland, and by far the best I've read about a mom to a neurotypical baby, I give Ms. Glembocki serious credit for her honesty about how difficult being a new mother in your 30s can be. I laughed and cried a few times each while devouring this book, remembering my own sleepless nights, waking up panicked, sure my baby wasn't breathing and wonder ...more
Shilo Quetchenbach
Jan 20, 2014 Shilo Quetchenbach rated it it was ok
This book was really hard to read, and I couldn't sympathize with or like the author at all. It's basically the story of how much she hated her child for the first 6 months of her life. In agonizing detail of how miserable she was, how she wished she could run back to her magazine editor job, be whistled at by construction workers, have 10 minutes to check her email on her days off without her annoying and boring daughter demanding her attention. How she couldn't connect with any of the other mo ...more
Cristen
Mar 23, 2012 Cristen rated it it was amazing
I love this book! It saved my sanity on more than one occasion. It's startlingly truthful and laugh-out-loud funny. If I ever meet Vicki, I'm going to hug her. Not everyone gets a perfect, sweet little baby. Sometimes you get a baby that doesn't want to eat or sleep or be out of your arms for one single second (no matter how bad you have to pee). Sometimes your baby is so bad, it takes months to bond with him/her - a fact that can crumble the strongest willed woman. That woman was me. Surrounded ...more
Anna
I am so glad this book exists. While I didn't always agree/connect with all of her feelings, it was so comforting to be able to read this, especially when I first became a mom. I, too, struggled with how to be a good mom and how to enjoy my kid. It felt really good to read an honest, open account of how everything isn't always so peachy.

When reading a book like this it's really hard not to judge the writer. But I really tried not to and I really just have to thank her for telling her story. Mot
...more
Jennifer
Jan 07, 2009 Jennifer rated it it was amazing
Vicki -- I stand up an applaud you! You have written every single feeling that I have been having since Day 1.

I am the mom of a 4 yr. old and a 5 month old. My first daughter was hard -- she was my first, but I pretty much had to raise her alone since my husband was deployed from the time she was 8 months old until a month before her 2nd birthday.

I started your book a few days after coming home from having my 2nd daughter. I laughed, I cried, and many times I nodded my head in agreement.

Bravo f
...more
Cassie
Jan 12, 2009 Cassie rated it it was amazing
Recommends it for: new mothers, expectant mothers
This memoir made me laugh, and it made me cry, and it made me feel that, retroactively, I really wasn't alone during those first couple of months of parenthood, which were so, so much harder than I expected them to be. Kudos to Vicki Glembocki for telling the (often harsh) truth about early motherhood! I related to many of the experiences she shares in this memoir; I think lots of new moms would be able to relate to them.
Rachel
Jun 09, 2010 Rachel rated it liked it
I had a hard time relating to the author given that both my daughters were pretty low key babies. I understood her feelings of lossing ones self, the sleep deprivation, etc. but I felt connected to my girls within the first few days of having them so I had a hard time relating with her months long struggle with this. The later months were easier for me to relate to. Overall it was well written and a quick read.
Nicolette
Dec 26, 2015 Nicolette rated it really liked it
It was very nice to hear someone telling the truth (or at least her version of the truth) about motherhood. No sugar coating. Just the facts. Worth the read, especially for someone who is pregnant and still quite unsure how this is all going to play out.
Lynn
Jun 14, 2008 Lynn rated it it was amazing
This is a funny memoir. It is great for new mothers. Its very real and honest. Also quick read, if you have small children at home. It definitely helps me keep a sense of humour about becoming a mom and all the unexpected things that came with it.
Elizabeth Thorpe
Feb 19, 2010 Elizabeth Thorpe rated it it was ok
Shelves: memoir
This reads like a beach book, but it's a horror story. I am glad it exists -- I think there should be more of these first-person accounts of parenting, and everyone considering having kids should read them (not that I am one of those people). But it's really hard to root for this woman.
Rebecca
Feb 22, 2008 Rebecca rated it really liked it
A very realistic portrayal of life with your firstborn!
Alice
Nov 30, 2015 Alice rated it liked it
Shelves: parenting, motherhood
This book is fabulously comforting and validating for anyone who has had a fussy/high needs baby, but potentially uninteresting or unrelatable for absolutely everybody else.

Having had a 'difficult' baby myself, I can frankly agree that yes: the first six months of parenting sucks! I found little of it enjoyable at all, having essentially spent this time either breastfeeding or on my feet, soothing a crying baby that appeared to hate being alive. I can assure some of the other reviewers on here
...more
Annie Murphy
Jan 03, 2015 Annie Murphy rated it it was ok
Shelves: parenting
I read this when my first and only child was 4 months old. It was a quick read, and since I my husband was still at work and I was on maternity leave - every single time she was ungrateful for something her husband did that I would be ever so relieved my husband would even think about - ALL I COULD FEEL WAS RESENTFUL. Resentful at my husband, resentful at the author, and completely anxious and worried that my first and my only child (who we planned would be an only child) would grow up to be eve ...more
Stephanie
Jun 18, 2016 Stephanie rated it really liked it
"It's really hard. Just so you know. The beginning was harder than anyone ever told me it would be. If you feel lost or frustrated or guilty or anything, know that you're not the only one." - p.246

Good memoir about becoming a mother for the first time. Vicki tells it like it is, and though she could be harsh at times, I know that many new mothers (myself included) have felt the same way she did. I always assumed that once I had my baby, a natural maternal instinct would kick in and I would know
...more
Gayle
Sep 09, 2016 Gayle rated it liked it
Having just had a baby 3 months ago, I enjoyed Vicki's story. We do get so much mommyhood propaganda about how wonderful everything is going to be, that it's hard to deal with the reality of the negative emotions that come with it, particularly the feeling that you're doing something wrong, that your baby doesn't like you, that you want your old life back and dealing with the crying and lack of sleep. I particularly liked the part at the end where she got really angry about one of those
"your ba
...more
Maiga Milbourne
Aug 04, 2011 Maiga Milbourne rated it really liked it
Vicki is hilarious. It's odd reading a really personal memoir written by a friend-- but also that much more valuable. This is such an incredible resource for all women, whether they are mothers or not. Vicki honestly shares about the challenges of motherhood, and how important it is to be able to talk about this struggle without worrying someone will call Child Services! I had just finished reading the book when I went to teach a yoga class last night. A first-time mother of a 5 month old came t ...more
Cosette
Feb 14, 2011 Cosette rated it really liked it
I actually enjoyed this book. Since moving to pennsylvania, I've been meeting this odd mother type that I couldn't figure out - 3-4 kids & working full-time. Who would do that to themselves? Vicki explains it to me - & of course, the mention of local things make it humorous - the wawa, the convention center, the train, the traffic. Her need to work outside the home is not something I relate to, but then she's having her first kid at 33 - here I am with my 3rd at 34.
I love that she "chan
...more
Erin Richwine
Oct 16, 2012 Erin Richwine rated it really liked it
I thoroughly enjoyed this book! It was a very realistic view of how motherhood is in comparison to what one might expect or read about in parenting books. I was warned ahead of time (before my son was born) how difficult the first few weeks/months were going to be, and the author's comedic take on this time was both hilarious to read as well as very relatable. I found myself, more than once, saying to myself, "Yep! That's exactly how I felt or what I went through!" Although I never got to the po ...more
Kristy
Apr 27, 2009 Kristy rated it really liked it
4/22/09
So per the author request. I am going to read this book past page 4.


4/19/09
So I started reading this book because it was our book club pick of the month (This is a mom's club book club). So I started to read it, I got to page 4 and I thought to myself I cannot read this book. I just lived this within the past 2 years and I am still living it. Why do I want to take the free time I have away from Erika to read about what this woman is doing with her baby - LOL No Way!!!

But hey this is just
...more
Gail
Jul 27, 2011 Gail rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Anyone wanting a reason to stay on birth control, or new moms who are frustrated
Quick read - finished it in two days. I like her writing style, it was very captivating. Also, if you don't have kids/are considering having kids this book is likely to freak you out a bit. I don't have my own yet, but I have worked with kids for 10 years. What she said has not surprised me knowing how hard kids can be at times. And I agree that a lot of the images of motherhood thrown at women are full of it. I also worked in child welfare for a while, so not even her confessions of resisting t ...more
Katherine
Oct 04, 2008 Katherine rated it liked it
I feel funny assigning stars to someone's memoir for some reason...I thought this book was very funny and moving. I could relate to much of what the writer went through with a newborn. I especially loved in the beginning of the book where she talked about her feelings the first day she was alone w/the baby when the grandparents were gone & her husband was back at work. I also appreciated hearing about someone else's struggles with breastfeeding, instead of feeling like I'm one of the few who ...more
Miranda
Jun 10, 2011 Miranda rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Very honest, and often hilarious, sometimes could be considered offensive by some. This is validation for every new mom who has struggled, but if you haven't had a baby yet, don't read this, lest it discourage you from having one. It kind of only shows the negative side of having a baby, and I think there are more rewards than she shares with her journey, but I also identified with so many of her feelings ("yes! that's exactly how it is!" which is of course what makes any comedy funny - it's the ...more
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ABOUT THE SECOND NINE MONTHS:
When I came home from the hospital with my first baby, I thought I would be all stoned on maternal bliss. Not. So. Much. I couldn't get her to stop crying, or to sleep, or to nurse. I felt like I was doing everything wrong, like I was the only woman in the known universe who didn't have a maternal gene. I felt terrified that we'd made a horrible mistake having this bab
...more
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