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Je Parler Français

3.95 of 5 stars 3.95  ·  rating details  ·  459,536 ratings  ·  13,131 reviews
كتاب مجموعهاي از مقاله/نوشتههايي (Essays) طنز دربارهي زندگي نويسنده است. نوشتهها به دو بخش تقسيم شدهاند. بخش اول درباره وقايع زندگي او در هنگام نوجواني و جواني در آمريكا است و بخش دوم نوشتههايي كه نويسنده دربارهي تجربه زندگي خود در فرانسه نوشته است. ...more
Published (first published January 1st 2000)
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Rebecca There's a chapter with the same name talking about a French class where everyone struggled with the language.
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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I just don't care for David Sedaris.

There, I've said it. I've made peace with the fact. I have stared deep into the cockles of my heart, and forced myself to come to the only obvious-but-unpopular conclusion.

I just don't care for David Sedaris.

It was somewhat of an existential struggle for me to reach this conclusion because I'm exactly the kind of person who should like David Sedaris.

I am a sarcastic Generation Xer with an overdeveloped sense of irony. I enjoy reading personal essays about poi
Witty, wry, bitter, delightful.

My mom gave me the book. I was living in France at the time, so she thought David Sedaris and I would have a ton in common. She went to a Sedaris booksigning to get a personalized message to her gay son in France. After he was done reading, she jumped up to get him to write a note to me, "David! My son is gay! He's living in France right now, please sign this copy for him!" He had already started an orderly signing process, going down the rows. He looked at her dis

That about sums it up.

Because, what's the point to these anecdotes? Are you trying to tell me something Mr. Sedaris? I think not. You think you're funny? Meh, not that funny. Special? You're not that special either. You're a writer, just another writer. What's the big deal?

As I said, I don't care much for your little stories. Seriously, my dear, I don't give a damn.
I've been thinking a lot about this, and I have come to the conclusion that David Sedaris is one of the worst human beings in history, i.e., since human beings were first invented by an incompetent, Jerry Lewis-like god or by the inscrutable permutations of natural phenomena. This isn't a moral judgment. It's more like when someone tells you that you have spinach stuck in your teeth. It's both the mere reportage of a fact and a public service. Because, after all, you wouldn't want to walk around ...more
If I were in someone else's bathroom and there were no other reading materials except for something by David Sedaris, I would pick it up and flip through it. I probably would even find myself slightly amused. But my basic opinion about David Sedaris - which is that he is boring, not very funny, mean and bitchy, and too lazy to write a novel - would remain unchanged.

Remember when people who had fucked up or interesting lives drew on their personal experiences to create artful, often symbolic sto
This book has been my tube companion for the past fortnight. It is the perfect accompaniment to the London commute for two reasons:

1) The essays are perfectly formed, so you can be assured that you'll be able to finish 3 little chunks over 40 minutes or so. Once the train trundled into Westminster station I would know to quicken my pace so as to finish another section before alighting at Blackfriars and elbowing some bankers.

2) My tube line is the epitome of the British stiff upper lip. People's
Jul 23, 2008 Bob rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Bob by: Dion Garrett
Shelves: stopped-reading
Yes. I realize this book is supposed to be hilarious. Yes. I realize I'm not a hip gen-x'er if I don't happen to think it is. Yet...

I feel like Sedaris accurately summed up his entire approach to writing on page 44: "True art was based upon despair, and the important thing was to make yourself and those around you as miserable as possible." He meant this as satire, I'm sure...but what I found truly halarious was that he didn't even realize that he just described the book I was currently reading.
So I know this is totally cheating, but I never actually read this book, I listened to it on CD. And I am against the whole book-on-tape idea to begin with, but I needed something easy to listen to on my commute home a few months ago when I was still living all the way in NJ with my parents, and a lot of people whose sense of humor I appreciate told me David Sedaris was hysterical. Actually, I didn't even listen to the whole book, it was so bad I think I only made it past 4 stories. So here is m ...more
Feb 20, 2015 FeReSHte rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: اونایی که دلشون خنده میخواد
طنز جالبی که بی مزه نباشه ژانریه که تو محصولات فرهنگی داخلی کمتر بهش برخورد کردم و کمبودش رو همیشه حس میکنم و به ناچار برای تجربه ش سراغ سریالها و فیلم ها و کتابهای عمدتا امریکایی رفتم..ژانری که بخش زیادیش با مسائل فرهنگی همون جا آمیخته شده

شاید برای من قسمت زیادی از لذت کتاب،ناشی از خوندن متن اصلی بود ولی باز هم میخوام اینجا از آقای خاکسار بابت ترجمه ی کارهای سداریس تشکر کنم.فکر میکنم به قسمت عظیمی از اهدافشون که اشنا کردن مخاطب ایرانی با نویسندگان کمتر شناخته شده ولی خوب بود،رسیدند
متن اصلی شامل
"You could turn up your nose at the president or Coke or even God, but there were names for boys who didn't like sports."

"Lisa had been born with a lazy leg that had refused to grow at the same rate as it's twin. I liked the idea that a part of one's body might be thought of as lazy--not thoughtless or hostile, just unwilling to extend itself for the betterment of the team."

"She was what we called Tanorexic."

"My father is the type who once recited a bawdy limerick: "A woman I know who's quite bl
Jason Koivu
As the title suggests, much of Me Talk Pretty One Day revolves around speech and speaking:

> Back in school lil' David (I guess he's still kind of little, isn't he) was forced into correcting his sibilant speech by a highly determined therapist. We're led to wonder if she wasn't stamping out boys' lisps through out the North Carolina school with an ulterior motive.
> A move from NY to Paris prompts David to take French lessons in France with hilarious results.

But that's about all there is
Masoomeh Tavakoli
Aug 30, 2013 Masoomeh Tavakoli rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: خیلی ها!
Recommended to Masoomeh by: همشهری داستان
ترجمه ی
Me Talk Pretty One Day
معمولاً طنزهای ترجمه شده آدم را نمی خندانند امّا این یکی استثنا بود!
اوّلین بار همین قصّه ی «من را یک روزی دلبر حرف زدن»!!!اش را خواندم (که با عنوان «زیر آسمان پاریس» توسّط احسان لطفی ترجمه و در همشهری داستان آذر 1389 منتشر شده بود) و چه بسیار خنده شد! بعد گذاشتمش در کیفم و با خودم بردمش خانه ی سمیرا. کِی؟ شب امتحان تعلیم و تربیت اسلامی پیشرفته به استادی روان شاد دکتر محمّدرضا شرفی
چهل سؤال داشتیم و می دانستیم که پنج سؤالِ امتحان به احتمال 99درصد، همه از همین چهل سؤال
Jul 28, 2011 Shovelmonkey1 rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people who talk pretty but think weird
Recommended to Shovelmonkey1 by: people who already know who david sedaris is
Before I picked up this book I knew nothing about David Sedaris. If someone said to me now, "so why should I give a damn about David Sedaris" I probably still wouldn't be able to offer an adequate defence. What does David Sedaris do? Ummmm, I think he writes books about being David Sedaris.

But, to be fair and accurate he writes pretty funny books about being David Sedaris so if you think that comedy trumps vanity then come on in and join the David Sedaris club. On the whole I suspect that David
کتابخانه گوگولی
... هر روز به ما میگویند که داریم در بهترین کشور دنیا زندگی میکنیم؛ همیشه هم به عنوان یک حقیقت غیرقابل انکار بیان میشود ... امریکا بهترین کشور دنیاست. با این باور بزرگ میشوی و وقتی یک روز میفهمی که کشورهای دیگر هم برای خودشان شعار ناسیونالیستی دارند و هیچ کدامشان هم این نیست که «ما دومی هستیم!» وحشت برت میدارد.
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
I've actually expressed my deep, unconditional love for David Sedaris on this site before. With this re-read I realized my love might be a tad unhealthy. You see, last week I was reading this book while a character on a sitcom was reading "When You Are Engulfed In Flames". Rather than being happy that Sedaris was getting quite decent free press, I could only think of the masses of sheer IDIOTS who might venture out to Amazon, purchase something by my true love and then post scathing reviews (wit ...more
Shayantani Das
Very very funny and David reading these stories himself was just the icing of the cake. Lots of lol moments, especially precious memories.

Read again on 22 January, 2012 ,

Recently a goodread friend asked me whether he should read David Sedaris. I said yes, of course, but at the same time, I started rummaging around my place, turning my house upside down looking for my audiobook CD. Reading Margaret Atwood got me in a really gloomy mood recently, but David Sedaris has successfully cheered me up a
I came into this book expecting the voice of a pretentious, self-indulgent white male, and I finished this book smirking along with this funny, pretentious, and self-indulgent white male. I cannot judge David Sedaris as I do not know his true personality, but he portrays a quirky character in these essays. He reflects on concepts such as speech and family, and several of his pieces draw inspiration from his experience as an American living in France. While some of Sedaris's creative nonfiction - ...more

David Sedaris has been on the edge of my consciousness for some time. I’m fairly sure that I’ve heard him interviewed on the radio. Or maybe he turned up in these parts to participate in a writers’ festival. In any event, I hadn’t read anyting written by him before and I read this book not because I sought it out, but because it was given to me as a gift. It was given to me because Sedaris writes about Paris and my friend thought that would interest me. She was right. I enjoyed the anecdotes abo

I read Me Talk Pretty One Day on the recommendation of my roommate, the fabulous WER. She gave me her copy of the book, so with a strong recommendation and a free read, I couldn’t possibly refuse.

Me Talk Pretty One Day is a rough autobiography of writer and humorist David Sedaris. I say a “rough” autobiography because it is not told in chronological order, nor is it a straightforward chronological account of the events of his life. Instead, he presents life as a series of vignettes, some of whi
Farnoosh Farahbakht

وقتی کتاب رو شروع کردم انتظار کلی خنده و قهقه زدن داشتم اما توی بخش اول کتاب با اینکه داستان ها خیلی خوب بود ولی چند تا لبخند بیشتر نصیبم نشد. اما سداریس توی بخش دوم حسابی جبران کرد و داستان ها مخصوصا قسمت های مربوط به یادگیری زبان فرانسه فوق العاده بود.داستان ها مسائل روزمره ای بود که ممکنه برای همه ما اتفاق بیفته، قسمت دوست داشتنی قضیه نگاه طنزی بود که سداریس به این اتفاقات داره و مسئله ای که میتونه یه نفر رو کاملا از کوره به در ببره برای اون میشه یه موضوع برای داستانی پر از خنده و لبخند.در کل
Ayla Harbin
So, maybe not exactly literary fiction as it would technically fall under creative non-fiction. However, I personally think creative non-fiction should be considered a form of literary fiction considering not everything, or even most things, in a creative non-fiction story have to be strictly “real”. Besides, this is one of my all-time favorite books!

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris takes place in two parts: Part One and Part Deux. In part one Sedaris tells stories of his childhood and f
Nov 21, 2008 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: People who love to laugh.
I heart David Sedaris. His stories are sooooo funny! I almost feel like you miss out when you read his book rather than listening to him tell his stories. Especially when he talks about how he wants to sing old radio jingles in the voice of Billy Holiday. You read it and it's funny - but when you hear him - in a voice so like Billy Holiday it's shocking - singing My bologne has a first's o...s...c...a...r. it's just a hoot!

Man is he funny. Like if Garrison Keillor were gay and favored
Feb 20, 2008 Ellabella rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Ellabella by: Stephanie
Shelves: favorites
I must have brought at least three books to Paris with me for the summer, and I read them all within the first week or two. So it was that I found myself to be extremely bored trekking with Stephanie through Paris to all of these different offices to make sure her student visa was in order. And as I waited in the hall, I pulled this book from her bag which she'd been to busy to read yet.

And I couldn't stop laughing. From page one, I was hooked and laughing in a loud, ugly, American way, while al
i get why people think he's funny, but i don't know, i just didn't. i never laughed outloud, and i'm one to cry, smile, gasp, bite my nails, and/or give big appreciative laughs when the author gives me reason (even while sitting in public places and at inappropriate times). i never was given reason. though, i can recoginze why he is enjoyed by so many, mr. sedaris and i don't connect.
Jan 28, 2009 Ian rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people who think all one needs to produce in life is an opinion
This book had a bit going for it, in that I do like monologue type books, such as Nick Hornby's work. The main character of this book, however, is what ruined it for me. Regardless of how real it is, having a main character who seems lazy, boring and overly-judgmental just wasn't interesting enough. And sure, a lot of Hornby narrators are similar, but usually it's told in such a way that you know they're off-base. So much of the narration in this book had a tone of arrogance when I could see no ...more
یعنی پنج خالص! و کتاب کاملا مورد علاقه. یعنی کتاب خیلی خیلی مورد علاقه. دقیقا کتابِ لیلی پسند بود ینی. و نسخه ی آمریکایی شده ی عطر سنبل عطر کاج. یکی از کارایی که یه روزی در آینده میکنم اینه که دست دیوید سداریسو بگیرم و بردارم ببرم پیش فیروزه جزایری و آشنا کنم این دو موجود خوب رو با هم. که مطمئنم از هم خوششون میاد.
کتاب، سبک زندگی آمریکایی با دید طنز بود. و بسیار این بعد اجتماعی داشتنش هم دوست داشتنی بود برام.
پ.ن:باباش جداً عشق منه:))))
پ.ن2: طنز نویسای موردعلاقه و پرستشم شدن سه تا:نجف و یاسر و دیو
Florencia Brino
I've said it a hundred times: I simply love humor. Life is hard enough to be reading only serious and deep classics and not being able to have a good sense of humor at the same time. And... I've said it a million times: not everybody can be funny. It's not that easy. So, when I find a writer that can be entertaining and smart at the same time, I start this weird and awkward fangirling like I'm a teenager at a (boy band name here) concert. AND when I find a writer that can be funny at describing ...more
Sep 27, 2013 Arghavan rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: دوست‌دارانِ «عطر سنبل عطر کاج»؛ افرادی که تا حال‍ا موقعِ کتاب‌خوندن بلندبلند نخندیده‌ند
Recommended to Arghavan by: Masoomeh Tavakoli
«لحن سداریس شبیه آدم هایی است که تلاش خاصّی برای خنداندن آدم ها نمی کنند و بدون این که بخواهند یا دست خودشان باشد، بامزه اند. از آن ها که یک جمله ی خیلی خنده دار را با قیافه ای خیلی جدّی می گویند و بعد وقتی تو داری روی زمین غلت می زنی، پشتشان را به تو می کنند و می روند»
[بخشی از ریویوی خ.توکّلی برای همین کتاب]
بزرگترین چیزی که توی کتاب توجّهم رو جلب کرد، همین بود. این که نویسنده «بامزّهبازی» درنمییاره؛ شوخی نمیکنه؛ نمک نمیریزه. صرفاً همهچیز رو خیلی بامزه تعریف میکنه و باعث میشه آدم بلندبلند بخنده.
Zach Worthington
there's nothing wrong with laughing until you cry
Jun 12, 2014 Negar rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Negar by: Masoomeh Tavakoli
خیلی خندیدم! نمی دونم دیگه چی باید بنویسم جدا از اینکه خیلی خندیدم!
خیلی ممنون آقای سداریس، خیلی خوش گذشت!

در مورد ترجمه، باید بگم که وقتی شناسنامه ی کتاب رو باز کردم و اسم ویراستار زیر اسم مترجم دیدم جدا خوشحال شدم! حقا هم غلط املایی یا حتی ترجمه ای مشخص هم پیدا نکردم توی کتاب که تا حدی عجیب بود :)) (شایدم به من خیلی خوش گذشته بود و دقت نکردم، در هر صورت ) ولی دوتا مشکل بزرگ با کتاب داشتم، اولی این بود که کتاب باید کاملا ترجمه بشه. درسته و درک می کنم بعضی قسمتا نباید ترجمه می شد، و حتا تعجب کردم
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David Sedaris is a Grammy Award-nominated American humorist and radio contributor.

Sedaris came to prominence in 1992 when National Public Radio broadcast his essay "SantaLand Diaries." He published his first collection of essays and short stories, Barrel Fever, in 1994. Each of his four subsequent essay collections, Naked (1997), Holidays on Ice (1997), Me Talk Pretty One Day (2000), Dress Your Fa
More about David Sedaris...
Naked Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim When You Are Engulfed in Flames Holidays on Ice Let's Explore Diabetes with Owls

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“Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.” 1081 likes
“If you aren't cute, you may as well be clever.” 581 likes
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