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Dirty Pirate (Dirty Shorts)

3.88  ·  Rating Details ·  186 Ratings  ·  65 Reviews
This cute and quirky story requires suspension of all belief. It’s a silly little story written based off these prompts:

Story elements: Haunted shower curtain, a pink stuffed parrot, a magic wand, bucket of chicken, a burnt Pop-Tart, and Batman.

Main characters: One loves chicken, it is all he talks about. Other character wears an eyepatch because he thinks he’s a pirate.
ebook, Free Read, 20 pages
Published August 30th 2013 by Kyle Adams
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(showing 1-30)
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Aug 31, 2014 julio rated it did not like it
Recommends it for: people who appreciate magic realism
Recommended to julio by: I don't fucking recall and THEY ARE FUCKING LUCKY I DONT
annoying as fuck.


what a grand thing it must be to live your life as an american, cozily ensconced in the judeo-christian morality construct while simultaneously doing exactly as you please like everyone else.

what poisonous hypocrisy.

how do you go from casually slut-shaming gay dudes—a particularly common sport in mm, where it would be reviled in mf, naturally—to then idly wondering if your new friend has big muscles and fantasizing about licking him from head to toe while you grind what you have
Crispy Salsa, Lol! It's no secret that I loved it, Kyle's stories always brighten up my day. The Ad for a roommate was gold, potential renters should run, for miles because the conditions outlined were hilarious and only a crack-pot would be tempted to apply.:)) Kevin, the nephew dishes out some beauties, obviously he's been hanging around his uncle far too long. Eric and Quin are lovely and sexy, I would kill for a little sequel to see how they get on. The Dirty Short Series is a fast favourite ...more

Well temporarily, mateys! Hold onto ye britches, loves!


Anyone who knows me crazy pirate loving ass, knows I quake for pirates. Ya savvy?

Yawr har har! 'Tis a funny story, this short be! "Dirty Pirate", aye, I laughed a lot!

"I also figured you were lying about being young and hot, but I can see you were serious."

What to expect ye questionin'?

There be the finest of fake parrots, "Crispy Salsa". There be "erect plank" usage, 'tis true, there be erect planks, mateys! Cannons being threatened
4 1/2 Stars for a jolly witty shortie about a pirate and a new sexy roommate

 photo Pirate_Emoticon_by_TankyTank_zpsdd697490.gif  photo Pirate_Emoticon_by_TankyTank_zpsdd697490.gif  photo Pirate_Emoticon_by_TankyTank_zpsdd697490.gif  photo Pirate_Emoticon_by_TankyTank_zpsdd697490.gif  photo Pirate_Emoticon_by_TankyTank_zpsdd697490.gif

A "pirate" with a free room, a dangerous shower curtain, a nagging sister, a superhero nephew, an angry deaf cat and an roommate ad.
‘Single white male pirate, young and extremely good looking, seeks roommate. I'm midly gay.....’

A guy shows up, moving in and the (hard) pirate is now drooling for a finely tuned body (usually in only short sweatpants) - tempting, alluring...

Wow, a super cute story with a great begi
~✡~Dαni(ela) ♥ ♂♂ love & semi-colons~✡~
Fun and quirky!

A "mildly gay" pirate is looking for a roommate who smells nice and can deal with a haunted shower curtain.

There is no real character development, but this is a funny, lightly sexy read.

And it's free on Smashwords!

“Sometimes, I almost think you’re hitting on me,” I said as I sat back down on the sofa next to him . . .

He turned to look at me with a serious expression. “Maybe that’s because I am hitting on you.”

“But that makes no sense because you’re straight.”

“I am?”

5 "Shiver Me Timbers" Stars!! ARRR...That was good!

I am in awe yet again. Kyle Adams is one of a handful of authors that can write short stories...and he does it so well! You never feel like you're missing out. He manages to make me laugh, endear me to the characters, curl my toes, leave me with a sense of satisfaction and the feeling that this is the beginning of their forever. Amazing...and he offers most of his reads up for FREE, this one included!! Thanks Kyle for making me smile!

Edward get
I absolutely love Kyles Dirty stories and In my opinion this is his best yet . Hilarious, uber sexy and I just want to go back and read it all over again, and yep... there were some stiff masts me hearties! Bloody brilliant. Quinton and Eric are hot, I love Cats and chicken, Crispy Salsa is far better than Pretty Polly and the kid Kevin is a blast too. Thanks Kyle you did your Dirty Pirate justice.... And its free again! Awesome.
Sep 06, 2013 Bev rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: All Kyle Adams Fans

Well, what can I say?? You've done it again Kyle. Loved it, but not as much as Dirty Cop or Dirty Boys.. 4 stars and Heave ho me hearties!!

I loved Quinton and Eric, the ad in Craigslist was unbelievably funny, and Kyle, thank you so much for weaving lots of my fave comic book characters into the story...even if they only had a brief my 'kiwi fruit'!!

Cap'n Jack Sparrow photo JackSparrow_zps44fa4df9.jpg Batman photo Batman_zps07b9a2d1.jpg

Green Lantern photo GreenLantern_zps2a6236a4.jpg  photo superman_zps4e98c7da.jpg

Star Wars photo starwars_zps20395ec0.jpeg

Kyle Adams
Aug 31, 2013 Kyle Adams marked it as wrote-it  ·  (Review from the author)
Shelves: free, m-m, short-story, humor, gay, glbt
Thursday, September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day 2013 and its my goal to have this released before then. (ETA goal completed early on 08/30/13)

Free at Smashwords and All Romance Ebooks

This story started based on a discussion of Kim Alan's review of Dirty Cop

Jan 19, 2014 Kelly rated it really liked it
What a cute, funny, sexy little read! I loved the Craigslist ad! Must look into more of Kyle Adams' stories.

Thanks, Rachel, for telling me about this. It was just what I needed! *mwah*
Dec 31, 2013 Heller rated it it was amazing

The Craigslist ad was hilarious. Quinton and Eric were smoking hot together and the epilogue that featured the haunted shower curtain...epic. The random prompts here were very successfully made into a fun, sexy read. Can't go wrong with a freebie! Pick this one up.
Mandy*reads obsessively*
With that blurb, how could I resist? Oh and it's a Kyle Adams I'm on this one right away. :)

Kyle is spoiling me, he writes all these funny, entertaining, don't-read-in-public, snort-my-drink-out-my-nose, creative and free stories.
I'm going to be impossible to live with and all the blame goes to Kyle.

I'm not going to really review this short, because, really, it's one of those ' you have to read it to believe it 'kind of stories.

Quentin is like silly string in person form, y
Rach  *Feisty kitty*
OMG this was the funniest craziest wildest most amazing novella I have read for AGES!!!!
I absolutely adored it! It made my heart gush with happiness, my cheeks ache from smiling sooooo much and my stomach clench from laughing so hard! hahahahahahahaha!

Do you get the point I am making??? This short free read was just AMAZING I LOVED it! Even without the ending!

WOW!! I will definitely read it over and over if ever I feel fed up as that will lift my spirits without a doubt hahahahaha!

So thank
JustJen "Miss Conduct"
Aug 30, 2013 JustJen "Miss Conduct" rated it it was amazing
Shelves: mm, ebook, shorty

Yet another Kyle classic and wonderful addition to the Dirty family. I wasn't real sure about this when it started. The ad kind of threw me but it quickly gets explained and the fun ensues. Seems these guys have the makings of something long-lasting. Maybe we will get to see them again. I loved the ending and the way it showed how things were going for these guys. This was just a fun, enjoyable quick and easy read. I look forward to each one that comes out.
Don Bradshaw
Sep 06, 2013 Don Bradshaw rated it it was amazing
Shelves: gay-romance, comedy, short
I loved this funny, sexy short story. Quinton is a wonderfully oblivious character who missed every come on dropped by his new, hot, sexy roommate Eric. The characters were well developed for a short story but the fun is all in the one liners and the crazy ad for a roommate. Quinton's nephew, Kevin was perfect for screwing with Quinton's brain. Great sex at the HEA end sealed the deal.
Sep 02, 2013 Tina rated it it was amazing
Shelves: short-stories
Hell yes! A drop-dead-holy-shit-that-mother-fucker-is-hot kind of dirty short-story. Just what I needed!

Straight chicken lover meets mildly gay pirate impersonator.

That was pirate-fucking-tastic! :D

Optimist ♰King's Wench♰ & MANTIES Champion
Aug 05, 2014 Optimist ♰King's Wench♰ & MANTIES Champion rated it liked it
Recommended to Optimist ♰King's Wench♰ & MANTIES Champion by: Chris, the Dalek King
Single white male pirate, young and extremely good looking, seeks roommate. I'm mildly gay-if that bothers you, you need not apply.
NOW that's how you advertise for a roommate!
Then things took a hard left into the fuck's wrong with you dude?

Quinton, Bro, work on your gaydar because it suuuuuuuuuuuuucccccckkkkkksssssss.
EVERYONE KNOWS. EVERYONE! EVEN THESE HAMSTER DUDES KNOW!!! And, p.s., they could give you some pointers.
People in space know.
Zombies know.
Meerkats know.
Things with tentacles know,
Aug 30, 2013 Susan65 rated it it was amazing
Yet another brilliantly funny short by Kyle Adams.

Not what I expected at all...and that is a good thing. I dare you to try and read this without laughing out loud at least once.

Epilogue was great, the price is phenominal, but now I want a LONGER story by this author...please?

Aug 31, 2013 Deeze rated it liked it

Maybe my mood was off, but I didn't find this as amusing as the other Kyle Adams I've read.

Still a fun little short, just not as funny as some of his others for me.
Fun, short, sexy read about two boys, Quinton and Eric, who meet apropos of a hilarious roommate-seeking ad.
He turned to look at me with a serious expression. “Maybe that’s because I am hitting on you.”
“But that makes no sense because you’re straight.”
“I am?” He acted surprised.
“According to my journal you arrr. You’re the straight chicken lover, and I’m the mildly gay pirate impersonator. I think I might turn it into a script for a sitcom.”

Highly recommended if you enjoy laugh-out-loud fun
Jul 28, 2014 MishyJo rated it liked it
So, he wasn't really a pirate. But apparently he was sexy.

He pretended to be a pirate with his nephew. And he said he was in his Craigslist add because he really didn't want a roommate.

This was funny. I liked the dynamic between the two MCs MOST of the time. The bit between when Eric moves in and him and Quinton finally hook up didn't really work for me but that was just a short bit in a short book.

I had to read a book with a red cover for the Zodiac Challenge this month. Does reading a 20 page
Dec 21, 2014 Amy rated it it was amazing
Shelves: short-stories
I have been reading M/M for a year now, how am I just now discovering Kyle Adams?? I love his quirky style of writing, i.e., Crispy Salsa the parrot, pirate-tarts, the Craigslist ad. It's like he totally gets my juvenile sense of humor. I love his short stories!!
Trisha Harrington
Another great story from the incredible Kyle Adams. This was really funny, kinda sweet, and just another amazing short.
Oct 19, 2014 NiteReader rated it it was amazing
Recommended to NiteReader by: Karla
Laugh-out-loud funny and squirm-in-my-seat sexy, what more could I ask for?? A fabulous, free, short gem. I will definitely have to read more from this talented author.
Sep 02, 2013 dblue rated it it was amazing
Do not eat, drink or brush your teeth while reading this story. Don't question this, just know you have been warned! This story is short, fun, sexy,has pirates and it's free (I mean really, who could ask for more). The advertisement for a roommate is hysterical. I will definitely be looking for more of books from this author.
Serena Yates
Oct 03, 2013 Serena Yates rated it really liked it
Shelves: gay
This is a hilarious story that made me laugh out loud several times. It's like a spoof of a "typical" gay romance and a really well done one at that. If you want to know what awaits you, all you need to do is read the book information and you'll know what you're in for. I mean, with prompts like a haunted shower curtain, a pink stuffed parrot, not to mention Batman – it's got to be good, right?

Quinton has been pressured to get a roommate by his sister, who is worried he doesn’t socialize enough.
♣ Irish Smurfétté ♣
Crisply written, for the most part. Definitely some good one-liners.

There are a few things that Quinton said that made me go huuhhnnnnhhh??
But I think the word that best describes him is oblivious. He needs his sister to help find a roommate, he needs Eric the cop to tell him outright that he's been hitting on him, he basically needs extra help in living life.

The interactions between Quinton and his nephew Kevin are sweet and honest, if not a little too perfect. Then again, those nine year olds
This author is a fave and I really appreciate his free shorts. I really liked this short. It is up there with my favorites by this author, Dirty Play and Dirty Cop. Couple nerdy guys who are funny and sweet becoming roommates and something a little bit more. Kevin was also adorable.

Would love to have more adventures between these MCs. Great free short.
Oct 12, 2014 Justin rated it really liked it
3.5 staaaarrrz
Another winner by Kyle Adams. These "Dirty" little books of his are perfect for the book angst hangover. Hummm, which one to read next?
Kelly H. (Maybedog)
Kyle, I just love you. Why oh why are you offering these gems for free? This is yet another one of your wonderful "dirty" stories, just as funny and charming as ever. This one was even funnier than usual with the whole craigslist add and the haunted shower curtain. I adore your protagonists and their offbeat sense of humor. I want to be friends with them and hang out sometime.

The only thing I didn't love was that I think the kid acted more like a five or six year old than a nine year old, but t
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Kyle Adams - Q&A : Dirty Pirate 156 21 Sep 11, 2013 01:38AM  
  • El Presidio Rides North
  • One of Those Days
  • #First Impressions #Second Chances
  • Dirty Day (Cole McGinnis, #3.6)
  • A Gay Romance (A Gay Series #1)
  • Glitter
  • Aftermath (Glitterland, #1.5)
  • The Tail of a Dog
  • BTW I Love You
  • Deep in the Count
  • The Three of Us
  • When You Were Pixels (Syntax #0.1)
  • Like the Taste of Summer
  • Brandon's Laughter
  • Of sweaters and heartache
  • You Get Full Credit For Being Alive
  • You and a Billion Blue Tiles
  • The Lord of Twink's Bottom
Kyle Adams started out dabbling with writing gay romance stories for fun. He writes what makes him laugh and hopes anyone who reads his work laughs with him. Kyle had three books nominated in the 2013 M/M Romance Group readers choice awards and two books nominated in 2012 for the same event. His free story, Dirty Cop won Best Short Story in 2013.

Kyle has a hard time picking a favorit
More about Kyle Adams...

Other Books in the Series

Dirty Shorts (1 - 10 of 13 books)
  • Dirty Shorts Volume One
  • Dirty Fighters
  • Dirty Play
  • Dirty Zero (Zero to Hero, #1)
  • Dirty Hero (Zero to Hero, #2)
  • Dirty Drag (Dirty Drag #1)
  • Dirty Drag 2: The Night Drags On
  • Dirty Drag 3: Beyond The Drag
  • A Dirty Drag Collection
  • Dirty Boys

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“I already have my bathroom time scheduled, so you’ll have to work around it. Please note the bathroom is unavailable for the hour before each of my scheduled usage times (I don’t like to feel as if someone has just been in there when I have to go). However, for your convenience, there is also a toilet available with minimal wait time on the first floor lobby if you have an emergency and need immediate use.” 8 likes
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