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Pickup Lines (Don't Read in the Closet Events)

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3.51  ·  Rating Details ·  171 Ratings  ·  40 Reviews
Edmund and Mack have been friends for years. Edmund has been in love with Mack for almost as long. Things finally seem to be shifting between the two until Edmund ruins everything for the sake of petty infighting with his family. Can Edmund prove to Mack that he is more important than all of that or will he loose Mack forever?

This story was written as a part of the M/M Rom
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ebook, 21 pages
Published July 27th 2013 by M/M Romance Group @ goodreads

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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Exina
Why do authors tend to squeeze into so many things into a short story? It easily could have been the plot of a full-length novel.

Two stars but only because of the hot redhead in kilt.


SheReadsALot
3.5 Stars--I usually bypass no sex stories. I like to read a little diddling, no matter how mild.

Because that's the kind of girl I am, I am.

But I was pleasantly surprised with this story. It was cute yet not saccharine times a million. And the corny pickup lines made me roll my eyes happily. Edmund and Mack made this friends to lovers, opposites attract short story work.

Plus, Mack is one hot ginger who can rock a kilt.

Yum.
Ami
3.5 stars

A sweet best friends-to-lovers story. I loved the set-up, that they both came from different background. I loved that Mack was endearing, despite his 'bear' look. There were some cheesy pick-up lines (meant to use as humor) which was perfect since I just read a Merlin/Arthur fanfic with similar rubbish pick-up lines that was as hilarious. Some scenes were moving in fast-forward (like suddenly it was four years later or six weeks later). One of the best things about this short story -- t
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Nina
Can you say "rushed and superficial"? I mean, it's cute, but... eh. KH, I've come to expect much more from you.

The story is very nice and the family dynamics would be interesting to explore, but I just got dragged by the hand through the story in half the time it should have taken, thus not getting the chance to actually understand why the characters were being such asshats. (So help me, Edmund.)

Still, this author is so good at the details. "The End" at, well, the end was replaced by "The Beginn
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Elizabetta
Jul 27, 2013 Elizabetta rated it liked it

3.5 stars

The play on various pick up lines used throughout the story is fun.

It’s a little hard to believe that Edmund would wait 4 years to put the moves on Mack but oh well, to each their own. This was as much about overcoming snobbery and seeing beneath the veneer as it was a love story. Those who like their romances sweet, with no sex will enjoy this one too.
Meep
Jun 27, 2015 Meep rated it liked it
A cute little story of two men from very different backgrounds.

I loved Mack, a big kilt-wearing softie, very likeable. Edmund the narrator, I was less keen on which kept me from loving the book.

There are time jumps, it moves suddenly to four years later and I don't know that that was necessary. In fact considering the humour of the book is constant pick-up lines, it made me wonder why in four whole years when one said 'Are you picking me up?' the other never said 'YES' it would have been a short
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Samantha
Jul 27, 2013 Samantha rated it liked it
Shelves: mm-read
This was another okay read. Certainly not bad and very cute in some areas.

I think my biggest problem, and where I had a disconnect with this, was that I really just didn't like Edmund. He really got on my nerves and while I adored Mack and his outgoing nature and the way he was so confident, even to the point of wearing an awesome kilt to a black-tie affair, I just couldn't get past not liking Edmund.

Certainly worth giving a shot, though.
Pjm12
Jul 27, 2013 Pjm12 rated it really liked it
Cute and funny and sweet. I am giving it an extra star for the library (fine) joke.

Didi
Awww, such a cute best-friends turned to couple story; more so since it's the case of classic high-born fell for his bear of a best friend. I'd be happier to know more of Mack's thoughts which I don't get since it's told from Edmund's perspective; and what the heck happened between Edmund and his parents to make such bad air between them (talk about miss-communication and misunderstanding!). Right at the last few paragraph there seemed to be son/mother re-connection which I wish could be dig in ...more
mw138
Jul 27, 2013 mw138 rated it really liked it
Very sweet friends to lovers story that brought a smile to my face. I liked that the MCs were opposites and came from different worlds, yet developed a great friendship...and eventually deeper feelings.
Lauren
I loved this short story, it was so adorable! I was pretty annoyed with Edmund for a while - poor Mack! But I'm really glad things worked out in the end, and what a wonderful ending too! Or should I say beginning? ;) Great job, Kathleen. What a wonderful free read.
Kinga
Sep 15, 2015 Kinga rated it really liked it
Shelves: boyxboy, romance
Sweet cheesy funny and lovely! ( And ginger man in kilts.)
I loved how it ended with the 'The Beginning', so fitting !
Eli Easton
Aug 12, 2013 Eli Easton rated it liked it
A cute short read. I liked the characters and the pick-up lines. And oh, the kilt! It ended just as it was getting good. ;-)
Jilrene ♥
Jul 27, 2013 Jilrene ♥ rated it it was amazing
Shelves: short-story, mm, free
A short story that covers several years. Loved it!
Sunny
Sweet couple, cute story :)
Lucy
Jul 27, 2013 Lucy rated it really liked it
Short and adorable. I want to see him in he kilt!
Julesmarie
Aug 04, 2013 Julesmarie rated it really liked it
Very, very sweet friends-to-lovers story. I also enjoyed the opposites-attract theme that was happening here, as well.

(view spoiler)
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Maria
Dec 22, 2015 Maria rated it liked it
3.5 cute and sexy stars


Cute little story about friends becoming lovers despite some stupid mistakes. A nice "oppposites-attract"-theme going on there, too. All around sweet and easy, with a little bit of hurt and angst on the side. But, hello! Yummy guy with a big heart - in a KILT. What's not to like about it?

I was pleasently surprised by this story, especially because I despise corny pick-up lines, but with Edmund and Mack I was laughing a lot, in stead of getting annoyed. They just made it
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Katy Beth Mckee
Aug 10, 2013 Katy Beth Mckee rated it it was amazing
Edmund likes Mack and on impulse asks him out. Then he proceeds to blow it completely and terrible with his overriding need to upset and embarrass his parents. He lets his family drama really hurt Mack and not only ruin his chance at a relationship but kill a friendship at the same time. The surprise in the story is Edmund's mom who turns out to have some insight and takes responsibility for her own roll in the ongoing family drama. But there is a lot to overcome now if these two have a chance ...more
Melanie~~
Nov 12, 2013 Melanie~~ rated it it was amazing
I loved that the dapper, "well-put-together" man was crushing on the burlier, "non-conventionally-attractive" man. I agree with another review who had issues with some of Edmund's behaviors. Still like them as a couple once he's able to pull his head out of his ass. ;-)

[NOTE: I rate most writing event stories (free reads) 4 or 5 stars because of my appreciation of the author's participation.]
Silkeeeeee
Cute as hell. Fun pickup lines. A little too quick, a little bit void of much emotion, a little shallow.
Victoria
Apr 18, 2015 Victoria rated it really liked it
3.5 - I enjoyed this sweet friends to lovers story. Nice interpretation of the photo and the story letter. Thank you Kathleen Hayes for donating your story, your time and your talent.
Monique
Dec 19, 2014 Monique rated it really liked it
This was a very sweet friends to lovers story. I enjoyed the mother's character, the touch of angst and the cute scenes between the MC's.
Rachel
Awwwww, I just loved this! I have a stupid grin on my face and I could not stop laughing at all the bad pick up lines. Such a sweet story, thank you so much!
K
Jul 28, 2013 K rated it really liked it
Shelves: dritc
LHNB Story released 27.7.13
3.5 stars rounded up
This is a cute short story of opposites whose long term friendship turns to more, certainly on the side of the narrator, Edmund.
Marlobo
Oct 28, 2014 Marlobo rated it really liked it
3,5 stars.

A light and sweet hors d'oeuvre.
Eric
Eric rated it really liked it
Jul 12, 2015
Mariana
Aug 02, 2013 Mariana rated it really liked it
Loved this little story... and especially loved the final two words :)
Michelle
Michelle rated it liked it
Apr 03, 2016
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Kathleen Hayes is a bit of an all around geek. She has mastered the art of procrastination, is owned by two crazy cats and is excited to have just added a fellow super geek to her clan. Kathleen loves to explore worlds – whether in her head or on page. She welcomes you into her worlds and hopes you have as much fun there as she does!

She writes M/M Romance and poetry. Check her out at Romacing the
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More about Kathleen Hayes...

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