The "disease" of self-deception (acting in ways contrary to what one knows is right) underlies all leadership problems in today's organizations, ac...
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Feb 17, 2008
Kim
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Aug 14, 2010
Eric
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I read this book in one day...I just couldn't put it down. An excellent book on how to be a better person and leader. Really set well with my beliefs on building relationships which are the love of others versus love of self. I think I will buy this book for each of my adult children to read. Hopefully they can learn these concepts faster than the 52 years it has taken me!
It is also a MUST read for leaders in business, especially if you are involved in Network Marketing. Really it i More...
It is also a MUST read for leaders in business, especially if you are involved in Network Marketing. Really it i More...
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Nov 18, 2008
VR
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A book that teaches powerful principles that I have already begun implementing to great effect in my own life. The principles we already know for the most part, and the general truths don't surprise, but The Arbinger Institute has blended and crafted them in such a way as to help us really put it all together. My favorite and most meaningful insight is that when we are "in the box" it doesn't matter what we do, how helpful or good we try to be, we will end up defeating ourselves. Fo
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May 10, 2011
Andrea
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I read this right after Anatomy of peace, and they both go right along with each other with the same principles taught. They both of very valuable books for anyone wanting to work on relationships.
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Mar 16, 2009
Cameron
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Life changing way to look at the people around us and our influence on them.
I have just gone through this book with another student and it has changed his life. He just apologized to his father for some serious stuff that he would not admit to in the past. He said he does not like his dad still but needs to treat him as a person because that is more fair.
What better endorsement for a book?
This is the fourth student I have gone through this book with and it is More...
I have just gone through this book with another student and it has changed his life. He just apologized to his father for some serious stuff that he would not admit to in the past. He said he does not like his dad still but needs to treat him as a person because that is more fair.
What better endorsement for a book?
This is the fourth student I have gone through this book with and it is More...
Jan 19, 2009
Kelly
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I came into work one day, and this book was on my desk with no note attached. I picked it up, flipped it over, and read the first quote on the back: "Fascinating, thought provoking, and insightful! This book is a wake-up call to all those who think they're good with people..."[return][return]Wait. What?! Was somebody trying to tell me something? Was this some passive-aggressive attempt at telling me I'm a bear to work with? I could actually feel my heart drop and hit my stomach. I hid
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Jan 22, 2012
Michael
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I would recommend this book highly. This is the text of a negative review posted on Amazon, and although the reader was not thrilled with the book their synopsis is good, I think:
I expected more than this:
People problems are at the root of most problems.
Self deception affects every aspect of life; it is the central problem of leadership.
More than your external behavior, people respond to how you feel about them. Do you see them as full persons or as objects More...
I expected more than this:
People problems are at the root of most problems.
Self deception affects every aspect of life; it is the central problem of leadership.
More than your external behavior, people respond to how you feel about them. Do you see them as full persons or as objects More...
Jan 16, 2012
Cassidy
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I don't read a lot of this type of book, so I don't have much in the category to compare it to. It's very fast-paced, easy reading, clearly designed to appeal to the broadest possible audience (i.e. elementary-school reading level). The core idea can be summed up this way: we humans tend to treat the people around us as objects, and doing so causes us to distort our perception of reality, and of other people, in ways that support that (incorrect) view of things. If instead you think of the pe
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Jan 02, 2012
London
rated it: 
I like to refer to this book as "the worst book I ever finished reading". Meaning that I kept reading it all the way to the end (including the 20 or so pages of Arbinger Institute sales pitch), which was long past the point where I wanted to put it down and not pick it back up again. What really got me was the condescending tone of the narrator. Others have described the same thing as "simplifying concepts to almost childlike speaking" but in reality, the narrator is so conde
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Dec 02, 2011
Jason
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I read this book as part of a class that I am taking. This is a hard book to swallow right now as "getting out of the box" sounds both cliche and somewhat morbid: it doesn't fit in our current pop-culture stream. The criteria that are evaluated land the reader in a new zone. The book is about the what the title portrays, but you don't have to go through the "paradigm" shifts and "outside the box" exercises that were the trend in the eighties and nighties. More than
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Jul 12, 2011
Daniel
rated it:
Leadership and Self Deception is a business fable that features a talented executive whose business successes are marred by an inability to recognize how his aggressive behavior and single minded focus has negatively impacted not only his colleagues, but his family life.
I will admit up front that had I not been on a long trip with nothing else to read, I probably wouldn’t have gotten past the first 20 pages or so. The fable’s opening lacks flow and features heavy handed scenes More...
I will admit up front that had I not been on a long trip with nothing else to read, I probably wouldn’t have gotten past the first 20 pages or so. The fable’s opening lacks flow and features heavy handed scenes More...
Feb 02, 2011
Alan
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This is a hard book to read - not because the language or ideas are lofty (just the opposite, the ideas have been made extremely accessible) -- the reason this book was hard to read, is because it nearly forces you to take a hard look at the way you live, the way you treat others, and the way you navigate through business, personal, and other situations.
The biggest take aways from this book, in my humble opinion, are that we often are at least part of the cause of the problems that we More...
The biggest take aways from this book, in my humble opinion, are that we often are at least part of the cause of the problems that we More...
Dec 13, 2010
Brad
rated it:
Meh...I am always unimpressed when a book has to lead you around in the "no really, it's a story" way. Who started this trend of business gurus pretending they had souls for a few moments to sell their chintzy wares? Oh well, that aside, there is some good thought behind this book. It uses trite imagery to try to tell you that your life would be better if you weren't so bloody selfish and self centered. There are pictures, and an image of a box that repeatedly means someone is bein
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Oct 01, 2010
Dwain
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Feb 25, 2010
Lenore
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My Dear Hubby said he knew he would marry Mrs. Right one day, but he did not know her first name would be Always. Well, he does say that joking but for a reason. I am very OCD and quite logical. Sorta a logical in a Mr. Spock kinda way. And even though it really helps me stay on track there is a backlash. You see I am a problem solver. Type A personality too! And in doing the things that come natural to me I tend to micro-manage too much. Then, of course, I become overwhelmed.
I am no More...
I am no More...
Oct 11, 2009
Ryan
rated it:
I enjoyed this book more than I thought I would. It was better than any of the 'leadership/management' books I read this summer. It reminded me a bit of The Peacegiver. The information in this book can be useful. The name of the book is a bit misleading or not helpful in understanding the book. The name suggests that this is a way to be a better leader, but it really is about being a better person. The name of the book seems like a marketing ploy to get business types to read it. I think
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Oct 08, 2009
Corinne
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"WHAT?" you say to yourself. WHAT is this fantasy-story-loving girl doing reading a book that demands shelving on the business/psychology shelf? And a valid question it is. I would never in one thousand years have picked it up if my dearly beloved husband hadn't read it first and told me that it changed his life. Changed it to the point where I am SEEING him look at the world in a different way. And when my husband, who has watched me read for 11+ years now and has never once asked me
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Jul 17, 2009
Kursten
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This is probably my favorite Arbinger Book because the concepts are kept really simple. I enjoy the story form that Arbinger uses because it is very engaging and made this an easy read. This is a life-changer type of book that I will read and study again because you can't just read it once and really learn or make changes. I had the opportunity to meet Duane Boyce (a psychologist, researcher and a founder/author of Arbinger Institute)and participate in a book discussion and question session on
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Jan 26, 2011
Jake
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This book is by far one of the more influential reads that I have come across. The narrative is easy to follow and entertaining. At many points, most readers will be able to identify with Tom as his own experience with the way that he deceives himself into thinking one way about reality-even if his perception of reality is not actual reality. The Arbinger Institute strategically and effectively tackle the disease that plagues many business, organizations, and families-self deception.
Th More...
Th More...
May 18, 2011
Landon
rated it:
Leadership and Self Deception is a self-help/learnship book. It teachs us how we as people tend to be selfish, and to be bais towards ourselves when forming opinons or giving blame. The book points out the importance of thinking of others as people, not objects, and how that attitude can change the way we do everything.
I had to read it for a College class, a communicaions class, if it wasn't for that I probably wouldn't have read it, and deffinatly wouldn't have finished it. I just feel li More...
I had to read it for a College class, a communicaions class, if it wasn't for that I probably wouldn't have read it, and deffinatly wouldn't have finished it. I just feel li More...
Aug 26, 2010
Joe
rated it:
I'm not even sure where to begin. I heard about the box at a ministry development event and, while I hadn't read it beforehand, upon hearing about it, I realized that I needed to ... so I ordered it from my iPhone before the day finished. That was one week ago today.
As I look back on my work, my marriage, and most of my life, I now see self-deception that has done harm in just about every area in my life. I can see how I've continually blamed others in just about every aspect of my lif More...
As I look back on my work, my marriage, and most of my life, I now see self-deception that has done harm in just about every area in my life. I can see how I've continually blamed others in just about every aspect of my lif More...
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Apr 24, 2009
Wendy
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This was more of a 4.5 star book--yep, it was that good. I'm not familiar with all the players in the Arbinger Institute, but from the style of the book I'm going to guess that James Ferrell (The Peacegiver) is one of them, which leads to my only complaint with the book--why ruin perfectly good ideas by trying to string a hollow, dull, lifeless story around those ideas? It's distracting. Ironically, I think it's meant to be helpful, in the whole vein of teaching-by-parable concept. I found it di
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Jul 13, 2011
The Knowledge Guy
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Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box by Arbinger Institute is a must read for those interested with improving interpersonal relationships and social interactions. The book is based on the teachings of a C. Terry Warner, a philosopher and the founder of Arbinger Institute. Arbinger Institute is a consulting firm that helps individuals improve their lives and large organizations increase their productivity.
Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box has a ph More...
Leadership and Self Deception: Getting Out of the Box has a ph More...
May 08, 2010
Shannon
rated it:
This book identifies how we are part of our the difficult situations or relationships that confront us.
It clearly demonstrates how even when we think we are 'justified' in our position, communication or behavior, if we are not contributing to the solution, we are quite likely perpetuating the problem.
In that, it also shows how once we can see our part in the problem, rather than continuing to be unaware (self-deception) or allowing ourselves to justify our position (in re More...
It clearly demonstrates how even when we think we are 'justified' in our position, communication or behavior, if we are not contributing to the solution, we are quite likely perpetuating the problem.
In that, it also shows how once we can see our part in the problem, rather than continuing to be unaware (self-deception) or allowing ourselves to justify our position (in re More...
May 20, 2008
Darci
rated it:
Great book! Dumb title! What is meant is that we're all 'leaders' in certain areas of our lives - either as a parent, an employer/boss, a teacher, etc.... It's written in more of a story/novel format. What I learned and continue to use from this book is to listen to promptings and feelings and act on them (otherwise they call it 'self-betrayal'). And also to be more charitable towards others. Recommend for anyone!
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May 11, 2010
Raven
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This book has lots of great ideas for escaping mindsets that trap us in cycles of destructive behavior and thoughts. By seeing people as people, instead of as objects, we open ourselves to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships. Several important principles in this book and I am going to try to apply them more fully in my own life. My only criticism with the book (and I feel this way about other Arbinger Group material as well) is the writing style. I understand that explaining the ideas t
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Feb 21, 2009
Ali
rated it:
This book takes a novel approach to self-discovery through Jungian psychology and applying it to leadership. The central theme of self-deception is: the problem is you don’t recognize there is a problem and therefore the problem is you. Whilst it seems to be a riddle, it is in fact a simple concept that is highly complex in its application. Self-deception blinds one to seeing the fundamental problem and therefore all solutions actually worsen the problem. This issue is highly important to l
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Sep 06, 2009
Autumn
rated it:
Okay - I know. Another one of those classical leadership books which really annoy people and frustrate them. Standard canned solution on how to manipulate people, right? Wrong. This book actually takes individuality to a new level. It talks about treating others around you well. It also goes off about burdens and how you carry some things which cause you to be a mirror. They used the standard catch phrase of "In the box" or "Out of the box" which does get frustrating. I thoug
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Oct 01, 2009
Laura
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If I could have all my nearest and dearest read one book right now, it would be “Leadership and Self Deception.” In a nutshell, it talks about how to solve “the problems that have been created by the little-known but pervasive problem of self-deception (the problem of not knowing, and resisting the possibility, that one has a problem).” This book was the first to use the term “getting out of the box”. I thought this referred to creativity, but instead it means being able to see others and the
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May 27, 2010
Chris
rated it:
This book was a secularist's version of "suppressing the truth in unrighteousness." They did a decent job of suppressing the fact that the only way out of self-deception is by the sheer grace of God.
I can understand why a bunch of secular philosophers and business gurus wouldn't dare get into the theological issues surrounding self-deception, but then I see the silliness they do get into, and it gives me a nice little gut-chuckle. On about every page of this book I kept t More...
I can understand why a bunch of secular philosophers and business gurus wouldn't dare get into the theological issues surrounding self-deception, but then I see the silliness they do get into, and it gives me a nice little gut-chuckle. On about every page of this book I kept t More...
