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Not A Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters
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Not A Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters

3.24  ·  Rating Details  ·  1,210 Ratings  ·  176 Reviews
40 million people in the US have tried Internet dating, which means 40 million people have probably gone on some pretty crappy dates. Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters is about one guy who experienced more than his fair share. Brian Donovan, a writer and comedian whose work has appeared on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, NPR, and Chapelle's Show, has been ...more
Kindle Edition, 68 pages
Published January 2nd 2013 by Thought Catalog (first published November 14th 2012)
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Apr 14, 2014 Stephanie rated it liked it
Shelves: humor, horror, 2014
Oh, I thought there were pretty funny moments in this book.....and this book was meant to be funny, but for me it was a book of horror.

Okay, Brian goes on a bunch of Internet dates (I think it was 100) for a duel purpose. One, to find the love of his life (spoiler, he does not) and to get material for a website/book (which he does). What he got for his Herculean effort was a parade of 'bat shit crazy'.

He says in the book that he couldn't say whether or not Internet dating was worse than actual
Coming right on the heels of an utter failure of an Audible freebie, I was at best hoping that this book would be bearable, and that I would not want to cancel Audible for misleading me twice in a row. Thankfully, Audible and I can still be friends, because this book was fucking hilarious.

Seriously, I spent 95% of this book giggling insanely while listening to his tales of dating what-the-fuckery, and it was fantastic. At one point, I decided that I needed some Lucky Charms, but that probably w
Sep 12, 2014 Tania rated it liked it
Shelves: non-fiction
3.5 stars. This was such a fun kindle short. I've never tried internet dating, and think if you did, you would enjoy this even more. I adore AJ Jacobs, and Brian Donovan has a similar writing style (a bit more swearing though). Part how-to and part memoir, my favorite chapter was The girl who was a Mennonite. I recommend this if you're in the mood for laughing out loud.
Aug 28, 2015 Lauren rated it really liked it
It’s Not A Match is a book about one man’s journey into online dating. From women who spontaneously broke down into uncontrollable sobbing during sex to women who criticized him for taking medication during a date on national TV, Brian Donovan has had a lot of bad experiences with and OKCupid. Divided pretty evenly between personal advice for online daters and his own disaster stories, the book was both entertaining and enlightening, but above all, this book was funny.

It’s Not A Match
Feb 04, 2013 Johanna rated it it was ok
Not very funny. Most stories were too short and the guy certainly likes to talk crap about women. "Women are crazy, am I right?" pretty much sums up this book.
Mar 26, 2014 Irfon-kim rated it did not like it
Shelves: audiobooks
This seems to be a book that can't decide what it wants to be, and perhaps because of that, doesn't excel at any of its options.

I picked it up as a free Audible book, figuring that it would make a funny bit of filler on a road trip sometime. Clocking in at around 2 hours in audio format, it seemed perfect for awkward gaps, and its light tone felt appropriate for those circumstances as well. Also, I'm generally fascinated with the topic of online dating, and dating practices in general, since I t
Jan 06, 2016 Erin rated it liked it
Not great writing, but it was really funny. I've been back in the dating scene after getting divorced two years ago, and it's reassuring to know that others have had some weird dates, too!
Feb 25, 2014 Nicole rated it liked it
I got this a free audible download, and I read it because I love stories about bad dates, especially bad internet dates. Most things I read on the topic are by women, so I was curious to hear a different perspective. There were some good stories about some pretty terrible dates and I laughed a few times, but this probably isn't something I would buy for myself if I hadn't gotten it for free. He misses the mark a few times with his advice. For instance, "men lying about being short" is not the on ...more
Feb 18, 2015 FloeticFlo rated it liked it
This was cute. Brian has a fun sense of humor and I often found myself laughing out loud as I listened to his Internet dating tales. He had some crazy things happen to him, but I think that the real appeal of this book is that most of us have been there -- amirite?! Even if their crazy dating stories haven't been from the online world, I think a lot of people will relate. The audiobook is about 2 hours, which according to Goodreads breaks down to 68 Kindle pages. That is a good length. Any longe ...more
Gwen Bentley
I literally nearly peed in my pants laughing at this! It's a very entertaining short that ended way too soon! I felt like I had spent a couple hours at a Vegas comedy show! I've never tried internet dating (been married to my high school sweetheart for almost 33 years), but that didn't stop me from seeing the EXTREME humor in this young man's journey to find a mate! I should add two warnings:
1. The language is strong as one might expect from a young man in the city, who has dealt with some extre
Genre: Nonfiction, Humor

This was funny, and occasionally laugh-out-loud funny, but I don't think I was its target audience, having never done online dating. It is exactly what the title says it is - one guy's stories of online dating disasters. He actually sandwiches what is probably good advice for how to handle the online dating scene in between the stories, along with advice that I wouldn't call good but at least is funny to read, along the lines of "if the date is going that badly, you're ne
Emily Flury
Mar 07, 2014 Emily Flury rated it it was ok
I received this book for free at It only took me a little over 2 hours to listen to so it was not a big time commitment. I am not currently online dating nor have I ever dated online so this book isn't really geared towards me. The book is, however, filled with some funny stories and words of caution about online dating. If I were an online dater or were considering becoming one, I would actually appreciate this book for its realistic advice and recommendations on how to set-up a pr ...more
Apr 03, 2014 Silas rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This was at least not terrible. It was occasionally amusing, if not something about which I am not particularly knowledgeable, since I am married, and have not tried online dating. There were at least some jokes and weird stories about bad dates. There was also less swearing than the last few free audible books (though there was still some, which seemed unnecessary). Still, it wasn't a complete waste of time, so at this point, it was an improvement. I will definitely be more critical of free aud ...more
Mar 06, 2014 Destinie rated it really liked it
I listened to this from and was pleasantly surprised. It was quirky, funny, and cute. I'm glad I listened rather than reading it, as I think some of the sentence structures would have made me insane if I was looking at them.
There wasn't a lot of depth in the stories which I was hoping there would not be as I needed a little break from some of the heavier novels and books I am immersed in right now. All in all it was nice to hear, and I would recommend it if you are looking for somet
Originally published at: A Girl that Likes Books

Why I read this book

Every once in a while, Audible is very generous and gives you free books! Off course, not always you find something that looks interesting, but this time I found this book and decided to give it a try.

What the book is about

For a bit more than 2 hours we learn about Donovan's experiences in dating online mostly through The book alternates between chapters about a specific dating experience and chapters with hints or ti
Dating in New York is a Horrible Crapshoot.

I pre-ordered Not a Match because like many twenty-somethings living in the New York metropolitan area, I have tried internet dating. It's the the only way I to meet people and successfully filter out the creeps and crazies 100% of 75% of the time. If the cosmopolitan mating call of dark, expensive cocktail soaked lounges with too-loud music after 9 doesn't appeal to you, and for some reason your best friend's mother won't set you up with a nice Jewish
Feb 04, 2013 Anastacia rated it really liked it
I loved this book! I was intrigued by it in the first place because I have had an internet date before, but unlike the author's experiences my relationship was great, and I have only been on one online date....ever.
Anyway, this story was hilarious! I mean the titles of the chapters are intriguing enough to make you want to read more (i.e. 'The Sex Crier', 'The Girl Who Did Heroin', 'The Girl Who Brought Her Boyfriend', etc.)
It was a short easy read, but was entertaining the entire way through. I
Lukas Lovas
Dec 21, 2014 Lukas Lovas rated it it was amazing
I was reading this when I was working in a room filled with morose people on a twelve hour shift. Big mistake. I'm sure they thought I was on drugs, for despite my best attempts I just couldn't stifle my laughter. Even when I did, I was smiling like an idiot the wole three hours it took me to read the book.
So....yes, it's funny. Highly entertaining writing style combined with truly hilarious experiences in dating made for a short but very enjoyable book. Definitely wort it :)
Dave Hay
Apr 10, 2014 Dave Hay rated it liked it
Shelves: audio
Got this as a free download audio book from Audible. Was not expecting much as 1) it ws free ( in this world?) and 2) not really my genre. In the end it made me giggle a few times and I enjoyed the 2hrs it took to listen too. Would have been able to listen to more of the many dating nightmares that he must have logged up. Glad that I listened to it rather than read it, as the narrator keeps the tempo about right, and I read at a pace that can pass over the ironic pauses.
Jul 02, 2014 Ashley rated it it was ok
This was a free gift from Audible that I finally got around to listening to. Overall I wasn't all that surprised, intrigued, or even satisfied with the dating stories. It's pretty well written and it had its moments but this book was just not for me. It was a quick listen and there were funny moments. I think the writing style was good, but there wasn't a whole lot of meat to the stories and honestly, I can't remember much worth sharing.
Apr 19, 2014 Jami rated it really liked it
Shelves: comedy
This was another freebie from Audible for Valentine's Day. Thank you for the laughs, Audible! I found myself laughing out loud on several occasions; I loved the author's self-deprecating humor. Although he met most of his dates on-line (the one near at the end was in person), it was more about dating in general than specific to on-line. I enjoyed the anecdotes as well as his "how-to" segments. Very funny and enjoyable short read!
David Lam
Mar 05, 2014 David Lam rated it liked it
If your male and done the internet dating thing, there will be something in this book that will make you laugh, if only because something similar has happened to you.
With some morally questionable advice, this book should not be taken as a "how to", in fact many of the stores are a "how not too"...

In the end, I'm not sure if he is actually looking for love or just the next story for his blog/book.
Nicole Blakey
May 29, 2014 Nicole Blakey rated it it was ok
I thought this book was just 'ok.' I only finished it to add the number to my reading goal for the year. Maybe it's because I have gone on my fair share of internet dates and I found that my stories are on par with his, so I didn't find much of the humour that others have written about.

I did get a couple of tips to use should I ever return to the crappy world of dating, internet or otherwise.
Matthew Turner
There are some surprisingly funny (like, laugh-out-loud-funny) stories in this book. Donovan’s self-deprecating style is super-relaxed and super-consumable. The observational humor was a little David Sedaris-esque. I imagine Donovan as that guy at the party with a bunch of people gathered close, listening with anticipatory grins to the almost unbelievable dating stories he’s accumulated over the years. Overall I had a pretty good time at this party, and was properly entertained.

There is, howeve
Jul 08, 2014 CK rated it liked it
Shelves: real-life, funny
Clearly this is a comedy and not a self help guide to how best to internet date but for anyone who has actually been out there and tried it, or your still trying it, these stories will not only be familiar but will have you laughing at not only Brian's disasters but also your own......and it does not matter if you are male or female these will resonate with you!
May 16, 2014 Abigail rated it liked it
I admit, I listened to this one on audiobook because audible gave it out free (I think it was valentine's day or something). I didn't expect to enjoy it all that much considering I am not single and have never gone on an internet date- BUT I enjoyed the way the author gives hints to help you have a good evening - even while on the worst date of your life.
Feb 19, 2014 Maeve rated it liked it
This was a fun read and made me feel better about my own attempts at internet dating as well as confirming much of its challenges. It was a bit hard on women (claiming their only complaint with internet dating is that short men lie...) otherwise it would be rated higher, but clearly someone who has been on more than 100 bad internet dates would be a little bitter :)
Feb 15, 2014 Celeste rated it really liked it
Hilarious. As someone who has ventured into the online dating world more than once, I found myself nodding along to this one as I read. Told from the male point of view, this book offered me some comfort to know that it's not all that different on the other side of the screen. Men and women alike suffer through untold awkwardness in the quest to find companionship.
Kimmy Higginbotham
Jul 07, 2014 Kimmy Higginbotham rated it really liked it
Funny and interesting enough that I read it in one sitting, which is high praise considering my dyslexia and ADD. The book was not entirely what I thought it was going to be and was slightly repetitive, but those aspects only made it more funny and interesting to me. I really enjoyed reading this, and recommend it to anyone who has tried online dating.
Mar 04, 2014 Nicki rated it it was ok
This was okay. It's short at 68 pages, but that was okay. I don't think it would have held up any longer. A few blind date horror stories and antidotes.
Read better, (as in, more interesting to me personally), in this genre, but writing is good and maybe it would appeal more to a male reader. As a free download, certainly no complaints.
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Brian Donovan has written for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, National Public Radio, and, most recently, ABC’s The Neighbors. His work has also appeared on Chapelle’s Show, Funny or Die, and Off Broadway in New York City. His “Not a Match: My True Tales of Online Dating Disasters” is currently being developed for television.
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