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So Now You're a Zombie...
 
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John Austin
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So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead

3.45 of 5 stars 3.45  ·  rating details  ·  336 ratings  ·  55 reviews
All aspects of the zombie lifestyle are surveyed in this satirical take on an orientation manual for the newly undead. From how one became a zombie in the first place and the stages of zombification to survival mechanisms, this handbook offers specific advice on everything a fresh zombie needs to know about "life" expectancy, hunting techniques, hitching a ride, hand-to-mo ...more
ebook, 224 pages
Published October 1st 2010 by Chicago Review Press (first published January 1st 2010)
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 723)
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Kat
I found this book via a Goodreads Group thread, and decided it sounded fun.

As a self-confessed Zombie addict, I've read a lot of Zombie books over the past two years, and I've got very definite ideas about what I like, what entertains me, and what I don't like. This book falls firmly into two categories - I liked it, and it entertained me!

Although there is a glut of zombie-esque books available at the moment, this book is in two of the lesser travelled perspectives - survivor guide, and zombie
...more
Kate
Nov 06, 2012 Kate rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Zombies and breathers who heart them
Shelves: e-books, zombie-love
Ok, so you've been infected with the z-virus and you've reanimated into a zombie, now what?

Pick up this guide my shambling friends and it will let you know how many brains you will need to consume so you don't decompose too rapidly, how to attack humans successfully so that you too can spread your infection and wipe out as many breathers as zombie possible, and how to get out of the tough situations you're bound to find yourself in.

This manual is full of great knowledge, as well as humor, and I
...more
Dan C.
So Now You're A Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead is kind of the zombie counterpart to Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide. Rather than serving as a manual for surviving the zombie apocalypse, this book guides reanimated corpses through some lessons on how to maximize carnage

As you might expect, it only took me a couple days to read and it only took that long because I was juggling another book along with and trying not to lose it - a distinct possibility any time I have more than one bo
...more
Kirstine
I got this book for my kindle, through Amazons Kindle Daily Deal, and I have to say I rather enjoyed it. I might not have bought it if it hadn't been so cheap, but I'm glad I had the opportunity, because it was most definitely a fun read.

There's a slight zombie craze going on right now (perhaps with the success of AMC's The Walking Dead?), but mostly the focus is on the survivors and their fight to stay alive.
So what to do if you suddenly find yourself turning into a zombie? This book is defin
...more
Jessica
This was a really funny book. It is about time that someone wrote a handbook to help the newly "Zombified" out there. There are plenty of non-fiction books written to help "breathers" deal with the "alleged" zombie menace (See Max Brooks' books for example) but this is the first one I ever encountered created with Zombie readers in mind. Though you might question whether zombies have the mental faculties to successfully put a book such as this to good use, you cannot deny that it is a step in th ...more
Yvonne Mendez
Some time ago I made the decision to be among the first to die in any type of apocalypse, let others carry on trying to re-make civilization, hunt, gather and hopefully bury or incinerate my body. This handbook is the best guide in case the apocalypse turns out to be of the zombie type. Since I will be among the first ones I need to know what to do. The Handbook has illustrations and instructions easy enough for a zombie to follow, zombie feeding etiquette, how to get a meal and what not to eat. ...more
Tom Duff
So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead
John Austin

I didn't go to the library to get this, but it happened to be on display as a "recommended read"... So Now You're a Zombie: A Handbook for the Newly Undead by John Austin. I thought it might be a fun read and twist from the normal zombie reading material I've looked at. With it's tongue-in-cheek approach to zombie "survival", it was entertaining.

Contents:
Introduction - The Road to Brainville: Zombie Assessment; Safety Precaution
...more
Sara
Feb 15, 2014 Sara rated it 2 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Masochists
A quick read that seems to have been thrown together to capitalize on the recent zombie craze. Basically, it is the zombie’s answer/counterpart to Max Brooks’ “The Zombie Survival Guide”…minus any humor, originality, or enjoyment derived from reading it. This book is basically 1.5 stars with points given only for the author’s effort (illustrations, very few misspellings) although I suspect this was churned out pretty rapidly. In short, if you like zombies, laughing, or leading an enjoyable life, ...more
Jennifer Wardrip
Hilariously funny - recommended to all zombie fans.
Kevin Lanahan
I've enjoyed a lot of the latest rash of zombie books, including some of the first-person zombie memoirs and survivor guides. The mash-ups have been interesting, to say the least.

For some reason, though, this one didn't do much for me. I don't know if zombies have jumped the shark and are silly, or if the market is just glutted right now, but I really think the only reason this book exists is for "the final word" chapter, and the publisher thought they could build a book around it.

I give the a
...more
Rebecca Ann
This is a really hilarious guide for those who have just become zombies. The author is playing off all of the zombie survival guides flooding the market right now, and keeps the same tone. The guide is set up so you can flip to any chapter and don't need to read it straight through, although I did. It has all kinds of fun sections like the zombie history, the ways humans make mistakes that will lead them to be eaten, the waiting for food chapters...etc. I didn't really care for all of the vehicl ...more
Steven Shinder
I read this a second time today and was reminded of how humorous this book is. It is very much the antithesis of Max Brooks' Zombie Survival Guide. Rather than a book for humans on how to survive zombies, it is a book for zombies on how to hunt humans! It even contains its own "Zed History" that could fit well with the "Recorded Attacks" timeline in The Zombie Survival Guide. Here are some examples of how they can mesh:

ZH - 200,000 B.C., The rise of zombo sapiens
RA - 60,000 B.C., Katanda, Africa
...more
Michele Lee
Reviewed for Monster Librarian
So Now You're a Zombie is a book in vein of The Zen of Zombie and Z.E.O by Scott Kenemore, but rather than mix the undead and self help books it crams loads of in-jokes into a beginner's guide to zombies. While it's not necessarily a fiction book (there's no real story), it's not quite nonfiction either and often too grim to be pure humor.
What this book is, is a reflection of our current obsession with zombies and all the forms the zed stories have taken. Another
...more
Doug
A nice, quick read that happens to be humorous and informative! I love how the author incorporated real life events and history such as the migration of Homo Sapiens, the black plague, and the Great Chicago Fire of 1871. Very informative, you learn the basics of what you would expect and then a whole lot more.

Usually when I'm finished with a book I delete it from my phone/kindle app to save space.. but I think I'll keep this on there for a while. It will come in handy if when the Zombie Apocalyp
...more
Elise Myers
This book (along with illustrations) was hilarious. It was a very light-hearted read that was a nice diversion from the hustle and bustle of everyday.
Najela
Just reading this for fun and research for my zombie story. Plus it's free on Kindle. Just some interesting lore about zombies...
josh
Feb 26, 2011 josh rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: zombie defense squads
Recommended to josh by: "new non-fiction" shelf @ UAPL
Shelves: fiction, zombies
I'm not sure how, but zombies figured out printing techniques and have published a manual of their ghoulish tactics. Fortunately, for the human resistance, it can be found in the non-fiction section of local libraries and studied to develop counter-measures to Zed tactics. The zeds feel that this knowledge prepares them to exploit perceived weaknesses in our defenses, but I see it more as one of those "good" hackers you pay to break into your system to tell you what your weaknesses are --- now t ...more
Michelle (In Libris Veritas)
I found this to be a nice little original zombie 'handbook'. There are a lot out there for the humans in-case of the whole zombie apocalypse but there are few in the way of providing help for the zombies. I found it to be occasionally witty and for the most part pretty interesting. It's a super quick read and has a lot of pictures but of the 'serious' nature and few that kind of goofy.
Despite it's clearly goofy nature there a re few tidbits that humans can harvest for future use if need be...an
...more
Jessica at Book Sake
I love zombies and this book is a quick, fun, and easy read. The book explains how to survive and how to capture human brains when you are a zombie. The book is filled with great pictures that are humorous as well. There are many funny parts throughout this book which is to be expected with a title like that. It’s a great guide for those of us that know the zombie apocalypse is right around the corner. A few moments of the book were slow and contained basic knowledge any future zombie should alr ...more
Ariel
If I ever become a zombie, this is the first book I will hide in my sternum.
Jerry Teipen
An excellent handbook for all of the aspiring zombies out there!
Kathryn
Just in case the zombie apocalypse books don't work for me. This book is a must read for all new zombies. It is broken down into chapters addressing such important topics as Your Zombie Body, Hunting for Brains, Human Buffet, and Infecting. There is even a section at the end covering zombicide, for when you are just tired of being undead. There are many great illustrations throughout the book to help clarify the subject matter.
Sue
i admit i picked this book up because it looked hilarious - it was. i had recently read the forest of hands and teeth and am working on the sequels. it was surprising how much of the stuff that i read in that novel was portrayed and "explained" in the handbook. the title reminded me of the michael keaton movie "beetlejuice". a very fun and informational read. i will now be prepared for a zombie outbreak!
Ferdi van der Kamp
3.5 stars if it would have been possible, bought it for the reason of something new and easy to read in between some other books. For that purpose it was more then sufficient, fun written, nice viewpoint, educative (kind of) and together with the nice figures supporting the text.

So why only 3(.5) stars, simply said: ''Liked it, Read it, did his Job, and Nothing more then that.''
Ethan Fleck
So the first laugh I got out if this book was that it was categorized as Non-Fiction :) It was a somewhat good read: entertaining, informative, and it covered the age old topic that's on everyone's minds: don't zombies have to poop?!?! I won't give the answer away to that one. It had lot's of funny illustrations, but it got a little old after a while, so I give it 3 stars.
Nechelle
The book A handbook for the newly undead by John Austin is pretty much just a handbook for the newly undead...I know this book because my brother couldnt stop thinking about a "zombie invasion".So anyway there are no probloms or any specific characters besides you as a zombie,...The book is not really suggested to ANYONE unless your a zombie or a zombie fan.
John
Beautiful glossy cover and full of nifty illustrations colored only black, white, gray and red. As a short handbook, it's difficult to rate. I have warm feelings towards it, but maybe it could have delved deeper into many topics.
Something Neat: There's an entire page of alternative names for "zombie" (ie decomps, greenies, etc).
Bert Edens
This was just a fun read from beginning to end. Hadn't really thought about what it would be like to be a zombie, but this book definitely covers it very thoroughly.

If you're preparing for World War Z, you have to read this to know how the other side will behave. I hesitate to say "think" because, well, they're Zeds :)
Tony
I am a zombie aficionado and I really wanted to like this. Nice presentation of material but the writing was just ho-hum. I have read scholarly essays on zombies that were more exciting. Couldn't believe they felt they had to use "frickin'" instead of "fuckin'," but that kind of sums up my problem with it.
Melissa
Very tongue-in-cheek (except some zombies don't have tongues, or cheeks). I know people love their vampires and stuff, but zombies are my personal fave, so I enjoyed this. The graphics were entertaining and the comments about first attacking your PIA boss or ex had me laughing. Good in small doses.
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Librarian Note: There is more than one author by this name in the Goodreads data base.
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