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The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World

3.7 of 5 stars 3.70  ·  rating details  ·  2,149 ratings  ·  261 reviews
Introversion Is a Gift.
This clever and pithy book challenges introverts to take ownership of their personalities...with quiet strength. Sophia Dembling asserts that the introvert's lifestyle is not "wrong" or lacking, as society or extroverts would have us believe. Through a combination of personal insights and psychology, The Introvert's Way helps and encourages introver
ebook, 176 pages
Published December 1st 2012 by Perigee Books
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"I have to admit, there were times over the course of my life...when even I wondered if maybe I were some kind of coldhearted snob. Why was I so reluctant to go to parties and why did I want to leave them shortly after arriving? Why did I get annoyed if a date with a friend turned into a group outing? Why was I so picky, picky, picky about who I spent time with? Why did weekly check-in phone calls from friends get on my nerves? Why did gregarious people cause be a back away slowly? Why did I lik ...more
I wish I can quote almost half of the book. Sophia Dembling's The Introvert's Way: Living a quiet life in a noisy world was sharp, witty, and an easy read with a touch of research, psychology, insights from introverted people around the world, and her perspective of introversion, which is the heart of this book. Now, to begin with, I have been hunting this book for quite a long time already and I must admit it was such a struggle before I finally purchased it with a huge grin on my face. But I m ...more
Chapter 27: "Fact 1: Some People Are Boring. Fact 2: You Are Not Obligated to Listen to Them."

This book is boring. Dembling writes about introversion almost exclusively from within her own experience of that trait. There's a sprinkling of science, but mostly The Introvert's Way is a memoir of Dembling's own life as an introvert.

Unfortunately, the type of introvert she is happens to be almost the exact opposite from the type of introvert I am. I found some of her writing helpful or recognizable:
'The Introvert's Way' makes a nice companion to Susan Cain's 'Quiet', another book about the glory of being an introvert, though it is also great as a stand-alone title. (I only mention it in conjunction with the latter because I read and loved them both) Dembling doesn't make the case that introversion is better or worse than being extroverted. Rather, she clearly illustrates the benefits and drawbacks of both. I found myself nodding in agreement through most of the book, as well as confronting ...more
**Way to Be an Introvert**

The Table of Contents is what sold me on this book. In and off itself, it captures the challenges, quirks, and perks of being an introvert:
• Introverts Unite
• What Would Jung Say?
• The Great American Racket
• Science Says We’re Not Necessarily Shy
• Born to Be Mild
• Quiet Riot
• Just Intense Enough
• The Slow Train of Thought
• The Internal Flame
• What Quiet Says
• The Fertile Void
• I Like to Watch
• Energy In, Energy Out
• “We Didn’t Know You Were an Introvert, We Just Thought
My extrovert wife and our two extrovert sons bought this for me for Christmas almost as a joke. There is a lot of truth in what the author says: there is nothing wrong with introverts. My introvert son gets to read read it next. Then maybe my annoyingly extrovert mother and brother.

There is one thing I did not like. If we use the Myers-Briggs model, there are eight flavors of introvert, and the differences between being an I and an E are as important as the differences between being S-N, T-F or
This is the second book I've read on the subject of introversion. I was lead to this book through Amazon recommendations after I read "Quiet: The Power of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain. I loved that book and I always knew myself to be an introvert but had never done any real reading about what exactly makes someone an introvert. Susan Cain's book was marvelous and I found myself within those pages over and over.

Sophia Dembling's book is not quite as substantial as
Jeff Kelleher
Short, sharp, and funny.

Once in a rare while, you come across a book that you can give to family, friends, spouses, or lovers and say, "If you really want to understand me, read this." Most of the time, expecting them to actually read the thing is an imposition. They had better have a large investment in you.

Here, the book is such quick and funny reading that the imposition is slight. The payoff, though, is large. They will stop feeling offended when you just want to closet yourself and read; st
I was introduced to this book after reading an article by Sophia Dembling in the Wall Street Journal on December 14, 2012 entitled "All I Want for Christmas Is...A Little Space," so I picked up a copy of "The Introvert's Way" in hopes of learning more about introverts like myself. I was not disappointed.

Ms. Dembling immediately dives into shattering the common misconceptions on introverts. Distinguishing shyness from introversion, she states "shy people are scared of socializing. Introverts just
Repetitive and the content only touches on the surface of the subject. I felt that the writer was indulging herself too much on her experience like a broken record.

Here's an example:

"I am a flâneur. Many of my best moments of travel have involved sitting and watching. In New York, I spend hours in Central Park, drifting from one bench to another to watch the passing scene. I did the same sitting alone under the long summer sun in the Vigeland sculpture garden in Oslo. In Venice, my husband and
Karen Blinn
Since the publication of Quiet in 2012, introverts have started speaking up for themselves in numerous ways, including blogs and more books. This book by Dembling has the subtitle of "Living quiet in a noisy world". I very much enjoyed the first one-third or so of the book. As I read further, however, it dawned on me that the book is more than likely a re-working of entries from the author's blog. She focuses on introverts and parties as well as introverts' dislike of talking on the telephone i ...more
I've been reading Sophia Dembling's Introvert's Corner blog post for about a year, and I like her take on introversion. This is a breezy book about living a full life according to your own standards, not by an extrovert-rewarding society's standards. There are plenty of anecdotes and tips about carving out me-time or socializing without exhaustion which are useful. There's also a lot of empowerment if you're just starting to assert yourself as an introvert.
As someone who's been upfront about my
A great book for introverts. No you're not shy, you're not lonely, you're not weak. You're not less than extroverts just because you like your own company. That's all right. This book can also help extroverts understand why introverts act the way they do. Highly recommended. I plan to read this again. I might even buy my own copy instead of just reading the library one.
Chapters are short and include: Science says we're not necessarily shy; Born to be mild; Introverts are not failed extroverts; I
I am an introvert and this book did help me feel more comfortable with that label. I'm just not this author's type of introvert. I'm not angry or resentful at other extroverts. I am not as dependent on technology for communication as the author is and claims all other introverts are. I'm actually pretty happy and at peace in my own head. I didn't identify with the author or many of the other people's experiences the author uses. I also found the short chapters distracting and repetitive. It's mo ...more
thank you Sophia Dembling ,thank you very much for writing this book . I think it's about time that we speak out about these stupid stereotypes and made up labels.funny,Honest and informing specially for those who are in a relationship with an introvert.
so as for the book :

NO ,I don't envy extroverts that's absurd; I'm definitely not shy , while by nature I'm quiet; I have no problem talking to an individual or a big group of people, in fact public speaking is my favorite activity however I enj
This has some funny paragraphs, but is nothing like as good as "Quiet". It was repetitive and the author seems to assume that all introverts are like her. I found her negative and quite cross with extroverts. Favourite bit - things introverts like: walking, reading, coffee shops, long meals with a good friend, having the house to themselves, knitting, art galleries and museums. Things introverts hate: karaoke, audience participation, costume parties, practical jokes.
Andrew Doohan
Another of the increasing number of books written about introverts by introverts, this book particularly looks at the way in which introverts tend to act in the world, and how they can continue to avoid the usual labels attached to them by the large number of people who still do not grasp the reality of introverts.

I found myself nodding my head over and over again as I worked my way through the very short and pithy chapters, each looking at a particular aspect of behaviour as experienced by intr
This book was . . . meh. It had a few good points, several good chapters, but over-all it droned a bit about the same things. I would give it two and a half stars if Goodreads did half stars. Nonetheless, there's no need wasting any more time detailing something I thought was average, at best.
After reading Susan Cain's 'Quiet' I read this; it was slightly tepid in comparison. Cain's book was peppered with personal anecdotes but also relied heavily on interviews with professional researchers which appealed to me. Dembling's approach was more myopic. That said I appreciated a few gems tucked away in this book. She offered tips on how to avoid the guilt of avoiding certain people and situations to prevent stress/sensory overload. I would have loved to have read this years ago when I rea ...more
Juliana Es
Insightful, engaging, enlightening.
I never realised that I was (and still am) an introvert, until a psychology test (conducted by a professional), proved it. Since then, I had a big question mark about introversion, and this book answers a lot of doubts.
From looking at the other reviews about this book, it seems as though the less you've read about introversion, the more you'll like it. And vice versa.

This is a very validating book for someone who is just learning about their introversion and hasn't figured out how to make it work within their own life, and it has good tips and ideas for someone struggling in their own world.

However, if you're looking for something with a little more substantive research and practical ways to view your/other'
Funny take on Introversion, very validating. Would love to buy a copy for everyone I know!!
Rayfes Mondal
Most people think I'm extroverted since I have a lot of friends but I need a lot of time alone and at parties I prefer one on one conversation. This book demonstrates that introversion isn't just the absence of extroverted behavior but something more interesting and better. Sophia understands introversion completely and is adept at describing all facets of it. This was a very easy (and quick at only a week) book to read. I'd recommend to introverts for sure but also to extroverts so you can unde ...more
Matthew Ciarvella
A light, enjoyable read that ends up being much more memoir than psychology. Some of the entries are more interesting than others, but this book was worth my time just for the chapters on introverted children and their family members (which I related to very well) and the chapter on people who will argue that "you're not an introvert" as though such persons are experts on the topic of me. If you read and loved Susan Cain's Quiet, I'd give this one a look. If Quiet wasn't to your taste, I doubt y ...more
Prasenjeet Kumar
A very refreshingly humorous book (if I may use that term). This book has a very light way of dealing with the issues of introversion compared to the other sombre books that I have read on the subject matter. Sophia teaches introverts to be proud of their introversion.

I especially like her humour. Some of the tidbits I really enjoyed were:

"We didn't know that you were an introvert. We simply thought you were a bitch" and how introverts can use "diarrhoea" as an excuse to leave a boring extrover
This book was recommended to me, and I was afraid it was just another self-help book. Why? Because I've been under the impression that my introversion was something to feel bad about -- a lack of something rather than a something of its own. But it is not the opposite of extroversion, rather it's a balance to extroversion. We aren't misanthropes, rather, we just prefer to have a few close friends that we can connect to on a deeper level as opposed to a lot of what we might consider acquaintances ...more
3.5 - This was an easy and amusing read but it didn't really give me anything new. Maybe it's because I'm already quite knowledgeable about introversion (through the Internet) and am also quite sure and accepting of what I am (I'm an introvert AND shy, with a sprinkle of anxiety and the occasional misanthropic moments).

Despite that, I still enjoyed reading it and I appreciated the self-help tips. Although I guess I'll still cope without party tips, as a non-American who's not accustomed to the
William Nist
As a doorman guarding the entrance to the Cathedral of Schitzoidom, this book, while not taking that final step of total liberation, goes a long way to guide the life of the introvert; showing him or her how to negotiate in a world full of extroverts (75% she suggests). 'Bout time.

Often fascinating, this very perceptive work (her list of abhorrent situations for the introvert include Karaoke, Audience participation, Costume events, Skinny dipping and Practical jokes), has many very practical su
Terri Jacobson
Introverts have gotten a bad rap over the years. Extroverts are supposedly more creative, outgoing, personable, and quality team players. This book debunks many of these myths. Introverts have very strong and positive personal qualities, and this book points out many of them. It offers numerous examples and insights into the positive nature of introversion. Being an introvert myself, I found this book a real eye-opener and very empowering. It has helped me to embrace my own nature and see it as ...more
This is a great introductory book to the concept of introvert vs extrovert vs shyness. As the first real reading I've done on introversion, it really felt like I was coming home and felt truly understood for the first time. The chapters are short and approachable. The attitude is positive, compassionate and constructive with specific ideas on how to learn about your own version of introversion and some basic ideas on how to help yourself manage your energy while still having a social life. I lov ...more
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“Introverts think carefully before they speak. We can be excellent public speakers because we prepare carefully.” 42 likes
“What is a friend? We probably all have our own definitions. For me, it's someone I don't feel alone with. Who doesn't bore me. Whose life I connect with and who takes reciprocal interest in my life. It's someone I feel comfortable turning to when I need to be talked off the ledge, and for whom I am glad to return the favor.
Just a few people in my life fit that bill.”
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