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Crucial Confrontations: Tools for Resolving Broken Promises, Violated Expectations, and Bad Behavior

4.07  ·  Rating Details  ·  3,256 Ratings  ·  149 Reviews
The authors of the "New York Times" bestseller "Crucial Conversations" show you how to achieve personal, team, and organizational success by healing broken promises, resolving violated expectations, and influencing good behavior

Discover skills to resolve touchy, controversial, and complex issues at work and at home--now available in this follow-up to the internationally po
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Paperback, 280 pages
Published August 26th 2004 by McGraw-Hill Companies
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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. CoveyCrucial Conversations by Kerry PattersonThe Art of Startup Fundraising by Alejandro CremadesInfluencer by Kerry PattersonFirst, Break All the Rules by Marcus Buckingham
Top Management Books
19th out of 158 books — 131 voters
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. CoveyHow to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale CarnegieGood to Great by James C. CollinsGetting Things Done by David AllenThe Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
The 100 Best Business Books of All Time
96th out of 276 books — 401 voters


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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Kristy Tillman
May 28, 2012 Kristy Tillman rated it really liked it
Shelves: own
If you want to really help people excel in life - this is a must have book on communication. It really deals with so much more than communication and confrontation. The chapter on motivation has given me so much more understanding on how people are motivated and it gave me some really great tools to help others and myself get unstuck.

I also loved this quote on safety "At the foundation of every successful confrontation lies safety. When others feel frightened or nervous or otherwise unsafe, you
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Kelli
Oct 10, 2010 Kelli rated it really liked it
I'm not much of a confrontational person because I lose control when emotions and stakes are high. But after reading this book, I really do feel like I could talk to anyone about anything, if I had the time to plan for it. It takes preparation to make a crucial confrontation go well.
What I liked from the book is how the authors encourage you to have your crucial confrontations. So often we shy out of them and endure the unpleasant consequences. It's almost always worth it to have them. Another m
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Terrah Mayes
Mar 06, 2013 Terrah Mayes rated it it was amazing
We all run into sticky situations, we all have to confront or be confronted by others in this life. This book teaches the skills that all schools should be teaching in order to deal with bullying and it is written for real life situations again great examples of what happens if we avoid a confrontation the consequences or if we face the situation again the consequences. Example: what if you are a nurse and you see the surgeon not scrub up properly, and you know a life could hang in the balance. ...more
Marsha
Jul 25, 2015 Marsha rated it it was amazing
It is a helpful resource for dealing with uncomfortable situations. I have already experienced success in its application. The principles it uses to guide accountability conversations are wholistic and well grounded, rather than a set of gimmicks or tricks to get people to bend to the desired outcome. The process leads to a win-win situation with both parties becoming better people.
Melissa Bond
Apr 10, 2011 Melissa Bond rated it liked it
A very interesting and helpful resource in dealing with those uncomfortable situations that often waste time and leave with hurt feelings. However, it was quite a convoluted way to explain common sense, especially since there was too often little in exact details to handling a situation. To put it simply, imagine reading a book on how to change the oil in a car. If this author wrote that book, you would know all the signs leading up to changing the oil, but none on exactly how to do it. Still, t ...more
Josh Steimle
Jul 07, 2012 Josh Steimle rated it liked it
It's been a little while since I read Crucial Conversations, so maybe I'm forgetting things, but it seems to me like this book is more or less more of the same. In that sense, it's good stuff. But if you're looking for something exciting and new that gives you valuable information on top of what you already learned from Crucial Conversations, well, not so much. I'd treat it more as an appendix to the original as opposed to a new volume. I'd give it four stars for the content, but only three sinc ...more
Vasyl Pasternak
The book is full of recipes how to behave in tough conversations. Highly recommended to everyone, who works or leads groups
Matthew
May 26, 2015 Matthew rated it it was amazing
This book is out of the "how to run a better business" genre, which is a category I do not generally read.
However, it was recommended to me at several levels given my work position. So I gave it a read.

And I must say it is excellent.
It really should be read by everyone, but it is particularly relevant to anyone in a position of responsibility/oversight.

It is a very insightful and useful manual on how to frame and approach accountability conversations. Sounded a bit ridiculous to me, so I approa
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Rickey
Dec 04, 2015 Rickey marked it as to-read-more
Recommended to Rickey by: Tamara Fackrell, mediation trainer
"Permanently resolve failed promises and missed deadlines."
"Transform broken rules and bad behaviors into productive accountability."
"Strengthen relationships while solving problems."

Strong claims.

"Brilliant strategies for those difficult discussions at home and in the workplace..." wrote Soledad O'Brien, cohost of CNN's Morning Edition.

"Revolutionary ideas... opportunities for breakthrough..." comes the recommendation from the late Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effecti
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Scott Wozniak
Jun 03, 2014 Scott Wozniak rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Super powerful book. The topic is related to their other book, Crucial Conversations, but there isn't as much overlap as I feared. Some general principles are shared because they're truths about how people communicate in general (like pausing to establish safety if they accuse you of a personal attack). But this book is about the specific aspects of a relationship here you have set an expectation or a standard--and how to discuss when those expectations aren't met.

Some points they make are just
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Matt Evans
Feb 22, 2011 Matt Evans rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book takes the principles from Crucial Conversations and applies them specifically to confrontational situations. The words ‘conversation’ and ‘confrontation’ are rather easy to get confused. At least for me.
‘Confrontation,’ per CConf’s use, denotes a simple (i.e., value neutral) assessment of one’s expectation of what another is supposed to do versus one’s observation of that other has actually done.

In other words, the skill of confrontation is useful in all walks of life, at all times, fo
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Anna
Aug 07, 2013 Anna rated it it was amazing
Shelves: psychology
This is a fantastic book! Very well written, well organized, and full of examples and research.

(Forgive me. I somehow lost my review while typing it up, so I'm trying to remember what I had already written.)
The authors are very careful to make sure that for each concept given that there is an appropriate example of a conversation that either could possibly happen or was actually observed. This enables the reader to mentally wrap their head around how such a conversation would go for them as well
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Heather
Jun 18, 2011 Heather rated it it was amazing
Shelves: leadership
This was a GREAT book! I liked it so much I hurried to read it in three days before I had return it to the library. :) I liked it a lot better than Crucial Conversations--maybe that's because I'm finally internalizing some of Crucial Conversations after reading it a few times and so this book made more sense. I feel like it gave more examples I could relate to. Crucial Confrontations takes those principles from Crucial Conversations and shows how to use them in really important situations while ...more
Kater Cheek
Jul 10, 2013 Kater Cheek rated it liked it
This feels like more of a textbook than a non fiction for the layman, but that may have been because it was lent to me in a set of two, with an audio guide. It reads like a self help book, which is really what it is.

I think almost everyone needs this book. Most people are not very good at having crucial confrontations with others in a way that's effective and motivating. Usually they avoid the conversation entirely, or don't get to the root of the problem. Frequently people resort too quickly t
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Cristina
Dec 20, 2015 Cristina rated it it was amazing
This book is one must-have handbook (filled with actual instructions) for everyone aiming at successfully participating in and contributing to a healthier communication environment, both at home and at work.

Favourite take-aways:
- "perhaps the largest avoidable cost in every organisation is the loss of energy that comes every time someone abuses his or her power"
- "you don't have to make it all better. All you have to do is collaborate."
Jon
Jan 28, 2016 Jon rated it it was amazing
Great and worthy follow up to Crucial Conversations. I have found that my body often responds/reacts in interesting ways when I get into a tough discussion. The tools in the book should be useful for me to be better equipped.
Highly recommended. This is a book I should probably read every year. It's quote short and easy to read through.
Susan Campbell
This is such a great book on how to manage conflicts at work or in your personal life. It provides you with a system (process) of how you can resolve any tough issue while still maintaining a great relationship. I must admit, it takes a lot of practice, but the process is truly scientific and it works all the time.
Peter Krol
Sep 26, 2011 Peter Krol rated it it was amazing
Shelves: business
I know you won't admit it, but you're just like me.

You have all those very difficult conversations that you know you need to have, but you run from them. Your co-worker gets away with anything, even though everyone knows they can't be trusted. That issue has been hanging between you and your spouse, and you just don't know how to address it without tempers flaring. Your children would benefit from more engagement with life, but whenever you bring it up they roll their eyes at the guest lecturer
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Beth
Jan 27, 2016 Beth rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I took a long time to read this book because 1) it was two titles in one and 2) I really wanted to absorb what the authors were saying. This book is full of common sense, practical advice that I've found help having difficult conversations easier. As I was reading it, I had a lot of, "Well, of course, moments," but I liked the authors points about how, when you get in the moment, practicing all the skills discussed in the book (which come easier and more naturally to some than others) is tremend ...more
Elaine
Apr 06, 2010 Elaine rated it really liked it
EXCELLENT READ!!
I'm very grateful that this book series/authors were introduced to me. I'm very excited about the treasures in the business management genre... I never knew!
Now, I'm not into business management... but this book is a fantastic read for anyone who wants to do a better job of communicating with EVERYONE in their lives! I learned SO much and intend to read it again and again so that I can continue to improve.
Anyone who wants to improve their relationships would benefit from taking t
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Marnette Falley
Mar 21, 2007 Marnette Falley rated it really liked it
Together with Crucial Conversations (which is by the same authors), this is my favorite book about communication. This one talks about when and whether to confront someone about their behavior, how to master the stories you tell yourself about the situation,and how to communicate the gap you feel between your expectations and their behavior with respect.

What's great about the book, though, is that it really shows you/tells you what these conversations sound like. It's focused on application of
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S. Lynham
Feb 22, 2015 S. Lynham rated it it was amazing
Getting ready for potential management position requires some reading and this is one book that is excellent as is the second edition called "Crucial Accountability" that I also read this past week...lots to learn
Heidi Gonzalez
Mar 01, 2012 Heidi Gonzalez rated it really liked it
Easy to read and follow, a bit repetitive but not annoyingly so, this book touches on so many confrontation styles and how to have them more effectively. I thought I was pretty good at confrontations but I learned that I still could use some work. There are some really great practical ideas that can be used for home and work environments. Coming out of silence and confronting people in a honest and non-threatening way can make all of our lives easier. This is a great tool for supervisors, leade ...more
Monique
Jun 22, 2014 Monique rated it really liked it
Shelves: work-read
Easy to read with clear examples on how to change your interactions with others. I read this for a class and was able to apply several of the concepts immediately.
Clackamas
Jan 15, 2008 Clackamas rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: managers
Recommended to Clackamas by: Boss
This is a great book to read for a business setting and can also help your personal communications. It teaches you how to recognize the real problem so that you address the issues that are actually going to make a difference. It also lays out decision making processes to help you decide IF this is a crucial confrontation. It shows you what a typical crucial confrontation looks like, and the negative effects that it can have on the workplace. The authors then illustrate what that conversation cou ...more
John Harris
Jun 26, 2014 John Harris rated it it was amazing
I guess it was updated to Crucial Accountability. Either way it was another great read by this group. Great supplemental reading for Crucial Conversations.
Kelsey Dutton
Sep 14, 2014 Kelsey Dutton rated it liked it
This book is nicely laid out and presents useful tactics to keep in mind. If only calm reasoning was everyone's first response to conflict.
Hidi Gardner
When it comes to potentially difficult conversations, the question is not so much "Can I fail?" but "Should I try?"
John Dobbin
Mar 12, 2014 John Dobbin rated it it was amazing
Shelves: business
This, and its companion (Crucial Conversations), should be mandatory reading for every manager and every parent
Mrs. Garland
Read this. No matter who you are, read it. It has so much potential to impact your life in a positive way.
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Kerry is a prolific writer who has coauthored numerous articles and award-winning training programs. Kerry taught at Brigham Young University’s Marriott School of Management and then cofounded Interact Performance Systems, where he worked for ten years as vice president of research and development. Kerry is coauthor of the New York Times bestsellers Change Anything, Crucial Conversations, Crucial ...more
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“If the story is unflattering and the feeling is anger, adrenaline kicks in. Under the influence of adrenaline, blood leaves our brains to help support our genetically engineered response of “fight or flight,” and we end up thinking with the brain of a reptile. We say and do dim-witted things.” 2 likes
“consequence of the original act and helps unbundle the problem.” 0 likes
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