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The Pull of The Moon

3.8 of 5 stars 3.80 · rating details · 4,112 ratings · 407 reviews

Dear Martin, I'm sorry the note I left you was so abrupt. I just wanted you to know I was safe...I won't be back for a while. I'm on a trip. I needed all of a sudden to go, without saying where, because I don't know where. I know this is not like me. I know that. But please believe me, I am safe and I am not crazy. I felt as though if I didn't do this I wouldn't be safe an...more

Paperback, 224 pages

Published February 5th 2004 by Random House (first published 1996)

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Aug 07, 2010 Reese rated it 4 of 5 stars

RATING UPDATE: When I gave five stars to THE PULL OF THE MOON, I was thinking only about my enjoyment of this book. Then today, while I was thinking about several other five-star books, I decided that this Berg novel doesn't belong in the group that I call tier-one books.

Preface: My review of THE PULL OF THE MOON would have been posted Thursday night, but lightning attacked the computer's modem as I was proofreading the review for the fifth time. (Note to self -- never proofread your work more...more RATING UPDATE: When I gave five stars to THE PULL OF THE MOON, I was thinking only about my enjoyment of this book. Then today, while I was thinking about several other five-star books, I decided that this Berg novel doesn't belong in the group that I call tier-one books.

Preface: My review of THE PULL OF THE MOON would have been posted Thursday night, but lightning attacked the computer's modem as I was proofreading the review for the fifth time. (Note to self -- never proofread your work more than four times during a major storm.) Now that I have Internet access again, I'm composing a review to replace the one that Mother Nature wiped out. Arghhhh, mothers!

Although I don't play music while I'm reading, certain books make me hear it. The latest example: THE PULL OF THE MOON -- it kept depositing invisible quarters in the jukebox in my head and pressing the button for Stephen Sondheim's "Who's That Woman?" So I couldn't read Elizabeth Berg's words without hearing, "Who's that woman? I know I know that woman. . . . Each day I see her pass/In my looking-glass -- /Lord, Lord, Lord, that woman is me!"(FOLLIES). Nan, Berg's protagonist who explores and exposes herself through the alternating letters and journal entries that make up the novel -- yeah, I know that woman. I don't, of course, see her in my mirror; but I know what she sees in her mirror because I know what I see in mine. There is much in our lives, especially our husbands (at opposite ends of an arc), that could prompt me to say, "Nan and I have little in common." But what we have in common compels me to say, "I REALLY do know that woman."

We are the same age. Well, not strictly speaking. She's eight years younger than I am, but "menopausally speaking" (Sarah P., you can add that expression to your lexicon), I can claim to be her age. It is an age at which many a woman says a tearful goodbye to womanhood because her ovaries are now wearing matching Rest-In-Peace rings. It is an age at which she REALLY, REALLY can't stand her body and -- in Nan's case --her life as well. Her life no longer includes dreams if you don't count the frightening type.

At the beginning of seventh grade, Nan imagined Nan the writer, Nan the scientist, Nan the archeologist, Nan the "favorite teacher" -- everyone's (118). Exciting possibilities were there for her. Although at fifty she refers to her age as "the age of losses" (142), her journal entries indicate that, like many women, the onset of menstruation is the real "age of losses." "By the middle of the year [seventh grade:]," she tells us, "the phone replaced Hitchcock and my sure dreams of being everything"(119). Hiding under the beauty of the arrival of womanhood is the death of dreams.

As a young woman, Nan married Martin. And Nan and Martin had a child. And Nan had married a man who could be counted on. And she had married a man who could be counted on to dismiss each of her occasional proposals to take a risk -- to put her creative urges into something besides meeting her husband's and child's needs. According to Martin, "life is by and large meaningless and dull"(123). And he does his part to validate that belief.

Nan the fifty-year-old woman -- not a writer, not an archeologist, not a biologist -- realizes that she "meant to come back" after she went "underground for twenty-five years"(124). Once her daughter is on her own, though, she can see that "the bread crumbs got blown away"(124). Readers familiar with "To Room Nineteen" might notice the similarity between what Berg's protagonist reveals about herself and what Doris Lessing's narrator says about Susan Rawlings: "Susan saw herself as she had been at twenty-eight, unmarried; and then again somewhere about fifty, blossoming from the root of what she had been twenty years before. As if the essential Susan were in abeyance, as if she were in cold storage"(A MAN AND TWO WOMEN 286). Susan Rawlings' ritualized travel "to room nineteen" of FRED'S HOTEL to sit alone, however, is nothing like Nan's uncharted journey, during which she pays close attention to both self and the big world beyond one's self.

Since most of us who imagine ourselves on solo trips to anywhere will choose close encounters only of the mental kind, I say, "Let Berg take you where you may need to go. Nan will lead the way and make the experience interesting." I'm talking to the guys out there too, but not the "babies." If you're under forty, you should wait at least a decade to pull THE PULL OF THE MOON off a shelf -- unless you're trying to understand your mother.

P.S. I have not yet read Berg's "On Writing THE PULL OF THE MOON," which follows the novel in the edition that I have, because I did not want the author's comments to affect my review. (less)

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Dec 02, 2008 Antof9 rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2007-read, women

This was a fascinating book! It definitely had a lot of melancholy, but I wasn't filled with despair or depression while reading it. I just wrote on another thing I read recently that lately I require "hope" in my reading. This is the oldest character Berg has written yet that I've read, and although she didn't disappoint, I find myself prefering her younger characters.

Re the beauty shop scene -- I know I would have stood up and shouted, "Brava!" had I been there :)

One of the things I like so mu...more This was a fascinating book! It definitely had a lot of melancholy, but I wasn't filled with despair or depression while reading it. I just wrote on another thing I read recently that lately I require "hope" in my reading. This is the oldest character Berg has written yet that I've read, and although she didn't disappoint, I find myself prefering her younger characters.

Re the beauty shop scene -- I know I would have stood up and shouted, "Brava!" had I been there :)

One of the things I like so much about Elizabeth Berg is that she writes things that have actually happened to me. Not the entire story and plot, per se, but the way she describes things is just spot-on. For example, "I pulled over and I wept so hard the car was shaking ..." I myself have done this very thing. And oddly, one of the things I noticed after crying for a while was that the car was shaking. This is real, and only those people who have done this would know it. And then further down the same page, such a poetic piece of writing. She's describing something upsetting: "and the feeling would have been of all my eggs being walked on by boots." Brilliant!

I found this part rather thought-provoking. Enough to mark the page, anyway: in describing how they have come into affluence, she describes buying new cars before the new-car smell has gone from the old one. New furniture, fashions, etc. "... for what? So that we can sit out on our (new) deck in the summer and drink vodka and tonics out of vodka-and-tonic glasses with limes that have been cut with the (new) lime cutter? It's always bothered me, what we lost when we stopped being able to fit our things into the trunk of our car. ... [Martin] says it's a luxury of being rich to wish you were poor. I don't want to be poor. I just want to be appreciative." (emphasis mine)

Again, I just love Berg's comments: "She wore a sweatshirt and jeans and lovely pearl studs in her ears -- dressing up a bit of herself so she wouldn't forget how, no doubt. You will see this in mothers of small children: they dress up from the neck up. Everything else is in danger of peanut butter." Isn't that awesome? It's almost a slogan.

I turned 40 the year I read this, so it's interesting to think about things like menopause, getting older, becoming part of the scenery, how menopause was for my mother (I made her life miserable), etc. This was a good book to read at this time in my life, and it made me rather introspective. It's possibly the deepest Berg I've read yet, too.(less)

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Jan 23, 2013 Annie rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

I tend to have a fondness for books that are entirely written in letters or journal entries, there is something so voyeuristic and personal about it, so I was delighted to see this book followed that format.
Nan is a fifty-year old women who has spontaneously, and abruptly taken a solo road trip. Readers are her companions on this journey, peeking into her journal entries and are privy to letters written to her husband, Martin. She has no agenda, driving wherever she wants, eating whatever she de...more I tend to have a fondness for books that are entirely written in letters or journal entries, there is something so voyeuristic and personal about it, so I was delighted to see this book followed that format.
Nan is a fifty-year old women who has spontaneously, and abruptly taken a solo road trip. Readers are her companions on this journey, peeking into her journal entries and are privy to letters written to her husband, Martin. She has no agenda, driving wherever she wants, eating whatever she desires, and making sure to talk with anyone who crosses her path. In the process, she reflects upon her life. It’s a enjoyable travelogue, that at times goes deep; Nan reflects and ponders on issues of her own life, topics that all women can relate to, for example: marriage, aging, children, sex, and her gender.
The story had the potential to veer into syrupy, sappy territory. It is credit to the author that it usually didn’t, but overall the novel did seem to be trying really hard. It seems as if every encounter had to be a deep cathartic experience for Nan. She could have come across whiny and irritating, but she is actually likable and relatable character. There was a particular storyline that didn’t make a ton of sense to me, and I guess I feel as if it didn’t fit with her overall nature. However, I recognize it could be argued that Nan was engaging in self-discovery and adventure.
I really enjoy Elizabeth Berg’s writing and this book was no exception. This particular story was nice, light and frothy, while still touching upon difficult subjects and how a middle-age woman grapples with the passage of time. However, I didn’t love it, even if it is for reasons I can’t quite articulate. It seemed as if it’s one of those books that fall in the “fine” category. Elizabeth Berg paints another portrait of hope in personal crisis.

There is some sexual content, nothing too graphic and it’s not meant to be sensual. There is acknowledgement that sex exists. I don’t recall too much language.

Favorite Quotes:
I went to a lecture once by a famous psychiatrist who was talking about how women must rid themselves of the idea that they are sitting on the ground, eyes cast downward, waiting for a man to tap them on the shoulder…I believed, at twelve, that I could be a scientist. I read a book a day. I believed I could be a writer, an actress, a professor of English in Rome, an acrobat in a purple spangled outfit. Days opened for me like the pulling apart of curtains at a play you’ve been dying to see…I spoke to all the dogs in the neighborhood, and they understood me. I patted them so hard dust rose up off their backs in tiny, dim clouds, and they understood this, too-they stood still for it for as long as I would do it, their eyes closed in itchy pleasure. My life was like a wild, beating thing, exotic, capable of unfolding and enlarging itself, pulling itself higher and higher up like a kite loved by the wind, and it was captured beneath my cereal bowl. There in front of me, my own for the taking. And then, suddenly, lost.

Do you know how much I long for you to lift the rock, to tell me about your underside? You once said, “women are all the time asking what men are thinking about. We’re not thinking about anything!” Well, maybe that’s true. But we are. We are thinking about things. It seems to me that the working minds and hearts of women are just so interesting, so full of color and life. And one of the most tragic things I’ve seen is that way that’s been overlooked, the way that if you try to discover what the women were doing at any given time in history, you are hard-pressed to find out. Why? I want to say to you that we are not silly, that what we think about and what drives us to talk, talk, talk, this is vital.

I just wish I could cross over a little faster, I wish that this part of watching things go would not be so hard.

You accept change in your life or you might as well be dead.

Author’s note:
Because I’m pretty sure the gift you get when you do such a thing is to reclaim or even discover for the first time a certain authenticity of self, which, when we do not have it, makes for a dark and ineluctable despair.
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Oct 15, 2012 Bonita added it

Wives, this one’s for you.
Husbands, you can skip to the last paragraph.

A poignant, yet joyful story of Nan who, at 50, penned a note to her husband, got in the car, and ‘ran away from home.’

This page-turner gives a window into Nan’s heart and mind as she struggles with personal identity and the foreseeable journey toward old age. Through daily journal entries and letters home to her husband Martin, we feel her fear and share in her moments of elation.

One especially insightful chapter has Nan sh...more

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Aug 30, 2012 Eliza Victoria rated it 5 of 5 stars

Nan is fifty. She feels the weight of her body, its sudden changes, the weight of her marriage and her little sadnesses, and she gets up and into her car and drives away. Left behind is her husband Martin, and their daughter, Ruthie, away in college.

This isn’t new. I’ve read many stories of runaway wives and mothers. Runaway rich, ex-hippie wives and mothers, who meet interesting characters during their road trip. Of course. But what makes this novel special for me is Nan herself, with her clear...more

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Aug 06, 2012 Ann Douglas rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction, novel, read-in-2012, reviewed

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Mar 08, 2012 Diane rated it 4 of 5 stars

I read this book years ago and just read it again. Love it. Love Elizabeth Berg. It's about a 50-year-old woman who takes a road trip to rediscover the girl she used to be. My favorite passage from the book:

Here is a forties photograph of a woman that I found in last Sunday's paper. She is seated on the grass, wearing a suit and a hat, her purse centered in her lap. She is smiling, but her eyes ache, and behind her, I know this, her hands are clenched. She can't relax. She has forgotten the gras...more

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Nov 12, 2011 Jane rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I really liked this book. I have never read anything by Elizabeth Berg and again it was left by a guest who had been staying with us. It's funny how the right 'thing' comes along in your life just at the right moment. As a woman of a certain age myself and approaching my first half century this book has been sat by my bedside for over a year and I have just decided to read it. I liked the character Nan and could completely identify with her and the way she was feeling about her life at this mome...more

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Sep 05, 2011 Amy (SpedBug) rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Amy (SpedBug) by: Donna Marshall

Shelves: couldn-t-put-it-down

I had read Year of Pleasures a few years ago and enjoyed it very much, but for some reason didn’t read anything else by Berg until now. Pull of the Moon made me wonder why. I remembered as I read this latest book that her novels are the sort I gulp down, written with beautifully crafted thoughts in a simple way. I also remembered that she often wrote as if echoing my thoughts.

In Pull of the Moon, this feeling was even more pronounced perhaps because Berg’s character, Nan, is 50 and struggling wi...more I had read Year of Pleasures a few years ago and enjoyed it very much, but for some reason didn’t read anything else by Berg until now. Pull of the Moon made me wonder why. I remembered as I read this latest book that her novels are the sort I gulp down, written with beautifully crafted thoughts in a simple way. I also remembered that she often wrote as if echoing my thoughts.

In Pull of the Moon, this feeling was even more pronounced perhaps because Berg’s character, Nan, is 50 and struggling within the ‘sticky middle’ of youth and old age. I’m a couple years younger and not able to completely relate to Nan in every aspect of her experience, but it’s close enough to resonate.

”I am preoccupied with my body,” Nan writes in her journal. Overly watchful of change. It’s like being a teenager again, without the cuteness. Without the promise.

The book, written as alternating letter and journal entries, begins with Nan’s first letter to her husband, written from the road after leaving him a note that she’s left on a road trip of sorts. In the letter, she tells him that she’s sorry she said she’d only be gone a couple days, because she’s not ready to come back yet. She assures him she loves him and she’s safe, but that she needs this time to think. ”Martin, I am fifty years old. The time of losses is upon me. Maybe that’s it. I don’t know. I saw Kotex in the drugstore the other day and began to weep. Then I saw a mother with a very little girl, helping her pick out crayons, and this, too, undid me. I had to leave without buying what I came for.”

Nan is struggling through menopause and with her sense of identity. She freely admits she chose to be a stay-at-home mother and that she fiercely loved that period of her life, but realizes she’s unsure how to define herself now that that part of her life is over. Some of the observations Nan makes about being a young mother are pitch perfect. In one of the letters she writes to her husband she talks about how she both loved and lived for their daughter, but how, at times, she “could feel some brightness of mind dulling” in the mundane day-to-day task of caring for a child and home. “It is such a violent love, that of a mother for a young child. And I had to be there no matter the cost.”

I perfectly remember that time of my life and how I would have begged, borrowed, and stolen to remain home with and continue to care for Austin. At the same time, I can remember lamenting, “I feel like my brain is leaking out my ear!” It was crucial that I be the one to perform all the mundane tasks necessary to raise her even though they sometimes made me feel my brain was atrophying. “I made her baby food. I picked out her toys and clothes. I took her to school every day, I pulled her shades down for her naps, I took her to the doctor, I braided her hair and buckled her shoes, and mounted her artwork on the refrigerator. And I wanted to. I wanted to.”

The letter/journal form of the book gives Berg license to ramble a bit, but it works in this case. Nan’s thoughts and impressions on being female are visited through different moments in her life. She touches on the subject of gender roles, how a certain freedom is lost once girls reach puberty, how women both anxiously await and then loathe their periods, and how when that time of their lives is over, they grieve it. Berg also revisits, through Nan, the different periods and nuances of women’s sexuality, from their first time, to the expectations, to the waning desire. This particularly rang true: ”I think every woman I know has a story like that, some incident of paralyzed humiliation involving a man and sex.”

I suppose this book resonated so strongly for me because I read it on trip back to Delaware from New York City after moving our twenty-one-year-old daughter into her first apartment. It struck me that even though I’m in the ‘sticky middle’ of my life and the role I most identified with (stay-at-home mother) is over, there remains in me the girl I was and the young woman I became. As Augusten Burroughs said of this book¸ “the present tucked inside this book is the realization that you still are the child you once were — you just never take your watch off anymore.”
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Mar 24, 2010 Heather rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: favorites

In Pull of the Moon, you follow along with Nan on both her physical and emotional journeys, shared with you through her diary entries and letters to her loved ones.

Nan is fifty, married with a grown daughter, and she has reached that point that I think many women reach at some point. She has spent her life as a wife and a mother, and has forgotten who SHE is, and now is consumed by the additional fear of losing her youth and desirability as she faces the physical changes of menopause. So she pac...more In Pull of the Moon, you follow along with Nan on both her physical and emotional journeys, shared with you through her diary entries and letters to her loved ones.

Nan is fifty, married with a grown daughter, and she has reached that point that I think many women reach at some point. She has spent her life as a wife and a mother, and has forgotten who SHE is, and now is consumed by the additional fear of losing her youth and desirability as she faces the physical changes of menopause. So she packs up, hops in the car, and just leaves her husband with a note of apology. She travels around the country, getting to know herself again, remembering who she is and what she likes and what she wants, while writing in her diary and writing letters to her husband to share with him the discoveries that she is making along the way.

I'll just say it. I LOVED this book. I can't truly identify with Nan. I've never lost my identity. Perhaps it's because I've never had children, and I've been divorced for ten years. So I have been able to maintain a better sense of my self. Perhaps it's just because I have a very strong knowledge of "who I am", as I never had any fear of losing myself during my ten years of marriage either.

So I found myself not really identifying with this place where Nan had found herself: feeling lost, depressed and on the verge of losing her mind along with her identity. However I could still identify with HER. She is every woman, on the basest of levels. And I love the way that author Elizabeth Berg causes me to turn the mirror on myself with a little "Aha!"

I like Nan. I like how she reminds me of things that I haven't thought of for a long time, I like when she makes observations like "...and soon we were all laughing, it was the kind of thing where the laughter feeds on itself, where the sound of someone else's snorting and wheezing keeps you going until you don't even know why you started laughing in the first place-- and you don't care. It's so good for you, that kind of hard laughter, so cleansing-- you feel like your liver's been held up and hosed down, your heart relieved of a million grimy weights." I remember that feeling, although it's been a long time since I felt it. Remember sitting around with your girlfriends, giggling hysterically, and someone would ask what was so funny, and you'd just shake your head and say "I don't know", look at each other, and laugh even harder?

I love the clear and descriptive visual analogies of statements like "Today I woke up and felt the old pull of sadness back. It's like a robe that is too heavy, weighing down my shoulders, dragging up dirt as it follows along behind me." This is one of my favorite lines from the book.

Even though I am divorced with no children, and am at a very different place in my life, there is a part of me that could identify with Nan. I could identify with her when she confessed, "I wanted to be able to tell Ruthie how to be popular, how to make and keep friends. But I was-- and still am-- pretty much a loner, one who wearies of almost anyone's company much too soon...Even when I got older, I'd be sitting with a bunch of college friends and suddenly have to leave...I wanted Ruthie to be different from me, to be someone who could make casual conversation without clenching her fists, who could be comfortable at a party." I think that most women can identify with Nan at some point. There's a little Nan in all of us.

Last night I sat in the movie theater, reading my book while we waited for the movie to start , and reached over and whispered in my boyfriend's ear. "You know how I'm always telling you that if I don't have someone to share an experience with, it's as if it never happened? Like 'If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?'" He nodded. "In my book she says, 'Occasionally, one learns quiet, and then how to keep it. Even me, who has always felt that everything must be shared, in order for it to be.' See? Nan gets me."(less)

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Jul 10, 2009 Barbara Mader rated it 2 of 5 stars

Meh. I'd give it one star but for the moments of good writing. The protagonist, Nan, seemed to be a navel-gazing, rather shallow bore of a woman who gets mad at her husband, men in general, and the world at large when she is soooo unfairly subjected to aging like everyone else. Yawn.

She runs away from home, and the book consists of letters to her husband and entries in a journal. By the end of the book it seems to me she hasn't changed at all except to take a tiny bit more responsibility for he...more

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Feb 06, 2010 Karen rated it 3 of 5 stars

I picked this up right before the library closed today, and am more than halfway through. It's an easy read, but touching. It's completely written in journal/letter form. A 50-year old woman runs away... to nowhere in particular. Chapters alternate between her daily letters to her husband and her journal entries. I found myself "caught", at times, as though I were reading something that I had secretly written and someone else had found. Striking, and somewhat embarrassing, to be honest.
*********...more

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Jul 06, 2008 Marie rated it 5 of 5 stars

I absolutely loved this book. It is a book about a woman who is 50 and takes a road trip by herself. She writes letters home to her husband and keeps a journal. Berg says a lot of things that most women just think about. I would recommend this book to women in their 50's and to younger just married women too. I think it would be an eye-opener to men too.
This is a quick read - I watched it during the Men's Finals at Wimbeldon - and was done before the fifth set started

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Mar 29, 2012 Ana rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: women, 2012

I was drawn to this book because of the pretty cover (I love seashells!) and the lovely title (I've always been fascinated with the moon and its mythical associations).

While reading "The Song of Achilles", I would find myself pulled (pun intended) to the shelf were this book was and I would think that "The Pull of the Moon" was the book I should be reading. So I finished the "Achilles" as quickly as I could in order to lose myself in this one…

I found myself moved to tears while reading Nan's jou...more I was drawn to this book because of the pretty cover (I love seashells!) and the lovely title (I've always been fascinated with the moon and its mythical associations).

While reading "The Song of Achilles", I would find myself pulled (pun intended) to the shelf were this book was and I would think that "The Pull of the Moon" was the book I should be reading. So I finished the "Achilles" as quickly as I could in order to lose myself in this one…

I found myself moved to tears while reading Nan's journal entries, or Nan's letters to her husband. I found little bits of lessons in each new entry. I'd highlight quote after insightful quote. I recognized myself in the women who, like Nan, give up all their power (for lack of a better word) to their husbands and companions, the women who want to be heard only to find their voices shut down. I saw myself in every page: my fears, my hopes, my dreams, my wanting to escape and start over, my desire to be a better, truer version of myself.

In the end, poem Nan buys and writes about reminded me of C. P. Cavafy's "Ithaka". Beautiful…

Wow! I was blown away. Without knowing (or at least remembering consciously), this was indeed THE book I had to read. I couldn't have read it at a "better" time in my life. I felt like the author was talking to me, or about me; looking through me. Now, I'm not fifty and I'm not married. I'm on the verge of turning 30 and going through a bit of an existential crisis. I am definitely NOT where I thought I would be at this point in my life. And on top of that, the man I thought I was going to marry told me that he didn't know what he wanted anymore and left me about a month ago. I was feeling lonely, sad… But most of all, I was feeling lost. Like Nan, I bought a beautiful journal (the cover has a print with Wind Roses/Compasses all over – very symbolic). But I haven't started writing yet. I was afraid to damage it somehow. Afraid my words were limiting and harming the unwritten pages. I know it's silly but that's how I felt before reading this book. Now, I can't wait to start writing…

In short, spectacular book. I can't wait to read it again!!!

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Jun 22, 2010 Michelle rated it 1 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. The Pull Of The Moon is about a woman having a mid-life crises who runs away from her husband to "find herself". The book was written in journal/letter form. As soon as I started reading The Pull Of The Moon, I immediately disliked the demanding self indulgence of the main character. I became sympathetic instead towards her husband who seemed kind of sweet for the most part, never really having done anything very hurtful to her. There were a few parts where we were supposed to feel sorry for her...more The Pull Of The Moon is about a woman having a mid-life crises who runs away from her husband to "find herself". The book was written in journal/letter form. As soon as I started reading The Pull Of The Moon, I immediately disliked the demanding self indulgence of the main character. I became sympathetic instead towards her husband who seemed kind of sweet for the most part, never really having done anything very hurtful to her. There were a few parts where we were supposed to feel sorry for her because of his indifference, but she just seemed so overly dramatic and impossible to satisfy that I couldn't muster up the compassion. Instead I found myself thinking, "He's probably doing his best." I think the worst part of the book though was her relations to the people she met. She seemed to meet everyone with such a condescending shallowness, and yet she herself was upset about not being seen.? She stereotypes each person she encounters by their outward appearance coming up with her own made up prejudice details of who they are and what they do. An elderly man strikes up a friendly conversation with her and she is bored with him deciding that he's the type of guy who wears cheap socks and doesn't change them frequently. The most laughable though was when the main character drives up to a trailer park and meets a woman with lots of black eyeliner, smokers breath, with a laundry basket on her hip. Seriously. She is invited in for lunch only to be surprised it actually looks like a clean home instead of being covered with dirty dishes like she expected. She brings this unrealistic, outrageously stereotyped woman to the mall to buy her something and of course all the lady wants to buy is some trashy on sale clothes and a potato peeler while the main character, of course, buys some books. I found the entire book from start to finish filled with this same condescending tone. She was self centered and unable to deal with things in a mature manner. In the end, there was little forgiveness, but more of an "I'm-going-to-run-the-show-now" type mentality. It was ironic too because the main character seemed to think she was having some deep transcendent experience. But all of her supposed depth came across to me as very shallow.

To be fair to the author, I think I will read another one of her books because I have heard such great things about her. As I read through other reviews of this book, I saw many people say it was not nearly as good as her other works. They too found the main character difficult to relate to.
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Dec 08, 2012 Ginger Hallett rated it 2 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

1 like · like · see review

Jan 02, 2011 Jane rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: women of every age

Recommended to Jane by: Peggy Fletcher

I read this book several years ago and thoroughly enjoyed it! It has a poetic cadence to it and was familiar and personal to me. Fran has reached her 50th birthday. She loves her husband and family but has recently discovered she has always been thinking of them without finding out who she truly is. Facing an empty nest, menopause and other midlife events, Fran takes a road trip and uses the pull of the moon to guide her to unexpected places and people. Along the way, she faces her fears, learns...more

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Jun 14, 2011 Elaine rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really liked this book probably because of my age, I can identify with so much of what Nan feels and does - facing middle age is daunting for most women. I like what she said about being fifty - Fifty years old. It is an impossible age in many ways. Not old. Not young. What it is, is being in the sticky middle, setting one gigantic thing aside in order to make room for the next gigantic thing, and in between, feeling the rush of air down the unprotected back of the neck. I know the transition...more

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Jan 07, 2008 Julie Blankenship rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Elizabeth Berg writes seamlessly in this story. Her ability to turn a phrase is truly a gift. What would take me a million words and a thousand hand gestures to relate, she can do in a simple phrase. I did lack a bit of sympathy for the main character though. Running away in a BMW did not gather any boo-hoo's from me. Although the people she meets on her journey are true and fascinating.

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Feb 18, 2013 Nancy rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: epistolary, relationships, women, travel

Written in alternating letters to her husband and diary entries, Nan, a middle-aged housewife has left home with no clear direction of where she’s going, just that she needs to get away or she’ll go crazy. She has numerous adventures and meets lots of people that she finds easy to approach, probably because she’s alone. When she’s ready to return home, she knows there’s a chance her husband will be angry, but she hopes not.
While reading this book I kept wondering how my husband of 30 years woul...more

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May 03, 2011 Andrea Larson rated it 4 of 5 stars

Elizabeth Berg is among my very favorite authors because the way she writes leads me to believe that we could be sisters in another dimension. Her characters feel the way I have, but she manages to express these feelings in ways I never would have been able to. I connect with her and/or her characters. All main characters are women, about my age, dealing with the same issues/thoughts/feelings that I have dealt with. But her writing style is often poetic in nature, and I find myself re-reading ph...more

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Apr 10, 2009 Louise rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction

The story of "50" year old Nan, a wife and mother who suddenly decides to pick up and leave home for awhile. Nan is learning to accept that she's fifty. Stopping in various town, cities, villages and farms she meets some interesting people and through them she begins to understand herself, to accept what she's missed and to really know what she wants at this stage of her life. Being "almost" 50 myself, I could relate to alot of what she was saying. Oh, how nice that would be sometimes to just pa...more

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May 18, 2013 Kristin rated it 1 of 5 stars

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Apr 13, 2007 terry rated it 4 of 5 stars

I love Berg's writing. . .
This book reminded me of Anne Tyler's "Breathing Lessons".
The "voice" is very strong. . .
If you read this book you must read "Martin's Letter to Nan". . .a short story in Ordinary Lives by Berg. It's a follow up and gives a wonderful "male" perspective.

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Jun 09, 2009 Wendy Welch rated it 5 of 5 stars

NOW we're talking functional dysfunction! This is such a nice take on the woman-comes-of-age-in-second-childhood theme - which we have about 4,000 of in our bookstore. It takes a gifted writer with some insight to make a plot that stands out.

The biggest difference between Berg's and the also-rans seems to be that in this book, not everything is the man's fault, and she still LOVES her husband. She's just frustrated. And she understands that. Self-aware angst is very refreshing. Also some tongue...more

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Apr 29, 2010 Gail Mclinn rated it 3 of 5 stars

I loved the concept of the book. I particularly like the light way in which she dealt with change of life and women's issues. The idea of being invisible, dealing with our fears, in search of our own spirit, great concepts.

I didn't so much like the format, letter to husband, journal entry. I would have liked a dialogue with self - struggling with some of the issues vs. the letters to husband. Most of us struggle, I don't always think all of us reveal as much to our spouse. Certainly in a letter...more

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Jan 23, 2008 Sara rated it 4 of 5 stars

This book gave me a lot to think about. It was different, because it is just a woman writing in her journal and writing to her husband, but it was very thought provoking. This novel made me think about my life now and in the future.

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May 16, 2010 Cheryl rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2010-library-books

I love Elizabeth Berg's books, and this one has to be my favorite of her books. I started this last night and finished it this morning. Nan is a 50 year old woman who writes a note to her husband and takes off on a journey to find herself. She just drives along and talks to people and tries to remember what it is in life that she really wants and likes.

Here are some of my favorite parts of the book:

p. 31 "And I began to cry because I had this thought about people, that they do this all the time...more I love Elizabeth Berg's books, and this one has to be my favorite of her books. I started this last night and finished it this morning. Nan is a 50 year old woman who writes a note to her husband and takes off on a journey to find herself. She just drives along and talks to people and tries to remember what it is in life that she really wants and likes.

Here are some of my favorite parts of the book:

p. 31 "And I began to cry because I had this thought about people, that they do this all the time, deny the wise voice inside them telling them the right thing to do because it is different.

p. 35 "Right", I said, and thought, how can it be that two strangers are exchanging such intimate things? Well, most women are full to the brim, that's all. That's what I think. I think we are most of us ready to explode, espcecially when our children are small and we are so weary with the demands for love and attention and the kind of service that makes you feel you should be wearing a uniform with "Mommy" embroidered over the left breast, over the heart."

p.114 " I wanted to get something special, a real treat, something I liked to cook and liked even more to eat, but everything I picked up, I put back. Finally I leaned against the dairy case and thought, well, come on, Nancy, what do YOU really like? And then I thought, my God, I don't know. I've forgotten.

It is so true that after you get married and have kids, you lose who you are and what you like. You are so used to doing what everyone else wants that you forget what you like and suppress your feelings to make everyone else happy.

I think every woman should be able to go on a journey like this, but not necessarily wait until 50 until everything builds up so much that you feel like exploding.

I know that I used to love to read, and thanks to Staci I have gotten heavy into reading again and it really love it. I also love music. I kind of let that go to the wayside. I was lucky enough to get free tickets to go see Third Eye Blind. Joshua James was the opening band who I had never heard of before. Now I just love Third Eye Blind and Joshua James and I have been wearing their t-shirts and listening to their music all the time, and it makes me happy. I am glad I have part of myself back again. Also, I am so happy I have a hairsylist that gave me such a cool hairstyle. My husband thinks it's weird, but I don't care. I love it and it's more me than any style I have ever had. It's different and it's good to be different.(less)

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Nov 01, 2012 Camille rated it 1 of 5 stars

This is the first book of Elizabeth Berg's that I was truly disapointed in. I have absolutely adored everything thing else of hers that I have read but this character was irritating. Nan is a spoiled, self centered woman with nothing better to do than spend way too much time feeling sorry for herself. Nan's problem?? She's 50. At 50 yrs old, she doesn't have to work, can spend hundreds of $$ on cosmetics that she promptly throws in the trash, her husband can afford to retire at any time, she has...more

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May 26, 2009 Michael marked it as to-read

On 5/26/2009 Augusten Burroughs wrote:
"The last book I am going to suggest has nothing to do with childhood, so at first it may seem an odd choice. But if childhood is the single time in life when it seemed our nerves were new and we could feel life itself against our skin and there was no dividing the day into segments, where there was only one long "right now" — then The Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg is exactly the book to take you back. A novel about a woman in her 50s who runs away from...more

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About Elizabeth Berg

Elizabeth Berg is the New York Times bestselling author of many novels, including We Are All Welcome Here, The Year of Pleasures, The Art of Mending, Say When, True to Form, Never Change, and Open House, which was an Oprah’s Book Club selection in 2000. Durable Goods and Joy School were selected as ALA Best Books of the Year, and Talk Before Sleep was short-listed for the ABBY Award in 1996. The w...more

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“Well, most women are full to the brim, that's all...We are, most of us, ready to explode, especially when our children are small and we are so weary with the demands for love and attention and the kind of service that makes you feel you should be wearing a uniform with "Mommy" embroidered over the left breast, over the heart...If a stranger had come up to me and said, "Do you want to talk about it? I have time to listen," I think I might have burst into tears at the relief of it.” — 23 people liked it

“I have wanted you to see out of my eyes so many times.” — 8 people liked it

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