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Carpe Jugulum. Хватай за горло! (Discworld #23)

4.12  ·  Rating Details ·  40,827 Ratings  ·  895 Reviews
Они - вампиры, и это многое объясняет. Да, они спят в гробах, да, они питаются кровью, однако… все не так просто. Долой заскорузлые предания и предрассудки! Новый мир - новые повадки! Закаляйся святой водой! Религиозные символы - всего лишь картинки и предметы нательного украшения! Чеснок? Обычная приправа! Смело гляди в глаза наступающему дню! Они - новые вампиры. Они буд ...more
Published (first published 1998)
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Lyn
Apr 01, 2017 Lyn rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Go for the throat!

That may not be the exact translation for Carpe Jugulum, the title to Terry Pratchett’s 1998 Discworld novel (and 23rd in the series) but it describes Pratchett’s approach to a searing roast of a parody for vampire lit.

Published seven years before Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight books, this does not make fun of that vampire interpretation, but Sir Terry does poke good fun at all things vampire when a family of the undead come down out of Uberwald and subtly invades Lancre. But the w
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Melki
Death reached down and took a handful of sand. He held it up, and let it slip through his fingers.
CHOOSE, he said. YOU ARE GOOD AT CHOOSING, I BELIEVE.
"Is there any advice you could be givin' me?" said Granny.
CHOOSE RIGHT.


This one is all about choices: life or death, justice or mercy, to obey blindly or to fight back...

Vampires have taken over Lancre, and it's up to the witches and a befuddled priest to kick some bat!

Oh, my, how I loved this book! From Magrat's insistence on taking EVERYTHING fo
...more
Steven Harbin
Pratchett satirizes vampire myth and legend in this Discworld novel. Actually one of the grimmer Discworld novels I've read. One of the Witches of Lancre sub set of the series, with all my favorite characters from those books, Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, her cat Greebo, Magrat, Agnes-Perdita all make their appearance. I recommend this one highly, but I think you need to have read the other "Witch" novels first, that would be Equal Rites,Wyrd Sisters, Witches Abroad, Lords and Ladies, and Maske ...more
Kristen
May 16, 2008 Kristen rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: anyone looking for something funny
Shelves: comedy
The reviews here are quite varied on this book, they are all obviously written by Pratchett fans however one of the problems with being a Pratchett fan is that he has SO many novels that you are bound to find a few that aren’t your taste. I personally loved this book. My favorite of Pratchett’s creations include the Witches and the Guards series.

An attempt at a short summary:
The King of Lancre and his new wife the former Witch Margrat have their first child, and are holding the Christening cerem
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YouKneeK
Jan 03, 2017 YouKneeK rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Carpe Jugulum is the sixth and final book in the Witches subseries of Discworld. This has been my favorite Discworld subseries, mainly because Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg have been so much fun, so I’ll miss it. This is also the first subseries I’ve completed, unless you count Ancient Civilizations which consists of two loosely-related books grouped under that heading in The Discworld Reading Order Guide.

The title is a pretty good hint about the story: Carpe Jugulum, seize the throat. I’ll le
...more
Carolyn
Mar 20, 2015 Carolyn rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy

Another wild tale from Discworld. This one involves the witches, Granny, Nanny, Magrat and Agnes as well as a host of vampires, an insipid priest of Om, masses of wild little blue men and an angry Igor.

Magrat, now married to her handsome prince, the King of Lancre is now a mother and he has invited all and sundry, including the vampires to the castle for the christening. Once invited the vampires decide the castle is rather nice and start moving in their coffins.

As usual, lots of fun and witty
...more
David Sarkies
This one's a bit batty
29 July 2016 - Frankfurt

I don't know what it is with these Terry Pratchet novels but I found it really hard to get into this one. Okay, while I do find vampire stories rather boring, and cliched, this is Pratchett, and he always seems to be able to add some new twists to the tired old stories that many of us shy away from. Okay, maybe it was because I started reading it on a plane, and continued reading it on a plane, and finished it off in Frankfurt while I was still suff
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D.L. Morrese
May 19, 2011 D.L. Morrese rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I just finished re-re-re...reading this one. It's a pleasure each time. I am writing this on 18 March 2015. The incomparable Terry Pratchett died on the 12th. The news hit me much harder than I expected it would. I have spent a considerable amount of time in the Discworld Universe over the years. I kind of felt I knew Terry at some personal level after that, even though we never met. He was like a friend, a mentor, a philosophical relative...

Anyway, I needed some kind of catharsis after the sad
...more
Char
Mar 30, 2015 Char marked it as dreaded-dnf  ·  review of another edition
I'm on the verge of a reading slump and just can't find anything that interests me.

I'm turning to my old familiar stand-by: short stories. I hope it works.

DNF-No Rating.
Siria
Yes, another Pratchett. I'm on a re-reading kick at the moment. Which is probably a mistake since my stack of books to be read next to my bed is currently in the region of 67. But Pratchett is one of my comfort reads, so I don't feel like apologising to myself too much.

Carpe Jugulum is one of my favourites of the series. The writing and the dialogue are as sharp as ever; the characterisation of the witches is spot on; and the humour is just the right mix of wryly witty and really, really bad pun
...more
Johara Almogbel
Apr 28, 2016 Johara Almogbel rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: in-the-library
I have no idea how Terry Pratchett isn't more famous than JK Rowling. I love Harry Potter but that was one series that ended up getting screwed in the end while Pratchett wrote loads of books that never ever waver in quality and narrative.

Also, he happens to be one of the fairest people in character invention. Strong female heros who aren't pretty or thin and quirky and perfect? Yes please. Yes.
Chris
Like this book because,

1. Fat girls rule. Pratchett writes a real fat girl.

2. Vampires with bite!
Tfitoby
May 16, 2011 Tfitoby rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantastical, funny
Between injuries and work and winter this took me forever to listen to whilst training, no review could possibly be valid after such a disjointed experience. Needless to say that I am fatter and less fit than when I started but I don't think that can possibly be the fault of five witches, an Omnian preacher, and a vampire invasion fleet. Or the potentialiality that this is the first book when Terry Pratchett knew about the disease that would wreck his brain, after reading him put the following w ...more
John
Jan 22, 2013 John rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: sf, humor
Witches and vampires and priests, oh my! It's easy for me, when I'm not reading Pratchett at the moment, to remember how much silliness his books contain, but forget what great storytelling is in there too. But boy, when I'm reading it I sure remember.

This is a grand tale about some witches that live in a small kingdom on the rim of the Discworld, one of whom has married its progressive, modern king, and had a baby who's due for a christening. The king, wanting to expand the scope of his kingdom
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Spigana
Nevarētu teikt, ka šī ir labākā Diskzemes grāmata, bet stāsta noslēgums un skatījums uz reliģiju bija lielisks.
pax
Now this was unexpectedly one of my favorites of the whole Discworld so far!

Below my two perhaps favorite citations from this one:

She'd changed as soon as the others had entered. Before, she'd been bowed and tired. Now she was standing tall and haughty, supported by a scaffolding of pride.

*********

'It's not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of grey.'

'Nope.'

'Pardon?'

'There's no greys, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And
...more
Riannon
Mar 17, 2008 Riannon rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Terry Pratchett is hilarious, his prose is excellent, and to top it off, he's a prolific author, so if you're like me and always running out of reading material, reading everything he's written should keep you busy for a while.
This particular comedy is (as you may be able to discern from the title) about vampires. Vampires and a girl named Agnes Nitt, who struggles sometimes to suppress her alternate personality, Perdita. To paraphrase a quote from Pratchett, "Inside every fat girl is a thin gi
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হাঁটুপানির জলদস্যু
বিমানযাতরার সঙগে বইপাঠের তুলনা করলে বলা যায়, সব বইয়েরই একটি নিজসব উৎগমনকাল আছে। কিছু বিমান যেমন মাটিতে সবলপ দূরতব চলার পর আকাশে ভেসে ওঠে, কিছু বই তেমন কয়েক পাতা পড়ার পরই ডানা মেলে। কারপে জুগুলাম সেরকম বই নয়। ৫১% পড়ে শেষ করার পর এর কাহিনী আমার চোখে আচমকা মাটি ছাড়লো।

পরযাচেটের মুনশিয়ানার কথা বলতে বলতে কলানত হয়ে যাই। তারপরও পড়ার মাঝে থমকে যেতে হয়, যখন গলপে এক শীত আর ঝড়ের রাতে এক বৃদধ ডাকিনীকে আগুয়ান মৃতযুদূতের হাত থেকে রকষার জনযে পকেট থেকে পবিতর গরনথ বের করে তাতে আগুন ধরায় এক তরুণ যাজক। এই দৃশযটির ক
...more
Fiona
Jan 18, 2012 Fiona rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Well, this is an interesting conundrum - I would call this a 4* book overall, but it's not one of Pratchett's best, I'd say it's a 3* Pratchett. Benefit of the doubt it is, then. I'm in an optimistic mood.

So. He doesn't like organised religion much, does he? In 'Carpe Jugulum', vampires invade Lancre, and Granny Weatherwax spends a long time in a cave being serious. This is bad, or at least for the vampires, but good mainly because it gives Nanny Ogg a lot of page time, and I absolutely adore Na
...more
Kurtbg
There's something about the stories involving the Witches from the town of Lancre that seems to bring out the best in Terry's storytelling. The crone, the matron and the maiden find their trifecta in a state of musical chairs as Vampire are invited to Lancre by a very PC king. Well, vampires only go where invited so this doesn't look very promising for the yet-to-be-undead or the meal-to-be-had-daily. The crone, Granny Weatherwax, takes to the mountains feeling unappreciated by the king and outm ...more
Sam
Aug 22, 2015 Sam rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humour, fantasy
This is probably now one of my favourite Discworld novels, not only does it have my three favourite witches including the legend that is Granny Weatherwax but it is also jam packed with vampires of makes and models from the old style garlic hating kind to the more modern not bothered by anything kind. And of course they are intent on taking over whatever part of Discworld they can get their hands on. And in steps Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg and Young Agnes to stop them the only way they know ho ...more
Evgeni Kirilov
Jul 30, 2015 Evgeni Kirilov rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I was just a little bit worried during the first few pages, this book didn't feel as strong as the previous ones in the Witches series there, but it picked itself up quickly and stayed good. It wasn't as good as some of the other ones (Maskerade and Lords and Ladies both felt stronger to me, though not by much), but it was definitely good. The one area where it absolutely excelled, however, was its insight in religion and, to a lesser extent, human nature. Religion mostly though.
4cats
Mar 22, 2015 4cats rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: own
The vampires or should I say vampyres of the Uberwald are on the move, who can save Lancre, where is Granny Weatherwax, can Nanny Ogg lead the witches? Read and discover or rediscover the wonder that is Discworld. Oh and I must say the Igor's appear, geniuth! Thath all I can thay!
Kingfan30
Apr 27, 2017 Kingfan30 rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I picked this up needing something with a bit of humour right now and was delighted to find that this next one was about the witches (yes I'm reading them in order!), although I'm sad to see in someone else's review that it is the last one in the Discworld series of them, they really are my favourites. So witches vs vampires (sorry vampyres - they are trying to be more modern), who's going to win? Throw in a priest and the new characters of the Nac Mac Feegle and you've got a story with good hum ...more
Maja
May 22, 2017 Maja rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: amazing-books
As I expected this book was amazing. I really enjoyed reading it. Brilliant story with lot of good humor and great metaphors for a real life situation. To the last pages you can't guess how will everything end.
Gowri N.
Apr 18, 2017 Gowri N. rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Sheer brilliance! That's all one can legitimately say about a Pratchett and that's all one needs to say. :)
Sarah Taleweaver
Plotwise, it started off a bit eh, but quickly improved. Character-wise, well, I do enjoy Granny Weatherwax and Magrat and Nanny Ogg and even Agnes, and the vampires (I'm sorry; vampyres) were quite interesting. All in all, it might be one of my favorites in this sub-series.

But the best part of Carpe Jugulum is this: that, despite the fact that a fair portion of the book is spent criticizing Christianity (via Omnianism), Mr. Pratchett has some strikingly wise words about certain tenets of that r
...more
Matt
Dec 03, 2013 Matt rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fantasy, humor, 2016-reads
Once again the kingdom of Lancre is in a tough spot and it’s up to Granny, Nanny, and Agnes to face-off with an enemy whose motto is Carpe Jugulum. In the 23rd installment, sixth in the Witches subseries, of Terry Pratchett’s fantasy-humor series sees vampires, sorry vampyrs, from the country of Uberwald take center stage as they are invited to invade Lancre only to get invaded back.

Lancre is celebrating the birth of Princess Esmerelda Margaret, her father has invited everyone to join the celebr
...more
Melissa McShane
Re-read 5/16/15, this time aloud to the family.

This is one of my favorite Discworld novels for two reasons. One is that it's about vampires (sorry, vampyres) who are trying to break free of old stereotypes--they're training themselves not to be disturbed by holy water and crosses, learning to drink wine as well as blood, etc. And that thing about lurking around in castles and hunting their prey? So fifteen minutes ago. But they still need blood, and their brave new world includes willing victims
...more
Carly
Dec 12, 2011 Carly rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
**edited 12/15/13

It never occurred to me before, but I guess Carpe Jugulum is basically Twilight, but with a slightly more rational cast of characters and a little de-Sueing of the protagonist. As Pratchett proves, even the smallest touch of reality to that starry-eyed plot leads to a radically different outcome.

Agnes Nitt, apprentice witch, is our heroine. Unlike Bella Swan, Agnes isn't the "oh-look-at-me-I-have-low-self-esteem-in-an-apparently-adorable-and-captivating-way-and-I'm-actually-drop
...more
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1654
Sir Terry Pratchett sold his first story when he was thirteen, which earned him enough money to buy a second-hand typewriter. His first novel, a humorous fantasy entitled The Carpet People, appeared in 1971 from the publisher Colin Smythe.

Terry worked for many years as a journalist and press officer, writing in his spare time and publishing a number of novels, including his first Discworld novel,
...more
More about Terry Pratchett...

Other Books in the Series

Discworld (1 - 10 of 41 books)
  • The Color of Magic (Discworld, #1; Rincewind #1)
  • The Light Fantastic (Discworld, #2; Rincewind #2)
  • Equal Rites (Discworld, #3; Witches #1)
  • Mort (Discworld, #4; Death, #1)
  • Sourcery (Discworld, #5; Rincewind #3)
  • Wyrd Sisters (Discworld, #6; Witches #2)
  • Pyramids (Discworld, #7)
  • Guards! Guards! (Discworld, #8; City Watch #1)
  • Eric (Discworld, #9; Rincewind #4)
  • Moving Pictures (Discworld, #10; Industrial Revolution, #1)

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“And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things.” 234 likes
“Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn’t do good for people, she did right by them.” 86 likes
More quotes…