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66th out of 82 books
—
7 voters
You're Not You
College student Bec is dangerously adrift. Self-conscious and increasingly uncertain about her long-term plans, she's studying a major that no longer interests her and is caught up in a bewildering affair with a married professor. In an impulsive attempt to redeem herself, she answers a want ad seeking a caregiver.
What she finds is a wealthy, cultivated woman in her midthi...more
What she finds is a wealthy, cultivated woman in her midthi...more
Hardcover, 288 pages
Published
May 30th 2006
by Thomas Dunne Books
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I so desperately wanted to like this novel. The synopsis on the back hinted at a tragedy turned around through the beautiful exploration of the senses. That is certainly not what the story delivered. I expected Kate to be a better-developed character with a more profound lesson to teach. I admit that she did change Bec's life but no more than any other employer or boss. I also felt that Bec's attitude and behavior towards the end of the story (I won't give away too much information) was a bit an...more
May 22, 2011
Melissa Crytzer Fry
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
wip-comps
Michelle Wildgen’s YOU’RE NOT YOU is the perfect book for readers who like to tackle novels with thought-provoking, grey-area topics. Warning: this is not a light read, as it addresses terminal, progressive illness and how the afflicted and the spouse must deal with the stark realities forced upon them. The author has created so much more than that, though – offering humor, strength and the power of choice to her strong female characters.
At the heart of this book is Bec, an ambivalent college wo...more
At the heart of this book is Bec, an ambivalent college wo...more
This book was a break from my normal reading as of late. I had finished some heavier and creepier stuff and decided to fall into something a little less tense, something effortless.
This book fit the bill. I finished it over the course of one night and day. It so closely walks that chick-lit vs fiction line... But I feel its got more substance than your run of the mill chick-lit novels do.
The main character Bec is a going-nowhere, job-hopping, party girl in college, who is sleeping with a marri...more
This book fit the bill. I finished it over the course of one night and day. It so closely walks that chick-lit vs fiction line... But I feel its got more substance than your run of the mill chick-lit novels do.
The main character Bec is a going-nowhere, job-hopping, party girl in college, who is sleeping with a marri...more
1 like · like · see review
YOU'RE NOT YOU by Michelle Wildgen - St. Martin's Press - 0-312-35229-8 - 274pps - $23.95 (paperback due in August from Picador Press - 0-312-36952-2- $14.00)
Wildgen masters her first novel with the tightest story I've read in years. As strippingly honest as Ethan Hawke with the simple elegance of Kent Haruf and a touch of Jennifer Weiner's wit. No padding, no redundancies, just impeccably good writing with incredible insight into the life of a Lou Gehrig's victim. With respect and empathy, Wi...more
Wildgen masters her first novel with the tightest story I've read in years. As strippingly honest as Ethan Hawke with the simple elegance of Kent Haruf and a touch of Jennifer Weiner's wit. No padding, no redundancies, just impeccably good writing with incredible insight into the life of a Lou Gehrig's victim. With respect and empathy, Wi...more
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MY TAKE:
Sad, engrossing, vivid, sensual, exhilarating and beautiful. A beautifully written novel, smooth and frank – a complex story about honesty. “Honesty becomes their touchstone: they may find humor in the most devastating moments, but they won’t pretend to believe in silver linings that don’t exist.” The writing is deeply sensual, full of descriptions of smells, tastes and physical sensation, with the emphasis on cooking and eating – taking in to sustain and fulfill. “It was better to give...more
Sad, engrossing, vivid, sensual, exhilarating and beautiful. A beautifully written novel, smooth and frank – a complex story about honesty. “Honesty becomes their touchstone: they may find humor in the most devastating moments, but they won’t pretend to believe in silver linings that don’t exist.” The writing is deeply sensual, full of descriptions of smells, tastes and physical sensation, with the emphasis on cooking and eating – taking in to sustain and fulfill. “It was better to give...more
Bec, a college student, is adrift; she hates her marketing major and is a dead-end relationship with a married man. Impulsively she answers an ad to be a caregiver to Kate, a woman with ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease.) Kate, who is married to Evan, is young (mid-thirties,) wealthy, cultured, and was an accomplished chef. She is also warm, caring and, in spite of her almost complete paralysis, maintains her zest for life (and a wonderfully dark sense of humor.).
Bec becomes part of Kate and Evan's fam...more
Bec becomes part of Kate and Evan's fam...more
"You're Not You" was a very detailed, intricate story between a young, reckless 21-year old girl who falls into the role of caregiver to a 30-something woman who is dealing with ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease).
Bec, the college party girl, has a tangled life. She is no longer close to her parents (since she moved out to college), she is happily involved with a married college professor (luckily, not HERS), and doesn't mind working at a deadend waitressing job (she doesn't typically stay in one job fo...more
Bec, the college party girl, has a tangled life. She is no longer close to her parents (since she moved out to college), she is happily involved with a married college professor (luckily, not HERS), and doesn't mind working at a deadend waitressing job (she doesn't typically stay in one job fo...more
As you can see,I read this book long after it won a few awards for one of the best books of 2006. I picked it up expecting it to be an interesting character study yet it turned out to be much more than that. I admire the way Wildgen presents the reader with several controversial points yet doesn't preach or attempt to convert with her own opinions. We are left to decide what we feel is the right course. Not only that, each character was presented in all their humanness--flaws and all--with no a...more
Okay, I'm writing a more thorough review of this book b/c I did a little search on others' thoughts and actually found some people giving this book one star. That's just ridiculous. Maybe the subject matter isn't for everyone - it's about the relationship between a college student and the thirtysomething woman suffering from ALS that she cares for - but to imply in any way that this book is not extraordinarily crafted and beautifully written is just absurd. I read a LOT of books, and I'm not abo...more
This story of a young college student becoming the caregiver for a person with ALS is smart and touching and a pretty decent representation of living with Lou Gehrig's Disease. Bec starts taking care of Kate, who has ALS, after responding to an ad. There she learns not only about the disease and seeing a person as more than just their illness, but also learns lessons for herself through the ups and downs of Kate's marriage to her husband Evan.
Bec grows up by learning what she can and cannot do,...more
Bec grows up by learning what she can and cannot do,...more
After reading A Gate At The Stairs, which was set in a college town obviously modelled on Madison, it was very strange and serendipitous to start reading You're Not You, which is set in the real Madison, Bascom Hill and all. I don't konw how You're Not You made it on to my list, but I'm thrilled that it did. It's the college-girl-coming-of-age novel that Lorrie Moore should have wanted to write -- no crazy, timely terrorists or hipster lingo, just an original, thoughtful story of a student growi...more
This book about a college student who cares for a woman with Lou Gehrig's disease is not altogether realistic, but is nonetheless very touching in parts. Given that this is Wildgen's first novel, I think she shows a lot of promise, but it's not fully realized here.
I am not sure what to say. I am not sure I liked it, but I didn't dislike it.
The main character, Becca, begins to do part-time home care for a woman, Kate, with ALS. As time goes on, Kate and her husband divorce and before you know it, Becca is living with her.
In the book, we see Becca learning from Kate, but I also saw Becca losing much of herself to Kate. The title of the book comes from the fact that Becca often has to translate what Kate is saying to other people. Becca is not herself in th...more
The main character, Becca, begins to do part-time home care for a woman, Kate, with ALS. As time goes on, Kate and her husband divorce and before you know it, Becca is living with her.
In the book, we see Becca learning from Kate, but I also saw Becca losing much of herself to Kate. The title of the book comes from the fact that Becca often has to translate what Kate is saying to other people. Becca is not herself in th...more
At first I thought that Bec was an unrealistically aware protagonist, and then I started to think that she was someone who was just traveling down the river of life in a free fall. She could perceive what was happening in great detail, but she just kept going with the tide, with whichever current was the strongest. She rarely demonstrated fear -- even fear of things that she observed would/could harm her. She then seemed taken aback by the use and abuse, and at times, unprotected. This is a very...more
I loved this book! It was developed from a short story she'd written and became a novel when she was part of a writers workshop project. She has written one other novel. This is a book about a compassionate college student who takes on a summer job as a care giver for a young woman with ALS. They become more than caregiver and patient and develop a close friendship. The disease progresses and it becomes harder and harder for the caregiver who has become her very good friend. The ending is a shoc...more
A college student becomes a care-taker for a woman suffering from ALS: she learns about the disease, the emotional consequences as well as the physical problems, and deals with her own inability to find herself. In the process of the novel, Bec learns a great deal about herself and the world and finds that she dislikes school because she has chosen the wrong major; through her "patient's" guidance, she finally looks forward to a happy future doing what she loves. In the process of giving care, y...more
When I first read the summary of the book on the inner flap, I thought the book was going to be interesting. I expected deep, internal thinking and tragic self-discovery, but I guess this book wasn't what I was looking for since it didn't live up to either. It was hard for me to read through the first chapter alone. The author's writing style isn't bad, but the topic itself seems boring and uneventful. I just thought that there would be a lot more depth, but I think the author just skims the sur...more
A honest read that will evoke complex feelings, pain, sadness and happiness. This is the story of a naive young caregiver and her patient, a strong independent woman with Lou Gehrig's disease. The relationship between these two women far outweighs any of the other relationships of the book. We see how the relationship grows. How the relationship helps Bec inadvertently find her calling in life and how the relationship allows Kate to have the courage and ability to stay true to her belief system...more
This book is obviously written by a foodie-though I'm not sure what food has to do with a woman's dying, except as a literary vehicle for loss...I didn't really like this book, in fact almost quit reading it as it seemed too unrealistic that a flaky college student could morph so smoothly and quickly into an "adult" in a SHORT period of time, as well as become a gourmet cook. The descriptions of the life of a person with ALS were stark, it is not a good way to die. Foodie writing is usually fun,...more
When I ordered this book online, from a used bookstore, they sent me an autographed copy. Instead of being excited I immediately thought this must not be any good if they're just handing out books, with autographs, for $2.00. But I soon found out I couldn't be more wrong!
It must have been good coming into this with no expectations because I was completely blown away by this story. You have a college student who can do anything in life, if she just apply herself, meeting a woman who knows exactly...more
It must have been good coming into this with no expectations because I was completely blown away by this story. You have a college student who can do anything in life, if she just apply herself, meeting a woman who knows exactly...more
When Bec, a 21-old Madison, Wisconsin college student decides to change her part-time job from bartending at a local greasy spoon restaurant she has no idea how much her life will change or how much her charge will influence her.
Sophisticated 36-year-old Kate Norris has had ALS aka amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or Lou Gehrig’s disease for two years. Happily married she to husband Evan, she is wheelchair-bound and literally unable to do anything for herself. Her speech is even getting so bad that...more
Full disclosure: Michelle was my workshop leader at Tin House.
I loved this book. The writing is simultaneously spare and lush, something that I love but am not sure how one achieves this. I suppose it's word choice. I noted this in Michelle's essays on food that I had read previously, and this book also veers into fantastic images of farmers' markets and kitchens.
A short summary makes this book sound like "a Lifetime special movie" (as Michelle herself told me at one point). A college student be...more
I loved this book. The writing is simultaneously spare and lush, something that I love but am not sure how one achieves this. I suppose it's word choice. I noted this in Michelle's essays on food that I had read previously, and this book also veers into fantastic images of farmers' markets and kitchens.
A short summary makes this book sound like "a Lifetime special movie" (as Michelle herself told me at one point). A college student be...more
1 like · like · see review
Caretaking and Cooking: Choices of a College Coed
This story drew me in at once because of the strong voice and the good writing. It clearly establishes a sense of time and place (modern day Madison, Wisconsin) and offers the "promise" of an intimate look at daily life during the last stages of ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) from the perspective of a personal caregiver. While we learn to understand the struggles of the patient, Kate, this is more about the struggles of a college student known as "Bec...more
This story drew me in at once because of the strong voice and the good writing. It clearly establishes a sense of time and place (modern day Madison, Wisconsin) and offers the "promise" of an intimate look at daily life during the last stages of ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) from the perspective of a personal caregiver. While we learn to understand the struggles of the patient, Kate, this is more about the struggles of a college student known as "Bec...more
First book read on my new Kindle!
Very moving account of a young woman acting acting as caretaker for an ALS sufferer. This book forced me to ponder some very difficult ideas, the most difficult (for me personally) being the idea of what exactly constitutes marriage and why it is a union that is held to such a high standard. Others prob wouldn't get that as a main theme here, but it is something that I have questioned a lot esp recently and this story really hit a nerve in that department.
Very moving account of a young woman acting acting as caretaker for an ALS sufferer. This book forced me to ponder some very difficult ideas, the most difficult (for me personally) being the idea of what exactly constitutes marriage and why it is a union that is held to such a high standard. Others prob wouldn't get that as a main theme here, but it is something that I have questioned a lot esp recently and this story really hit a nerve in that department.
This is the book that Lorrie Moore MEANT to write when she wrote A Gate at the Stairs. It is very much like Moore's book--a female college student unsure of where she's going in life, needing a job to get through school, ultimately taking a caretaking job for a couple, then becoming embroiled in their lives, and finally breaking away and learning something in the process. BUT, Wildgen somehow does it so much better. Do yourself a favor: skip A Gate at the Stairs, but read You're Not You.
I really, really enjoyed this book - if you can call it that when a book deals with the devastation caused by ALS. This story could so easily have become mawkish and over sentimental, but the author handles it with great insight and poignancy. Her two main characters, Bec and Kate, are well drawn and believable - I felt that I was reading but also listening to a real dialog between two people. Loved this book - and on reflection probably should have given it 5 stars not 4!
Such an an interesting story... a married lady with lou gehrig's disease requires a caretaker... Bec, college student fulfills taht role. In the process she learns what love is, and what it is not... thankfully that lesson allows her to break-off with the married professor she's been enthralled with.
The author beautifully raises question about quality of life and whether others have the right to make life decisions for someone incapacitated by disease.
The author beautifully raises question about quality of life and whether others have the right to make life decisions for someone incapacitated by disease.
Jul 01, 2009
Jen
rated it
2 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
read-2009,
regular-fiction
I wanted to like this book, especially after reading the back cover. The story sounded to be a good one, but maybe its better as a short story, not as a novel. I wish the author had gone a bit more in depth into ALS. The only thing I remember being very descriptive were the scenes involving food. That wasn't what I had wanted to take away from reading this book. I also found Bec's reaction towards the end to be too drawn out and I wanted to skip over paragraphs just to get to the end.
Meh.
Meh.
Definitely a good read. The main characters Kate and Bec are so incredibly well drawn it was easy to stay with this story stopping only when necessary (at times life does intrude on my reading time.) It should be noted that this book deals quite frankly with the sexuality of both characters but it is handled gracefully and makes a valid point: those ill or disabled have desires like everybody else. A thought-provoking and satisfying novel.
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Nov 11, 2007 02:16pm