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Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?: Trusting God with a Hope Deferred
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Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?: Trusting God with a Hope Deferred

4.08 of 5 stars 4.08  ·  rating details  ·  145 ratings  ·  28 reviews
Through personal anecdotes and careful examination of Scripture, Carolyn McCulley challenges single women to regard their singleness not as a burden, but as a gift from God that allows them to perform a unique role in the body of Christ.
Paperback, 224 pages
Published August 1st 2004 by Crossway (first published 2004)
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It's hard for me to be objective about this book.

In summary, I found it fuzzy and unsatisfying.

The author acknowledges briefly that there is legitimate pain in being single and wanting marriage, but quickly moves on to the idea that much of that pain is actually that of pride, the feeling of unacknowledged worthiness.

Surely none of us are free from pride. Is that a good reason to sweep our questions under the rug?

Here's the question: "What do I do with my pain?"

It's not right to reply to that by
Another Pollyanna book that tries to erroneously portray the consequences of human sin as the will of God. This book deals with the problem of the pain and loneliness of single life as effectively as a cork cures diarrhea, makeup removes a skin cancer, or a narcotic alleviates grief. The biggest problem of this well-intentioned author is that her basic premise is based on error. The author states that "the Bible calls singleness a "gift." Not so, that is just one skewed interpretation of Paul's ...more
This is hands-down the best Christian single woman book I've ever read. I heard the author speaking on the radio and knew right away that I wanted to read her book. She doesn't talk about how to get a husband or how to barely tolerate your sad life until God gives you a man - she tells you the hard truth that being sorry for yourself is not OK, that God has been indescribably generous to you, and then chapter by chapter, she gently and kindly shows you how to live a thankful, meaningful life whe ...more
I wasn't sure what to expect from this book, but the title was interesting enough to get me to read it. I'm glad I did, I was pleasantly surprised. For one, I appreciated that the author is herself a single woman of 40, not a married woman or a younger single, but a mature single woman with wisdom and experience worth sharing. I also appreciated that she used Proverbs 31 as a guide. So often within the church Proverbs 31 is used only as a guide for wives and mothers, when really it is a useful g ...more
Suzanna Ker
Mmmm praise God for the grace given to me through this book. McCulley doesn't regurgitate empty platitudes for single women. She challenges our hearts; she goes straight to Scripture. She doesn't only tell us ways we can serve God in our singleness; she relates to but also challenges our bitter thoughts and our self-pity. Some good questions she addresses: Where do you find your joy? What ultimately completes you?

-Yes, having a husband would be lovely, but there is One who is so
Finally! I don't think it has ever taken me this long to finish a book before! While I think McCulley does an excellent job in the first portion of the book explaining how being single is a 'gift', it quickly became evident that she holds MUCH more conservative view on what a Christian woman should look like. She walks through the qualities of a Probers 31 woman but really failed to glean any new information than what I think an average reader might get. Beyond that, she gives a commentary and a ...more
There are a few decent principles in this book, but overall, I found the content to be full of extra-biblical 'advice' that really may only be helpful in specific contexts. The author is quite open about her personal struggles and frustrations with her own views of relationships as well as those that are espoused by her church community or well-intentioned friends. The author's candor and wit are evident throughout each chapter which makes the book an easy read. However, the chapters based on Pr ...more
Michelle Bodle
While I don't agree with all of the theology in this book I applaud the fact it was finally written as this is a question I have struggled with for some time!
I devoured this book in a few hours. I didn't hate or love it, and now, a few days later, I'm having trouble recalling what I learned. While there were some funny and applicable parts, like the passage about "dating in your mind," I didn't find a lot new or a lot that inspired me to live differently. I really wished that there had been a few more examples, and (I know I'm a terrible person) a little bit less scripture. I thought that the book was lessened by its dependence on quotations from the ...more
Dec 07, 2009 Jaclynn rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: holly
Shelves: read-in-2009
I would heartily recommend this book to any single woman, young or old simply for the encouragement alone that it contains. Carolyn draws off of much personal experience, as a 40-something single woman and also the model of the Proverbs 31 woman in the topics she discusses. She acknowledges the state of singlehood with fresh honesty, but also candidly suggests action, not a sit-and-cry-about-it approach. Each chapter ends with a Further Study section with helpful book and article suggestion.
The Gatekeeper
Sep 28, 2008 The Gatekeeper rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: all single women and anyone who knows any
Recommended to The Gatekeeper by: my mom
I felt a little weird starting this book, considering the title and the fact that I'm not even the legal age to be married yet. :) But the book really addresses issues that apply to all singles, even young ones. I found it to be very helpful and well-written, and the message of trusting God is one that always applies to my life, especially in this season of it.
Rachel Ramm
Great book on Proverbs 31 for the single woman. Honestly, the title of the book threw me off a bit -- it's not about "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" at all, or the whole courtship question, but is strictly addressing singleness itself. I loved the author's frank, down-to-earth voice, and how personal she was with different struggles. I was challenged and encouraged.
Apr 15, 2012 Rosa rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: any female who is supossed to finish their schooling before marriage.
I looked this book up on this book is really good to read if God doesn't want you to be married unless you finish up schooling first. Very insightful and easy to understand.
I have read most of the chapters to this book.

It is good if you are meant to be college bound rather then enter the workforce and pray for a marriage relationship.
Sarah Fowler
Encouraging and convicting. Restored my excitement and gratitude for my singleness. Really can't recommend this enough to single women (of any age) or married women who would like to encourage single friends. Wish I could buy multiple copies to give away!
A great book to read over again, especially for older single women. The author uses the Proverbs 31 woman to point out how we can be serving and living for God and not just waiting to get married.
Randy Alcorn
Carolyn McCulley has written a remarkable book, biblically-saturated and Christ-exalting. Her words are wise, encouraging, personal and much-needed. I highly recommend Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye?
Great christian book that talks about being single and how to make the best of it. also provides a host of reference books to read after each chapter.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who does counseling of women, especially single women. I learned a lot from it even though I'm married.
Rose Lee
I love how it takes you through Proverbs 31...verse by verse.
Well done. Has great further study readings at the end of each chapter.
I've been looking forward to reading this for almost 6 months. I'm sure Carolyn McCulley will offer as much wisdom as I expect!
this book changed my life. i wish i read it 5 years ago! any single woman needs to read this!
Fritz Guevarra
Very inspiring book just read its preview from the internet and want to buy my copy.
Victor Chininin
A very helpful resource for single women and for those counseling single women.
An excellent book even if the title is somewhat embarrasing!
Em Ormiston
Oct 02, 2008 Em Ormiston rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: those who don't know if marriage is in the future for them.
Recommended to Em by: Unfettered
Give up on the idea of marriage all together?
Excellent as well, not what it sounds like...
High Pointe Baptist Church
Can we trust God when our hearts
I got bored half way thru...
Deleah marked it as to-read
Mar 21, 2015
Sarah Minnick
Sarah Minnick marked it as to-read
Mar 18, 2015
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Carolyn McCulley is the author of Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World (Moody, 2008) and Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred (Crossway, 2004), as well as hundreds of articles for publications, including Christianity Today,, and the Washington Post. She is also a contributor to Sex and the Supremacy of Christ and the ESV Women's Devotional B ...more
More about Carolyn McCulley...
Radical Womanhood: Feminine Faith in a Feminist World The Measure of Success: Uncovering the Biblical Perspective on Women, Work, and the Home Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother's Heart and Hope Women's Devotional Bible-ESV

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