Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs” as Want to Read:
The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs

3.48  ·  Rating Details  ·  4,397 Ratings  ·  205 Reviews
At Edinburgh's Department of Environmental Health, hard-drinking, womanising officer Danny Skinner wants to uncover secrets: 'the bedroom secrets of the master chefs', secrets he believes might just help him understand his self-destructive impulses. But the arrival of the virginal, model-railway enthusiast Brian Kibby at the department provokes an uncharacteristic response ...more
ebook, 448 pages
Published June 4th 2009 by Vintage Digital (first published 2006)
More Details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.
This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  Rating Details
May 16, 2007 Peter rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Susie
Contrary to the old cliche', I won't say Irving Welsh has "done it again." Rather, he has gone well beyond his standard excellent story-telling and character draughtsmanship.

In The Bedroom Securets... Welsh spins a yarn so outlandish and raucous that the laughter one expects flows early and often; yet, before one expects it, the turn of events spirals into a deadly grudge match between two odious people so unsympathetic in Welsh's portrayal, it would take a masterful writer to inculcate empathy
Nate D
Sep 29, 2008 Nate D rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: People who have already read the better Welsh like Trainspotting and Glue.
Shelves: read-in-2008, britain
With Ulysses done, I need to read something fast, entertaining, pulpy. Thanks, Irvine Welsh.

This brow-leaping habit may be genetic. My mom apparently read Salem's Lot (King) right after Anna Karenina (Tolstoy).


Finished. Enjoyable, but a bunch of issues make this a clumsier Welsh effort overall:
1. Guessed crux of climactic plot reveal in first 100 pages, and sort of knew how things would end.
2. There were likeable characters, but not so much the main protagonists/antagonists (okay, hardly uniq
Jan 10, 2010 Ashley rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
A brilliantly entertaining read. Welsh, the author of "Trainspotting," who was raised in a Scottish housing project, waxes poignantly and believably on life in Edinburgh as seen through the eyes of several mid to late twentysomethings, most notably "Skinner," who is the protagonist.

Raised by a "punk-rock" mother, Skinner, (conceived in the blitzkreig of her wild and crazy youth) is on a quest to locate his father, whom is evidenced to still be living, but could be any one of several different pe
Oct 19, 2010 Pvw rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
A modern update of "Dorian Gray", in which the poor victim that suffers all the traces of the protagonist's abusive drinking, drugs and sex is not a painting, but a real life colleague of his. In the beginning, our macho restaurant critic utterly resents the shy and boring Brian Kibby, who always gets promoted in front of him, because he himself suffers from a major drinking problem and Kibby is like decency incarnated. One night he can't take it any more and curses Kibby - after which he furthe ...more
Aaron (Typographical Era)

First things first, in the interest of disclosure I must inform any one who happens to read this that I love the novels of Irvine Welsh. I’ve read just about everything the man has ever written from his 1993 debut “Trainspotting” forward and very rarely has he disappointed me.

That said, even if you hate Irvine Welsh, the one point you can’t argue is that man knows how to write. The main stumbling block most readers encounter when picking up his work is t
Mar 22, 2012 Nezzo rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Хмм, откъде да започна! Тази книга в първите си сто и нещо страници сякаш е трябвало да бъде нещо абстрахично друго, и после се е променила точно в онази посока, която прави авторите незабравимо уникални! Въпреки, че рано се досетих какво евентуално ще се окаже голямото действие, на моменти се разколебавах дали точно така ще стане, и накрая след хиляди различния, отклонения и невероятни факти се случиха точно нещата, които не трябваше да се случват. Доказателството за това колко нечестен, магиче ...more
Carlos Panhoca Da silva
Peguei essse livro esperando a mesma atmosfera que o autor apresentou na trilogia do Trainspotting e no Filth. Na prólogo a gente tem todos os elementos lá: Show do clash, gente bêbada, drogas, sexo, etc. E aí vira um livro sobre trabalho. Sim, trabalho. Um pouco de bebidas (socialmente), umas 3 ocasiões com drogas leves e é isso. Fiquei achando que ia ser uma bosta, mas três capítulos depois eu já tava devorando o livro no bus.

Nesse livro o Welsh abandona a forma narrativa que é vista como marc
Jay Hancock
It would be easy to say this is not my favorite Irvine Welsh book.
So we'll just leave it at that.
Nov 17, 2015 NocturnalBlaze rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Non fatevi ingannare dal titolo: questo libro non condivide nessun segreto erotico né parla della vita sessuale di qualsivoglia chef, per lo meno non nel dettaglio. C'è molto sesso, ci sono molti cuochi, ma sono solamente una parte di una vicenda molto più complessa che fa da contorno a questi due elementi.
Quella raccontata in questo libro è un'opposizione, quella fra un personaggio tipico dell'immaginario di questo autore, ovvero un donnaiolo dipendente da alcol, droga e violenza, opportunista
Dane Cobain
Oct 28, 2015 Dane Cobain rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Welsh is back on fine form here, and while he has written better (Marabou Stork Nightmares might well be an undiscovered modern classic), this still makes for a fantastic read. And, like most of Welsh’s work, it’s difficult to stop reading it, once the story has absorbed you – in fact, I read this as part of my 24-Hour Dyslexia Action charity readathon, and reading it from cover to cover in one sitting wasn’t a problem. It’s just the kind of story that does that to you.

Loosely speaking, it follo
Aug 22, 2015 Logan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
First off, this is NOT about the sex lives of chefs, which I was very glad to discover. To me, the title actually made me not want to read this book, tho I know the whole reason this book has this title is to draw readers in. Are there chefs in this book? Is there sex in this book? Yes, to both. But, no, it is not "about" the bedroom secrets of master chefs. And chefs aren't the main characters.

Now that that is out of the way... what this book really is is an allegory. It's about alcoholism, abu
Jan 03, 2013 Trisha rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Apr 23, 2014 Jack rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I love Irvine Welsh and consider him to be a sort of poet-bard for a certain broken section of society. He has a great ear and feel for dialogue. His characters are often horribly flawed, but the reader can still relate to them, sort of like that friend you no doubt have who is a bit of an asshole. You all have at least one. If you don't, then you are probably the asshole.

I don't want to get in to the scenario too much for fear of spoilers. I knock down the book a star for a few issues, such as
enjoyed welsh's dark humour in this novel about co-workers and shady side of edinburgh with the drinking and fighting but also shows a gritty side of people who maybe down on their luck
Rabbit {Paint me like one of your 19th century gothic heroines!}
I am laughing at the cover because it has nothing to do with the summary.
Jozef Kindred
Page turner though don't really think was an essential part of Welsh's work.
Matti Karjalainen
Luettuani Irvine Welshin "Mestarikokkien sänkykamarisalaisuuksia" (Otava, 2007) puolivälin paikkeille saakka, tajusin etten ollut ensimmäistä kertaa asialla. Olin lukenut kirjan aikaisemminkin, mutta kovin ihmeellisiä mielikuvia se ei ollut onnistunut jättämään.

Se tuntui sinänsä melko erikoiselta, sillä romaanissa oli alusta alkaen melkoinen draivi päällä: päihteet, seksi, henkinen ja fyysinen väkivalta olivat kaikki voimakkaasti läsnä, ja kaiken lisäksi eräs keskeisistä elementeistä oli maagis
Dec 21, 2015 Selman rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: novel
I feel too lazy to be arsed to write a proper review, so I'll just note here a few things that comes to my mind at the moment:

- The two main characters, Skinner and Kibby, continuously made me consider and reconsider my own self, both in their attitude towards life and in their relationships (or in the latter's case, rather lack of it) with women. I find bits and pieces of myself, familiar feelings and concerns, in certain passages both belongs to Skinner and Kibby. Which was interesting and sur
De Welsh, je n'avais lu qu'"Ecstasy: 3 Tales of Chemical Romance" (en vo et à 16 ou 17 ans) et vu "Trainspotting" (le film de Danny Boyle): je m'attendais donc à quelque chose de déjanté, d'éthylé et de stupéfieux. Et oui, il y a de l'éthylisme - beaucoup - et du stupéfiant (un peu). De la déjante, par contre, sacrément moins.

Et c'est dommage car le sujet avait beaucoup de potentiel, et un Welsh qui se lance le défi de mêler punk et fantastique, ça aurait pu être franchement rigolo. Hélas, le s
Apr 07, 2008 Julie rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
YES! After reading a few crapfests recently (not by this author) I am happy to report Irvine Welsh rocks me yet again.

Whenever I read Welsh I can't help but adapt his words to film in my mind. He writes really lush characters and settings that ordinarily aren't extraordinary - but he makes them so.

si odiano, danny e brian. si odiano e se le danno a forza di pinte, sfidandosi a chi si distrugge di più. si incontrano in uno squallido pub di periferia, convinti che quello sia il loro mondo. con il loro panico di trovare i sogni impastati nel fondo del bicchiere. vorrebbero darsele di santa ragione ma si limitano a battute, gelosie, sguardi traversi che solo caroline capisce, e patisce. perché lei li ama entrambi e si strugge per il loro bene, ma non ha modo di farli smettere. perché quelle d ...more
Rob Sherlock
Not his best book felt at times it lost its way and i think Welsh might have been in a hurry to finish the book and get onto his next book. I dont think he enjoyed writing this book and want to finish as quickly as possible.
Mar 30, 2014 Sam rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
The sudden shift towards the surreal/paranormal in this book caught me off guard but once I'd adjusted it did add to its intrigue. It's definitely different to most Irvine Welsh offerings but it's difficult to define exactly how. There is certainly more than the usual passing reference to alcohol(ism) as it is almost a central theme of the book with its effects and influence characterising every chapter. The story line was strong enough but not particularly original. As ever it is the strength o ...more
Not the best Welsh book, but since he's one of my favorite authors, it was still a relatively good read. This one started out a bit slow, but once the storyline started to unfold, it was one I couldn't put down. Take an alcoholic who's looking for his birth father, add in a goodie two shoes co worker, have a little kinda-sorta Freaky Friday action, and you've got a standard effed up Welsh novel. Welsh does a wonderful job of having you love the peeps you should despise, and cringe at the 'normal ...more
One of the strangest storylines I have read for a while. At first I hated it but it does get better as a dark comedy is revealed.
Danny is a 25yo alcoholic from Edinburgh. Brian is a 21 yo virgin teetotaller. The two are polar opposites. They become co-workers and competitors for promotion. Somehow Danny enacts a curse of Brian where Brian now starts to have the constitution of an alcoholic (without drinking) and experiences all of the sensations of Danny. Danny now drinks, takes drugs and has wi
Jul 04, 2012 Tanya rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
This is my first Irvine Welsh book. What a trip. The Scottish language was difficult to follow at times and I had a little trouble following which character's mind Welsh was writing in until I finally got the hang of his style halfway through the book. At the beginning, it seemed really disjointed and after several chapters, I wasn't sure I wanted to finish the book, but I plugged on and became curious as to where this aberrant story was all going. I still can't say that I completely enjoyed it- ...more
Ian Mapp
Aug 15, 2012 Ian Mapp rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Sep 23, 2011 Karen rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: borrowed
Having previously opined that a book can take over your inner speech and thought patterns, it's interesting to notes that the reverse is equally true: sometimes a book can match the way you're thinking and feeling so eloquently, it's spooky. And, since the word currently most frequently escaping under my breath is 'f***sake' (of course it's all one word) what my mind needed, without knowing it, was some Irvine Welsh.

Having also previously described Welsh as, I believe, a "baw-faced eejit" who ca
Vince Darcangelo

This review originally appeared in the UBERLIST and BOULDER WEEKLY

The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs
Irvine Welsh
by Vince Darcangelo

In his new book, The Bedroom Secrets of the Master Chefs, Scottish author Irvine Welsh takes us someplace he's never taken us before: the workaday world of the middle class. Whereas in previous novels Welsh's characters have run amock in Scotland's "schemes," or housing projects, in his eighth and most recent release du
Simão Pedro
May 25, 2013 Simão Pedro rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Irvine Welsh é um dos poucos autores contemporâneos nos quais investir 20 euros num dos seus romances é um investimento seguro. Está a ver aquelas afirmações magnificamente convincentes, do género «o melhor autor dos últimos tempos», ou «ninguém escreve como este autor»? Bla, bla, bla, «o melhor da sua geração»? Bom, estes elogios não aparecem na contracapa da obra, mas li algures que Welsh é «Celine dos tempos modernos». Depois de ter lido o francês, a afirmação não se torna de todo descabida, ...more
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 99 100 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • Kingdom Come
  • Success
  • Now and on Earth
  • Be My Enemy, Or, Fuck This for a Game of Soldiers
  • Stonemouth
  • The Coma
  • The Room
  • Clown Girl
  • Leaving Las Vegas
  • My Idea of Fun
  • Stanley Kubrick's Clockwork Orange
  • Letters from LA
  • Apathy and Other Small Victories
  • Guts
  • Nineteen Seventy Seven (Red Riding, #2)
  • Hell's Half Acre
  • The Fuck-Up
Probably most famous for his gritty depiction of a gang of Scottish Heroin addicts, Trainspotting, Welsh focuses on the darker side of human nature and drug use. All of his novels are set in his native Scotland and filled with anti-heroes, small time crooks and hooligans. Welsh manages, however to imbue these characters with a sad humanity that makes them likable despite their obvious scumbaggerry ...more
More about Irvine Welsh...

Share This Book

“don't let jesus in. AA is just one obsession replaced with another” 22 likes
“Prawdziwy dżentelmen nigdy nie dąży do wyruchania dziewczyny na pierwszej randce (chyba, że nie planuje drugiej).” 3 likes
More quotes…