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Die You Doughnut Bastards

3.99  ·  Rating Details ·  114 Ratings  ·  36 Reviews
"Like William S. Burroughs on crack!" - Thomas F. Monteleone, New York Times bestselling author

The bacon storm is rolling in. We hear the grease and sugar beat against the roof and windows. The doughnut people are attacking. We press close together, forgetting for a moment that we hate each other.

In Die You Doughnut Bastards, amputees, lonely young people, and talking ani
Paperback, 196 pages
Published October 1st 2012 by Eraserhead Press
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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30)
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Jan 26, 2014 David rated it it was amazing
Saying something is bizarro tells me some things but still leaves me almost completely in the dark. There are so many different ways to do bizarro: funny, disgusting, violent, just plain weird, and so on. I look on this book as primarily surreal. There's weirdness, and quite wild weirdness at that, but there's something underneath...something that eludes easy grasping. Some bizarro is just fun and some resonates deeper. This definitely resonates deeper.
Kyle Muntz
Mar 26, 2013 Kyle Muntz rated it it was amazing
A fantastic, awesome, and (as expected) extremely weird collection. From what I understand, the Bizarro being written now basically has two modes, pastiche (parodies or Bizarro re-imaginings of certain genres), and then something closer to pure absurdism, which is where I think Cameron Pierce falls. The stories in this collection are like grotesque dreams, written in clean prose that accents how fucked up they are. But also, I think, there's a tenderness to some of the stories that makes them ...more
review to come
David Hudnut
Oct 29, 2012 David Hudnut rated it it was amazing
Wonderfully Weird

Have you ever thought to yourself "Man, movies and books and TV shows are the same thing over and over again. Why can't Hollywood and the publishing industry make something different for a change?" I wonder this myself all the time. Everything is a remix of a re-hash of a remake of a book that was originally a folktale.

Cameron Pierce's story collection Die You Doughnut Bastards is none of those things. This book is actually different. It's original from top to bottom. It is choc
S.T. Cartledge
Jan 15, 2013 S.T. Cartledge rated it it was amazing
Shelves: bizarro
The first Bizarro book I read was Cameron Pierce’s ‘Lost in Cat Brain Land’. It was November 2010, and I was captivated by this collection of short, surreal stories. Two years later, I have read his latest collection that displays Cameron’s transformation into a wizard of the short story form. It’s a larger collection, yet the stories range from single page poetry and prose poems to stories spanning about 20-30 pages. I found that I read this collection in bits and pieces, picking it up every so ...more
Jeremy Maddux
Nov 27, 2013 Jeremy Maddux rated it it was amazing
I'd flirted with Bizarro on and off ever since 2002, but it was this book that converted me to a full fledged resident of the Bizarro universe once and for all. Cameron flexes some serious literary muscles here, as the stories range from poignant (Mitchell Farnsworth, Lantern Jaw) to hopeless (Die You Doughnut Bastards, Death Card) to whimsical (The Grown Family Destroyed, Blood Guineas).

The best comparison I can draw to Cameron's style for those who need to be sold on this one is the clown in L
Ms. Nikki
2 1/2 stars- Die You Doughnut Bastards- It's the end of the world. Doughnuts have taken over. Only a few survivors remain. Gotta be careful or there will be no one left.

2 Stars- The Prisoners- A correctional facility made of Pizza.

2 Stars- Ant Fat

2 Stars- Moop and the Woggle- A creature that ate too much

3 Stars- The Honesty of Marsupials Is a Marvelous Thing- A poem

2 Stars- Death Card- Original, but boring

3 Stars- Three People Lose Their Genitals While Getting Naked

2 Stars- A Birthday In Hell -
Jamie Grefe
Oct 13, 2012 Jamie Grefe rated it it was amazing
Shelves: bizarro-fiction
If you are wondering what Bizarro is and could be, where its future lies, then devour this book. Or, if you are simply looking for well-written tales that will spin your imagination into hyperspace, dig in and grab a doughnut, you bastard.

Review forthcoming SOMEWHERE.
M Griffin
Apr 28, 2013 M Griffin rated it it was amazing
Die, You Donut Bastards is the latest collection of short fiction and prose poetry by Cameron Pierce. The whimsical title and cover art may suggest a mostly humorous approach to Bizarro, a genre which can range from arty surrealism to shock-focused extremity, and also at times encompassing more conventional storytelling with a subtler twinge of the surreal. While many authors focus on a single approach, Pierce here shows himself capable of covering all the bases.

Most of the pieces are just a pag
Jan 19, 2013 Craig rated it liked it
'Die You Doughtnut Basards' is a short story from bizarro author Cameron Pierce, who has been releasing books for the past five years and always seems to get good reviews. This is actually my second Pierce book, the first being the novel 'Gargoyle Girls of Spider Island', which I found to be average, so was hoping this would give me a better chance to see if I would like his style or not.

It's hard to describe what happens within these pages, mainly because it is a bizarro short story collection,
Aaron Mcquiston
Feb 18, 2014 Aaron Mcquiston rated it really liked it
This is a collection of nonsense. The stories are silly and absurd, and there is really very little that does not go far far into left field. The ideas are mostly in the vein of "why would someone even think of writing this?" For those reasons, I love this collection. Some of the highlights are "Disappear" a story where Stephen King is stealing babies from wombs, "The Human Centipede 2 (UFSI Sequence) by Tao Lin: A Novel", and "Pancakes are Spooky." It seems as if many of these strange little ...more
Ryan Bradford
Feb 25, 2013 Ryan Bradford rated it really liked it
Probably my first experience with Bizarro, but had a really great time with it. Pierce's voice really grounds the narrative and gives it some genuine emotion, especially the last story Lantern Jaws, which was my favorite.

There's a noted sadness to a lot of these stories, which elevates the fantastic situations. Almost like knowing a great dream is about to end. Something just out of reach.

Also, it seems like there's a couple Oregon/Portland details that make it into these stories--surely a kil
Alan Clark
May 26, 2013 Alan Clark rated it it was amazing
Die You Doughnut Bastards is hilarious and irreverent. Pierce’s writing has an impromptu feel to it that makes it fresh, yet is thoughtfully put together. While the collection often has an absurdist tone, Pierce finds meaning in the chaos, offers glimpses of that meaning in the prose and poetry, but allows his readers to decide whether it has value. Life and death, conflict, sex, companionship, and love. They’re all there. And, yes, I find it valuable.
Jun 27, 2016 Hugo rated it really liked it
Good compilation of poems, short fiction and some experimental pieces.
The "Die You Doughnut Bastards" and "Lantern Jaws" are just brilliant. Do yourself a favor and read some Pierce.
C.V. Hunt
Nov 24, 2012 C.V. Hunt rated it really liked it
Shelves: own
This is a good variety of the author's work. I have to point out the story titled "Lantern Jaws" as my favorite. I'll be looking for more.
Cassie Tweten
Dec 08, 2013 Cassie Tweten rated it it was ok
Most of the stories are entertaining, but the writer seems to sacrifice good writing for shock value in several of them.
Michael Seidlinger
Apr 02, 2013 Michael Seidlinger rated it it was amazing
Doughnuts can and will devour every inch of my body. Right before they do, I will ask, "Can I get one last lick of frosting before you feed me to the eclair?"
Vincenzo Bilof
Dec 28, 2013 Vincenzo Bilof rated it it was amazing
I love reading a book and deciding that I have found an author whose work I need more of RIGHT NOW, and I’m thankful they’ve written a lot more stuff.

I think some of these stories are good enough to stand on their own, but the composition of the entire collection enhances the overall experience. There is a sense of poetic unity among the pieces, and the little illustrations between stories enhanced the sense of loneliness and longing that I felt pervaded throughout the book. There are unifying
Steven Shroyer
Jan 03, 2013 Steven Shroyer rated it it was amazing
Cameron Pierce wowed me when I read "The Ass Goblins of Auschwitz" back in 2010. Since then Cameron has done well for himself, becoming one of the forces behind Avant-Garde lit press Lazy Facist, and editing a deliriously funny collection of stories based on The Flying Spaghetti Monster, as well as routinely wishing me a happy birthday on Facebook. Now with his most recent book, he has done something else, he has made one of the best books of 2012.

Die You Doughnut Bastards is a collection of sto
Nicholaus Patnaude
May 31, 2014 Nicholaus Patnaude rated it it was amazing
The title probably sounds overly goofy, silly, and inane–but this book will surprise on many levels with its inventiveness. It is a very unique collection of Russell Edson-inspired poems, childish drawings, and short stories as only Cameron Pierce can write them–which combines absurd content imbued and emblazoned with a tragic and haunted human element. My favorite in the entire collection was “Lantern Jaws.” Although I only read it this morning in my flat in Istanbul, I already know that it ...more
Andrew Stone
Jul 22, 2013 Andrew Stone rated it it was amazing
I absolutely LOVED this collection. Before this collection of stories/poems, I had never read anything written by Cameron Pierce. Granted, I have read many of the books he has published as the editor of Lazy Fascist Press (possibly my favorite small press). Therefore, I figured I needed to give him a go. And I loved just about every minute of it. My favorite pieces in this collection were "Die You Doughnut Bastards," "Blood Guineas," "Disappear," "Brief History of an Amputee," "Marsupial," ...more
Feb 27, 2014 Michael rated it it was amazing
What makes Die you Doughnut bastards so good is that it doesn't try and be so bizarre that it alienates you. It is surreal and absurb but it's the characters that are bizarre and not the situations themselves.

Pierce is a talented writer that writes bizarro yet there's a likeability to it. If you''ve never read bizarro before this would be a good place to start. Among the stories are poems but they work well in the context of the book.

Highlights here are Moop And The Woogle, Die You Doughnut
Peter Tieryas
Aug 28, 2016 Peter Tieryas rated it it was amazing
I’m addicted to donuts. I devour glazed rainbow sprinkled mocha-filled monstrosities that coalesce into cholesterol heaps in my gut. I’ve gained twenty pounds from sugar bombs, greedily dipping maple napalms into my throat until I pick up Die You Donut Bastards by Cameron Pierce about a world filled with Killer Donuts. “Breakfast sweets rule the world,” Pierce writes as he satirizes and allegorizes our obsession with food.
Ben Arzate
Jan 15, 2013 Ben Arzate rated it it was amazing
Shelves: books-i-own
I read a large chunk of Cameron Pierce's collection, Die You Doughnut Bastards, while feeling sick. After reading the title story and then trying to take a nap, I had a fever dream of being attacked by evil breakfast pastries.

I'm glad I let myself recuperate a little before I finished it.

Full Review
M.P. Johnson
Dec 02, 2012 M.P. Johnson rated it really liked it
Mini Tour Of Everything Bizarro Can Be

The bizarro label covers a lot of ground, and this book is proof of that. Zany adventure horror with evil pastries? You got it. Thurston Moore-referencing poetry? Sure, why not. It's all here. My favorite is "Death Card." No less weird than any of the other stories, it's the clearest example of the emotional depth that can be encased in the weirdness of bizarro.
Mar 05, 2014 Derek rated it liked it
What a strange and thought-provoking collection about body image, our relationship with food, and family trauma. This collection was put together very well and grew unexpectedly throughout my reading. Although some stories were hit-or-miss, and although I enjoyed this differently than I did compared with 'Ass Goblins,' I was still content to read something that was so personal and brutally open from one of my favorite Bizarro authors.
Oct 03, 2014 Ame rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: poetry, bizarro
This book is a mish-mash of everything bizarro can be. There were times it made me hungry, then disgusted, then depressed, then hungry, then disgusted and happy at the same time. Great collection of poetry and stories. "Lantern Jaws" is the best - beautiful, creepy, and sad.
Apr 01, 2016 Chip rated it really liked it
Shelves: horror
I am kind of new to bizarro fiction, but the actual short stories were pretty good. Everything else in the book felt like free-form Andy Kaufman.
Jan 09, 2016 Misty rated it really liked it
Shelves: bizarro-fiction
Favorite stories were Pancakes are Spooky, Lantern Jaws, and Morbid Beavers, quick and fun read :) Looking forward to reading more by Cameron Pierce!
Aug 31, 2015 Mark rated it it was amazing
Shelves: favorites
It's one of the weirdest books I read in a long time. Possibly most of the mad thoughts you've ever thought of but were to scared to tell anyone. Funny, mad and disturbing at the same time. Loved it.
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Cameron Pierce is the author of eleven books, including the Wonderland Book Award-winning collection Lost in Cat Brain Land. His work has appeared in The Barcelona Review, Gray's Sporting Journal, Hobart, The Big Click, and Vol. I Brooklyn, and has been reviewed and featured on Comedy Central and The Guardian. He was also the author of the column Fishing and Beer, where he interviewed acclaimed ...more
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