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Aaron

by J.P. Barnaby (Goodreads Author)

4.27 of 5 stars 4.27 · rating details · 630 ratings · 172 reviews

I can’t describe what it’s like to want to scream every minute of every day.

Two years after a terrifying night of pain destroyed his normal teenage existence, Aaron Downing still clings to the hope that one day, he will be a fully functional human being. But his life remains a constant string of nightmares, flashbacks, and fear. When, in his very first semester of college...more

Paperback, 238 pages

Published October 8th 2012 by Dreamspinner Press (first published October 7th 2012)

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Best M/M Romance Published in 2012

55th out of 583 books — 1,183 voters

Love Means... No Boundaries by Andrew Grey

Best Gay Romance With A Character(s) Who Has A Disability

48th out of 198 books — 373 voters

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Oct 16, 2012 Monique ~ Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites, all-time-favourites

This is one of the most emotional and hearbreakingly beautiful books I have had the pleasure to read in a long time! Outstanding!...

I am not sure I can even begin to explain or even do justice to the words of Ms. J. P. Baranby! This book touched my heart in so many ways. Being in the mind of Aaron, his soul so utterly and completely shattered was devastating! but the heartwarming journey for his chance at 'normal' and the two families involved, who themselves were stretched to breaking point was poignant in it delivery.

Aaron, a beautiful boy damaged and broken, scarred both inside and out, by the most heinous of crimes from which he can never escape. Night after night he is plagued by debilitating nightmares, taking him back to the garage where he and his best friend Juliette were attacked. He can see the stained concrete floor, the water damaged ceiling - it's dirty and he can smell the oil, there is blood and always, Juliette's eyes pleading. But he is helpless....awakes full of fear and nausea, trembling, his very soul tortured. He survived....and now he can't live with that guilt and wishes that he too had died that night with his friend.

Aaron now simply exists, the sixteen year old boy with everything to live for died on that garage floor and what is left is an empty vessel, unable to function on his own. The many psychologists who were unable to help him, simply administer drugs for his suffocating depression and panic attacks, which leave him incapacitated and completely impassive, and with flashbacks of the fateful night triggered by any touch to his body, he is left without even the comfort of his mothers arms.

Spencer Thomas is deaf, born three months premature he is left with hearing impairment, and having been mainstream schooled he is also angry at the world and those who could not see past his stilted speech and deafness and saw him only as a retard! Ostracised by his peers and no friends for company, even his Father, a leading Trauma Specialist, who he was once so very close to has now slipped into a depression, finding his comfort in a bottle. Spencer is alone. He may be deaf, but he is like any other normal teenage boy, same wants and needs..in other words, he thinks with his dick! His solution, which was very enlightening for me was...Twitter Sex! Over the internet, where his deafness was not an obstacle he found willing partners. He just wants to be touched!

Spencer is drawn to Aaron - so sad and frightened, he feels compassion, wanting only to help him. So when the two are paired together as project partners, which is the perfect solution to what could have been a very harrowing and humiliating experience for both, through Twitter, IM and email they slowly come to trust one another and we are taken on a journey fraught with emotion, good and bad, compelled by evocative prose, moving dialog and characters so well developed you become immersed in their lives, willing them to make the right decisions, hoping with all your heart that the pain and hurt in their lives, if not forgotten, will at least be behind them and truly find solace in their friendship and love in their blooming romance.

People who know me, will be aware of how much I love my smut...but most of all I love books that make me 'feel' a book that has me so engrossed and invested in the characters that I am part of their lives. This is an erotic romance, but not between our two MC's, they are merely fledglings, taking baby steps in an emotionally complicated relationship, that is so beautiful in its delivery, I found myself in tears through the most part, my heart both assaulted and warmed by the numerous emotions this book evoked. There is more to the tale of Aaron and Spencer and I am hoping the extremely talented J. P. Barnaby will not be making me wait too long to read it.

Do I recommend this book...HELL YES! Just read it!

Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews

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51 likes · like · see review

Oct 19, 2012 Meep rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: no-one

This book doesn’t work for me, in fact it got me upset and almost angry for all the wrong reasons. The authors speciality is very obviously in computer technology and not counselling, but if choosing such an emotive subject as a characters rape to be central in a work of fiction, I feel it should be thought out carefully and treated respectfully rather than for shock value.

At one point there is a whole page of what I assume is coding, I don’t expect that in a work of fiction, I don’t know coding...more This book doesn’t work for me, in fact it got me upset and almost angry for all the wrong reasons. The authors speciality is very obviously in computer technology and not counselling, but if choosing such an emotive subject as a characters rape to be central in a work of fiction, I feel it should be thought out carefully and treated respectfully rather than for shock value.

At one point there is a whole page of what I assume is coding, I don’t expect that in a work of fiction, I don’t know coding so it’s a wasted page. I also don’t twitter so have no interest in it’s protocols. I’m not a ‘wargame’ fan, the characters names bare no significance to me so mere mention of one as a source of disagreement leaves me confused.

The top of his field psychologist is too unprofessional for words. There’s a few therapy concepts thrown in but warped and the situations are terrible.

I found the book has a habit of guiding the reader in what to think, then telling the reader what conclusions they should be drawing. This should be show not tell. When characters behaviour frequently drew me to one impression, and the narrative instructed me to think otherwise it made me feel uncomfortable.

(view spoiler)[The tutor. We’re told he’s a nice thoughtful man. Before Aaron goes to college his mother speaks to the dean.
Day one, class one - Tutor says group work is essential to the course, Aaron’s mother phones the college but he wont budge.
Class two - tutor asks a scarred traumatised boy to stand up and be identified, for his own good.
To me that means he’s cruel and directly ignoring both his employer and a parents concerns. That is not a nice man.

The therapist No longer practising, an alcoholic whose also Aaron’s only friend’s father. I started calling him Dr Alcho-Pops.
-Within an hour of meeting informally, he’s giving a ‘session’ with his son present, his first concern is he’ll be writing a paper on Aaron.
-If he was taking over therapy (medication) officially the insurance company would be aware of it and therefore Aaron’s parents.
-He’s ‘read about cases like these’!
-Confidentiality? after a session he IM’s his son to out Aaron, before Aaron has even left the house!
-He pushes Aaron to talk about the rape so he can make points on a white board, at a time Aaron’s parents are expected - they walk in.
There’s a lot more issues. It felt like a case of grooming. Aaron is convinced Dr Alcho-Pops is the only person who’ll help him, and is clearly being turned against his parents.

Aaron mentions his attack to his mother for the first time in two years and she yawns and goes to bed!
It’s naïve to think the police wouldn’t have been asking all kinds of painful questions to make a case, Aaron would have had to talk. Characters/facts just don’t add up. Spencer is a cowered deaf boy one minute and minor porn star the next. An injunction is served while Aaron is in the house.

It’s too easy to take this from review to rant. At the end of the day, the character is a severely traumatised young man whose been brutally raped. The cover model chosen to portray him is apparently a porn-star. All said, that does kind of show where the books priorities lie. (hide spoiler)]
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19 likes · like · see review

Oct 19, 2012 Lisa Henry rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: cried-like-a-baby, m-m, something-in-my-eye, will-read-again-and-again

This book was one of the most hard-hitting emotionally I’ve read in a while, but sometimes it’s okay to stay up late, crying over your kindle and wondering if there is any junk food in the house, right?

Two years after being brutally attacked and left for dead, Aaron is a psychological wreck. He can barely function. He doesn’t interact with his own family, and has traumatic panic attacks if he’s touched. Before the attack (view spoiler)...more

18 likes · like · see review

Oct 14, 2012 MsMiz (Tina) added it · review of another edition

Shelves: glbt-all, kindle-mobi

Keeping all ya'all in suspense;)

Clue #1 - I have read it three times.

Clue #2 - Aaron is beautiful and tragic. You will feel him throughout this book. The author did an amazing job with pace.

7 likes · like · see review

Oct 25, 2012 Simsala*is getting slow* rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, contemporary, angst, hurt-comfort

Aaron was a touching romance, no doubt, but I`m not so easily sidetracked by gentle kisses, tears and deep emotions.
When I read a book dealing with serious issues - in this case PTSD after being brutally attacked (Aaron) and dealing with everyday life when being deaf (Spencer) - I want to have the feeling that authors know what they are talking about, because - what do I know about severe trauma therapy, medication and how a character feels in the aftermath of an attack - next to nothing.

There...more

11 likes · like · see review

Jan 05, 2013 Ayanna rated it 2 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: dnr, kill-it-with-fire

It started off pretty ~~good~~ well (*shrugs I tend to think more in terms of a label rate-it-from-bad-to-good type thing, so that's why I typed "pretty good". *shrugs Oh, well. w/e [lol]), actually, but a little forced. I mean, I could see where the author was going for subtlety, but it still came off as rather forced "subtlety." For a while it was actually good. I was getting chills. And then shit happened.

The first thing:
"I am not stupid enough to be lured into a goddamned van, tearing my whole f...more

3 likes · like · see review

Dec 22, 2012 I.Am.Reader rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: dark-angsty-taboo, ya

This is a story of emerging from the wreckage of the past and going through the painstaking process of reclaiming life as it's meant to be lived. It's about a friends whose strengths and needs complement each other. It's about finding true comfort in the least expected places. It's definitely a heavy read, but it's worth it.

3 likes · like · see review

Dec 12, 2012 Kazza rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favourites, psychological

Book #6 On My Faves of 2012 at On Top Down Under Book Reviews
http://bookreviewsandtherapy.blogspot...

Okay. I had a tussle with this book in the beginning. My status updates are arguementative :) I had to adjust to the MC's ages, the writer, and writing style.

Aaron is a beautiful book. Made so by the special characters that J P Barnaby has brought to life here. Having said that, it is also an intense read, with some hard, hard moments and some will not be too keen to read them. The MC's are wond...more

2 likes · like · see review

Mar 03, 2013 Jilly rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

4.5 stars

3 likes · like · see review

Apr 16, 2013 Bree Cheese rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Bree Cheese by: Amanda

Shelves: m-m, contemporary

Heartbreaking and beautiful.

2 likes · like · see review

Mar 05, 2013 World of Diversity Fiction rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: length-novel, pairing-gay, genre-contemporary, rating-3-75-stars, publisher-dsp, author-jp-barnaby, cover-artist-pride-media, reviewer-sean, heat-rating-3

Title: Aaron
Author: J.P. Barnaby
Cover Artist: Pride Media
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press
Reviewer: Sean
Buy Links: Publisher | Amazon | ARe
Genre: Contemporary
Pairing: Gay
Length: Novel
Heat Rating: ♨♨♨
Rating: ★★★¾

Read full review here

1 like · like · see review

Nov 03, 2012 Vladimir rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This was quite a hard book to read and a lot harder to review.

Aaron Downing is an eighteen year old young man who suffered a terrible act of violence and is learning to pick himself up from the aftermath. The story basically focuses on how he struggles to cope with the resulting trauma of this horrible incident while nurturing his growing feelings for his new found friend Spencer Thomas. It's quite a simple plot but it focuses heavily on how a person recovers from trauma and depression through t...more
This was quite a hard book to read and a lot harder to review.

Aaron Downing is an eighteen year old young man who suffered a terrible act of violence and is learning to pick himself up from the aftermath. The story basically focuses on how he struggles to cope with the resulting trauma of this horrible incident while nurturing his growing feelings for his new found friend Spencer Thomas. It's quite a simple plot but it focuses heavily on how a person recovers from trauma and depression through therapy and the ripple effect it brings to those he loves.

The story is told in the third person and even though there's only a handful of characters in the book, their growth is very prominent as the story progresses. The author did a good job invoking the feeling of depression along with the kind of thinking that a person suffering from severe trauma would evoke. The writing is easy enough to get into but very engaging so I really felt the stress and heartache that Aaron and his family portrayed throughout the story. I found myself emotionally
drained through most of the reading experience but it's what compelled me to see the story through.

I can't help but feel that some of Aaron's thoughts were a bit redundant specifically when deciding to go to college. It's always pointed out that he thinks he wouldn't be able to hold down a job because he's "screwed up" thus there's no point in going. This is also the case with being in a relationship wherein he kept thinking that he doesn't deserve Spencer and that the latter would leave him eventually. I understood this problem early on but I was a bit put off reading it over and over again, although if this was a device the author used to convey Aaron's constant bouts of depression, I can't be sure.

The author was also a bit technical with programming and therapy terms which I think could've been a toned down a bit because it has a tendency to make some people scratch their heads. There isn't much humor in the story as well, and if there were, it wasn't strong enough to bring forth any laughter in me a midst the angst. I could count it as a negative but then I might not have taken this book seriously if there were lots of funny moments in the story.

(view spoiler)

This book is heavily inclined towards angst so if your're looking for a light and funny read with satisfying sex, then you might want to reconsider. This book isn't hundred percent HEA either so be warned. But if you're looking for an emotionally investing story that would give you a sense of triumph amidst overwhelming odds then I'm sure you would enjoy it like I did.(less)

4 likes · like · see review

Nov 23, 2012 Andrea rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: for-review, favorites

4.5/5

I’ve been wanting to read a J.P. Barnaby book for quite a while. I’ve slowly started collecting the Little Boy Lost series but have yet to actually start reading them. I love books in a series but I have a compulsion to read the entire series at once. As Aaron is a stand alone, it provided me a chance to get a feel for the author without having to commit to a large series.

It took about two pages for me to realize that this was going to be dark… really dark. I like dark but this hit the leve...more 4.5/5

I’ve been wanting to read a J.P. Barnaby book for quite a while. I’ve slowly started collecting the Little Boy Lost series but have yet to actually start reading them. I love books in a series but I have a compulsion to read the entire series at once. As Aaron is a stand alone, it provided me a chance to get a feel for the author without having to commit to a large series.

It took about two pages for me to realize that this was going to be dark… really dark. I like dark but this hit the level of bleak hopelessness I only expect in a horror books. Aaron and his best friend were kidnapped, tortured, and left for dead two years ago. Aaron lives in a constant state of terror as he relives those events every minute of every day. He has lost hope for ever regaining a normal life. He simply exists from one minute to the next trying to mask his agony from his family in order to spare them from his reality. The author did an amazing job of convincing me that Aaron might be broken beyond repair. It was so depressing that if Aaron’s point of view was the only one I got, I wouldn’t have kept reading. The reason I kept going was because Aaron’s point of view kept being interrupted by Spencer’s point of view. I knew that the two men would eventually meet and that gave me some hope for a brighter future for both of them.

The lives of Spencer and Aaron run parallel through the first half of the book. I got to know them separately. In most books, Spencer would be the damaged hero. He’s deaf, depressed and lonely. He goes about finding human interaction in ways which only make him feel more alone. In this book, Spencer is well adjusted in comparison to Aaron.

Once they finally meet, they slowly form a precarious friendship. As their friendship deepens and evolves, Aaron begins to heal and emerge from his dark shell. He’ll never be normal but he begins to enjoy life again. Over time they begin to trust one another and their relationship becomes a source of strength and hope for both of them.

I wish I could give this book a rating of 5, but I just can’t do it. The stifling darkness at the beginning was too much for me. I didn’t enjoy reading the early scenes of Aaron’s life. I’m a big fan of thriller, suspense and horror books so not enjoying that was a surprise to me. I connected with Aaron but I was uncomfortable reading about him early on in the book. It was once Aaron and Spencer met that the book took off for me. I did love it from that point on. Their relationship was unlike anything I’ve ever read before. Aaron and Spencer aren’t capable of having the standard romance book version of a HEA ending. The beauty of their story is that they got a unique ending which was perfect for them. I loved that!

This isn’t a book for everyone. If you’ve read the blurb as well as my review and still think you might enjoy it, I highly recommend it.(less)

1 like · like · see review

Oct 10, 2012 Susan65 rated it 5 of 5 stars

I know I am a sucker for damaged men but damn this was harsh. Aaron is a beautiful tragedy and I was unsure if this story could possibly have any kind of happy ending. As luck would have it, he meets Spencer. A wonderful, patient, loving and deaf young man who has dealt with his own issues but still has enough love and compassion in his heart for Aaron. Two of the saddest but sweetest guys ever.

Aaron's mom was amazing in how she was always there for her damaged son, but her inflexibilty at the e...more

5 likes · like · see review

Mar 31, 2013 Plainbrownwrapper rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: mm

This is several steps up from the Little Boy Lost books, which I couldn't stand, but it still had problems. Yes, it's touching. Yes, it's got heart-wrending trauma and damaged characters struggling through life. But it also has, in no particular order:

1. unrealistic dialog;
2. unrealistically rapid improvement in Aaron's PTSD;
3. IMHO an unrealistically isolated deaf character (Spencer) -- I have known deaf lip-readers myself (some deaf people read lips, some don't), and really, Spencer didn't hav...more This is several steps up from the Little Boy Lost books, which I couldn't stand, but it still had problems. Yes, it's touching. Yes, it's got heart-wrending trauma and damaged characters struggling through life. But it also has, in no particular order:

1. unrealistic dialog;
2. unrealistically rapid improvement in Aaron's PTSD;
3. IMHO an unrealistically isolated deaf character (Spencer) -- I have known deaf lip-readers myself (some deaf people read lips, some don't), and really, Spencer didn't have a reason to be **that** isolated;
4. glossing over of Dr. Thomas' alcoholism -- he seemed to go from being drunk all day every day to magically being sober whenever he had a session with Aaron, with no explanation how he made the change;
5. a supposed complete ignorance about treating PTSD from all the other therapists before Dr. Thomas -- really?? How many years have we been at war now, and supposedly **none** of these therapists have a clue??
6. Dr. Thomas, who is no longer even practicing -- and who was in *private* practice even then -- is supposedly the country's greatest authority on treating trauma victims. Really???? Do Iraq and Afghanistan ring any bells here?? Surely military psychologists have much more experience with PTSD than a simple private shrink??
7. And no, given the description of his symptoms at the beginning of the book, it seemed clear (to me at least) that Aaron really WASN'T ready to be out taking college classes on campus (waaaaaayyyy too much potential for disaster there);

On the other hand, I really liked things like:

1. Dr. Thomas' calm and rational approach to therapy;
2. the fact that Spencer and Aaron (view spoiler);
3. the fact that Aaron (view spoiler);
4. Spencer's empathy and patience;
5. and other things I'm not thinking of right now.

So, good parts and bad. I did feel touched by the suffering, and encouraged by the progress and by the lack of *complete* insta-healing (even though I thought the initial healing took place much too rapidly). 3.5 stars, rounding up to 4 'cause I feel generous today, and -- hey -- angst, ya know?(less)

1 like · like · see review

Oct 13, 2012 Gwen rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: alphabet-soup

Damn book ended too soon!

I mean, I did like the ending. A lot. It was really the only way the story could have ended that would have been true to the characters and what they'd been through. My problem is that I got completely wrapped up in these characters, so naturally I want to see more of their story. I want to see the rest of Aaron's progress, bumps in the road and all. I want to see him and Spencer actually get to be together in more ways than one. Mostly, I think what I really want is th...more Damn book ended too soon!

I mean, I did like the ending. A lot. It was really the only way the story could have ended that would have been true to the characters and what they'd been through. My problem is that I got completely wrapped up in these characters, so naturally I want to see more of their story. I want to see the rest of Aaron's progress, bumps in the road and all. I want to see him and Spencer actually get to be together in more ways than one. Mostly, I think what I really want is the reassurance that there's going to be a sort of HEA down the road for these two. Man I hope there's a sequel.

I didn't really expect to care about the characters so much when I started this book. Even though they'd been through a great deal, they come across at the beginning as not very likeable at all. Spencer is kind of an ass, and Aaron is just existing, an almost empty shell, so they're very hard to warm up to. But it does happen. Spencer turns out to be this incredibly sweet and giving person, and Aaron becomes so very capable that by the end of the book they're no longer the same people we met at the beginning. The transition is so measured and slow, however, that by the time you notice, it's almost a surprise.

It is a slow book. Everything happens in baby steps, but that's not a bad thing. If it'd been done any other way, it would have rang false. People who go through what Aaron went through aren't going to recover at lightning speed, no matter who loves them and how much, so it was very refreshing to see that he wasn't all the way there yet at the end of the book, no matter how very much I would have liked to have seen that.

And now that I think about it, having read the Little Boy Lost series right before this, I am SO very glad Barnaby was nice enough to us this time around to not end it with a cliffhanger. HFN I can deal with. Anything less with something this well done and it's angry peasant tantrum time.

Also, I'm not sure how, but this book gave me a nosebleed.(less)

1 like · like · see review

Feb 24, 2013 Tʀɪsʜᴀ Hᴀʀʀɪɴɢᴛᴏɴ rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: loved, ya, teenage-characters, angst, dark

J.P. Barnaby did a wonderful job with this book. Aaron, was one that I had been nervous about. Two difficult issues were dealt with in this, both were tackled head on and done very well. The abuse and rape character versus the deaf character felt very natural. I enjoyed this read and have read it a few times since.

Arron was trying to deal with issues he has since an attack that left him psychologically scarred and his best friend dead. I loved the way he was portrayed, everything was a battle fo...more

1 like · like · see review

Feb 10, 2013 Marta L. rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: lgtb

This book was probably one of the best reads I have come across in a while. The follow-through and the emotional insight were amazing. I have to admit that the book isn't just for anyone because it reviews some topics that might be considered disturbing by some.

The only reason I'm giving the book 4 stars is because it felt incomplete to me, in other words - there wasn't the final closure I would have liked.

I'd love a sequel, btw :)

1 like · like · see review

Feb 10, 2013 Kukko rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: z-bookie-nookie-scavenger-hunt, mm-bom, mm-whips-and-kisses, 1-app-kindle-borrowed, 2013-amazeballs, a-contemporary, a-erotic, a-romance, character-student, sex-mix-m-m, z-disability, 2013-fave, z-2013

The heartbreakingly beautiful love story of Aaron, a broken 18 year-old and Spence, his deaf savior.

I felt I was going to love this book as soon as I started it, and when doing anything other than reading it felt like an interruption, that was confirmed.

Wow! Just Wow!! Not much else I can say really...without sounding trite...

Borrowed from Nan for the Bookie Nookie 2013 Scavenger Hunt

1 like · like · see review

Oct 09, 2012 Veronica / V rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: big-girl-hat-come-on-you-can-do-it, deserved-10-stars-imo

This story sure looks sad.

UPDATED

I'm not going to attempt to write a review, not even my Spanish /English dictionary will help me to write a review this story truly deserved.
I just going to say, it was beautiful, stunning, heartbroken..the author did an amazing job!!!
This is coming from someone who doesn’t read this kind of stories and is out of my comfort zone.
I'm so glad the mother was portrait as a wonderful, caring and supportive, I have read so many stories where the mother or Father are j...more

7 likes · like · see review

Dec 31, 2012 Pauline rated it 5 of 5 stars

A book which tugs the heartstrings and is not for those with a week stomach. Aaron has gone through a horrific experience which has shattered his life. JP Barnaby always delivers on the angst.

1 like · like · see review

Dec 15, 2012 Qi rated it 1 of 5 stars

Way too much telling instead of showing. Yes, thank you, Aaron feels guilty for surviving and for being a burden on his mom. I'm glad the author did her research. Unfortunately, none of this makes me care about the characters at all.

1 like · like · see review

Jan 20, 2013 Michael Joseph rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay-contemporary

You can find my full review of Aaron on my web site.

1 like · like · see review

Mar 23, 2013 Southernangel rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: brilliant, must-read, tissuebox

This is without a doubt one of the best books I have read. The delicate way in which JP Barnaby handles a devastating situation just blew me out of the water. Usually, books dealing with trauma always has you on the edge of the seat with all the angst, but this book didn't kill me with angst. Other books I've read usually follows the "dick fixes all the troubles" MO. This book actually looks at the realistic aftermath. It shows the night terrors, the insecurities, the depression, the hope, the g...more

2 likes · like · see review

Feb 02, 2013 Tamela rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Recommended to Tamela by: M/M Romance Group BOM selection

Shelves: adult-fiction, contemporary, high-school-college, handicapped-injury, life-goes-on, mid-size, mm-or-mmm, my-5-star-favs, recommended, love-romance

Very good book. The events leading up to the current day were horrendous, but were brought in slowly and not overwhelmingly. I wanted to read about the characters... not just what happened to the characters, so this story was just what I was looking for. We were told enough to allow us to understand without all the grisely details which often cloud my enjoyment.

Aaron's life was a shambles and there didn't seem to be anyone who could help him, even his family. But his mom was there gentley encour...more

1 like · like · see review

Jan 01, 2013 Gyn rated it 3 of 5 stars

Yes, I love broken characters. Yes, I love deaf characters. Yes, I love college guys. Although this book has all of these things, I didn't love it. It started off bad for me when (view spoiler)...more

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Nov 07, 2012 Michael Bowler rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is an unusual and terrific book! The characters are well-drawn and the response by all of them to the horrific trauma that nearly ended the life of now-eighteen-year-old Aaron is very heartfelt and believable. Without giving away any spoilers, what happened to the 16-year-old left him scarred physically and emotionally (probably for life) and has shut him off from the entire world, including the family who loves him and wants to help but doesn't know how. The parents and Aaron's brothers ar...more This is an unusual and terrific book! The characters are well-drawn and the response by all of them to the horrific trauma that nearly ended the life of now-eighteen-year-old Aaron is very heartfelt and believable. Without giving away any spoilers, what happened to the 16-year-old left him scarred physically and emotionally (probably for life) and has shut him off from the entire world, including the family who loves him and wants to help but doesn't know how. The parents and Aaron's brothers are likable people and their uncertainty, pain, and frustration in dealing with the damaged boy and his flashbacks and mood swings and post-traumatic stress syndrome are well written and portrayed. The other main character is another 18-year old named Spencer, who is deaf and lonely and damaged himself. He has a rather horrific backstory, as well. These two meet when Aaron's parents force him to take a community college class. The fact that both Spencer and Aaron are gay is almost insignificant to the storyline because the eventual friendship, built of extreme need and aching loneliness, these two boys develop could've stood on its own without the gradual romance blossoming, though the romance was also very touching and painfully real, especially given Aaron's shell-shocked sensibilities. Spencer's father, a clinical psychologist, who helps Aaron on the road to healing is a good character who, we are told by the author, is an alcoholic at the beginning, but we see little evidence of a serious addiction, especially after Aaron and Spencer become friends and Aaron spends more time with Dr. Thomas. This book is filled with damaged people who, through their interactions with each other and love for each other, begin to find ways to heal themselves. It's an amazingly emotional read and I wholeheartedly recommend it. Spencer and Aaron are memorable characters you won't soon forget. My only caveats (hence 4 rather than 5 stars) are as follows: we never get the entire story of Aaron's survival from the vicious attack on him and his friend. It seems likely what was done to the friend would've also been done to him, in which case he should've died. It was vague how he managed to survive. Also, it would've been helpful for the reader to know a little more about what had been done to apprehend the attackers and was the case even still open and might there still be hope of catching those men. The family never seemed worried about the possibility that the killers-at-large might one day return to finish the job so there would be no witnesses. My biggest complaint, however, is the following: Spencer is portrayed and depicted throughout the book as shy, lonely, caring and decent - not in any way a user or abuser or callous or unfeeling. That's why he and Aaron so desperately need each other and fit so well with each other. However, when we first meet Spencer, he accepts a delivery of a package from a total stranger, brings the guy into his house and screws him without hesitation. It felt to me, especially as the story went on and Spencer's decent personality emerged more fully, that maybe someone told the author she needed at least one gratuitous sex scene in the book and that's what she came up with. Whatever the reason, it established a "user" persona for Spencer early on that was never evident anywhere else in the story and almost trashed his character. Fortunately, he becomes so heartfelt and likable later on, you almost begin to think that early episode happened in a different book. Other than this rather egregious early error, "Aaron" quickly finds its footing as one of this years best books and a soaring pean to the notion that no matter how bad our past lives may have been, with friendship and love there is always hope for the future.(less)

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Nov 04, 2012 Gaylistbookreviews rated it 4 of 5 stars

Title: Aaron
Author: JP Barnaby
Publisher: Dreamspinner Press, October 2012
Rating: B List
Blurb: I can’t describe what it’s like to want to scream every minute of every day.

Two years after a terrifying night of pain destroyed his normal teenage existence, Aaron Downing still clings to the hope that one day, he will be a fully functional human being. But his life remains a constant string of nightmares, flashbacks, and fear. When, in his very first semester of college, he’s assigned Spencer Thomas...more

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Oct 13, 2012 Lisa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: abuse, character-with-disability, coming-of-age, contemporary, drama, glbt, m-m, psychological-drama, rape-off-screen

4.5 Stars

“Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.” – Aristotle

J.P. Barnaby’s Aaron is the story of a boy, Aaron Downing, who, at the age of sixteen, suffered through a crime so horrific that it left behind untold scars, both on his body and in his mind. Lying on the cold and unforgiving floor of a filthy garage, Aaron became lost forever to the boy that was and was reborn a mere shadow of the son, the brother, the someone with so much potential and promise in his future. Now, at eigh...more 4.5 Stars

“Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.” – Aristotle

J.P. Barnaby’s Aaron is the story of a boy, Aaron Downing, who, at the age of sixteen, suffered through a crime so horrific that it left behind untold scars, both on his body and in his mind. Lying on the cold and unforgiving floor of a filthy garage, Aaron became lost forever to the boy that was and was reborn a mere shadow of the son, the brother, the someone with so much potential and promise in his future. Now, at eighteen, he is little more than a chimera of a living, breathing human being. He is a boy who merely takes up space in a world in which he believes he no longer belongs, lost in the haze of the drugs the doctors, who don’t know what to do for him, prescribe to try and keep him tethered to some semblance of reason in a life that he can’t possibly make sense of, suffering from the untold burden of both survivor’s guilt and post-traumatic stress disorder. Aaron’s life is the very personification of a living hell.

Spencer Thomas lives under a burden of a wholly different sort, but when one is suffering, the degrees by which that suffering is measured become negligible. Pain is pain, and anguish is not a competition, but it can be a source of communion, especially when there is empathy there, as well as the ability to communicate in a common language. Spencer is burdened by the mistaken beliefs of the uninformed that his deafness also means he’s developmentally challenged, which couldn’t be further from the truth. No, the only limitation his deafness has placed upon him is the inability for people to see beyond his handicap to the kind and beautiful boy who is so much more than his disability.

Aaron is the story of two young men, one who doesn’t want to be touched or seen, and one who wants nothing more than to be touched and seen for more than his inability to hear. It is the story of how their lives intersect, through fate or fortune—the reason why doesn’t really matter in the end. What matters is that their having met begins a cautious and courageous journey toward healing and perhaps even a little hope, not only for them, but for Spencer’s father as well, as Aaron’s afflictions become the roadmap to his own redemption.

This is the story of a family’s struggle to hold itself together with a fingertips’ grasp on what they’re trying to define as their new normal. It’s a story, for a mother and father, of knowing when to hold on and when it’s time to let go, of discovering the strength to encourage a damaged son to spread his new wings and to fly again, even if it means flying into the face of all his fears.

Pain is reading a book in which the author makes her characters suffer such unimaginable horrors that it spoke to me on a visceral level. As I read Aaron’s story, I vacillated between wanting to crawl into my own skin to save myself from every parents' worst nightmare of a crime committed against their child, to wanting to crawl into the pages of the book and try my damndest to make this boy all better. Or if not better, at least to show him that though there’s surely evil in this world, it can’t possibly persevere where there’s also love and kindness.

Fortunately, J.P. Barnaby did that for me.

TNA>(less)

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Nov 06, 2012 Christina rated it 5 of 5 stars

I picked up Aaron last night...and I finished it last night.

This story is not full of rainbows and love songs....it is real and tragic and heartbreaking at times. Don't get me wrong, there is laughter and smiles too but the heart of the story is about a survivor of a horrific assault and how he tries to cope with life after.

Aaron was so beautifully damaged and Spencer, so unhappy and needing someone to love him made me feel for the characters right away. The story starts with just a little glimm...more

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About J.P. Barnaby

An award-winning, best-selling novelist of over a dozen books, J. P. Barnaby is a proud member of the GLBT community both online and in her small town on the outskirts of Chicago. A member of Mensa, she is often described as brilliant but troubled, sweet but introverted and talented but deviant. She spends her days writing software and her nights writing erotica which is, of course, far more inter...more

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Books by J.P. Barnaby

The Forbidden Room (The Forbidden Room, #1)

A House of Cards: Deconstructing Ethan (The Forbidden Room, #2)

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“His younger brothers, Allen and Anthony, hadn’t come downstairs yet. Aaron, Allen, and Anthony—their straight As, as his parents had joked before their first A became an F.” — 1 person liked it

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