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Cash Out: A Novel

3.43 of 5 stars 3.43  ·  rating details  ·  198 ratings  ·  60 reviews
It's 2008. In three days, family man and Silicon Valley speechwriter Dan Jordan will see his start-up stock vest. He'll cash out with $1.1 million, turn in his frenetic Valley life in for a slower one on the beach with his wife and two children, and finally live the life he's supposed to live. Or so he thinks. Before he can collect his cash and get outta Dodge, all hell br ...more
ebook, 400 pages
Published October 16th 2012 by Harper Perennial (first published October 9th 2012)
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Greg Bardsley
May 26, 2012 Greg Bardsley rated it 5 of 5 stars  ·  (Review from the author)  ·  review of another edition
From what I understand, I might be biased, as I wrote CASH OUT.
I should just never read the blurbage on books, because this was supposed to be a "sidesplitting romp" and, well, after 100-ish pages, I was waiting for even a mild chuckle.

Obviously I didn't read far enough to find out why two apparently unrelated groups were going after Dan (or possibly it's only about his soon-to-vest stock options that will make him a millionaire - single million, by the way, not serious IT venture money). Nor did I really care why, or whether or not he and his wife would m
Fleur Bradley
When I read that CASH OUT was supposed to be like Office Space, I was skeptical. I'm a fan of that movie, so this book had better be good, I thought when I started reading.

CASH OUT is better. The book features Dan Jordan, who just had a vasectomy and just needs three days before his stock option at his firm mature, so he can cash-out. But Dan made some questionable choices, and now a posse of angry IT guys are blackmailing him, and there's some corporate muscle on his tail... Things only get wor
Chris O'Brien
This was another book that just landed on my desk. I was looking for a good read for a recent plane trip, and grabbed it out of my trunk at the airport, not knowing much about the book or Bardsley. Must say, it was the best of surprises. It's about a former newspaper reporter who has sold out to work for a dot-com who is on the verge of cashing out his options before everything unravels. The pace is fast, and the storytelling sharp and very, very funny. And on a personal level, it didn't hurt th ...more
Cash Out is a wonderful combination of the bizarre, hysterical, and gruesome. I was first turned on to Greg Bardsley's writing a few years ago when I read his short story "Upper Decking." Amazing! He has a very distinct voice: funny, somewhat crime centric, off-beat characters, a little violence thrown in. I agree with another review that I could see Cash Out being turned into a movie. A future cult classic, like The Big Lebowski. Buy it. Read it.
I'm a big fan of testicle-based humor and office satires, but Cash Out didn't deliver a single LOL for me. I don't want to be a jerk, but I think the back cover copy ("Office Space as remade by the creators of The Hangover," "side-splitting," etc.) over-promises, to say the least.
Not excruciatingly bad--but close. A truly hateful protagonist -- hateful in that he has NO IDEA he's hateful (but he is).

I've revised my review: I thought one star was the default, but I found out you can clear all stars--this book is that bad.
Daniel Jordon is a speak writer for Stephen Fritzroy at FlowBids. He is getting ready to cash out his options which will mean he will be in a lot of money, he just has to last a few more days. However, after receiving a vasectomy, which is how the book starts out him in the doctors office getting the procedure, he is attacked by three geeks. Unsure of what they really want from him he goes to the grocery store to pick up some peas for relief to the area of his recent procedure. While getting the ...more
Book Review & Giveaway: We’re participating in the Thankful for Books Giveaway Hop, and our giveaway for that hop is Cash Out by Greg Bardsley. I’m dedicating my review of this hilariously funny romp to all the folks I used to work with in the industry. I think it’s also going to reinforce all of the stereotypes about the nuts who live in California but that’s okay because we’re damn proud to be nuts out here. The Los Angeles Times Review of Books called Cash Out “a psychotic head-sc ...more
Dan Jordan, speech writer for the CEO of FlowBid, a Silicon Valley startup. And in three days, he can cash out his stock and be an instant millionaire. Then he and his wife could live the lives they’ve dreamed of. Only one problem, in those three days, he gets a vasectomy, is kidnapped, and threatened to be exposed for some illicit behavior at work. Where it all leads to is one humorous rollercoaster of a ride.

This faced pace comical story is an easy read (it does have raunchy dialogue). Did it
H R Koelling
A really wonderful and entertaining book. I finished it in record time. There are some very well developed and interesting characters, such as Crazy Larry (who reminds me a bit of Serge Storms, from Tim Dorsey novels) and Calhoun (who reminds me, a bit, of Newman on Seinfeld). I laughed very hard at times. The plot is pretty straightforward, but still original and zany. Very well written and poignant at times, too.
I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.
Greg Bardsley's book Cash Out is a delightful read. It is a fast pace, action filled and witty novel. Overall Bardsley has done a splendid job telling us a story full of twists and turns that keeps the reader hanging on every word.
A laugh-out loud, totally original send-up of Silicon Valley. Greg Bardsley is a fresh new talent, and his writing goes down as smoothly as a cold beer on a hot day. Loved this book and can't wait to read Bardsley's follow-up. More, please.
This books claims to be a satire, it's really just terrible. I kept reading hoping it would get better, did not happen. Then i kept reading to see if it would get worse, it did.
Spent most of the time reading this book cringing. Not funny at all, like the author claimed. I'm glad a got an uncorrected proof at a conference and didn't pay for this crap.
Randy Briggs

I enjoyed the hell out of this book. Smart, entertaining, and funny. I can't wit for this author's next novel.
Brandon Nagel
Excellent page turner. Hilarious and action packed. Highly recommended!
Shellie (Layers of Thought)
Original review by John posted at Layers of Thought.

A madcap caper set in the unlikely location of Silicon Valley – an ordinary guy tries to cash out while everyone else seems determined to try and stop him.

John's thoughts on what it's about: Dan Jordan thinks he’s a pretty ordinary guy – an ex-journalist who happened to find himself working as a speechwriter for the CEO of a Silicon Valley startup. The company grows like gangbusters and Dan’s stock options become worth over a millions dollars.
Ian Griffin
Cash Out by Greg Bardsley does for Silicon Valley what Hunter S. Thompson did for Las Vegas. His new novel, Cash Out, is a 400-page gonzo-journalism inspired riff on a bizarre world hidden behind the bland office parks and drab suburbs of the San Francisco Bay Area.

His alter-ego, Dan Jordan, is days away from seeing his $1 million stock options vest, yet the moment he leaves the medical office where's he's just had a vasectomy, things start unraveling. He's kidnapped by a rabid band of redundant
Christa Van
I grabbed this book based on the cover blurb that mentioned “nine kinds of twisted and funny as hell” which sounds pretty good to me. This turned out to be pretty accurate. Some of the characters in this book will stay with me. Larry, the “odd” neighbor who proves to have some pretty important kidnap and “extraction” skills when it comes down to it, and Calhoun who presents as the “special” neighbor living in a 300 square foot mother-in-law apartment who later turns out to be a multi-millionaire ...more
Dan Jordan is having a really bad day. First, in an effort to show his dedication to his wife and his family, he undergoes the dreaded snip. Then, as he is hobbling towards his car for the trip home and a much-needed pack of frozen peas, he is kidnapped by three of the most unlikely criminals. To make matters worse, after his kidnappers let him go, he is assaulted by a muscle-bound man, and assaulted is actually sugar-coating the treatment he receives at the hands of this unknown bulkhead. With ...more
I was in the mood for a lighthearted caper romp and picked this up to slake that particular thirst. I mean, a book that kicks off with a handful of tech support dudes snatching a Silicon Valley PR dude off the street and spiriting him away in a van is guaranteed to capture my attention. And while the book gamely tries to engage in the kind of outsized hi-jinks and colorful criminal bumbling that fans of Carl Hiaasen and Elmore Leonard love, it all too often veers into low comedy.

The gist of the
Roger Smitter
This is a fun read about the misbehavior in the corporate world. The central character is working in a job he hates. He needs to work just long enough to cash in his stocks and live the good life. Unfortunately, lots of things get in the way, including his own misbehaviors. There's nothing new here but it's a good story.

First a short disclaimer, I have known Greg since he was in middle school? May be longer? He was my brother Mike's best friend growing up. He is incredibly special to my entire family and living proof, good guys exist.

I am so proud of Greg. This book was a really fun read. It was silly, twisted, warped, over the top, yet lovable. The characters were hysterical, memorable and amusing. The plot was right out of some caper movie. If you want a book that will make you laugh out loud with its consta
This has a fun low stakes comic Elmore Leonard mixed with Disclosure vibe, which is an original and fun combination. For the most part, these are really great characters in a compelling situation. I write "for the most part" because there are two characters who are impossible to tell apart and redundant to a third character who was way more interesting. To wit, the second third of this book drags because we're with a character named Crazy Larry so deliberately quirky, he becomes a bore. In the l ...more
Ellen Dunne
I actually broke this off after 65% - not often that I do this. On paper it should have been a total winner - fun, set in the online business, insider jokes about the Silicon Valley.... but I utterly failed to see whatever was intended with this book. Did not like the main character too much, for a start, which is fatal, as that made me indifferent towards his goal - cashing in on his stock options for high-flying startup BidFlow and lead the real life with wife and kids, while being chased by s ...more
Jan 06, 2013 Jean rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: People stuck at home, people drunk on a beach
Really? A bro-com? If I wasn't holed up at home with a cold I probably wouldn't have finished this lightweight "romp" set in Silicon Valley. The author has thrown every young professional cliche into the tale of a nice guy who gets pulled into various contrived situations as he is about to cash out his start up stock options. The funny parts are the lead character's repeated forays into examining where he went wrong. You can practically hear the author's editor saying " play up his sensitive sid ...more
A quick read and a good time. Mostly a bunch of fun characters in a not super believable situation. I will say this, though, Greg Bardsley knows about testicle pain. And this book is full of it.
Fun fast read. Silly story but made me laugh, will make you smile...especially if you are in the tech world and live in the hype of Silicon Valley
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Creative Reviews: Win Cash Out by Greg Bardsley! 1 2 Nov 08, 2012 08:40AM  
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Greg Bardsley is the author of the novel, Cash Out, which will be published by Harper Perennial in October 2012.

He has worked as a Silicon Valley speechwriter, a newspaper reporter, a columnist, and a video producer. His ghostwriting for high-profile business executives has appeared in Newsweek, USA Today, and the Financial Times. His short fiction has appeared in Plots with Guns, 3:AM Magazine, O
More about Greg Bardsley...
Cash Out: A Novel D*CKED: Dark Fiction by Dick Cheney Upper Deck Uncage Me Out of the Gutter (#5)

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