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The Average American Marriage: A Novel

3.75 of 5 stars 3.75 · rating details · 265 ratings · 62 reviews

At last, the long-awaited sequel to The Average American Male: a new novel that finds Chad Kultgen's oversexed, blithely raunchy narrator . . . now married with children

Five years ago, Chad Kultgen's first novel, The Average American Male, was launched to a storm of controversy-fueled in part by a viral video campaign that garnered international media attention. An outrage...more

Paperback, 256 pages

Published February 12th 2013 by Harper Perennial

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Mar 16, 2013 Sandi Burch rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 1

A four star review for "The Average American Marriage" by Chad Kultgen

"The Average American Marriage", the long-awaited sequel to Chad Kultgen’s much debated, always controversial "The Average American Male", is a matter-of-fact foray into the male mind and sexual fantasy.

Forthright and unashamed, Chad Kultgen is not afraid to "go there" with blunt language and imagery, offering up a spot-on portrait of how some men view their marriages. "The Average American Marriage" is the book everyone will...more

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May 06, 2013 Sarah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: marriage, adult, relationships, sex

My first Chad Kultgen. I thought I'd pick this up, since I'm getting married soon. Take Charles Bukowski and multiple it by a nasty factor of at least 10. Then you have Kultgen. How have I not read him before? A man detests his wife. He is no longer sexually attracted to her, and every move she makes actually repulses him. So, he fantasizes about every woman he sees....even women he's not attracted to. When that falls short of adequate satisfaction, he strikes up an affair with a younger, more a...more

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May 03, 2013 Dina Saur rated it 1 of 5 stars

I wish I could have the three hours of my life back spent reading this book.

It's not that I'm offended by the sexism or raunch or foul language. It's just that this book does a terrible job of it. Totally unimaginative. The main character is neither an effective, funny polemic; nor does he garner any human sympathy; nor does he provide any nuanced insight into actual life. A failure both as a novel of manners and a polemic -- not sure which one the author was aiming for. The characters are nothi...more

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Feb 13, 2013 Art rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: depravity

If you've not come across Chad Kultgen before, he writes dark, deeply cynical erotic novels heavy on shock value but grounded in philosophy. His genuinely provocative debut The Average American Male spurred on a series of four books dealing with the sexual frustrations of single men, teenagers, families and married couples. In this one the nameless narrator of the first book is back, and now he's struggling to juggle a dying, loveless marriage and the temptation of his 20-year-old intern across...more If you've not come across Chad Kultgen before, he writes dark, deeply cynical erotic novels heavy on shock value but grounded in philosophy. His genuinely provocative debut The Average American Male spurred on a series of four books dealing with the sexual frustrations of single men, teenagers, families and married couples. In this one the nameless narrator of the first book is back, and now he's struggling to juggle a dying, loveless marriage and the temptation of his 20-year-old intern across the Facebook-powered generation gap.

This is basically his fourth variation on the same theme and the variations are diminishing, but then nobody's making us read them all. It'd be easy to dismiss these books as (well-written) porn if they weren't so profound and entertaining, not to mention addictive. Kultgen tries to pass off his world as The Truth About Men And Women That Nobody Wants To Talk About, but I think these books are an outlet for his own frustration more than anything else. Everyone will relate to his characters at least a little, and cynicism will always sound believable, but it's important to remember this is a spank-fantasy world where people say "Thank you for taking me to this. I had a wonderful evening. Fuck my ass".

He could keep churning these out forever and that wouldn't be so bad. I'd probably read them all. But I'm pleased to read the plot summary for the next one, War, to be published in 2014:

"We poisoned our planet. Sucked it dry of natural resources, killed one another in the name of gods that never existed, and survived despite it all. But now, at the very edges of the fabric of space-time, the universe itself is starting to decay... Three warring races -- the Human Empire, the organic Duron, and the cybernetic Luminids -- must band together to stop their mutual destruction, and the future of the galaxy rests on Captain Rhodes and the crew of the H.E. Woden."

Hmm, okay. I wonder if he'll pull it off. It's a good sign that he's apparently not content to keep knocking these out-- but then again, it might be just some other guy with the same name.(less)

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Feb 21, 2013 Grey rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, 21st-century, american, comedy, adult

This book is obscene. This book is obscene, and that's great -- we need more books that are willing to take an plunge into the deep end, and not just for the sake of being raunchy.

This is my first experience with Chad Kultgen's books, but from what I've read, he's no stranger to unapologetic vulgarity. Too many authors shy away from even hinting at the not-so-appropriate areas of life, sexual or otherwise, so a writer who wastes no time getting deep into the nitty-gritty is always a treat.

But a...more This book is obscene. This book is obscene, and that's great -- we need more books that are willing to take an plunge into the deep end, and not just for the sake of being raunchy.

This is my first experience with Chad Kultgen's books, but from what I've read, he's no stranger to unapologetic vulgarity. Too many authors shy away from even hinting at the not-so-appropriate areas of life, sexual or otherwise, so a writer who wastes no time getting deep into the nitty-gritty is always a treat.

But almost every time I sat down to read the book, it felt like I was reading a story that was obscene for obscenity's sake.

"The Average American Marriage: A Novel" is supposed to be a satirical commentary on the nature of the modern marriage; simple enough. It manages to be a pretty deep commentary in its own right, culminating in a speech the main character gives at a college party when he's asked the question teenagers are dying to know: "What's the worst thing about getting old?" The experiences we see him go through, often just as blindly as the kids around him are at navigating their new adult lives, serve to drive his point home in all the right ways. It's vulgar, it's depressing, and it's not all that elegant, but it's realistic.

Unfortunately, that part comes in the last 50 pages. And the last 50 pages of the book are great -- poignant, even. But the first 200 pages -- which are mired in the main character's sexual conquests, sexual thoughts, or just lack of sexual activity -- are slow-going, and often feel pointless.

The main character, our narrator for the story, never actually gets a name. I don't know if that's because this is a sequel or not, but the only way I came to identify him was by just how much he thinks about sex. That's just his character, and presumably, a commentary on American males at large, but even owing to personality, the narrator's thoughts get to be extremely run-of-the-mill and boring.

The book has a very simple style of writing: "he said, she said". There are no big words and no stumbling blocks that make you re-read a page twice. The style is smooth, and works well for a first-person book, but over 250 pages, I found it boring.

Each chapter is only a a few pages long, but when the tedium of the narrator's sex life is broken up only by toilet humour, it makes for a tough read. Up until the last quarter of the book, I felt like I was slogging through each page.

I think this book could have managed a great balance between frank obscenity and the real message it was going for; I just don't think it did a very good job of that. This book is probably best suited for past readers of Chad Kultgen's works, or readers who find happily crass books to be the highlight of the modern age. It's an appealing style for some, but it's wasn't personally my thing.

I received the book freely through Goodreads' First Reads.(less)

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Dec 29, 2012 Kevin rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Feb 19, 2013 Yair Bezalel rated it 4 of 5 stars

I've been following Chad Kultgen for some years now. He's one of the few authors of whom I can say I've read every one of his books. I remember reading The Average American Male on break and after work when I was working at the UCLA student store. I remember reading it in two sittings and laughing, actually laughing, which is a hard thing for a book to make me do and yet still take it seriously, which I certainly did for this one. I didn't buy it (sorry Chad) but I did buy his next book The Lie...more I've been following Chad Kultgen for some years now. He's one of the few authors of whom I can say I've read every one of his books. I remember reading The Average American Male on break and after work when I was working at the UCLA student store. I remember reading it in two sittings and laughing, actually laughing, which is a hard thing for a book to make me do and yet still take it seriously, which I certainly did for this one. I didn't buy it (sorry Chad) but I did buy his next book The Lie and enjoyed it (though not quite as much as its predecessor as it seemed to let go of some of the comedy in lieu of some Bret Easton Ellis style collegiate emptiness).

I bought and read his next book Men, Women and Children just before I went off to live abroad for a year and change. It was good, very good. The book, not the year. To me it was what The Lie could have been if it had just been played out and developed a bit more.

And now here we are at the sequel to his first novel: The Average American Marriage. And again, I laughed my ass off while still taking it what it had to say seriously. The nameless protagonist from the first novel has returned having been married for a few years to the once hot and now quite frigid woman he left his old girlfriend for. He is, more or less, where he was at years before. He masturbates in secret, attempts sex with a, now, wife who couldn't be less interested. Has two kids that he appears to be a surprisingly good father to. He works at a job that doesn't seem to fulfill him in anyway other than financial. And, as Vonnegut once said, so it goes. Or rather, so it went, until (spoiler) he hires a beautiful college intern.

The actual progression of the story is fairly standard. (Spoilers, last warning) nameless man cheats and cheats quite severely with Holly the intern and destroys his marriage. Eventually he kicks Holly to the curb and begins the slow process of reconciling himself not only to his wife but his life within the modern incarnation of American marriage.

What Kultgen is a master of here is voice and the depiction of feeling. What a man goes through as he contemplates ruining his marriage for a quick but reinvigorating fling. He doesn't just paint his female characters as negatives, his wife is unattractive and the intern is attractive so there it's justified. Rather, Kultgen depicts the drudgery and the slow and miserable process of physical desire denied and denied again under the strain of a marriage well into, I believe, its half decade mark, and shows the fountain of life, of the reawakening inherent in really good, really passionate sex.

But where Kultgen sort of slips is the mistaking of pleasure for happiness as Roger Ebert stated reviewing Todd Solondz's film Happiness. Though anything but a psychologist I can see a lack when it's this ever-present. The characters here, up to and including the protagonist, don't seem to be happy. And that makes sense. Happiness is, while maybe not the most complex thing, something nonetheless earned, which in this modern America of quick fixes, instant gratification, and turning away from the more than the instantly attainable, something incredibly elusive.

And the characters seem to cobble together something resembling but not not actually happiness. Facebook, video games, parties, drugs, all the standards new and old, of ritual and instant gratification are here. It's a heavy handed satire that makes modern life less than attractive but at the same time bracing in its honesty.

Most people, especially after some of Kultgen's previous works, may accuse him of misogyny or, at the very least, favoring the males of his cast over the females. And, well, he does. But that doesn't mean the women are whores and mothers and the males dashing rouges chained down by their insanity. Everyone is brought down here by the doldrums of modern life. And if the men are depicted in a more sympathetic light it's only because, so I read it, of something akin to what was found in Fight Club (film and novel) that men have been so thoroughly emasculated and even destroyed a bit by the increasingly rapid progress of the modern world that their lack is just more obvious than that of the women.

What's left from all this? Night darkest before the dawn? No, not quite. As the protagonist points out at a certain juncture in the book, America is not in the best of straits. But the night isn't all black. The fact that the protagonist is able to be a (mostly) good father to his kids and a.) appreciate the sexual power of a woman while b.) return (grudgingly) to his imperfect but loving (on her side it would seem also grudgingly) wife, says that while people may not always, or even ever live up to what they're truly capable, there are certain near absolute goods that we as people can still wander our way towards if we just keep ourselves open to them...sometimes.

Anyway, it's a good book, fucking hilarious, and the humor goes hand in expert hand with the acidic critique of the modern american life.(less)

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Apr 30, 2013 Jodie rated it 5 of 5 stars

I won this through Goodreads first reads, and I cant tell you just how grateful I was. This was of the most funnest books I have read in a long time. How I missed this wonderful author I dont know, But boy am I glad I finally got the opportunity to do so.
I found this amazing. I was laughing my ass off from the first page and laughed to the end. I just loved the dirty man humor. Being one of the only females in my large family I always had more of a males sense of humor and this was right up my a...more

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Feb 20, 2013 Joanna rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

In all honesty... That is pretty much the key phrase in this book. While I can see where most people would get offended by this book, if I could write a companion novel based on what women are thinking about constantly, it would read pretty close to this one. Towards the beginning of the book, the author is describing sex with his wife and how much an episiotomy scar bothered him. Honestly, his wife was probably thinking along the same lines! "Do I look the same? Is that a bad view of my @ss? Di...more

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Mar 08, 2013 Caiti rated it 4 of 5 stars

So this book is written pretty graphically, not only in terms of language but also in terms of honesty. While reading this book. I felt that I was really inside the psyche of certainly many "average" American males. With that said I loved the fact that this book provided a candid snapshot of what so many think on a daily basis about love, relationships, and the boredom and excitement that are a part of all of the above. If you can get past the gratuitous sexuality that composes the majority of t...more

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Feb 24, 2013 Shawn rated it 3 of 5 stars

A brutally honest portrayal of the vapid and conflicted lives of unsuccesfuly married American (and Canadian) men. What makes the book good is the author's ability to reveal the emotional struggle of being with ones kids and family versus the biological urge of procreating with every attractive woman a man sees when his wife has lost interest in the sexual aspect of the marriage. The writing style is simplistic and direct which makes the work feel more truthful than it already is. You are plugge...more

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Mar 05, 2013 Isaiah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads, personal-library

I got this from the Goodreads First Read giveaway (not sure if that is the exact name or not, but close enough).

I was really excited about the sequel to The Average American Male. I reread the first one to get ready to fully enjoy The Average American Marriage. I am sad to say that the first book was better. The second was not bad and I would readily read it again, but it does not have the same feel as the first book. This may be a tactic the author planned as the main character has grown older...more I got this from the Goodreads First Read giveaway (not sure if that is the exact name or not, but close enough).

I was really excited about the sequel to The Average American Male. I reread the first one to get ready to fully enjoy The Average American Marriage. I am sad to say that the first book was better. The second was not bad and I would readily read it again, but it does not have the same feel as the first book. This may be a tactic the author planned as the main character has grown older and has gotten married, but it also dampened the spirit of the book a bit.

The plot line for the most part is exactly in line with the characters and I was happy about that. The writing style was similar to the first book and still was the main reason I liked the book. The humor was still there, but felt more tired.

I am always worried when there is a gay character on a novel (especially if the characters are as unlovable as this main character is for most of the series). However Carlos is handled well and so is the idea of polyamory. I was very pleased that the author was able to have these in his novels without taking away from the plot line or doing them injustices. Despite the narrator the author is able to discuss sensitive issues without offending (well maybe small offenses, but that is how the narrator works).

I am genuinely surprised at the ending and the motivation behind the narrator's actions. I am not too sure how I feel about how things ended, they seem slightly out of character for the narrator. However, the rest of the novel is very much the same sex living, womanizing, jerk that I came to resent and love in the first novel, albeit slightly older and a bit more domestic.

The narrator made me think things I wish I had never thought. He made me angry. He got close to offending me. This narrator is overall unforgettable. I recommend this book, but I highly recommend the first book. I am tempted to say I am eagerly awaiting a third novel in this series, but I am afraid that age will take the narrator from us and leave the books dry. This is a good ending point for the series and does give some closure to the lives of the characters. (less)

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Feb 04, 2013 Destiny Rodriguez rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 3

This is a great story about the average american marriage of to his wife Alyna. He talks about the
lack of sexual activity in there marriage since their two children Jane and Andy been born. frustration with the lack of sex in there marriage, has turned him into a cocky man who imagines a sexual encounter with every woman in front of him. Finding himself bored with his every day routine, gets off of work at six. Home by six forty-five. Eats dinner with Alyna and kids at seven, kids get baths righ...more

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May 20, 2013 Emily rated it 3 of 5 stars

this was a pretty irreverent view on marriage in a guy's perspective. i read this because i was curious and seeking/researching male POV on relationships. it was interesting and depressing and funny all at the same time. i wouldn't reccommend to anyone who is offended by bad words or detailed and naughty sexual encounters and adultry. chad kultgen obviously detests the institution of marriage. it was pretty stereotypical and left me with that blah feeling at the end,but even still, i enjoyed the...more

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Feb 14, 2013 Borah rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: complicated-feelings, cynical, it-was-meh, satire, to-review

I pretty much hated this book.

You will notice that, despite that, I gave it three stars.

"Why?"

Well, as much as I hate it--as much as I was alternately over it, bored by (honestly, at some point the cursing and misogyny just gets woefully dull and repetitive), and angry at it--I think the novel does something good. It made me confront myself--my feelings, my beliefs about "average" or "normal" society.

It was a long and messy thing, and I am definitely not dragging you in unless you want to go t...more

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Mar 10, 2013 Mentor rated it 5 of 5 stars

This is classic Chad Kultgen. If you read The Average American Male, this is more of the same, which is exactly what most of his readers want.
I read everything Kultgen published.
He is one of those love-or-hate writers with a strong bias to subjects some people may find gross, disturbing or plain childish.
But indubitably, he knows exactly how to describe the way most of men of my generation think and will never admit. His talent is even more obvious when he writes in first person, like in this...more

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Feb 21, 2013 Peter Knox rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: fiction, kindle

You would think this humorous, deadpan, distanced, nuanced, oversexed style would be difficult for Chad to maintain for all of his books, but you'd be wrong - this is just as entertaining as its predecessor and the rest of Chad's catalog. It's fantasy that seems realistic enough to keep you hooked through the dramatics, lending credibility to the out-there inner thoughts of men wondering "what-if". Lets's laugh out loud (always difficult for a book to pull off), and pretend that my life never wa...more

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Mar 10, 2013 Robin rated it 3 of 5 stars

I reluctantly give this book a 3 although for my reading pleasure it was more of a 1 as it's really not my kind of novel. I admire the writer for "telling it like it is" and being searingly candid but it was a little too graphic for me. If I were unmarried and read this thinking this really was an "average" marriage, I would probably run screaming from the nuptials.

That all being said, the guy can write and there were times it was just too painful--or sickening--to read but guys who like Max Tuc...more

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Mar 23, 2013 Kristi rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

read the complete review at http://bulliesbooksmoney.blogspot.com...

I received and uncorrected proof from Goodreads firstreads program. I am unsure of what this is; if it is fiction, or biographical, I believe it’s fiction based on real life. There are coarse language and sex scenes so this book is definitely not for everyone.
I did actually enjoy reading this book. In this book we explore the life and marriage of supposedly an average American guy. I would like to add to that though as being an...more

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Feb 21, 2013 Jessica rated it 4 of 5 stars

Won in a Goodreads giveaway.

It was cool to get a male perspective into a marriage. And I can appreciate that. Thank you Mr. Kultgen for really instilling in me through your novel the desire to never get married! It was uh, captivating? The first chapter really will jump out and grab you, especially if you haven't read any of his other works, like myself. I don't know how to accurately describe my reaction. I was kind of mad, kind of disgusted, kind of intrigued, but ultimately understanding. If...more

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Jan 25, 2013 Keisha Smith rated it 3 of 5 stars

As a woman (and something of a feminist), I think I'm supposed to hate this book. At the outset, it was like roadkill: repulsive yet fascinating. By the middle, though, I'd embraced the raunchy,obnoxious,unflinching portrait of an id-driven male psyche.

I read the ARC a few months ago and truth be told, I remember the broad story arc but very little of the plot. Still, I found it refreshingly in-your-face and memorable for some of its more colorful vignettes.

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Mar 09, 2013 Abby Mulvihill rated it 4 of 5 stars

If you have trouble with hearing or uttering obscenities, or reading hyper-sexual dialogue, then this book is not for you. If you are the opposite, have at it. Kultgen is a master of parody and crass humor. You will either love it or hate it. I find his writings to be entertaining and shocking. With that said, I liked the book, but have a strong preference for another novel of his called "The Lie".

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Apr 04, 2013 Katie rated it 3 of 5 stars

Ouch. This book is pretty disturbing but it definitely kept my interest. It's very sexually explicit but I think it has a good message overall in that wives need to continue to have sex with their husbands, etc. Even though some level of complacency is inevitable. Props to this guy for being so honest. Would not recommend reading if your marriage is in any way unstable.

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May 21, 2013 Erika rated it 2 of 5 stars

The narrator's thoughts are my worst nightmare. Do husbands really find episiodomy scars disgusting? He found nothing attractive about his wife just memories of her younger, pre baby self. He finds comfort in her familiarity and appreciates her as a mother while mentally critizing everything about her.

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Feb 22, 2013 Lacie Carmody rated it 3 of 5 stars

Less vile than "Average American Male", but just as well written. Definitely depressing however, not a feel good book but so realistic you cannot help but walk away telling yourself your life will never be like the words on these pages when deep down, a nagging thought tells you otherwise.

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Mar 29, 2013 Courtney rated it 3 of 5 stars

I picked up this book as a beach read. It had short chapters and it did the trick. As a female and wife, I suppose it could have been offensive; but I thought it was funny and probably true. It has been compared to Tucker Max's books but I did not find it to be as vulgar.

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Feb 21, 2013 Carly Larson rated it 3 of 5 stars

While following in typical Kultgen obscenity, you feel like you've read this exact book before, even though it just came out. While still entertaining in its anti-marriage philosophy, and explicit sex scenes, does not provide the fresh Kultgen read hoped for.

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Mar 04, 2013 Leah Hortin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

There was something about this book that I didn't like quite as much as the first... I think it has to do with the fact that I am married and greatly fear falling into this "average" American marriage trap that Kultgen so accurately portrays (IMO, obvs). It is slightly less raunchy than the Average American Male but only slightly so. It is interesting to see a marriage in the eyes of the guy and I found myself yearning to hear from his wife. Kultgen has a pretty clear message here and it is defi...more

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Feb 15, 2013 Alicia Mehlig rated it 5 of 5 stars

Chad speaks the truth! If you're a woman or a man and find this book gross or shocking its just further proof that you can't handle the reality of what men , MOST men actually think and say , it's genius and this kind of raw honesty is needed

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Feb 13, 2013 Russell Davis rated it 3 of 5 stars

With chapter names like "Blowjob Ass Cramp" and "Shitdick" it's hard not to point out how incredibly puerile and crass this book can be. Still gets 3 stars, and I'll probably read everything he writes.

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About Chad Kultgen

After two months in his birthplace Spokane, WA Chad Kultgen spent the majority of his life in a suburb of Dallas, TX called Lewisville. After high school, he turned down a full ride baseball scholarship to Trinity University in San Antonio, TX to pursue writing. He moved to Los Angeles, CA where he joined the likes of George Lucas, Robert Zemekis, and Ron Howard as a graduate of the prestigious Sc...more

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