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Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager
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Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent's Guide to the New Teenager

3.91 of 5 stars 3.91  ·  rating details  ·  743 ratings  ·  165 reviews
A brand new edition of the bestselling guide to raising teenagers

When Anthony E. Wolf's witty and compassionate guide to raising adolescents was first published, its amusing title and fresh approach won it widespread admiration. Beleaguered parents breathed sighs of relief and gratitude. Now Dr. Wolf has revised and updated his bestseller to tackle the changes of the past...more
ebook, 240 pages
Published August 21st 2002 by Farrar, Straus and Giroux (first published 1991)
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I'm currently raising my fourth teenager, so you'd think I'd have it figured out by now. Well, I don't ... and I found this book really helpful. There's a pretty simple message running through every chapter. State your rules and values, stay firm, and accept that you can't fully control them. Your voice will eventually become part of their conscience, and they'll probably turn out all right.
Perfect! When I finish this I'll know alllll about raising a pre-teen daughter and son! I think it should come with a subscription to the Wine of the Month club or something equally helpful.
Jan 15, 2009 Robyn marked it as to-read  ·  review of another edition
Obviously, I need help with parenting so I keep trying to read books such as these which continues to offend my children.
This book reminded me of Rilke: master of simultaneous attraction and repulsion. For Rilke, it was women. For teenagers, it's their parents. The mouthing is almost a kind of teething: at the same time they mouth off to signal their independence, they do it obnoxiously as a way to maintain their childish status. They both do and do not want their independence (this translates to wanting freedom with only the responsibilities they recognize.) They want their parents' unconditional love and they ar...more
I found this short book incredibly helpful. Wolf pulls no punches on what it's like to live with the contemporary American teenager. This quote perfectly sums up what it is like to live with my 13-year old son: "For those who have never raised a teenage child, it is hard to imagine the day-to-day swings between crazed frenzy and genuine tranquility. Some of the time things are calm, even beautiful. You love your kid and he or she seems just fine. But at other times, perhaps five minutes later, y...more
The main idea in this book is that adolescents are in a constant, dramatic struggle between their "baby self" that wants to snuggle and play games at home, and their "independent self" that wants to be far away from home on their own. The result is regular conflict so that engagement with parents comes in the emotionally safer form of conflict and arguing. Parents need to just stick to their clearly laid out rules, understand that they won't be adhered to 100%, and that they can't be enforced, j...more
Aug 10, 2010 Jaclyn rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Jaclyn by: Rosalind Englander-Calo
Our family counselor loaned this book to my husband & I. I have mixed thoughts on it overall. I liked it because the anectdotes were humourous and relatable. I also liked that basically the message of this book is "relax, you can't really screw your kid up that badly and even if they are revealing a worrying trend now, as long as you continue to show you care, they'll likely turn out ok in a few years." It's a book that I'm convinced our couselor suggested we read for reassurance; and as a g...more
Meryl Evans
Recommended reading for parents of teens and tweens. Most parents will discover the arguments they have with their teens are typical and the author gives suggestions on what works and what won't work. A lot of it is common sense advice, but at least you know for sure what things to keep on doing and what things will be a waste of time.

The witty writing makes this a breezy read that only helps you better absorb and understand the content. Wolf shares dialogue that many parents will wonder if he w...more
Lenny Husen
This was excellent. A must-read for any parent of a difficult teenager (which is pretty much every teenager). How anyone could give this less than 5 stars, I don't know, except that this book doesn't offer any pat solutions to the problem of being a good parent to someone who treats you with disrespect and who is irrational. If you are expecting any solutions to the situation other than time, this book might disappoint you. But it is one of the few good "self-help" books I have ever come across....more
I read this book when my son hit puberty (he's now 25) and have since raised three teens. I recommend it to ANYONE who even mentions they deal with teens! I used to read "Your One Year Old", "Your Two Year Old", etc and this does the same thing - shows you what is perfectly normal for your teen (son or daughter) to be doing and what to do about it!
Humorous, insightful, helpful but a little dated. If written today there would be more neuroscience and brain development discussion. Best part of my copy was marginalia and underlined phrases by previous readers. E.g. "Lectures do very little," "Parents must not allow themselves to get sucked into ongoing battles."
This author seems to hate teenagers and advocates a level of condescension that I can't support. The book was uplifting in one sense-- the author gives case studies and examples of teens who were so poorly socialized that I felt cheered that my son is just a little moody and reticent.
Kressel Housman
An excellent explanation as to why teenagers act the way they do. I found the girls' explanation close to my experience, so I trust the author's word on the boys'. But I could have done without all the curse words. Yeah, many teenagers talk like that, but how much do I need to read it?
this was a load of crap with little or no statistics to back up his theories. most of the sample dialogue between teens and parents were so vile, you cannot help but be comforted that at least you didn't inherit that demon child.

at some point he says that teens will lie and just get over it. when a child throws out 2 notice that informs his parent that he's failing a class in school and then lies - repeatedly - about ever receiving such notices, the author says the real issue is the failure, not...more
Calm LykaBomb
One of the few "How To Raise a Teenager" books that has really reached me. On par with the "What to Expect..." series, but with a wry, accurate and earthy sense of humor that is essential to surviving your darling child's adolescence without incurring a felony record.
This is a terrific parenting book about parenting teens. Ultimately optimistic, it doesn't pull any punches about what we are all in for in the next few years. A wise mom recomended it to me as her key to sanitity during those rough years.
This is an amusing look at Teenagers. I cannot remember getting any specific advice from this book, but I did gain a sense of peace - a feeling of "this is normal" and a reminder to laugh about it, not let it get to me.
I was impressed by how extremely realistic this author is about teenagers, and the best ways to influence their behavior.
Excellent resource in dealing with teens. I highly recommend this to parents of teens (especially girl teens)
The best thing about this book is the title. And it is a good title.

I started reading this book in the car outside my sons' school and decided that, recent evidence in the shower notwithstanding, my teenager was not a nascent man or boy but a girl. He then got into the car and did all the things that it said boys don't do. Still a girl then. Ah, so one of those books (usually they have me looking into my knickers to see if there is more there than I remember)

However, there are insights here and...more
Dec 10, 2012 Christel rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Parents of older children i.e. 7 to 10 years old
Shelves: christel
As with most books of this type; you love some of their ideas and then you wonder what world they are living in. I really appreciated the author's continued reminder that teenagers can onlty think about the moment right now. They are unable to think more then 10 minutes from now and then it's only about themselves. No matter what you try, don't expect a teenager to suddenly change and think about you, your needs, and wishes for them as their parent. He reminds parents that the best thing you can...more
Raising teenagers is definitely a new and different experience, no matter how many children you have. My husband and I both read this together and it was great to laugh at the extreme examples used, but to also realize that we are doing okay as parents. Teenagers will be teenagers and with our limits and love, they will still act like teenagers but learn to be responsible as well. Biggest word of advice still is . . . patience.
Courtney Rene
This is not a book you can just sit down and read. There is so much information going on you kind of need to read a chapter and then put it away and think about what it said for a day or so. It covers mouthy-ness, teens dealing with divorce, disobediance, lying, the electronic age and our children, drugs, drinking, sneaking out, name it, its in there. In my experiance with this book I found that some of the information was very helpful and informative and some I didn't particularly agree with. H...more
I really disliked this book on so many levels. I thought it was disrespectful toward teenagers as well as parents and families, not backed up with any hard or scientific evidence, filled instead with anecdotal stories and opinions from the author. There are so many better books to read if you are looking for good advice navigating the teenage years with grace, compassion and laughter.
When I first started reading this book I was thinking that it came off "dated", hence irrelevant. As it turned out, it didn't matter; the message was still the same. There is no mention of smart phones, texting, cyberbullying nor any of the other "app" communication devices. There is timeless information about what is going on in the minds and bodies of teens (rejection, peer pressure, hormones, fear, etc.). After I started to concentrate on the lessons the author was speaking about, and not the...more
David Espinoza
This was OK. The first half was pretty obvious psychology 101 stuff explaining teenagers. He eventually got into a little "how-to" and some great suggestions with dealing with conflict. This is a nice little supplement to other books. I would say find some information on compassionate communication.
Michelle Cummings
I have been having some issues with my 15 year old son, and this book helped me out immensely. It helped me understand the teenage mind, and to realize that what we were experiencing was nothing out of the normal. It really helped me with my perspective on the situation.

What would have made it a 5 star book, is if it had some helpful hints on what to do in certain situations.
A truly great book for parents of adolescents/teens. First written in 1991, it's been updated recently. This is apparently a seminal book in the family counseling/educational world, but I had never heard of it. A book club friend sent it to me since my oldest hits 13 this month.

I learned a lot in this book. More about what's coming and how I can, as a parent, enjoy the years, but still hold my ground when necessary. I learned a lot about boys and what they go through during this phase, which I...more
This is really a fun book, teaching you about the differences between how we were raised, and how our children are being brought up. It showed"real life"examples of kids speaking to their parents, to a counselor, parents talking to the counselor , and differences in their viewpoints. It its not only about teens, but also adolescents, and I see my children in many of the examples.
The example that I most empathize with is how kids act up at home, and we feel like they will NEVER survive (will we...more
Jennifer Henningsen
This book was recommended to my by my friend whom is a counselor. My husband stole it from me and read it in a night. It is explaining why teenagers act the way they do. Hopefully I will get some good tips!
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New teenager, new reason to REREAD this book. 3 25 Apr 10, 2009 05:30AM  
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Published in the UK as Tony Wolf
More about Anthony E. Wolf...
I'd Listen to My Parents If They'd Just Shut Up: What to Say and Not Say When Parenting Teens The Secret of Parenting: How to Be in Charge of Today's Kids--from Toddlers to Preteens--Without Threats or Punishment "Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me!": The Solution to Sibling Bickering It's Not Fair, Jeremy Spencer's Parents Let Him Stay up All Night!: A Guide to the Tougher Parts of Parenting Why Can't You Shut Up?: How We Ruin Relationships--How Not To

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