Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve
With eloquence and accessibility, Dr. Aaron T. Beck analyzes the actual dialogue of troubled couples to illuminate the most common problems in marriage--the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication.
Paperback, 432 pages
Published October 18th 1989 by Harper Perennial
(first published 1988)
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I read this in preparation for CBT with couples, which I have yet to truly encounter. I found it fascinated and learned a lot about relationships overall and how easy it is to misconstrue and misinterpret those little things, making them in to big things.
One of the main challenges in marriage are the unwritten rules/expectations that each spouse has for the other – everything from how to give and receive love, to how much time one is allowed with friends, to the proper way to raise children, to how much time to spend with the in-laws on vacation, to any other number of things. Expectations that are never voiced allowed create havoc in a relationship precisely because they go unspoken. Furthermore, they lead to criticisms about the other person t...more
Feb 27, 2014 Isaac rated it 5 of 5 stars
I am giving this book 5 stars because it contains, what I feel is, crucial information on how to deal with a very common issue in relationships. I do feel that this 400 page book would have been much better as a 200 page book. However, since Chapter #1 – The Power Of Negative Thinking and Chapter #13 – Changing Your Own Distortions are so vital and crucial for a healthy relationship it gets 5 stars.
Qué es lo que tratamos de decir y qué es lo que nuestra pareja entiende? Mucho más complejo de lo que creemos. La comunicación defectuosa es una de las principales causas de ruptura. Si se detecta a tiempo y se habla más para describir lo que damos a entender tanto con el lenguaje hablado y actitudes se puede llegar a una relación de pareja más armoniosa. Me ha ayudado en lo personal para concientizar las fallas en transmitir el mensaje que deseo hacia mi pareja y a su vez a hacer el ejercicio d...more
If you're into Cognitive Therapy, and if you want to use it to treat couples, this is a good book to read. Aaron Beck founded CBT, and while I disagree with the fundamental worldview on which it rests, some of its techniques are useful in treating clients. It's an enjoyable read for someone with an interest in the mental health field, but if you're someone struggling with a troubled marriage, I would encourage you to check out John Gottman instead.
The content is a little heavy. I felt like I was in a therapy session (which makes sense because the author is a psychiatrist). I did enjoy this book though because it helped me to better understand what our brain is doing when trying to resolve conflicts in a relationship. He also offers several suggestions on how to overcome those conflicts and misunderstandings. He provides several case studies to back up his suggestions.
Jun 30, 2008 Michael Adamson rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone
Recommended to Michael by: Self
A very important book. I recommend this book to may of the couiples I do marriage and relational therapy with. This offers several great steps and solutions in a very positve and uplifting manner.
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“When married people develop such an intense but inappropriate fixation to somebody other than their mate, they may be driven to jeopardize or even destroy a reasonable marital relationship. In the heat of passion, they seem incapable of attaching any real weight to the potentially disastrous consequences of their infatuation—the possible breakup of their marriage. They cannot “turn off” their infatuation even if they want to! Yet, when enough time has elapsed without their seeing “the other woman (or man),” they generally find that their infatuation dies down.”More quotes…