Goodreads helps you keep track of books you want to read.
Start by marking “Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve” as Want to Read:
Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve
Enlarge cover
Rate this book
Clear rating
Open Preview

Love Is Never Enough: How Couples Can Overcome Misunderstandings, Resolve Conflicts, and Solve

4.0 of 5 stars 4.00  ·  rating details  ·  211 ratings  ·  22 reviews
With eloquence and accessibility, Dr. Aaron T. Beck analyzes the actual dialogue of troubled couples to illuminate the most common problems in marriage--the power of negative thinking, disillusionment, rigid rules and expectations, and miscommunication.
Paperback, 432 pages
Published October 18th 1989 by Harper Perennial (first published 1988)
more details... edit details

Friend Reviews

To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

Reader Q&A

To ask other readers questions about Love Is Never Enough, please sign up.

Be the first to ask a question about Love Is Never Enough

This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Add this book to your favorite list »

Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 824)
filter  |  sort: default (?)  |  rating details
One of the main challenges in marriage are the unwritten rules/expectations that each spouse has for the other – everything from how to give and receive love, to how much time one is allowed with friends, to the proper way to raise children, to how much time to spend with the in-laws on vacation, to any other number of things. Expectations that are never voiced allowed create havoc in a relationship precisely because they go unspoken. Furthermore, they lead to criticisms about the other person t ...more
Melissa Lee-tammeus
I read this in preparation for CBT with couples, which I have yet to truly encounter. I found it fascinated and learned a lot about relationships overall and how easy it is to misconstrue and misinterpret those little things, making them in to big things.
Bethany Womack
Oct 02, 2012 Bethany Womack marked it as to-read
Shelves: counseling
Recommended by Dr. Sells
(Cognitive Therapy) is Never Enough.
I am giving this book 5 stars because it contains, what I feel is, crucial information on how to deal with a very common issue in relationships. I do feel that this 400 page book would have been much better as a 200 page book. However, since Chapter #1 – The Power Of Negative Thinking and Chapter #13 – Changing Your Own Distortions are so vital and crucial for a healthy relationship it gets 5 stars.
Kaori Flores
Qué es lo que tratamos de decir y qué es lo que nuestra pareja entiende? Mucho más complejo de lo que creemos. La comunicación defectuosa es una de las principales causas de ruptura. Si se detecta a tiempo y se habla más para describir lo que damos a entender tanto con el lenguaje hablado y actitudes se puede llegar a una relación de pareja más armoniosa. Me ha ayudado en lo personal para concientizar las fallas en transmitir el mensaje que deseo hacia mi pareja y a su vez a hacer el ejercicio d ...more
Very CBT. Kind of interesting, a bit dated and conservative in a few places, but probably still useful
Scott Rachui
If you're into Cognitive Therapy, and if you want to use it to treat couples, this is a good book to read. Aaron Beck founded CBT, and while I disagree with the fundamental worldview on which it rests, some of its techniques are useful in treating clients. It's an enjoyable read for someone with an interest in the mental health field, but if you're someone struggling with a troubled marriage, I would encourage you to check out John Gottman instead.
The content is a little heavy. I felt like I was in a therapy session (which makes sense because the author is a psychiatrist). I did enjoy this book though because it helped me to better understand what our brain is doing when trying to resolve conflicts in a relationship. He also offers several suggestions on how to overcome those conflicts and misunderstandings. He provides several case studies to back up his suggestions.
Isabelle Bishop
I truely believe that if I had not read this book, my marraige would have failed. I broke the cycle of disfunctional living by following the advice in this book and others. I highly recommend it for anyone about to get married.
Jul 23, 2008 Nonakasparov is currently reading it
Shelves: selfhelp
Despite the rather corny title, I hold out some hope that the author may have some feasible tips for communication. This is basically about overcoming problems faced by many (most?) couples.
Rachele Ludvigson
Apr 03, 2008 Rachele Ludvigson is currently reading it
I really like self-help books. This book is great in helping to overcome marriages little problems which we all have. It is helping me to see what I can do to become a better communicator.
Cesar Bianchi
This book is amazing,it is a psychological book that tells the truth about relationship and helps you sort out why your relationship has problems.. awesome book...
Fredrick Danysh
A relationship manual for couples. It addresses many of the common problems in relationships and offers suggestions for improvement of those relationships.
good book for couples having problems - gets a little technical at times but if you skip the chapters that don't apply it can be helpful
Lots of sound advice focused around issues of psychology, not spirituality.
Older book with a lot of great information ;-)
Rolandas Razma
Gets bit technical sometimes, but good book
Ana Paula
a grengo book.
Wish I had read this a long time ago.
Nathaniel Smith
Great couples resource.
teaching book
Books For
Books For marked it as to-read
Nov 29, 2015
Ani marked it as to-read
Nov 27, 2015
Peggy1993 marked it as to-read
Nov 25, 2015
Kevin Guiltenane
Kevin Guiltenane marked it as to-read
Nov 24, 2015
Ilona marked it as to-read
Nov 22, 2015
Lizzt is currently reading it
Nov 22, 2015
Edie marked it as to-read
Nov 21, 2015
« previous 1 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 27 28 next »
There are no discussion topics on this book yet. Be the first to start one »
  • Cognitive Therapy: Basics and Beyond
  • The Psychology of Love
  • Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
  • Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After
  • A Couple's Guide to Communication
  • Know What You Don't Know: How Great Leaders Prevent Problems Before They Happen
  • The Art of Empathy: A Training Course in Life's Most Essential Skill
  • Mom's House, Dad's House: Making Two Homes for Your Child
  • Billion-Dollar Lessons: What You Can Learn from the Most Inexcusable Business Failures of the Last 25 Years
  • Intimate Connections
  • Your Drug May Be Your Problem: How & Why to Stop Taking Psychiatric Medications
  • Fighting for Your Marriage: Positive Steps for Preventing Divorce and Preserving a Lasting Love
  • The Problem of the Puer Aeternus (Studies in Jungian Psychology by Jungian Analysts, 87)
  • After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
  • What You Can Change and What You Can't: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement
  • How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It: Finding Love Beyond Words
  • Falling in Love: Why We Choose the Lovers We Choose
  • We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love

Share This Book

“What has stripped their conversation of its richness and enjoyments? First, despite the apparent success of their numerous discussions, they may have arrived at the solutions to family problems at a great cost to the relationship. In many relationships, a whole sequence of little kinks gradually adds up to produce stress. These kinks may also be a sign of important differences between the partners in their outlook and values—differences that their surface agreements never resolve. Thus, the free flow of conversation is inhibited by the threat of intrusions of unresolved conflicts. Perfectly tuned conversations are interrupted by signals of possible discord that introduce static into the communications. Second, although the partners may get along when they are dealing with practical problems, their conversation may be devoid of references to the more pleasurable aspects of the relationship. The partners have not learned to demarcate problem-solving discussions from pleasant conversations. Thus when one partner starts a conversation with a loving comment, the other may decide that this is a good time to bring up some conflict. As a result, there is a dearth of conversation that revolves simply around expressions of caring, sharing, and loving.” 0 likes
“Sometimes a spouse, in trying to relieve a partner’s distress, accomplishes just the opposite. Judy is an artist. One evening she was quite upset by her problems in getting ready for a show, and she started to tell her husband, Cliff, about them. She wanted his support, encouragement, and sympathy. But Cliff instead fired off a barrage of instructions: “One, you’ve got to get all the people together in the group. Two, you have to call anyone else who is involved. Three, you want to get your accountant in on it—check with the bank to see how much money you still have. Four, you could contact the PR people. Five, call the gallery and see about the time.” Judy felt rejected by Cliff and thought, “He doesn’t care about how I feel. He just wants to get me off his back.” But in his eyes, Cliff thought that he was filling the bill. He had given her his best advice—he thought that he was being supportive. To Judy, however, Cliff was being controlling, not supportive. She was seeking sympathy and emotional rapport, while he was tuned in to problem solving. How can you find the appropriate channel? One point” 0 likes
More quotes…