The Amateur Marriage: A Novel
by Anne Tyler
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Read in November, 2005
It’s about mismatched married. Michael and Pauline have very different personalities, which is actually will be alright if they can take the best out from each other and make their personalities into something that complement each other. Instead, knowing how different they are, they expect their partner to change and fulfill their expectation. Both of them were so self-center, even when their daughter escaped, they were still not trying to accept their partner as they were and learn to life to...more
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Read in January, 2005
recommends it for:
women who've been married for 7+ years
I read this book a few years ago - but it has stuck with me. The book is a portrait of a marriage between two incredibly different people. The woman is very emotional, with a flair for the dramatic. The man is very non-emotional. It paints a picture of so many marriages I have seen.
I think there comes a point in marriage where a woman realizes that she married a GUY. Sounds weird to say - but there was a part of me that imagined my husband would enjoy shopping and fashion and cry at the ope...more
I think there comes a point in marriage where a woman realizes that she married a GUY. Sounds weird to say - but there was a part of me that imagined my husband would enjoy shopping and fashion and cry at the ope...more
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the amateur marriage took me completely by surprise. i did not expect to love it as much as i did, nor did i expect to finish or even begin it as quickly as i did. but it was one of those situations where every free moment i had, my eyes wandered over to the book and i was just swallowing it whole the entire time. it's not very long, BUT it very well could have been. i love authors who have the capacity to write their novel without overburdening or stretching it out unnecessarily. bonus points f...more
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Read in December, 2007
recommends it for:
airport readers
Anne Tyler, the queen of respectable airport fiction, offers us in The Amateur Marriage a rather amateur narrative. The 342 pages of the novel recall the entirety of one couple's time together, from their wedding in 1942 to their divorce in the late 1980s. It's like reading a series of passive-aggressive quarrels over and over again, the kind your parents often had when they didn't want anyone to think they were fighting. Tyler's overarching theme seems to be "don't marry too young"...more
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Read in April, 2005
In this novel we follow the relationship of two young people,from their first meeting until old age.Michael and Pauline jump into marriage during the war,because everyone wanted them married and everyone said they were for each other. But the enthusiasm of the honeymoon vanishes soon and they have to face their differences. Michael cannot understand the sudden changes of mood and the devouring spells of anger and hate of his wife,Pauline. He expected their marriage should go well by itself. Paul...more
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Read in February, 2008
recommended to Aubrey by:
middle-aged womenrecommends it for: middle-aged men and women
This is a quick read. She does a good job of portraying the daily ins and outs of regular people's lives. Most of the book I felt like I was reading a 1950's version of my home life growing up in the 90's. With that said, and perhaps this is the true reality of life, the book was a bit depressing. I got to the end and thought, "Boy, I sure how this isn't how I feel in my 50's", but in a way I already do feel the way the characters do. I especially thought the party scene at the en...more
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Read in January, 2008
First of all, I simply loved this book for telling a great story without using bad language or gratuitous sex scenes. I knew it could be done! Second, Anne Tyler is a great writer. She's economic in her language, but paints vivid scenes and really makes her characters feel real. Speaking of characters, this book was a fascinating look at how two otherwise good people can really bring out the worst in each other. The POV changed with each chapter, and I LOVED getting to see different sides of the...more
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Read in December, 2007
This was a very interesting read about relationship dynamics in a marriage of seemingly mismatched people- its interesting to see how and why they get together and stay together, and then grow apart....and how their differences effect their marriage, lives and children- the book chronicles their relationship from the time they meet and fall in love to their marriage, children, middle age, to when they live their lives apart and eventually their deaths...etc....it really is fascinating- Tyler has...more
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Read in April, 2008
I really loved "Digging to America" so I thought I would give another of her books a try. The book un-intentionally addresses emotional abandonment in so many ways - between husband and wife, mother and child, brother and sister, even friend to friend - - Tyler creates characters that you feel you know. She drafts a relationship between Mike and Pauline that makes you really see how two people collide in marriage. Although, as a testament to Tyler's writing skills, I wanted to kick Mik...more
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Has a copy to sell/swap
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Read in March, 2008
Wow. I never read Anne Tyler but I'm really excited to get into more of her books. This book was picked up at a book sale on a whim - I never nothing about it which makes it all the more rewarding because it was so good. It started a little slow but picked up quickly and I oculdn't put it down. It was a love story and a story about family but the most fascinating aspect was that it spanned over the entire lifetime of two people. Reading about different eras, from the 1940's forward, was fun. It ...more
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Read in January, 2007
I believe that by growing up around Baltimore this book resonated in a different way for me than for those unfamiliar with the culture of the city. This is not the Baltimore of The Wire or John Waters, but a more It would have been more relevant had I grown up during the 1960s. The story, however, translates across generations detailing the difficulties of being a mother, a daughter, a father. It reminds us that familial love is not always simple and easy but as hard and trying as romantic ...more
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recommends it for:
fans of women's fiction
In the fervor of the days following the attack on Pearl Harbor, Pauline and Michael meet each other by chance, and rush into marriage. Unlike most other young couples, Pauline and Michael never seem able to get past the petty squabbles, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings. For the next thirty years of their relationship, their fundamental differences affect every member of the family. Tyler is extremely adept at dissecting a marriage, one that never should taken place. This novel is a surpri...more
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I like the early parts the best. Wish Ms. Tyler would get out a bit more, see the rest of the world, and sheesh, her kids are like middle-aged children. But she does understand scenic action, so I'm learning something. Beginning of the novel much better than the middle. Too sweet for my taste, and characters not believable. But she is very successful, in the middle world between literary fiction and commercial fiction. Won the Pulitzer in 1988 for Breathing Lessons. Her earlier novels were bette...more
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Read in April, 2008
I enjoy Anne Taylor's writing style - fluid and easy - and this book was an airport read that was downed faster than a shot of jagermeister (hehe, just kidding, that would be one quick barf for me).
I like that she's not grossly romantic, that she throws in the grimy, icky realist bits, but also reveals those moments when things are distilled and crystal clear, and they actually DO look rosy.... for a minute. 'Cause that's how life really does work - murkiness with moments of clarity - and th...more
I like that she's not grossly romantic, that she throws in the grimy, icky realist bits, but also reveals those moments when things are distilled and crystal clear, and they actually DO look rosy.... for a minute. 'Cause that's how life really does work - murkiness with moments of clarity - and th...more
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Read in April, 2008
I thought this book was beautifully written - the descriptions of the eras and cultures it spanned made me feel as though I were there, watching it happen.
The characters, fraught with flaws and weaknesses, are so true and easy to relate to - I felt like I identified with something in almost everyone. I was sympathetic to everyone and continued to hope for a happy ending for each one until the very last page of the book.
The only reason I didn't love this book was because it left me feeling s...more
The characters, fraught with flaws and weaknesses, are so true and easy to relate to - I felt like I identified with something in almost everyone. I was sympathetic to everyone and continued to hope for a happy ending for each one until the very last page of the book.
The only reason I didn't love this book was because it left me feeling s...more
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Read in October, 2007
recommends it for:
Anne Tyler fans
I like Anne Tyler's books well enough to keep reading them. She does have a talent for writing. I've always been a bit bothered by the fact that her characters are intently focused on the flaws of her other characters. The Amateur Marriage has a plot that focuses entirely on that, with Michael and Pauline as the mis-matched couple. In general I liked the book, and any fan of Anne Tyler should enjoy it. But like most of the rest of her books, in a few months I'll pretty much forget I've ever r...more
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Read in January, 2006
I read everything by Anne Tyler. Everything. Each novel takes place in Baltimore. Each novel is about quirky people. Yet each novel is its own gem, different in its way, and polished and shiney. I especially loved this recent one, focused on a wrecked marriage of fragile people. Anne Tyler writes in a way that you almost don't know you're reading. You're so absorbed in the lives of her beloved characters that you just float along with them. No attention is drawn to her words, they just f...more
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Read in January, 2004
recommends it for:
women's fiction readers
Pauline and Michael seemed to have everything in life—good kids, a solid marriage, and nice house in Baltimore. Suddenly, after their thirtieth anniversary celebration, they decide to call it quits. Another winning family-saga by Tyler, who, with this novel, has continued her string of novels about families floundering amidst seemingly normal society. Strong writing and alive, vibrant characters are also Tyler’s trademark and she lives up to her reputation with this book.
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Michael Anton meets Pauline at his family's grocery store in an immigrant section of Baltimore in 1941. They marry after the war, settle down, but not happily ever after. He is repressed and quiet, she is loud and emotional. THey eventually move to the suburbs and after 30 years, they divorce. They eventually take on a more involved role with their grandson and experience divorce very differently.
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Read in August, 2007
recommended to Kelli by:
Kelly Vierrarecommends it for: someone experiencing divorced or an adult whose parents divorced
As a person whose parents divorced when I was a child, this book refreshened my view of their divorce & shed light on what it's like to have changing family dynamics w/ many people's 1st marriages no longer being the "cultural norm" of being their last marriage. Even if a reader's not going thru divorce or even lived thru their parents' divorce, this book is a wonderful read re: relationships.
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