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399th out of 4,071 books
—
19,771 voters
The Amateur Marriage
by
Anne Tyler
From the inimitable Anne Tyler, a rich and compelling novel about a mismatched marriage—and its consequences, spanning three generations.
They seemed like the perfect couple—young, good-looking, made for each other. The moment Pauline, a stranger to the Polish Eastern Avenue neighborhood of Baltimore (though she lived only twenty minutes away), walked into his mother’s groc...more
They seemed like the perfect couple—young, good-looking, made for each other. The moment Pauline, a stranger to the Polish Eastern Avenue neighborhood of Baltimore (though she lived only twenty minutes away), walked into his mother’s groc...more
Paperback, 352 pages
Published
January 31st 2006
by Ballantine Books
(first published 2004)
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Sep 10, 2007
GeoDiva
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
women who've been married for 7+ years
I read this book a few years ago - but it has stuck with me. The book is a portrait of a marriage between two incredibly different people. The woman is very emotional, with a flair for the dramatic. The man is very non-emotional. It paints a picture of so many marriages I have seen.
I think there comes a point in marriage where a woman realizes that she married a GUY. Sounds weird to say - but there was a part of me that imagined my husband would enjoy shopping and fashion and cry at the opera,...more
I think there comes a point in marriage where a woman realizes that she married a GUY. Sounds weird to say - but there was a part of me that imagined my husband would enjoy shopping and fashion and cry at the opera,...more
Lives In Time
For me, The Amateur Marriage represents the sixth time I have read one of Anne Tyler’s novels. On the surface it’s the story of Michael and Pauline. They meet by chance in 1941 in Anton’s, the grocery store run by Michael’s family. 1941, perhaps incidentally, is the year Anne Tyler was born.
There was a war to be fought, of course, a war that affected both of their lives. But there’s a marriage, and a child, a daughter named Lindy. Others follow, a boy and another girl. For Michael a...more
For me, The Amateur Marriage represents the sixth time I have read one of Anne Tyler’s novels. On the surface it’s the story of Michael and Pauline. They meet by chance in 1941 in Anton’s, the grocery store run by Michael’s family. 1941, perhaps incidentally, is the year Anne Tyler was born.
There was a war to be fought, of course, a war that affected both of their lives. But there’s a marriage, and a child, a daughter named Lindy. Others follow, a boy and another girl. For Michael a...more
10 likes · like · see review
Since this was written after her husband died, I thought perhaps it may have been partly autobiographical. (Well, maybe all books are.) I enjoy all her books, regardless.
Jun 21, 2008
Evie
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Everyone
Recommended to Evie by:
Everyone
AFter I read The Accidental Tourist, I went back on Amazon and bought this and Back When We Were Grownups.
I love how Tyler masks tension the characters are experiencing internally and in their relationships with descriptions of the banal. You just know someone is going to blow a gasket at any moment, but she makes the characters and the reader simmer in it, turning up the heat slowly with the passing years, seemingly meaningless squabbles, and resignation.
Pauline and Michael are just wrong for...more
I love how Tyler masks tension the characters are experiencing internally and in their relationships with descriptions of the banal. You just know someone is going to blow a gasket at any moment, but she makes the characters and the reader simmer in it, turning up the heat slowly with the passing years, seemingly meaningless squabbles, and resignation.
Pauline and Michael are just wrong for...more
3 likes · like · see review
Anne Tyler would laugh, I'm sure, if she read these different reactions to this book. For isn't this her point in so many of her novels? How different we all are and how easily we misunderstand each other? How one person can hate what another loves so passionately? How easy it is to miss the point, get the wrong end of the stick, fail to see what's under your very nose?
The genius of Tyler is in her understated approach to the great themes of life. Behind the seemingly trivial details of the ever...more
The genius of Tyler is in her understated approach to the great themes of life. Behind the seemingly trivial details of the ever...more
the amateur marriage took me completely by surprise. i did not expect to love it as much as i did, nor did i expect to finish or even begin it as quickly as i did. but it was one of those situations where every free moment i had, my eyes wandered over to the book and i was just swallowing it whole the entire time. it's not very long, BUT it very well could have been. i love authors who have the capacity to write their novel without overburdening or stretching it out unnecessarily. bonus points f...more
Feb 18, 2008
Aubrey
rated it
4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
middle-aged men and women
Recommended to Aubrey by:
middle-aged women
This is a quick read. She does a good job of portraying the daily ins and outs of regular people's lives. Most of the book I felt like I was reading a 1950's version of my home life growing up in the 90's. With that said, and perhaps this is the true reality of life, the book was a bit depressing. I got to the end and thought, "Boy, I sure how this isn't how I feel in my 50's", but in a way I already do feel the way the characters do. I especially thought the party scene at the end of the book w...more
Oct 02, 2008
Elizabeth
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Everyone
Recommended to Elizabeth by:
Goodreads
Shelves:
would-read-again
This book was phenomenal. It broke my heart and at the same time, evoked warm and familial feelings toward the characters.
The book takes you through the years of a marriage/failed marriage starting in 1941 and ending in 2001. Each chapter jumps forward to a new point in time for the family. That alone makes it intriguing--following the family and seeing how they change through the years.
The characters are absolutely believable. Maybe it's because I came from a dysfunctional family or perhaps I'm...more
The book takes you through the years of a marriage/failed marriage starting in 1941 and ending in 2001. Each chapter jumps forward to a new point in time for the family. That alone makes it intriguing--following the family and seeing how they change through the years.
The characters are absolutely believable. Maybe it's because I came from a dysfunctional family or perhaps I'm...more
First of all, I simply loved this book for telling a great story without using bad language or gratuitous sex scenes. I knew it could be done! Second, Anne Tyler is a great writer. She's economic in her language, but paints vivid scenes and really makes her characters feel real. Speaking of characters, this book was a fascinating look at how two otherwise good people can really bring out the worst in each other. The POV changed with each chapter, and I LOVED getting to see different sides of the...more
Very much an Anne Tyler book, so I know several people who wouldn't like it. Her books are very realistic to me, not a bunch of fake people who all get along and do everything right. A common theme in her writing seems to be defining love. Her characters seem to think they love, although some I know argue that based on their behavior. I've learned in my own life that we don't all have the same capacity to love, the same understanding of love, or even the same desire for love. Just like everythin...more
Wow. I never read Anne Tyler but I'm really excited to get into more of her books. This book was picked up at a book sale on a whim - I never nothing about it which makes it all the more rewarding because it was so good. It started a little slow but picked up quickly and I oculdn't put it down. It was a love story and a story about family but the most fascinating aspect was that it spanned over the entire lifetime of two people. Reading about different eras, from the 1940's forward, was fun. It...more
This was an interesting novel chronicling the marriage (and dissolution of said marriage) of Michael and Pauline. I really enjoyed how each chapter represented a different period of their lives; no awkward transitions or unnecessary info to slow things down. The book follows them from when they first meet at the outset of World War II through 1990. The chapters bound forward, aging children and spouses and the times. But ultimately, there was something too flat about the characters. I found the...more
All of the Anne Tyler books I have read have had some depressing undercurrents, but the quirky characters and humorous writing keeps those books relatively lighthearted, despite heavy/sad themes. This book, however, is just sad. It still has quirky characters and an interesting plot, but the humor is not really there (and is not trying to be there). It's a very realistic look at the way couples can fundamentally disagree and clash, and it's told in an honest and real way.
I would recommend it, b...more
I would recommend it, b...more
I like the early parts the best. Wish Ms. Tyler would get out a bit more, see the rest of the world, and sheesh, her kids are like middle-aged children. But she does understand scenic action, so I'm learning something. Beginning of the novel much better than the middle. Too sweet for my taste, and characters not believable. But she is very successful, in the middle world between literary fiction and commercial fiction. Won the Pulitzer in 1988 for Breathing Lessons. Her earlier novels were bette...more
At my core, I am a gay man trapped in a heterosexual’s body with woman-part-loving, long-male, steroid-injected-genitalia.
That being said, naturally I simply adore Anne Tyler for her novelistic works that depict raw human emotions and real feelings without the use of firey-explosives or Bruce Willis muscles to depict them. There's just no substitute for reading something and seeing yourself in that very postion without having to reach of your glock or hand grenade... I've found.
In short: I’ve...more
That being said, naturally I simply adore Anne Tyler for her novelistic works that depict raw human emotions and real feelings without the use of firey-explosives or Bruce Willis muscles to depict them. There's just no substitute for reading something and seeing yourself in that very postion without having to reach of your glock or hand grenade... I've found.
In short: I’ve...more
Tyler reliably dredges up the good, the bad, the beautiful, and the ugly of domestic life in Baltimore. Though "seldom if ever spiteful," notes The New York Times Book Review, Tyler is a "mischief-maker" in the spirit of Jane Austen. Amateur Marriage, while departing from the trademark quirkiness of previous novels, affirms that reputation. Against the backdrop of six decades of American life--from the bombing of Hiroshima through September 11, from the old neighborhood to the slums, from the tr
...more
This book was recommended to me by a Christian woman who said that it taught her a lot about her own marriage. Perhaps it's not my place to judge, but I walked away from this book thinking that its message was one of anti-marriage or at least one of not getting married too young. Well, I myself was a very young bride--22 and I'll be the first to tell you marriage is work, very hard work and this book was kind of a slap in the face in a way. I HATED the characters and the fact that they were so i...more
2 likes · like · see review
Premetto che è il primo libro che leggo di questa autrice, ma ne sono rimasta incantata: è scritto divinamente! Così fluente e drammaticamente reale, ma al tempo stesso ti coglie di sorpresa con una spruzzata di velata ironia qua e là... mi ha coinvolta tantissimo!
All'apparenza è la storia di una famiglia come tante, con i suoi problemi e con la sua routine, ma nonostante ciò è lontano anni luce dal risultare banale o noioso. Lo si legge gradevolmente e man mano che la storia va avanti e i prob...more
All'apparenza è la storia di una famiglia come tante, con i suoi problemi e con la sua routine, ma nonostante ciò è lontano anni luce dal risultare banale o noioso. Lo si legge gradevolmente e man mano che la storia va avanti e i prob...more
What I take from this book from a craft perspective is a lesson in writing sparingly. While the story spans nearly a lifetime, as Tyler looks at the marriage of two people, each life chapter is chosen, as if they were stories in and of themselves, stories that connect to create a bigger picture. In other words, she doesn't explain everything. We get glimpses, almost flashes, like we are looking at slides in a projector, of the chapters in the life and death of this marriage.
When I first began re...more
When I first began re...more
In this novel by Anne Tyler, two young people meet and what
should have been a fun fling ends up being, due to a twist
of fate, their marriage.
Children, suffering, growth and deaths along with years of
conflicting non-parallel existences lead to the husband re-
alizing that he must leave this stifling trap of toxicity.
The marriage has become a dynamic of two people hating each
other and bringing out the worst that each as to offer.
Neither person alne is bad but the marriage creates a dark
and lonely l...more
should have been a fun fling ends up being, due to a twist
of fate, their marriage.
Children, suffering, growth and deaths along with years of
conflicting non-parallel existences lead to the husband re-
alizing that he must leave this stifling trap of toxicity.
The marriage has become a dynamic of two people hating each
other and bringing out the worst that each as to offer.
Neither person alne is bad but the marriage creates a dark
and lonely l...more
This was my first time reading Anne Tyler. She can definitely write! Her skill with words combined with her fine eye for human nature and behavior makes for an interesting and heartbreaking read. This novel explores the life and legacy of a marriage between two very different people who just can't, or choose not to, make it work. Their behavior actually made me angry--a good sign, I guess, since it means her characters were multi-dimensional and real to me. I've just seen too many marriages like...more
Ah, good to get back to Anne Tyler. So! We should have a lot to discuss at book club with this one. Anne Tyler can really nail humans, male and female. Her details, nuances, and insights are incredible. I'll be she's been people-watching for a long time.
I think this book is ultimately sad because it seems to focus on the negative aspects and flaws of a family. I think that we are all amateurs when we marry and the trick is to fight positively! Some problems need attention and fixing, but the foc...more
I think this book is ultimately sad because it seems to focus on the negative aspects and flaws of a family. I think that we are all amateurs when we marry and the trick is to fight positively! Some problems need attention and fixing, but the foc...more
It is amazing how long a marriage can remain "amateur." Yet, with a keen eye to the characters of two good people whose incompatibilities only deepen with time, Anne Tyler portrays the kind of marriage that is all too universal: two young people, propped against one another by society and by forces of history, are bound together for a lifetime. Or is it a lifetime? Not until one of them surprises the other and snaps.
I particularly liked Tyler's masterful depiction of Pauline, a loveable, volati...more
I particularly liked Tyler's masterful depiction of Pauline, a loveable, volati...more
it passeth all understanding that the gifted, compelling author of such innovative engrossing novels as Celestial Navigation and Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant could have put forth for publication this awkward, disjointed, banal badly written mess. what also passeth understanding is that it got published even if it was written by Anne Tyler. Apparently, no matter how bad a book is, if its author has a name, even respectable publishers will print and promote it.
There is zero character developm...more
There is zero character developm...more
It takes a while to get into the book. The first chapter, narrating the backstory of Pauline and Michael takes a while and seems too draggy, unrealistic and romantic, but necessary you realise by the end of the story. But you'll soon find yourself engrossed in the couple's journey, some times wondering why didn't they just break up at the start, and other times fervently wishing that they'll be able to find some resolution with each other by the end of the book.
I guess, this book teaches us, Li...more
I guess, this book teaches us, Li...more
Now that I've finished it, I'm finding myself replaying ths deceptively simple story in my mind. At first when I read Anne Tyler, nothing but a good story seems to register for me - I get so enmeshed in the characters that I stop being conscious of the style of the prose. She seems so artless, so real, about how she tells the story, that I almost forget it's a novel. I start thinking of the characters as though they are actually people I know, and I wonder what I can learn from their experiences...more
The Amateur Marriage, by Anne Tyler, starts on Dec. 7, 1941, and ends on Pearl Harbor Day 2001. During the course of the novel, Pauline and Micheal meet, marry, have babies, raise a family, run a grocery store, then a supermarket, and move into the suburbs, while they try to figure out what the heck is going on with their lives. They experience Michael's war wound, teenage rebellion, neighborhood barbecues, flirtations, and loss. Most of all, they encounter the claustrophobic and nightmarish exi...more
A friend recommended Anne Tyler to me as an author I met enjoy. This is the first book of hers that I've read. The beginning of the book was so slow I almost gave up. But I'm glad I stuck with it. Once the story got going it had interesting layers as it built upon the characters thru their marriage/family/retirement years.
It was really sad as you realize Pauline & Michael had never built a strong relationship but less friendship before they got married. They were the opposites of one anothe...more
It was really sad as you realize Pauline & Michael had never built a strong relationship but less friendship before they got married. They were the opposites of one anothe...more
I can't believe this book is getting such high ratings.
I listened to it in audiobook format on a road trip to the Oregon Coast in 2005. It disgusted me. I completely forgot I had even read it until I signed up for Goodreads. A friend had added a book with a similar title and I racked my brain trying to remember the title of this piece of crap so I could add it to my read list. I thought it was lost to my bad memory for good. (Why do I feel compelled if it's so awful? My OCD need to catalog and l...more
I listened to it in audiobook format on a road trip to the Oregon Coast in 2005. It disgusted me. I completely forgot I had even read it until I signed up for Goodreads. A friend had added a book with a similar title and I racked my brain trying to remember the title of this piece of crap so I could add it to my read list. I thought it was lost to my bad memory for good. (Why do I feel compelled if it's so awful? My OCD need to catalog and l...more
Two young people are attracted to each other. Michael from Polish section of Brooklyn and Pauline, a Wasp from out of the neighborhood. It is 1941 and before they can get together the second world war breaks out, and Michael, at Pauline's urging feels pressured into enlisting. He returns before going for basic training and promises are made to write each day and to be faithful to each other. He returns in six weeks having been accidentally shot in the leg by a comrade. In spite of doubts by both...more
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Anne Tyler was born in Minneapolis, Minnesota, in 1941 and grew up in Raleigh, North Carolina. She graduated at nineteen from Duke University and went on to do graduate work in Russian studies at Columbia University.
The Beginner's Goodbye
is Anne Tyler's nineteenth novel; her eleventh,
Breathing Lessons
, was awarded the Pulitzer Prize in 1988. She is a member of the American Academy of Arts and...more
More about Anne Tyler...
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“She was good at talking with young people. She seemed to view them as interesting foreigners.”
—
12 people liked it
“He wished he had inhabited more of his life, used it better, filled it fuller.”
—
11 people liked it
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Apr 24, 2009 10:29am