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After Ben (Seattle Stories #1)

by Con Riley (Goodreads Author)

4.28 of 5 stars 4.28 · rating details · 767 ratings · 188 reviews

"Seattle Stories: Book One"

A year after the sudden death of his longtime partner, Ben, Theo Anderson is still grieving. The last thing he's looking for is a new lover. But as Theo soon discovers, sometimes life has other plans.

While Theo experiences a powerful physical attraction to fellow gym member Peter, it's his new online friend, Morgan, who provides the intellectual...more

ebook, 300 pages

Published July 16th 2012 by Dreamspinner Press (first published July 15th 2012)

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Best M/M Romance Published in 2012

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Jul 19, 2012 ♥Laddie♥ rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Everyone who wants more than just man meets man and then has sex with man

Shelves: awesome-just-awesome, death-and-life, hero-abused-in-past, mm, mm-first-friends-then-lovers, mm-loved-it, mm-older-man-younger-man, rainbows-and-sunshine

Gorgeous, Captivating, Beautiful, Poignant and Downright Lovely

I'm almost not sure how to describe the experience of reading this story. I don't think that anything I write can really do it justice. This book is more than just a M/M romance and it has raised the bar for every book that I will read this year.

This is not just a romance. After Ben is the story of how one man, Theo, finds his way back to the living after his partner of fifteen years dies. We see Theo making his first friend, a man...more Gorgeous, Captivating, Beautiful, Poignant and Downright Lovely

I'm almost not sure how to describe the experience of reading this story. I don't think that anything I write can really do it justice. This book is more than just a M/M romance and it has raised the bar for every book that I will read this year.

This is not just a romance. After Ben is the story of how one man, Theo, finds his way back to the living after his partner of fifteen years dies. We see Theo making his first friend, a man named Peter, since his partner Ben passed away. We see Theo rediscovering his sexuality. The reader is there with Theo as he finds his smile again while watching two young interns in his office, Joel and Evan, fall in love. The scope of Theo's journey is breathtaking and I found myself rooting for him, smiling with him, laughing with him and crying for and with him.

One thing that made this story so powerful was that the deceased partner, Ben, was such a strong presence. I felt Ben and Theo's love. I felt how adrift Theo was without his lover and how he struggled through his days and nights. The grieving process was not ignored in this book and that made it heartbreakingly poignant. I felt this book deep in my heart.

The relationships in After Ben were so realistically portrayed that at the end of the book I felt like I even knew the supporting cast. These characters were important to each other and that made them and their lives matter to me as I read the book. I cared about the interns and their blossoming love. I really like Theo's assistant Maggie and the way she held him up in his darkest moments. I wanted Theo and his parents to patch up their relationship. I was invested in all of the characters' lives.

And then there was Morgan. At Theo's darkest time he stumbles upon a local political debate internet forum. It's there that he meets an argumentative, somewhat pushy, intelligent and sharp witted man named Morgan. Over a number of months Morgan and Theo build a friendship that will lead to so much more. Morgan and Theo's interactions were funny, sweet, sexy and deep at times. They open up to each other and fill a void in each other's lives. I loved Theo and Morgan together. The belonged together and it was so, so clear.

I really can't express how much this book touched me. Was it perfect? No, but it was absolutely human and absolutely beautiful.(less)

29 likes · like · see review

Jul 27, 2012 Baba ♥♥♥ Marcus, Tyler, Tate, Dan, Ty, & Hunter rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, m-m-age-gap

REVIEW COMPLETED JULY 27, 2012

Wow! Fantastic! After Ben is an amazing, poignant and bittersweet journey of a grief-stricken man back to life, love, and happiness. Through the clouds of misery the sun will shine on you again. Read this story. It's incredibly worthwhile. Simply beautiful.

5 very shiny stars!

First of all I will admit that I was in tears while writing my review. Moreover, I think that my review can't do this story justice. But I'll be trying it anyway. Here we go...

"Why rebuild when...more

39 likes · like · see review

Jul 17, 2012 Vio rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: beautiful, delightful, fabulous, lovable, loved-it, mc-s-good-combo, really-really-good, tears, funny, highly-recommended, favourites

4.5 stars
Theo's journey is stunningly portrayed throughout, it's emotionally gripping and written perfectly to draw you in and believe me you can't help but get dragged along willingly or not. His life is robotic not really living just existing, barely coping after the death of his partner and love Ben. Stuck in this hellhole trying to climb his way out, its painful and hard to watch at times. Theo's recollections of Ben and the life they had together were deep, touching and exceptionally well w...more 4.5 stars
Theo's journey is stunningly portrayed throughout, it's emotionally gripping and written perfectly to draw you in and believe me you can't help but get dragged along willingly or not. His life is robotic not really living just existing, barely coping after the death of his partner and love Ben. Stuck in this hellhole trying to climb his way out, its painful and hard to watch at times. Theo's recollections of Ben and the life they had together were deep, touching and exceptionally well written, beautiful memories never to be forgotten. (view spoiler)

Joel and Evan the new Interns who arrive to shake up Theo's world and manage to wriggle their way into Theo's heart, amazingly cute and comical especially Joel and his dramas with the photocopier they are a delight and brighten up the office and Theo with their antics. Maggie is a godsend and the best personal assistant Theo could have, dedicated and consistently always there for him, he is lucky to have her. As Theo starts to re-build his life his relationship with his parents especially his mother gets better the bitterness and resentment starts to lessen. Theo is healing with the support of some wonderful friends and family. The Italian relatives Ben's family were another great addition to the story, I hope we get to see more of them in the future.

The other one constant and lifeline for Theo is Morgan an online friend who charms and inspires with his wit and stimulates Theo to engage more with him, I swear he is purposely argumentative just to get a rise out of Theo, Morgan is a smart cookie. The chats, emails and texts, I loved them and had quite a few laughs as Morgan is an adorable rascal. The relationship is a fascinating one unfolding before your eyes bit by bit, dreamy and believable. So when they finally do meet, its perfect they are on fire for each other a sexy, gorgeous heated love fest to swoon over! Morgan is a bit of an enigma and whatever haunts him from the past will be and can be overcome with Theo's love.

This story is not about forgetting Ben who will always be an integral part of Theo's life it's about learning to live again, to experience life to the fullest and enjoy. Theo finally realises he can be happy to love and laugh again without the guilt. Highly recommended a superb romance that touched my heart.
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25 likes · like · see review

May 25, 2013 Gina rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to Gina by: Baba ♥♥♥ Marcus, Tyler, Tate, Dan, Ty, & Hunter

Shelves: m-m-romance

This book got to me, it reached into my heart and just stayed there. I have lost friends and family to illness, but never someone I was in love with.

This was about Theo, and his life after losing his partner, the love of his life to a cardiac arrest. He has cut off his friends and family, the pain too much to deal with and share with others. During this story you get to see glimpses of Theo's life with Ben. You see moments of laughter, teasing, intimates of tenderness, and of course the pain of...more This book got to me, it reached into my heart and just stayed there. I have lost friends and family to illness, but never someone I was in love with.

This was about Theo, and his life after losing his partner, the love of his life to a cardiac arrest. He has cut off his friends and family, the pain too much to deal with and share with others. During this story you get to see glimpses of Theo's life with Ben. You see moments of laughter, teasing, intimates of tenderness, and of course the pain of Theo's loss.

Theo does interact with people, mainly is assistant at work who has being his steady friend as well and gotten him through his grieving. Also Theo enjoys going to chat rooms for intellectual stimulation and meets Morgan. They strike up an online friendship and Theo grows to depend on it. This ends up being his way back to living, the light in an otherwise dark life.

I really enjoyed Morgan, he was intelligent, funny, a smartass at times and I enjoyed witnessing his friendship with Theo grow over the months they talked online on the forums. But still of course there is that feeling of uncertainty, is it a real friendship?

This was not what I expected at all, I expected Theo and Morgan to meet right away and get to the business of getting to know each other fast! Instead, what I witnessed was the journey of a man going through the stages of loss, and his steps back into warmth and life. I came to care about Theo and he felt like a friend I wanted to wrap my arms around and hug. I also enjoyed the secondary characters as well, Maggie (his assistant) and his interns.

I enjoyed this book and would recommend it to anyone. It was refreshing to read story that didn't end up in sex by page 20 (not that there isn't anything wrong with that of course...hehe). And while the sex was steamy and hot when it finally happened, part of me was glad I had to wait so long, it felt appropriate and of course it was awesome!!!

Thanks to Baba for the recommendation, you were right on the money my friend for choosing this as my introduction into the genre. Loved it!(less)

12 likes · like · see review

Jul 16, 2012 MandyM rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m-romance

4.75 stars. Theo is only half alive, struggling to make his way back into the world a year after the death of his beloved partner Ben. Slowly and almost reluctantly he is drawn back by the demands of his job, an unwanted attraction to a fellow gym-goer, his parents love, and a strangely addictive online relationship with someone called Morgan. Theo's history with Ben is told in gentle reminiscences that are compelling and poignant, but never overly melodramatic.

The secondary characters are wond...more 4.75 stars. Theo is only half alive, struggling to make his way back into the world a year after the death of his beloved partner Ben. Slowly and almost reluctantly he is drawn back by the demands of his job, an unwanted attraction to a fellow gym-goer, his parents love, and a strangely addictive online relationship with someone called Morgan. Theo's history with Ben is told in gentle reminiscences that are compelling and poignant, but never overly melodramatic.

The secondary characters are wonderful and complex and Theo has to work out his relationship with them as part of his growth in the story. He has a fragile, slightly bitter relationship with his mother, he has two funny, adorable new interns whose office romance re-opens his eyes to how happy love can make you, he has a steadfast office assistant who has been the one friend he let help him through his grief, and he has Peter whose gentle persistence makes him feel a physical attraction again for the first time (although Peter is not the romantic interest in this story).

But most of all he has Morgan, the friend he made online, who challenges, excites and tantalises him. They connect almost from the beginning of the story but it's not until about 68% that they actually meet in person. But I liked that because Theo was not ready to meet Morgan till then. The anticipation and rising sexual tension is delicious and when they do get together it is explosive. The sex is off-the-wall hot! When I finished the book I went straight back and reread that meeting again. Morgan also has his own story and demons that he is fighting and as Theo's confidence and joie de vivre returns we see him come full circle as he is able to help someone else through their struggles.

I loved this book. There are no clichés and no stereotypes. Probably the only fault I could find was that I needed to see more of Morgan working out his problems at the end but that could be just because I had trouble letting go of the characters. I'm happy to find a great new author and can't wait to read more books in the series. I see Peter's story is being published in the future and I want more about Joel and Evan and also Ben's Italian brother and Aiden too! I think this book did the impossible. It made the internet seem like the perfect place to fall in love.

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30 likes · like · see review

Oct 09, 2012 Posy Roberts rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m

Is it possible to love again after the love of your life died? It's possible, but it's not so easy to let go of the past and move beyond the guilt of loving someone new. Theo has lived his life through the scrim of grief since Ben died, but slowly, ever slowly, that scrim is being lifted and Theo is able to start living again. But it's not without it's trials and struggles. Peter and Morgan, as well as a few others are there to help him along the way.

I love the gently unfolding story telling sty...more

7 likes · like · see review

Jul 19, 2012 Ami rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: mm-contemporary

Trying to find the words to say, but I think MandyM and Vio had done such a fantastic job with their reviews, you might just go there and read theirs :).

As for my own, this is what I could say ...

"Welcome back to the world, Theo."

First of all, for me personally, this is NOT a romance. I mean, yes, there is a romance, around the last 1/3 of the book, when Theo finally realizes what Morgan means for him, and they finally meet face to face and act on their online attraction into a physical one (and...more Trying to find the words to say, but I think MandyM and Vio had done such a fantastic job with their reviews, you might just go there and read theirs :).

As for my own, this is what I could say ...

"Welcome back to the world, Theo."

First of all, for me personally, this is NOT a romance. I mean, yes, there is a romance, around the last 1/3 of the book, when Theo finally realizes what Morgan means for him, and they finally meet face to face and act on their online attraction into a physical one (and boy, it is HOT).

However, most of the story is about a journey. Theo's journey to come back to "being normal" after losing his partner of 15 years, Ben, from heart attack. We don't get the one-year grief story. We get the beginning of a life after. The grief part, the part where Theo is said to push people away, is done off screen.

What is so wonderful about this story is how REAL Theo's life is. We have him working -- including the part where he needs to fire people, which reminds me of George Clooney's movie. We have him in personal life, missing Ben so much it hurts.

AND ... we have a bunch of characters in his life that help Theo shape his life "After Ben". We see him interact with his ever-efficient assistant, Maggie, who makes sure that Theo functions well at the office. We have Theo visiting his parents and learn that before this, Theo's mother is not totally accepting Ben (since Ben was 9 years older than Theo). We have Theo start a friendship with a fellow gym member, Peter -- whose persistence in the beginning might give readers the 'wrong' idea that Peter will be the romantic interest (but he's not!). We have Theo reconnecting with his old friends. We have Theo finding new excitement watching young-love blooming in his office, between two interns Evan and Joel.

... and then, there's Morgan.

Morgan, the newbie in a forum that Theo has been part of, who is feisty and so alive, and intellectually challenges Theo and drags him to the world of living. Morgan, whose own demons become part of his character, and in that sense helps Theo to see the life with Ben in such different perspective and as a result makes Theo a better man, and able to open himself in a way that he hasn't before when he was with Ben. Morgan, who might be younger than Theo but never childlike, and his secrecy about his dark past makes Theo realizes that he can do better by becoming what Morgan needs this time (just like Ben did to Theo).

The journey to Morgan is not fast ... in fact, Theo will not meet Morgan face-to-face until around 68% of the book, so you have to be patient. There is part where Morgan is 'silent' from Theo's online life and Theo almost destroying his chance with Morgan. There are clues, really, to who Morgan actually are, even if he stays an enigma until the end. But that's his charm, I think. Which gives Theo a chance to keep learning about Morgan, even after the book says "The End". They might move fast after that meeting, but you will never think of it as insta-love. Their contact on the online life makes it believable.

It's a GREAT book from a new author ... and I definitely in for more of her Seattle Stories.(less)

17 likes · like · see review

Jun 12, 2013 Julio-Alexi Genao rated it 3 of 5 stars

O Hai, Grief.

Imbued with a good-hearted humanity and wisdom that's not easy to find in the genre, this one might kick around in my brain for a while.

Riley has a fine sense of pacing and her voice is polished and engaging. She's got a good ear for the flow of language, and a keen eye for amusing and illuminating detail.

She's talented, in other words, and it shows.

Some characters do border on the too-perfect end of the spectrum, and there are a couple frustrating loose ends that should have—by the...more

12 likes · like · see review

Sep 23, 2012 Jess Candela rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: jessewave-reviews, m-m, favorites, read-in-2012

4.75 stars
Review Summary: A moving, amusing, triumphant story of surviving great loss and learning to live and love again.

Review: This is a wonderful story of learning to live and love again after great loss, of coming back alive. It's all about making progress, and in fact I'd go so far as to say "making progress" was Theo's theme or mantra. He'd been so numb for so long, going through the motions without realizing how absent he really was, and this is the story of his re-awakening. When a numb...more 4.75 stars
Review Summary: A moving, amusing, triumphant story of surviving great loss and learning to live and love again.

Review: This is a wonderful story of learning to live and love again after great loss, of coming back alive. It's all about making progress, and in fact I'd go so far as to say "making progress" was Theo's theme or mantra. He'd been so numb for so long, going through the motions without realizing how absent he really was, and this is the story of his re-awakening. When a numb arm or leg wakes up, we experience painful tingles for a while, and much of this story is Theo experiencing those tingles as he realizes he's been asleep and is now waking up.

Theo had fifteen wonderful years with Ben, but now Theo has to figure out how to go on with his own life after Ben is gone. I found his grief and recovery process very believable and sympathetic. Although Ben is dead before the story starts, we get a real sense of him from Theo's memories. I thought the past was beautifully woven into the present, giving the reader a real sense of what happened and what Theo's life was like before compared to now, without any actual flashbacks. Reading the blurb, I'd thought Theo's insistence on avoiding another age gap was ridiculous, but as I got to know him better I felt like I could understand where he was coming from. I still thought it was ridiculous, as did characters who didn't hesitate to point it out to him, but it made sense for him in context.

Speaking of those characters, this story was chock full of wonderful secondary characters. Ben's assistant Maggie was clearly his lifeline for a long time. The office interns, with their own romance, provided both humor and insight. I didn't really understand Theo's parents at first, but eventually got to know them well enough to understand and appreciate them. Although we didn't see much of them, I loved Ben's mother and his younger brother, Marco. I'm hoping we'll see more of them in a sequel, as there was clear potential for Marco to be gay. Marco was wonderfully perceptive and played a key role in making the HEA for this story possible.

I loved Peter from the moment we met him, and ached for him because it was pretty clear that Theo wasn't going to fall in love with him. I really, really wanted Peter to get a HEA, and I'm delighted to see that he will in the next book (which comes out tomorrow!). I'm glad to see that Aiden gets his own story after that. Although he was a very minor character in this book, he was an intriguing one I'm looking forward to getting to know better.

I loved that Theo and Morgan didn't fall in love right away, because there's no way Theo was ready at the beginning of the book. They developed a solid online relationship, one that helped them both through tough times as they challenged each other intellectually and gradually developed more emotional closeness. Knowing each other online first both helped and hindered the relationship when they finally met in person, and I appreciated how that was depicted. I liked Morgan right away and admired him in many ways, but I didn't like his attitude that he knew better than Theo what was best for him. Even if it was true, I found his frequent statements about it obnoxious.

I thought Theo was surprisingly obtuse when it came to Morgan's past and reasons for being at the shelter in the first place. I finally concluded that it's pretty human to see what we want, even if evidence to the contrary is right in front of us in blinking neon. That's all the more believable considering how out of it Theo had been for so long, so I was finally able to let it go and move on, but it frustrated me for a while. I also really would have liked to get to know Morgan better and know more of his backstory.

But despite those niggles, this was a magnificent story about rejoining the world after devastating loss. It was romantic, and it had a HEA, but it wasn't exactly a romance; at least, not a light and fluffy one. Highly recommended, and I'm very much looking forward to the sequel.

This review was originally posted at Reviews by Jessewave, where I received the book for free in exchange for an honest review.(less)

6 likes · like · see review

Oct 27, 2012 Nile Princess rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: deceased-spouse, nicole, mobi, m-m-romance, age-difference, reviewed

2.75ish. Another case of a beautiful story buried in 'too much'. Too many flashbacks, too much repetition, pages and pages and pages of internet conversations. The numerous flashback/lookbacks were a major problem. They were on practically every page!! Just Ben overload. I really do appreciate how much Theo loved and missed him, but the time jumping was confusing and the lookbacks (not full flashbacks) were poorly placed. Any sympathy or love I felt for Theo/Ben was lost halfway through the book...more

10 likes · like · see review

Aug 18, 2012 Tiya Rosa rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, this-gave-me-the-sads, debut, ugh-flashbacks

I know I'm in the minority in this, but I have to say that reading this book has been pretty exhausting. It started as a four-star read and then the writing style got distracting then irritating then got me so bone tired that I may have skimmed some of the later pages.

After Ben is Theo's life a year after the death of his lover, Ben. He's trying to get his life back together, slowly putting things back to as normal as possible, and along the way, he meets an interesting guy at an internet forum...more

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Oct 15, 2012 Mandy*reads obsessively* rated it 4 of 5 stars

Recommended to Mandy*reads obsessively* by: Vio

Shelves: hurt-comfort-disability, m-m, abuse, age-gap, cry-me-a-river, ebook-owned, evil-ex, fun-or-funny, kid-kids-and-more-kids, sniffle, sweet

3.75*

This was a book I was reluctant to read, for fear of it making me sad.
It did, but not to the extent I thought it might.
Theo is grieving for his partner of 15years, and even a year out it is still a fresh and constant ache, but he is getting better.
Peter is really the first to get Theo out of his comfort zone and open him up to at least thinking about moving forward with his life.
Theo has found a new online 'home' and there he meets Morgan, they are in an almost constant state of communicati...more 3.75*

This was a book I was reluctant to read, for fear of it making me sad.
It did, but not to the extent I thought it might.
Theo is grieving for his partner of 15years, and even a year out it is still a fresh and constant ache, but he is getting better.
Peter is really the first to get Theo out of his comfort zone and open him up to at least thinking about moving forward with his life.
Theo has found a new online 'home' and there he meets Morgan, they are in an almost constant state of communication through texts and emails and develop a deep friendship.
That was probably my favorite part of the story.
I was also very glad that even if Theo's Mom has a shaky relationship with Ben, that both he and Ben had loving and supportive families.
Joel and Evan were sweet and it was a nice sidestory.
The 'misunderstanding' didn't really work for me, I would have understood better if Theo was upset because he thought he had possibly betrayed confidence , even accidentally.
(view spoiler)
I also have to thank the author for not to falling into the trap of once the MC's get together, that all of a sudden everything is better than before with the other partner.
I hate that..when all of a sudden..sex had never been that good, no one understanding me like he does...etc!
I realize this story was far more about Theo's journey back from debilitating grief to a productive and even happy life, but I still felt Morgan's story wasn't explained enough for me.
I liked it, but a little something was missing for me to really make me love it, not sure what, but I am glad I read Theo, Ben and Morgan's story .(less)

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Jul 21, 2012 Anyta Sunday rated it 4 of 5 stars

There are so many things to love about this book.

I particularly appreciated these things:

1) The author is very good at hooking the reader with clever, well-written sentences at the end of scenes and chapters. The opening sentence is a great example: "Sometimes, just sometimes, Theo forgot he was single."

Brilliant. It opened up so many questions for me that I needed to read on.

2) The story is emotion driven.

3) Characters and relationships are complex, not all honky-dory.

4) The fact Morgan and Th...more

6 likes · like · see review

Jan 26, 2013 Donnerhall rated it 4 of 5 stars

I was surprised when I realised that I had (sort of) read this story before, as fan fiction. The author had re-written it extensively though and made it even better. I'm happy to see proof that fanfic-writers can successfully adapt to writing published novels and this author is certainly a most accomplished writer.

Theo, the MC, was a very interesting character, believable as well as lovable. Morgan and other secondary characters were well fleshed out and really made me wish for more of them.

The...more

3 likes · like · see review

Jul 25, 2012 AnnaLund rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: top-read-of-2012, m-m-romance, reread-twice

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. The emotions that have surged through me during this novel! The giggle-snorts and the sad tears. I have journeyed with Theo after Ben, and I have seen what Theo saw, I have felt what Theo felt.

I have had all the emotions:
The aching after losing a loved one. (“For years he had bruised his nose, pressing it against the buzzer until Ben opened the door for him.”)
The excitement of tumbling around on the net, finding friends who are easier to deal with than your real life ones. (“Theo sat in his b...more

4 likes · like · see review

Sep 24, 2012 MLE rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: mm, kindle-archive, favorites

A beautiful, mature, love story. I enjoyed both love stories, and the fact that loving Ben didn't make his love for his new partner any less. I've read too many romance novels where the first relationship has to have been bad, or there is some stunning revelation which makes the main character realize what a jerk their previous lover was. It's nice to see a novel acknowledge that a person can truly love more than one person in a lifetime.

I enjoyed the pace of the romance as well. Considering whe...more

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Jul 18, 2012 Lauraadriana rated it 5 of 5 stars

This book literally saved my faith in M/M Romance...LIKE LITERALLY. I had given up...I was despairing wondering has this whole community turned taken turn to the "Flavor of Love" phase where there is just nothing left but...Nothing...AND THEN!!! AWESOMENESS!!

This book was...

-SMART: Written with care for the reader, no errors, no nonsense...It flowed like a novel should.
-INSIGHTFUl: What a brilliant thing, to write an M/M romance that focused on online relationships and how REAL they are for tho...more

36 likes · like · see review

Dec 03, 2012 Kukko rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 1-app-kindle, a-erotic, a-contemporary, a-romance, character-manager, character-tech-guy, series-to-be-read-in-order, sex-mix-m-m, mm-comfort-zone

I was surprised that I actually enjoyed this book - despite of the subject matter. Even though I found the story long-winded and heavy-going at times, I thought the characters were engaging and had to wonder how I would cope in such a situation.

My main issue was that there was so much of Ben (the deceased ex) in the book. Whilst I understand the importance of the past in framing the present and future, it felt like the reminiscing about Ben was a bit over done. It seemed like every other page wa...more

1 like · like · see review

Jan 25, 2013 Charlotte rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: genre-contemporary, genre-mm

All telling, no showing. Constant flashbacks, and retellings of scenes rather than being in the scenes themselves. Not a happy reader.

2 likes · like · see review

Mar 23, 2013 Heather K (dentist in my spare time) rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, favorites-2013, best-of-the-best, loved-it, m-m, made-me-cry, romance

Oh my GOD I was so blown away by this book.

I had been avoiding this book for quite some time because it just sounded so freaking sad. It is about a man, Theo, grieving the loss of his long-time partner, Ben. The book is really about Theo's struggles to move on and his journey to find happiness.

I knew that I would have trouble with this book. Sometimes when I read a sad book I feel overwhelmed with the characters and I end up taking on their emotions. This happened with full force with "After B...more

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Nov 30, 2012 Ery rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: owned

3.5 stars.

After Ben is an emotional window into a man's life after unexpectedly losing his partner of fifteen years.

Theo is a fairly unassuming accountant (auditor?) whose joy in life circled around his partner, Ben- his love and the center of his life. And when a pre-story accident takes Ben from him, Theo falls into a tailspin that seems unrecoverable. We meet Theo about a year after his partner's death. He's functioning- most of the time, but only on automatic. He operates in a surreal world...more 3.5 stars.

After Ben is an emotional window into a man's life after unexpectedly losing his partner of fifteen years.

Theo is a fairly unassuming accountant (auditor?) whose joy in life circled around his partner, Ben- his love and the center of his life. And when a pre-story accident takes Ben from him, Theo falls into a tailspin that seems unrecoverable. We meet Theo about a year after his partner's death. He's functioning- most of the time, but only on automatic. He operates in a surreal world, largely shying away from social interactions and empathetic human contact.

Through the first portion of the book, we experience Theo's grief firsthand, but primarily as he starts to emerge from the haze to 'become human' once again. It's not perfect- there are relapses, fits, and sometimes painfully slow growth. The first half of the book truly felt more like a character study in grief and is affects on humans. We get to spend a fair amount of time with Ben, seeing him as part of Theo's frequent, and sometimes sporadic and unexpected, flashbacks.

Speaking of flashbacks- Several reviewers commented on the numerous flashbacks, indicating that they felt the flashbacks were not clearly defined, they separated the reader from the story and were excessive. I agree... To a point. If you detest flashbacks, this story isn't for you. And yet - I love that the author did it this way. The abrupt mid-action flashbacks only contributed further to the surreal quality of grief. The reader gets a very real feel for how pervasive the absence of someone can be in your life. It's smothering.

Fortunately, through a series of events, we see a slow re-emergence of Theo into the world. He starts to build relationships – sometimes successfully, sometimes not - he makes new friends, and he begins to rebuild himself.

This is a very slow-paced book. In fact, we don't see the true relationship emerged until approximately 2/3 of the way through the story. But it fits. The slow build of a new relationship is absolutely realistic and succeeded in building tension. I almost couldn't put the book down last night -I just wanted to keep reading.

So why not more stars? It probably deserves more, but strangely when I went to finish the book today I couldn't remember what made it seem so impactful to me previously. Sadly, it was a little forgettable. That, and the resolution to the final conflict seemed very quick to me.

Still, this was absolutely a solid, endearing read and I look forward to reading more from this author in the future.

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Aug 18, 2012 Camille rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m-rom-erotica

Amazing!!!

Masterfully written and strongly resounds.

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Apr 07, 2013 Ulysses Dietz rated it 5 of 5 stars

Love. Loss. Empathy. Healing. Among the hundreds of gay novels I've read, "After Ben" stands out by reason of its clean, thoughtful writing and the emotional maturity of its narrative.

Theo is a successful Seattle corporate number-cruncher, just at the start of middle-age. After a year of grieving the sudden loss of his longtime partner, Ben deLuca, he is beginning to try to find his way out of the painful isolation in which he wrapped himself in the aftermath of Ben's death.

Riley's finest achiev...more

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Mar 16, 2013 Chuck rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites, kindle-lending-library

Love. Loss. Empathy. Healing. Among the hundreds of gay novels I've read, After Ben stands out by reason of its clean, thoughtful writing and the emotional maturity of its narrative.

Theo is a successful Seattle corporate number-cruncher, just at the start of middle-age. After a year of grieving the sudden loss of his longtime partner, Ben deLuca, he is beginning to try to find his way out of the painful isolation in which he wrapped himself in the aftermath of Ben's death.

Riley's finest achievem...more Love. Loss. Empathy. Healing. Among the hundreds of gay novels I've read, After Ben stands out by reason of its clean, thoughtful writing and the emotional maturity of its narrative.

Theo is a successful Seattle corporate number-cruncher, just at the start of middle-age. After a year of grieving the sudden loss of his longtime partner, Ben deLuca, he is beginning to try to find his way out of the painful isolation in which he wrapped himself in the aftermath of Ben's death.

Riley's finest achievement in After Ben is the character development of every single player in her tale. From Theo himself, to his parents, his devoted assistant Maggie; to the firm's summer interns Evan and Joel, his online friend Morgan, and gym buddy Peter - every single portrait is engraved deeply on our mind's eye. Most moving of all is the shadow of Ben himself, whose presence is as vivid is any of the living participants in Theo's story.

After Ben is a study of grief and regret that evolves into a story of healing and hope. By the time I was done with this book, I felt like these people were all family. This is a book I wish my straight friends would read, because it illuminates the life of the human heart in ways that never grow old.

Ms. Riley falls right into the same author arena as Amy Lane and Ben Monpoli. She presents us with characters who have some fair amount of damage, but there is no downside to her work, as you quickly fall in love with her main, and especially the secondary, characters, and continue to hope for the best for them throughout each novel.

If you're a fan of either Ms. Lane or Mr. Monopoli (or both), you can't go wrong with this author.

ETA: I just finished the second novel in this (so far) three-part series, and am strenuously recommending it to anyone who likes novels which stress ongoing friends and family relationship development. For this reason, I'm really advocating reading the novels in the order they were written (After Ben; Saving Sean;and Aiden's Luck.) I really hope this series continues for many more novels. There is the possibility of this thing going on and on and, so far, I've liked each succeeding novel more as I've come to know, and have hopes for, the various members of the little group of Seattle-based friends and family. (Oh, and they go to Milan, Italy, Europe - as Lorelei Lee would say......so cool!)
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Nov 15, 2012 Susan Laine rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a very realistic story about a man who has his long-time partner. In fact, it's so realistic that at times I just wished the tale was condensed a bit. Especially considering the main characters don't even meet in person until two thirds into the book, and the ending felt too abridged.

Theo lost his partner of fifteen years, Ben, in a sudden accident. For a year he's been doing nothing but barely getting through the day. In this aspect this story shines, as his inner turmoil, of wanting to...more

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Nov 01, 2012 Perv Pack rated it 4 of 5 stars

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. The following is a joint review of both After Ben and it's sequel Saving Sean.

Over the last few years, I have developed a soft spot for m/m fiction. I like stories that are realistic, have depth and mystery, and give me a healthy glimpse into a character's life and growth. After Ben and Con Riley, has all that and more. Richly told, both are stories of love, loss, and finding love all over again.

Let me start with After Ben. Theo Anderson has spent the last year muddling through life under the da...more

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Aug 25, 2012 Jennifer rated it 3 of 5 stars

This edges a little closer to 3.5

This is a good book; I enjoyed it. I just wonder if there's a term for gay chick-lit because that's more what this was rather than romance. It was appropriately named, too, because the story was very much about Theo's life with Ben and the aftermath of losing him. Don't get me wrong - Theo does learn to love again with Morgan, and I enjoyed what there is to see of their relationship a lot. I just wanted more of it - lots more.

The sex was smokin' hot (even the gli...more This edges a little closer to 3.5

This is a good book; I enjoyed it. I just wonder if there's a term for gay chick-lit because that's more what this was rather than romance. It was appropriately named, too, because the story was very much about Theo's life with Ben and the aftermath of losing him. Don't get me wrong - Theo does learn to love again with Morgan, and I enjoyed what there is to see of their relationship a lot. I just wanted more of it - lots more.

The sex was smokin' hot (even the glimpses into cyber sex are great - esp when Theo recollects one of them before answering the question of whether Morgan might just be looking for friendship). I was a bit miffed that their first intercourse was only seen in flashback, though. And for those who don't like flashback this book is full of it - not only when we see Ben, either; even current stuff is frequently related via flashback.

I liked that Theo's parents realized the mistake they had made by not being as welcoming to Ben as they might have been; it cost them, Theo, and Ben a lot. I'm glad they learned from it and that Theo was very up front that he wouldn't allow that to happen again with Morgan. I do think the situation (Theo's parents and Ben) is brought up way more than necessary. I think it's mentioned at least once per chapter.

I liked the initial mystery of Morgan and that he wasn't as unfamiliar to Theo as he thought.

My biggest "issue" with the story is (view spoiler)

I know there's a follow-up coming about Peter that I'll definitely be reading; I just wish there would be a true sequel (or at least a short story) to this book. This book was Theo's journey to a life without Ben, and Morgan felt very much like a secondary character; now it's time to tell the story of Theo and Morgan - or it feels that way to me, anyway.(less)

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Aug 18, 2012 Top 2 Bottom Reviews Interviews and More rated it 5 of 5 stars

Every once in a while I’ll come across a book that is so realistically told; I could easily believe the story could be happening to a relative or a friend. I swear I could almost feel the intense loss of Theo’s partner through every move and word he made, but I also appreciated how Theo was able to work through his grief and open himself to falling in love again.

Ever since Theo’s partner passed away, he’s been going through the motions of life. He’s aware that others want him to get out and enjo...more Every once in a while I’ll come across a book that is so realistically told; I could easily believe the story could be happening to a relative or a friend. I swear I could almost feel the intense loss of Theo’s partner through every move and word he made, but I also appreciated how Theo was able to work through his grief and open himself to falling in love again.

Ever since Theo’s partner passed away, he’s been going through the motions of life. He’s aware that others want him to get out and enjoy life more, but Theo is unable to do it all at once. Instead, he takes it slowly and at an even pace that feels right for him. Unable to really connect well face to face with others, he joins a political chat room and finds himself becoming friends with a funny and snarky commenter, Morgan.
As he and Morgan start exchanging instant messages and emails, their relationship slowly starts to develop and take shape. Theo begins to think of Morgan more often, and becomes attracted to Morgan, even though he doesn’t know who he really is, or what he looks like. After time, when Theo finds out Morgan’s identity, he becomes faced with the decision of allowing himself possible finding love again, or being alone with his memories of his past lover forever.

There’s nothing I didn’t like about Theo. Although he’s suffered a great loss, Theo is really stronger than he gives himself credit for. He’s intelligent, funny and practically lived and breathed off of the written page. I liked how he’s able to pick himself up after losing the life he cherished and loved with his partner, Ben, and was able to allow himself to be able to love again. I felt empathy for his loss, and really hoped he’d be able to work through the devastation of losing Ben. Theo was a character I really was able to rally behind and I loved his huge capacity to open himself up to love again.

Morgan was another character I really loved. He’s witty, snarky and kept Theo on his toes. I enjoyed the rapport and the friendship that he and Theo had together, and loved watching their relationship evolve into something truly special. I also appreciated how Morgan wasn’t really threatened by Ben, and it showed real love and maturity for him to willingly share Theo’s heart (and life) with him.

There’s not a lot of action or mystery to this book. Instead it focuses on the characters’ lives. I liked the slow buildup between Theo and Morgan and really appreciated watching them come to terms with their feelings for each other, and also become determined to have something special together. I also liked how Theo’s grief and feelings of loss from losing his lover wasn’t just swept under the rug. I thought the whole story was very well-written and it lived in my thoughts long after I finished the book.

After Ben is a perfect read for those craving a slow building romance with humanly flawed characters, that deal with the speed bumps life often throws your way. This is the first book I’ve read by Con Riley and it definitely won’t be my last. I enjoyed the intensity of the storyline and the sweet and not-so-easy romance the author portrayed. If you are looking for a romance that has an authentic storyline with characters you’d be proud to call friends in your own life, After Ben is definitely the story for you. Highly Recommended.

Reviewed By: Gabbi(less)

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Aug 13, 2012 Èmina rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: devoured-it, love-it, m-m, m-m-romance, bittersweet-and-heartbreaking, abuse

I started this book like I usually start so many of the books in the MM niche these days...I guess you could say I have resigned myself to the mediocre when reading this genre...rarely do I see something special that makes me really pause and think...
So...without much hope...I started this book and thought it was only going to be a fast read, I was going to know who the love interest was within the first 50 pages and there would probably be one or two sex scenes within the first 100 pages.
One of...more
I started this book like I usually start so many of the books in the MM niche these days...I guess you could say I have resigned myself to the mediocre when reading this genre...rarely do I see something special that makes me really pause and think...
So...without much hope...I started this book and thought it was only going to be a fast read, I was going to know who the love interest was within the first 50 pages and there would probably be one or two sex scenes within the first 100 pages.
One of the characters was going to be whiny and annoying, needy and girly, the other was going to be some kind of macho idiot and sex would heal all the hurt away. Add some angst and voila...MM!!

HELL NO...after reading 20 % I had to stop...I had no idea who the love interest was and I was completely missing the point and the story because I kept expecting the bad stuff to rain down...so I stopped, went back to the first page and started all over again. This time slowly, I took my time and read it all.
This was one amazing read, so heartbreaking and so bittersweet, this book made me miss Ben so much.
A character who is dead and who we only hear about from time to time from our main character Theo...and yet his shadow and Theo's memory of him is so powerful and so real that it at times really hurt to read about him.

It was in a sense two books rolled in one...Theo and Ben's love story and then Theo's story after Ben...this might sound confusing since those two story's are so entwined in each other...but it's not, the author really did well in telling and showing us the life that once was and the life that took shape during this book. This book you could say was Theo's story, his life after he lost Ben but within that story there is the memory of Ben, their life, love, the loss and then the new beginning.

I loved everything from the pace, the characters, the humor, the grief, bittersweet memories and the slow blooming love.

This is one of those books that make me wonder what the hell I was thinking when I gave other books 5 stars...this book deserves more then that...it deserves a rating all on it's own.
Hell YES I recommend this book.
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Aug 06, 2012 Sunne rated it 5 of 5 stars

Oh my....where to start. I saw this book in the "to read"-list of one of my favorite authors and later read her review. I wanted to read something substatial - not a fast food book..nice and easy and easy to forget.

Well, my wish was granted. This is not the average m/m romance. A huge part of the book deals with the loss of Theo's partner Ben, a guy larger than life and so much part of Theo's life that loosing him was like loosing all limbs. We get to know Theo after he had mourned nearly a year...more

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About Con Riley

Con Riley lives on the wild and rugged Devonshire coast, with her head in the clouds, and her feet in the Atlantic Ocean.

Injury curtailed her enjoyment of outdoor pursuits, so writing fiction now fills her free time instead. Love, loss and redemption shape her romance stories, and her characters are flawed in ways that makes them live and breathe.

When not people watching, or wrangling her own bo...more

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Quotes from After Ben

“MORGAN: Help me out here.
THEO: What's up?
MORGAN: Don't make me spell it out, Theo.
THEO: Oh.
MORGAN:Just talk dirty for a while.
THEO: Blue-sky thinking. Thought shower. Full spectrum leadership.
MORGAN: NOT corporate dirty. Sex dirty.
THEO: I wouldn't know where to start.” — 12 people liked it

“We all need people, Theo. It doesn't matter how we find the people who matter to us; it just matters that we hold on to them” — 5 people liked it

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