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Pirate Therapy and Other Cures

3.42  ·  Rating Details  ·  79 Ratings  ·  25 Reviews
Ever wondered what might happen if your therapist was replaced by a pirate? Or how disquieting it would be to receive postcards from your future self? If William Shatner was elected President of the United States, what would his inaugural address sound like? Mark A. Rayner tackles these and stranger questions in his collection of short stories, essays and flash fiction tha ...more
Kindle Edition, 169 pages
Published March 15th 2012 by Monkeyjoy Press (first published March 12th 2012)
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Nov 11, 2012 Katy rated it really liked it
Recommends it for: fans of the odd, surreal, obscure, Rayner's blog, Canadians
Shelves: ebook
Book Info: Genre: Humorous short stories
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: Canadians; those who enjoy surreal short stories, fans of Rayner’s blog

Disclosure: I picked this book up on Amazon when I noticed it one day because it sounded like something I would enjoy. I am reviewing it because I want to. All opinions are my own.

Synopsis: Ever wondered what might happen if your therapist was replaced by a pirate? Or how disquieting it would be to receive postcards from your future self? If William
Mark Rayner
Mar 16, 2012 Mark Rayner rated it it was amazing  ·  (Review from the author)  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: humor
Obviously, I'm biased, but I am pleased with how this book came together.

It's a collection of drivel (some pure, some quite tainted with meaning), that I've written over the past six years or so. Some of the short pieces have appeared in online magazines, and some in my regular blog, The Skwib. Many are original pieces, too.
Jun 05, 2012 David rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
As you might expect from Rayner, I had quite a bit of fun with this one. "The Amadeus Net" is still my favorite (I like to see Rayner try to keep up the weirdness for long periods of time), but this was still some really good stuff. Rayner definitely thinks up some odd thoughts and has a great sense of humor. I'm glad he decided to share it all.
Jennifer (JC-S)
‘Wikipedia claims the unicorn is a mythological creature, and this just proves how unreliable the website is as a source.’

Mark Rayner has a unique view of the world, and I’m indebted to him for sharing it in this book. ‘Pirate Therapy and Other Cures’ is a collection of essays, flash fiction and short stories which addresses important issues including:

‘How do you deal with wrap rage?’
(Wrap rage is ‘the rising rage and dementia that you feel when you are unable to open the shiny new thing you ha
Apr 13, 2012 Scott rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: in-my-library
Mark Rayner is a genius! No, wait. Maybe not genius. Mark Rayner is hilarious! Much better. Well, maybe more like mostly hilarious partial genius. Yeah, that works. Needless to say, I really enjoy his writing. And thanks to his generosity, he emailed me and asked me if I would like to receive a copy of his new book to read and review. Yeah, that’s like asking a Red Wings’ fan if he’s interested in a ticket to a playoff game. DUH!

In all seriousness, I want to thank Mark for making the offer. I pl
May 27, 2012 Lisa rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Lisa by: It's lovely author!
It's not often you come across a book that was seemingly designed to appeal specifically to you, but when I was kindly offered a free download by the author, that's what happened to me.

A selection of writing on a wide variety of topics (postcards from your future self, an alternative history of unicorns and a rant from Batman are just a few of the things awaiting you inside), this was chock full of imagination and wit, with only a small short one not doing anything for me (and then, only because
Jun 15, 2012 Darlene rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: Yvensong, S. Michele, Cheryl in CC NV, Ralph, Tom, Chris
Recommended to Darlene by: Mark A. Rayner
LOL! So many times I found myself laughing out loud while reading this book. Sometimes I would have to wait until I cleared away the tears, and of course, do a quick read aloud to my husband so he could see why I was laughing so hard. Then back to reading. I did use the text-to-speech feature and the mispronunciations added to my giggling. Then the snark value and the tongue-in-cheek humor would double me over. LOVED THIS BOOK! Next time I'm feeling down I will pull this out and read it again.

Laura Haggart
Jun 03, 2012 Laura Haggart rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Pirate Therapy and Other Cures had me hooked after the very first piece. It’s a collection of short stories and essays, many of which are less than a page. The pieces are clever and humourous, but some show Rayner’s more serious side – a rare occurrence in this book.

I’ve devised a list of a few of my favourite pieces in Pirate Therapy. This may mean absolutely nothing to you, but I highly recommend these pieces if, for some bizarre reason, you find yourself unable to read the entire collection.
May 06, 2012 Literary rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Mr. Rayner brings us wit, sarcasm, and a slightly deranged view of the world, as he sees it, in Pirate Therapy and Other Cures. From "wrap rage" which is "the rising anger and dementia that you feel when you are unable to open the shiny new thing you have just purchased" (e.g., CD's) to the "Thomas Kincaid Pop-up Christmas Tree and Santa Virus Dispenser" (which helps to increase holiday sales) there is no limit to Mr. Rayner's comic genius. Most of the vignettes are 2-3 pages, so this is light r ...more
Sep 10, 2012 Heather rated it it was ok
I was so disappointed with this book =( It looked like it would be hilarious but it wasn't. =(

I was debating whether or not to give this book 1 or 2 stars, so I'd say 1.5 stars.

I found most of the book very boring and not funny save for about 2 or 3 stories. Hardly any of the stories held my attention, and I struggled to read most of the stories. Sometimes I'd start reading them and end up skipping them.

I did finish this book in the hopes it would get better, but it didn't. Such a shame really a
Jul 01, 2012 Acquafortis rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
It all started well. I laughed for the first part of the book but then really I could not take it anymore. I finished it because I had to.
I can enjoy reading one or two deranged stories but reading a whole book, well it is just not my cup of tea.
So if you want a fully loaded, utterly surreal, twisted beyond recognition science fiction and insane alternate history short story telling, then go ahead this book is for you.
Maybe it is just me that I am not so DNA morphed to enjoy the all of it.
Crystal Chm
Loved this book! Highly recommended!

(I admit I originally planned on selling this book once read, but it's so damn funny I'm keeping it to re-read later on.)

It's hard to pick my favorite passages in the book, but I'll try:

- Lucidiva - From what the book describes, I look forward to seeing this drug on the market :)
- Jesussic Park.
- Restraint.
- General Kang's advice column - sprinkled throughout the book.
Donald Armfield
Mark Rayner gave me a copy. but forgot to warn me that I may crack a rib. A laughing applause for General Lang.

Flash Fiction including Advice from General Lang, Clown Apocalypse, The Device and Pirate Therapy. The side affects of Lucidiva is funny I always make up my own side effects for all those medicines on the market.

Mark explaining the horror of taking Barbie Doll outta of package. is a must read.
Cal Chayce
Jul 25, 2012 Cal Chayce rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Hahahahaha! Man, this book is chock full o' some seriously hilarious bits. I love General Kang in particular, but the whole thing is priceless. The author's got some pretty twisted interpretations of history and everything else. More times than I can count, I caught myself laughing right out loud, something I very rarely do when reading. Great stuff!
These flash fictions are so creative and really funny (and some times really bizzare, but in a good way). It's great if you're just in the mood to read a couple of quick pages and be really entertained. I might try out one of his novels now.
Kane Faucher
Apr 15, 2012 Kane Faucher rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Published in Western News. Scroll all the way down to the last one (but not last in terms of goodness!)
Nov 08, 2012 Ariya rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Absolutely loved this!
Sherry Ramsey
May 22, 2012 Sherry Ramsey rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: read-2012
Mark A. Rayner and I have a lot in common. I mean, we're both Canadian, we both write speculative fiction, and, that is, we both....Hmmm. Okay, so we don't have a whole lot in common, but we do have this--we share a twisted and absurd sense of humour. I'm a regular visitor to Mark's blog, aptly advertised as containing "scribblings, squibs, and sundry monkey joys"--or in other words, generalized nonsense. But take note: generalized nonsense of the highest order.

Which brings me to
Jan 28, 2015 Phronk rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: fiction, bizarro, short
This is akin to a collection of B-sides that compliment Rayner's primary works. With such a large number of short stories and blog posts, he is free to experiment with bizarre concepts that couldn't have stood on their own. That's both a blessing and a curse, leading to a hit-and-miss collection. However, it's more hit than miss, and definitely worth a read if you're down with Rayner's strange style of humour.
Apr 18, 2015 Michael rated it it was ok

These look like self-training of a writer - and they should have stayed with the writer. I really liked his "Fridgularity", but this one should not have been published.
Mark Victor Young
Jul 02, 2012 Mark Victor Young rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
So many hilarious short pieces in this new book from the author of Marvellous Hairy. It features robots, zombies, pirates, monkeys, interstellar overlord and advice columnist General Kang as well as the return of Dr. Tundra. Lots of laughs here in a collection of bizarre sci-fi stuff. Great bathroom book - highly recommend!
Nov 30, 2013 Renée rated it liked it
While some parts of this book were highly amusing, original, and entertaining, various sections were verbose and lacking umph. I never knew whether what I was about to read would be worth reading to the point I considered not even finishing it.
Nov 03, 2012 Eric rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book surprised me by being so engaging, it was funny all the way through but it also had a whimsical dream-like quality that was endearing.
Feb 21, 2013 Sara rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
I could not get into this book... It's silly, light and fun, but it just wasn't very engaging or exciting.
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Human-shaped, simian-obsessed, robot-fighting, pirate-hearted, bestseller wannabe, Mark A. Rayner is an award-winning writer of satirical & speculative fiction.

By day he is a university prof and by night, a writer of satirical novels, short stories, squibs and other drivel. (Some pure, and some quite tainted with meaning.) His most recent novel, The Fridgularity, won an Indie Reader Discovery
More about Mark A. Rayner...

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