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Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma

4.23 of 5 stars 4.23  ·  rating details  ·  66 ratings  ·  12 reviews
The first encouraging, sex-positive guide for all women survivors of sexual assault — heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, coupled, and single — who want to reclaim their sex lives. While most books on the topic broach sexuality only to reassure women that it is all right to say “no” to unwanted sex, Healing Sex encourages women to learn how to say “yes” — to their own desires ...more
Paperback, 320 pages
Published November 28th 2007 by Cleis Press
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The Courage to Heal by Ellen BassThe Courage to Heal Workbook by Laura   DavisAllies in Healing by Laura DavisGoodnight, and Thanks for the Vodka by HarpieTrauma and Recovery by Judith Lewis Herman
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7th out of 103 books — 45 voters
Opening Up by Tristan TaorminoThe Ethical Slut by Dossie EastonGuide to Getting It On! by Paul JoannidesSex at Dawn by Christopher  RyanThe Good Vibrations Guide to Sex by Cathy Winks
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Community Reviews

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this is a great, VERY accessible guide for survivor's of sexual abuse, especially child abuse. i found it both insightful and incredibly down-to-earth. Staci Haines helps survivors take control of their sexual lives again, and move forwards on the path of healing. the book is written mainly for women, but even as an ally i gained a lot from it.
I'd recommend this book to anybody, not just the survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Repeated images of gruesome rapes and murders locked within our culture's collective memory does damage.
This book has a lot of sound advice about healing from sexual trauma.

My main takeaways are:
trust your instincts,
take time to discover who you are,
be aware of your physical body and how trauma is stored within it,
don't be afraid to ask for what you need,
most of all, you're worth it

There are many quotes from different clients the author has worked with over the years spread through out the book. At first it was nice to read. After a while they were interfering with the content for me. Overall
This book takes a physical, body-based approach to healing trauma from sexual abuse or assault. It's about identifying emotions and feelings in your body and discovering how they were caused by or relate to your abuse. The idea is that when you can connect your present physical andT emotional feelings to memories of past trauma, you can begin to understand the present day feelings and work through them, heal them. The book has excellent sections on dissociation, handling triggers, and figuring o ...more
Mar 03, 2008 HeavyReader rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: anyone interested in healthy, empowered sexuality
Here is the review that I wrote for the Feminist Review blog.

I’ve wanted to read this book since it was first published in 1999 as The Survivor’s Guide to Sex: How to Have an Empowered Sex Life After Child Sexual Abuse, so I was pleased to review this updated second edition.

I had forgotten that the focus is on survivors of childhood sexual abuse, and the new subtitle obscures that detail. However, I think this book could be helpful for any woman recovering from any sexual abuse, no matter what
Molly Octopus
This book is an updated version of Haines' previous book about healing from child sexual abuse... it just has a different title. I read it expecting a different book and was rather disappointed. I think releasing the same book under a different title is misleading, but oh well. I'll give it 4 stars, like the previous version. They're really the same.
The best thing about this book is it has near the beginning a few pages of "here's the minimum of self-care that you should have in place in order to tackle this work". It's a nice baseline for everyone, really, and it's a nice warning, frankly!
I found Staci Haines writing about trauma to be very hopeful and inspiring. Reading this book helped center me and focus on the important act of healing. I found it was easy to relate to as a guy.
A very helpful and insightful book. Could be better-written, but that's easy to forgive with a book like this. Helped me resolve a lot of confusion, and normalized what was happening with me which also helped me gain confidence. Very grateful I found this book.
Lauren Grousd
Great sex-positive book for survivors of sexual abuse or assault. A reminder that you're not "broken" and that you can experience your sexuality as a positive, healthy, enjoyable part of who you are!
May 05, 2014 Indigo marked it as to-read
Recommended by Robin Mandell at Scarleteen
I picked up this book after it was recommended to me because I am a massage therapist who works with trauma survivors. The book is obviously written for the survivors themselves, and as such there were "self-help" techniques that I don't anticipate using in my practice, but which seem like they would be helpful. That being said, it's still a resource I turn to years later, and I think it's very well written.
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