<![CDATA[Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce]]>

false <![CDATA[Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1185099145m/1551988.jpg 1551988 1 A compelling new study reveals the true effects of divorce An astonishing one quarter of adults between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five have grown up in divorced families. Now, as this generation comes of age, Between Two Worlds will speak to them like no other book. Elizabeth Marquardt (together with sociologist Norval Glenn) conducted a pioneering new national study of the children of divorce, surveying 1,500 young adults from both divorced and intact families and interviewing more than seventy of them at length. In Between Two Worlds, she weaves the findings of that study together with powerful, unsentimental stories of the childhoods of young people from divorced families—as well as her own story of growing up as a child of divorce. She asks us to acknowledge that children are profoundly shaped by divorce, even though, as adults, they might be accomplished and seem “fine.” While many experts maintain that there are “good divorces,” praise the idea of “blended families,” and assure divorced parents that kids are resilient, Marquardt calls this “happy talk” and warns that it causes children to bury their real feelings. The hard truth, she says, is that while divorce is sometimes necessary, there is no such thing as a good divorce. An amicable divorce is certainly better than a bitter one, but even amicable divorces sow lasting inner conflict in the lives of children. When a family breaks in two, children who stay in touch with both parents must travel between two worlds, trying alone to reconcile their parents’ often strikingly different beliefs, values, and ways of living. Even a “good divorce” restructures childhood itself. Not surprisingly, many children of divorce seem like old souls. Often they feel like they have a different identity in each of their parents’ worlds. Secrets are epidemic. Home feels less safe, and they are far less likely than the children of intact marriages to go to their parents for comfort or emotional support. Some question their parents’ morality and choices. Like their peers from intact families, they long for spirituality, but their feelings of loss, mistrust, and anger toward their parents deeply complicate their spiritual journeys—even translating into anger at God. Marquardt’s data is undeniably compelling, but at the heart of her book are stories—of reunions with one parent that were always partings from the other, of struggles to adapt to a parent’s moods, of the burden of having to figure out the important questions in life alone. Authoritative, beautifully written, and filled with brave, sad, unflinchingly honest voices, Between Two Worlds is a book of transforming power for the adult children of divorce, whose real experiences have for too long gone unrecognized. Based on a pioneering new study, Between Two Worlds is a book of transforming power for anyone who grew up with divorced parents. After the divorce, our parents may no longer have been in conflict, but the conflict between their worlds was still alive. Yet instead of being in the open, visible to outsiders, the conflict between their worlds migrated and took root within us. When we sought our own identities—when we asked “Who am I?”—we were confronted with two wholly separate ways of living. Any answer we gleaned from one world could be undermined by looking at the other. Being too much like Dad could threaten the Mom-self inside us, and vice versa. These conflicts were not raised in conversation with or between our parents, or with anybody else, but internally. We were one in our bodies but we did not feel one inside. Even the “good divorce” left us struggling with divided selves. —from Between Two Worlds 1544367 27 9 2005 Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce total:4|5:2|4:2| 4 18 8 2 4 0 false false Wed Jan 21 00:00:00 -0800 2009 Thu Jan 15 19:08:14 -0800 2009 Thu Jan 22 08:40:02 -0800 2009 more...]]> 4 0 false false Wed Feb 20 00:00:00 -0800 2008 Sat Feb 23 09:13:01 -0800 2008 Sat Feb 23 09:15:16 -0800 2008 more...]]> 0 0 false false Fri Jan 09 10:51:39 -0800 2009 Fri Jan 09 10:51:47 -0800 2009 5 0 false false Sat Dec 20 23:02:04 -0800 2008 Sat Dec 20 23:02:05 -0800 2008 0 0 false false Thu Nov 20 09:46:13 -0800 2008 Thu Nov 20 09:46:13 -0800 2008 5 0 false false Sun Oct 12 20:10:59 -0700 2008 Sun Oct 12 21:47:04 -0700 2008 0 0 false false Sat May 03 10:23:20 -0700 2008 Sat May 03 10:23:20 -0700 2008 0 0 false false Sat Nov 17 18:20:31 -0800 2007 Sat Nov 17 18:20:31 -0800 2007 http://www.goodreads.com/book_link/follow/8?book_id=1551988