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The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence
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The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence

3.7 of 5 stars 3.70  ·  rating details  ·  225 ratings  ·  24 reviews
"The Cinderella Complex" offers women a real opportunity to achieve the emotional independence that means so much more than a new job or a new love. It can help you no matter what your age or your goals. You cannot read it without changing the way you think - and maybe the way you live.
Paperback, 10 pages
Published October 1st 1990 by Pocket Books (first published January 1st 1981)
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I read this book in my early 20s. I can say that it did change my life (or got me started down the right path since my life wasn't much of anything at the time apart from being a student). I was subconsciously waiting for a man "to save me" and probably making some choices that reflected that. Because of this booked I ended up changing my direction in college/university and became more career focused. As another reviewer has said, this is likely written from the perspective of the earlier wave o ...more
As much as I'd hate to admit that I feel somewhat reliant on what a man thinks of me (and reliant on wanting to be "taken care of"), I am that way. This book explores what is known as the "Cinderella Complex", that little something that tends to keep women from seeking what they want, because they feel they don't deserve it.

Parts of the book were hard to follow, only because it was a copy published back in the 80's, so a lot of it seemed irrelevant. Yet, if you took away the decade differences,
I thought Dowling made some very great points and from my race and class position, I could definitely apply some of these principles to my life. However, the suggestion to middle class women that they should hire housekeepers in order that they would have more time to pursue their own dreams and goals was outright offensive to me. It created this hierarchy that positioned middle class women above poorer women (likely women of color) who would be those housekeepers. The message is that these midd ...more
Dowling presents a pretty self-centered version of a late-first-wave feminist manifesto under the auspices of psychological insight...I think.

I got really bored skimming this. Not only did I disagree with it, I think Gail Carson Levine effectively disproves the fundamental rhetoric of the "Cinderella Complex" in Ella Enchanted. Probably.
Joy Airaudi
This book made me a feminist!
a must read for all women
This book explored the deep-rooted dependency exists in many female. Compared with female, males face greater developmental challenges during their childhood and hence is less susceptible to problems related to dependency. But eventually, everybody has responsible for himself or herself, regardless of gender.

Thought-provoking though poorly structured...
Karen Kane
I read this book when I was just 23 and it had a profound effect on me. I recommend it for every young woman.
Jun 11, 2008 S rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone
This is a good read due to the fact that it asks many questions that are not commonly covered. It takes you places that are still relevant and asks you to question the decisions you have made and the future decisions you will have to make as a women, wife and mother.
An astutely observed book. Very worth while read and re-read. It changed for the better my understanding of the opposite sex. And this was Jungian in its understanding and argument, even though I believe that Dowling is not a Jungian.
I started this in the 1980s, and it sat in my "need to finish" pile forever. I think I liked it alot better when I started it (although maybe not, since I didn't finish it right away). In 2010, it seems a little dated.
Lisa Harris
I read this book in my very early 20s and it was life-changing. I still did some dumb things based on silly assumptions, but today I am a better woman and a better mother because of reading that book.
Having been written in 1981, I thought that this book might be 'outdated". I found though that it manages to be quite timeless and remains current and useful. Sad in some places in its accuracy.
I could relate to aspects of this book's stance, but other parts seemed outdated or were just hard for me to relate to. It was interesting enough to read through, though.
Well, Colette makes a bunch of generalizations for women. Maybe the book was good when it first came out, but the ideas are pretty outdated. Couldn't get past page 50.
Sarah Ellis
This is a book I think all women should read. It doesn't have to apply to you as a person necessarily, but it is a good thing to think about.
Talks about how women can get trapped into a weak-thing - rescue me mode of relationships that continuously burn out and how to get out of that trap.
Read this back in the early '80's at which time it was marginally relevant to my life. Now it's not.
Mar 17, 2008 Sarah marked it as to-read
I have never heard of this book before but it looks really interesting.
very interesting. feminine literature. I would re-read.
Hayatımı bu kadar değiştiren başka hiç bir kitap olmamıştı.
I'm not sure when I read this.
Tammy Dietz
Sensitive and smart.
Leah marked it as to-read
Jan 25, 2015
Derekpowell is currently reading it
Jan 24, 2015
Lark Yıldırım
Lark Yıldırım marked it as to-read
Jan 20, 2015
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M Blankier is currently reading it
Jan 19, 2015
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