In his early thirties, Ethan Watters began to realize that none of his friends were following the paths of their parents. Instead of settling down ...
read full description
reviews
Jun 28, 2008
Nori
rated it: 
In short: This book made me feel like I'm not the only one without a plan, merrily skipping along like I have been ever since college, and starting to be surprised as friends begin to get married in droves. I suppose it helps that the author is in his early 30's, lives in SF, and appears to lead a lifestyle very similar to mine; it probably also helps that, after a book's worth of analyzing the current young urban collective social scene from every possible angle he could get a hook into, he en
More...
0 comments
like
(3 people liked it)
Sep 28, 2007
Manderson
rated it: 
While the book is well-written and easy to read, and Watters' concept of "urban tribes" is a good start to beginning to examine the social lives of the "Generation Xers", I felt that ultimately there isn't really much of depth here. Watters simply doesn't go far enough in his analysis to dredge up anything truly interesting. It's more just a mirror to him and his "urban tribe" ilk for them to groom and preen about how successful and individualistic they are (this is
More...
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Apr 29, 2010
Teresa
rated it: 
This book made a big impact on me in my first years living in San Francisco. I had moved here from the Phoenix-metro area right after college, and the ideas Watters describes validated a lot of the things I was experiencing, being far away from relatives and finding refuge in an ever-shifting and loosely-knit group of friends. There's a sense of belonging as well as a sense of longing for the relationships to grow, to last, and to truly support a lifestyle that's not bound by traditional expecta
More...
Sep 13, 2007
Catherine
rated it:
The personal stories and familiar narrative the author uses in the first 1/3 of this book are engaging and I was loving his sociological analysis --- and then we got to his take on Bowling Alone and his methodology was quacky to say the least.
Looking at the statistics he was referencing and the conclusions he was drawing - REACHING is a fair word choice. So enjoy this for its anecdotal sociology, as there's some truth in it, but read his conclusions critically.
After aw More...
Looking at the statistics he was referencing and the conclusions he was drawing - REACHING is a fair word choice. So enjoy this for its anecdotal sociology, as there's some truth in it, but read his conclusions critically.
After aw More...
Jan 28, 2010
Chic2SD
rated it:
So far kind of interesting. Got this from the SD writers ink book swap. Want to give it a go. Reminds me of my single days, when my house was open for all the player's to enter..... Been enjoying reading this on the treadmill.. It is a bit sociological, philosophical, and amusing.... So far though it needs to move a bit quicker or I will have to give it the Karate Chop.. wwwtttttaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, didn't give it the Karate Chop, but tough book to finish... I did, but feel like I wa More...
Ok, didn't give it the Karate Chop, but tough book to finish... I did, but feel like I wa More...
Jun 10, 2008
Hope
rated it:
This is schmascinating, don't get me wrong. It's something I and I'm sure many of those around me completely relate to. In this sense, though it does come off a bit dated. I haven't read the end yet, will get around to it one of these days, but from what I gather the author is so intent on not creating one stereotyped image of an "urban tribe" that much of what he proposes is left dangling.
In his defense, I'm sure the Gen X "tribe" was indeed a much bigger no More...
In his defense, I'm sure the Gen X "tribe" was indeed a much bigger no More...
Dec 17, 2009
Trine
rated it:
the concept of 'urban tribes' is interesting, and in this book Watters delves into network theory, evolutionary and genetic psychology and some rather flimsy ideas of 'what women want' in order to explain why so many young professional 'never-marrieds' prefer to spend their 20s and 30s with their friends rather than inside more traditional family-structures.
it's a light read, I read it in a few days, which for me means the book is either really really good or really light, and More...
Dec 27, 2007
well, i don't know. he seems to really go on and on about what exactly the problme is about why he can't commit to any of the 'attractive, charming and kind" women that he dates. Evolutionary phycology? hereditary "flaws", some kind of gender-biased upbringing? He doesn't know. Maybe it has something to do with women being aestetically hotter than men. But don't ask me. I'm just a women who apparantly wants to fuck the same guy for the rest of my life, right? I dOOOOoooooOOOooon't
More...
Aug 31, 2010
Jenny
rated it:
At first I thought this was really just a hipster defending his lifestyle, but it grew on me. He cited some interesting studies about relationships and marriage. As an unmarried late-20's-er, it was kind of reassuring that we're all on the right track with this late marriage thing.
Nov 11, 2007
Cindy
rated it:
This book is not overly deep or ground breaking but it was a joy to read because it touches on the phenomenon of the 'urban tribe'. The 'urban tribe' is presented as the social structure which fills what is often presented as a void between the stages of living in your parent's home and having a family of your own. The author admits to not being an expert on anthropology or psychology but ended up writing this book partially as a reaction to the often very negative commentaries on the ever gro
More...
Sep 25, 2009
Catherine
rated it:
While I like the initial concept - i.e. that friends fill some of the functions historically provided by family - Ethan's thoughts on the impact/pros/cons of this trend is personal conjecture, and not particularly thoughtful.
0 comments
like
(1 person liked it)
Nov 15, 2007
Mike
rated it: 
Dunno if you guys came across this as a book or when it was a series of articles, but it's a fabulous idea about how important friends are to our generation and how they're even replacing families in some instances (not sure if that's because people wanted to live out "Friends" or if their families suck). I tried to explain this to my mom once and she didn't get it. I imagine an idea like this appeals to people our and younger more and more because we're not getting married at a young
More...
Dec 17, 2009
Rachel
rated it:
This is a book that struck a cord with me. As a single person I get tired of dealing with stereotypes and clichés that are not accurate or fair. Just because I do not have a traditional family does not mean that I don't value the institution. I appreciate the fact that Watters is not defensive of the urban tribal lifestyle. Instead, he uses the book to show that the urban tribe movement deserves its own analysis. If we are only willing to look at our society through the lens of family than w
More...
Dec 15, 2008
Stephanie
rated it:
Great look at how people in their 20's & 30's are forming bonds like family. Set in San Francisco.
May 24, 2009
Jess
rated it:
this book certainly wasn't scientific, but totally reminded me of my own life. Really fun reading.
Jan 30, 2009
Sherri
rated it:
Loved this book's re-conception of family; describes how I've long lived my life.
May 29, 2008
Mat
rated it:
It's nithing new or groundbreaking or revolutionnary, but reading about how people all across the country (and supposedly across the world, if my experience is to be any indication) are living via their cirlcle of friends as a substitute to founding a family, was exhilarating and yes, reassuring in a way. The inner workings, taboos, rules, bonuses and benefits of a tribe seem to be similar world wide, it's a new way of life for the upcoming generations. A chance to prolong your youth while takin
More...
Nov 22, 2010
Claire
rated it:
Kiiiiiiiiiiind of interesting. This is one of those cases where the seed of an idea that seemed worth exploring was stretched out wayyyyyy too long to fit into book form. I gave up half-way through because I felt like I was reading the same thing over and over again.
Mar 10, 2011
Ilse
rated it:
Een zeer interessante kijk op een herkenbaar fenomeen. Vrienden die de rol opnemen die vroeger alleen weggelegd was voor bloedverwanten. Deze rollen worden echter steeds opnieuw geformuleerd, zeker wanneer leden nieuwe kerngezinnen gaan vormen. Blijft nog zeer hedendaags.
Dec 28, 2007
Aaron
rated it: 
Such a good concept that gets completely lost in this guys own self indulgence and eventual negation of his original starting point. He loses the plot and doesn't say much of note as a result. The most you will get from the book is in the title, go with that concept and read a lot of other books that are far better. Maybe Douglas Coupland or something, and then, at least you will get the enjoyment of a novel.
Oct 07, 2009
Anna
rated it:
Wow, after a long drive to and from Burning Man, the timing of this book entering my life is not-so-random. I was pondering these very issues....my framily: my friends I have chosen as my family.
Jan 09, 2008
Cindy
rated it:
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book - it's a great analysis of the trend of making a family out of your friends (and there is really no scientific terminology or academic reading tone so it's an easy read.) Although not geared specifically towards a queer audience, I imagine our population can relate very easily to the central group of liberal twenty- and thirty-somethings in this book.
Dec 16, 2009
Amy
rated it:
i'm glad i read this book and understand that the idea of having a family away from the house and community you grew up in is a common phenomenon.
after a few chapters i understood the point- and it got slightly verbose and lengthy- but i get it. and i liked it. and i've shared it with my SF urban tribe.
AND it's about a post-college group living in SF. so that was fun too.
after a few chapters i understood the point- and it got slightly verbose and lengthy- but i get it. and i liked it. and i've shared it with my SF urban tribe.
AND it's about a post-college group living in SF. so that was fun too.
Mar 20, 2008
Chris
rated it:
Pretty quick read and explores some interesting ideas. Ultimately probably shouldn't have been much more than a NY Times magazine article, but still fun nevertheless for how close to home some of this stuff hits. It's also too bad that Watters never really deals too squarely with issues of affluence and class when considering his whole urban tribe idea.
Mar 05, 2008
Mandy
rated it:
I found this book randomly at a bookstore. When I read it I was single and could have been a character in the book. It was so true to life. I recommend it to any twentysomething/thirtysomething singleton living in a city away from home. You may find yourself in there too! It helped me appreciate that time of life and helped me to see it for what it was.
