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The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography

3.84  ·  Rating Details ·  124 Ratings  ·  20 Reviews
“An extremely helpful and much needed resource….I highly recommend it.”

—Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want


Internationally recognized sex therapist, educator, lecturer, and author of The Sexual Healing Journey, Wendy Maltz offers proven strategies for healing from porn addiction. Boldly addressing a debilitating problem that no one likes to talk about, T
Hardcover, 304 pages
Published April 22nd 2008 by William Morrow
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May 01, 2008 Stacey rated it it was amazing
This is the first book I received from the Harper Collins First Look program, and what a way to start. I have a dear friend who is a self-professed porn addict, struggling for many years to completely eliminate his porn use.

This book doesn't judge or preach. It's not a morality issue. They delve into the beginnings of the addiction, how our childhood exposure largely determines our relationship with porn later, and how it escalates.

The two biggest things I took away were:

1) This addiction has a
Aug 30, 2010 Joseph rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
i'm still not convinced that "porn addiction" and other "behavioral" addictions exist. mainly, 'cause i have a hard time understanding that an addiction can exist without physiological withdrawal. however, i picked up the book, thinking that it'd be a good read . . . even though it was written by two LCSWs.
there were several good points in the book, one being that porn can cause strain within the relationship. it also makes finding a relationship a lot more difficult. mainly, it makes us lose t
John Kennedy
Some of the advice is simplistic, some insightful. The book, written by therapists who have treated dozens of addicts, does a good job of describing the shame that addicts feel. It also describes the reaction of spouses well. For example:
"Feelings of betrayal, disappointment, sexual inadequacy and rejection can last for many months, even years, well past when the angry outbursts and crying spells have ended. Women often suffer in internal psychological ways that can be difficult for the porn use
Sep 25, 2013 Anna rated it really liked it
Shelves: 2013
As a Christian, I know pretty clearly what the Bible says about sexual immorality. All sin, including porn, is meant to snare us and suffocate the life out of us. But I incessantly hear cultural voices playing down the dangers of porn, trying to normalize it by saying every man does it. This book was written by two psychologists who are not speaking from a Christian worldview. They have found from working extensively with clients over the years that porn is extremely harmful both to the persons ...more
Jan 01, 2009 Alison marked it as to-read
Wendy Maltz and her husband have been therapists in Eugene, OR, for approximately 30 years. Wendy Maltz is an LCSW who wrote The Sexual Healing Journey, which I bought about 10 years ago out of personal and clinical interets. I have recommended it to patients frequently. Though I just started The Porn Trap, it claims to be a non-moralistic approach to dealing with relationship issues related to pornorgraphy. The couple state that they wrote the book after seeing increasing marital/relationship p ...more
Feb 24, 2015 Sarah rated it it was ok
I borrowed this from the library out of curiosity - personally I enjoy porn and it isn't causing me any problems. I was interested in reading a potentially different viewpoint though.
Why 2 stars? This was an 'ok' read, but is very American which made it harder to read - the analogies don't always translate well and there are frequent references to faith and consulting spiritual leaders or pastors. All in, the emphasis on faith made me uncomfortable. Also, while I wasn't expecting a positive vie
Apr 18, 2012 Erin rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: self-help, research
As part of my job as an editor, I read a heart-breaking personal statement from a woman that was struggling with a pornography addiction. For a variety of reasons, I have become more and more aware of how pervasive porn addictions are among women and among several of my friends. I was looking for a book that would give me a better understanding of this addiction and this book came highly recommended.

I am also really interested in addictive behavior and techniques that people use to overcome such
Jesse Field
Aug 05, 2012 Jesse Field rated it did not like it  ·  review of another edition
Doesn't mention anything about gay guys, and dwells mainly on how when men masturbate to porn, it makes their female sexual partners feel bad. Seems fixated on old-fashioned porn videos, and hardly mentions amateur porn produced with computers and cell phones. Says nothing about the effects of making your own masturbation videos. Overall, the book takes a really negative attitude towards porn, which seems laughably Puritan to me. There must be other psychologists who can conceive of a mindful us ...more
Spencer Richard
Mar 28, 2015 Spencer Richard rated it it was amazing
Very insightful. I've never read anything so adept at highlighting issues with pornography, supported by both research and an immense amount of anecdotal wisdom. No preaching in this book; just facts, well-founded warnings, and helpful strategies to cope with an addiction.

While I didn't find absolutely everything helpful in the book, there were a great many things that resonated. It's something I wish was more easily discussed in our culture today. It participates in the destruction of too many
Feb 18, 2013 richwire rated it really liked it
An in-depth treatment of the topic. I found the first half of the book especially interesting - lots of real life examples of how pornography ruined the lives of many. A large part of the 2nd half of the book is geared towards couples in recovery. Could be very useful, but not really relevant unless you're in a relationship. Also included is an exhaustive glossary of resources - books, videos, organizations, etc. This treasure trove of information will be worth the price of the book to some.
Scott Harris
Writing about pornography will strike many as antiquated ideology or even relgious conservativism, but as millions of couples know, it can also be incredibly straining on real relationships. This book is written from a clinical perspective and offers an assessment on the attraction to porn, the impact of individuals and relationships and offers a strategy for addressing the problem at the personal level. It does not provide a sociological assessment of the causes and problems associated with por ...more
Jan 05, 2016 Thea rated it did not like it
Absolute nonsense. I expect better from Maltz but unfortunately she's jumped on the moral panic bandwagon too. Pornographic material has existed throughout all of human history, and the idea of widespread endemic porn addiction is patently ridiculous. That's bad enough, but claiming that porn use leads to child abuse is not just ridiculous but offensive, but hey, any excuse to let men off the hook for their behaviour, right? Gross.
Nov 03, 2012 Ellen rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I found the partners in pain chapter helped me to understand why I felt the way I did. Some useful tools to help me get back to where I was prior to discovering that my boyfriend (now husband) was viewing porn. If only he read more & I could get him to read it. It offers very useful infirmation on the effects it has on the user and their life as well as how & why their partners feel how they do once their use of porn has been discovered.
Oct 10, 2013 Judy rated it it was amazing
Another way to fall into the rabbit hole of addiction... Very informative. It is a damaging addiction that has the nasty ideology of hate towards women and children. The book was aimed for mainstream middle class straight crowd and mentions in passing gay men. No discussion on lesbian produced and consumed porn. The only mention is lesbians as a 'product'. The authors don't adress what happens when the players are women on women. Still, a good book to understand the pyschology.
Jan 02, 2015 Carrie rated it really liked it
Fantastic, real world stats & info. Highly recommend if you or someone you know has a porn problem that's out of control. It teaches what is really going on in their head, so you can empathize & help in the right ways. I'd also recommend as a mother, to help your kids who will more than likely be ensnared by age 12/13.
Mar 15, 2013 Jessica rated it really liked it
I started reading this for research, but it has really made me stop and think about the effect of pornography on society. I'd always thought it to be relatively benign. But with the advent and availability of Internet porn, I've started to rethink what this may mean for the sexuality of generations going forward.
Nov 30, 2012 Robin rated it it was ok
Shelves: therapy, 2012
A CBT focused book on dealing with addiction to porn - it is one of the rare books out there that doesn't come from a strictly religious view point. Still found it to have quaint ideas on women and porn (The horror. The horror) and mainly comes at it from a male religious heterosexual problem.
Cynde Moya
Jul 31, 2011 Cynde Moya rated it did not like it
couldn't get thru it, just the jacket saying they wanted us to have porn-free sex lives, and had to set it aside.
محمد حسين ضاحي
وددت لو أبدأ القراءة فى الكتاب، لكن يعيقنى أنه إلكترونى، وربما كان قرار قراءته نتيجة حالة وجدانية خاصة، لكن حتما سأقرأه، لذا سأرفعه الآن من قائمة ما أقرأه، إلى ما أود قراءته، مؤقتـًا.
Jan 27, 2010 Eric rated it it was ok
There are some sick mo-fos out there. This book was focused on those in relationships. Not much help for the lonely.
Ed rated it really liked it
May 09, 2015
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Wendy Maltz LCSW, DST is an internationally recognized author, speaker, and sex therapist. Her books include The Porn Trap, The Sexual Healing Journey, Private Thoughts, Passionate Hearts, Intimate Kisses, and Incest & Sexuality. Wendy’s highly acclaimed videos are Relearning Touch and Partners in Healing. In 2014 she received the prestigious Carnes Award from the Society for the Advancement o ...more
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“When it comes to your health, a time-and energy-consuming porn habit can really interfere with important self-care activities such as exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep, and even bathing and grooming. Sleep” 1 likes
“Top Ten Sexual Problems from Using Porn 1. Avoiding or lacking interest in sex with a real partner 2. Experiencing difficulty becoming sexually aroused with a real partner 3. Experiencing difficulty getting or maintaining erections with a real partner 4. Having trouble reaching orgasm with a real partner 5. Experiencing intrusive thoughts and images of porn during sex 6. Being demanding or rough with a sexual partner 7. Feeling emotionally distant and not present during sex 8. Feeling dissatisfied following an encounter with a real partner 9. Having difficulty establishing or maintaining an intimate relationship 10. Engaging in out-of-control or risky sexual behaviors” 0 likes
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