The Average American Male

Nov 14, 2011 Jason rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: for-kindle, reviewed, flames-on-the-side-of-my-face

This is the worst book I’ve ever read. I mean abysmally bad. In fact, it may be the only book I’ve ever actually had to stop reading because it was so horrible. I skipped to the end and that, too, was really bad. Basically, this book is a piece of crap.

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May 01, 2008 Olivia rated it 2 of 5 stars

I literally vomited on the book! No joke!!

It's actually a great story. My lesbo neighbor lent my lesbro friend and I this book and I took several months to try to read it. One day I got alcohol poisoning and spewed off the side of my bed and onto the cum- white cover of this novel! The next morning I found dried up puke encrusted onto The American American Male and had a great, good laugh! How perfect was it that I spewed on this book; I can't really make this stuff up and I don't really need to...more I literally vomited on the book! No joke!!

It's actually a great story. My lesbo neighbor lent my lesbro friend and I this book and I took several months to try to read it. One day I got alcohol poisoning and spewed off the side of my bed and onto the cum- white cover of this novel! The next morning I found dried up puke encrusted onto The American American Male and had a great, good laugh! How perfect was it that I spewed on this book; I can't really make this stuff up and I don't really need to review it any further!? I did sanitize the book and eventually returned it to my neighbor, unfinished.

This book blows but not in an enjoyable way like a blow-job. It's all the rage at Urban Outfitters and I tried to finish it on a dare and for a potential JP book club. I gave it two stars because it's definitely titalating at first, like a car crash of naked dead people, however the sexual fantasies tend to be on the side of evil and boring. It's basically about a gross misogynist guy that grimly makes fun of every woman, hates and cheats on his girlfriend, hates the band No Doubt, plays video games all the time, and jacks off an exaggerated amount of times. The guy secretly hates his girlfriend because he doesn't like her fat ass.

I can appreciate that we all have dark sides, especially; self-serving, spoiled, ignorant, mass-media-soaked, hate-filled dudes, and we all sometimes think mean thoughts, even about our own partners. I am supposed to learn something or be warned by this shock jock author, but the humor is sparse. And I am filled with enough hate myself and I don't need to read some fake book about hate.

Yes, yes men are pigs; I get it. And I forget if the guy's new piece of ass runs away, or if he runs, because he is afraid of commitment. But this book is a train wreck as the character is not even very believable. What kind of person, that is not a complete psycho, instead of the supposed average American male, would scream at his girlfriend's mom about how he explicitly cheats on and hates her daughter and thinks her daughter should get a bloody abortion etc.? Psychology 101 tells us that this guy was probably beaten and neglected by his own mother to hate women this intensely but there is no mention of motives in this fiction. And what kind of girl tries to get back involved with this sociopath? Again, no motives, just extreme drama.

Finally, why is this an average American guy thing and

why doesn't this book just be about mental illness instead?

Oi.
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Jun 24, 2008 Ryan rated it 3 of 5 stars

I read this book in 2 sittings at a nearby Barnes and Noble. The writing is that light and disposable. It is also completely obscene, misogynist, heavy-handed and at times, spot on. Depending on your sensitivities, you might really enjoy this look into the most base and obvious tendencies of the "Average American Male." You might also be revolted. Either way, don't spend any money on it - you can knock this thing out in hour and a half at a book store.

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Apr 17, 2012 Joanna rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2000s, humor, raunch, amurika

Well after reading The Marriage Plot and having a good laugh at rich boring idiots, I was like, well, is there anything that'll give me a good laugh at douchebag bro idiots? You know, so I can properly feel superior to both. And I found this for like, 50 cents. This book is completely ridiculous. So much so that I can't even get mad at it. It's like trying to get mad at a chicken. Like, what are you going to do? They're stupid, just let it go.

***

Now I've read the whole thing, and it's just like...more

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May 14, 2010 Mitchel Broussard rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: subculture, humorous, summer-2010

Vile, unsympathetic to every female, and completely, unashamedly, and unabashedly, honest.

It's a memoir, in a sense. This guy has never existed, and on the other hand, he is EVERY guy that has ever existed. He's the guy that hates it when people call when he's right in the middle of a game of Halo. He's the guy that downloads so much porn that he has separate folders for different fetishes on his desktop. He's the guy that's completely confused as to why Marie Osmond is famous. We never get his...more Vile, unsympathetic to every female, and completely, unashamedly, and unabashedly, honest.

It's a memoir, in a sense. This guy has never existed, and on the other hand, he is EVERY guy that has ever existed. He's the guy that hates it when people call when he's right in the middle of a game of Halo. He's the guy that downloads so much porn that he has separate folders for different fetishes on his desktop. He's the guy that's completely confused as to why Marie Osmond is famous. We never get his name, but we don't need one.

He is completely and immediately likable (first chapter heading: "Christmas With Parents". First chapter, in its entirety: "Same old bullshit.") He's a 30 something slacker at a dead end "nothing special" job, whose girlfriend is obsessed with everything he isn't. He's bored with everything (except his xbox) and doesn't understand why she doesn't dump him.

The only reason i didn't give this one a full 5, was simply because it didn't have the complexity of The Lie , Chad Kultgen's other, and sadly, only, novel. Where that book had 3 completely separate views of every situation and drama that unfolded in it, this has only one. I'm not saying it gets boring or anything, on the contrary, i loved it and it was a insanely easy read. It was just a bit too simple compared to The Lie . Oh, and the narrator of this book is basically Kyle from The Lie , which, i know this one was released years before, but they were basically the same person. It's not so much as a detriment to this book, more like an observation. Despite his misanthropic and misogynistic personality, Kyle was pretty awesome.

The book isn't particularly depressing, but the ending is. The narrator basically just gives a very bleak look on life and love and makes a very, very, VERY bad decision. But, hey, i knew this wouldn't end well. I'd only read one of his books before and now i know. Chad Kultgen, he doesn't like happy endings. I'm okay with that.

So, if you can't read about sex (and i mean a lot of sex, and every kind of sex you think you know, and all the kinds you don't know) don't read this book. For me, it was really refreshing. Kultgen is just so completely honest. He cuts the bullshit and, well, lets it all hang out. It may not be up to par with The Lie , but its still full with spouts of hilarity, dirty dialogue, and in its own unique way, ends up being touching.

I honestly don't know how his books are getting published, but I'm glad some big company is taking a chance on this guy. I just hope more readers do.

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Apr 29, 2008 Paul rated it 1 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2008

Holy ass.

This book doesn't even deserve the time I'm about to take to talk about how awful it is. Does this guy really think we've already forgotten about American Psycho after just sixteen years? Replace the violence with more sex, then rewrite the entire thing with no sense of character, voice, description, vocabulary, consistency, intellect, emotion, subtlety, etc., and you get this pathetic excuse for a novel. Christ, the titles are even similar. I actually wouldn't be surprised if Chad Kult...more Holy ass.

This book doesn't even deserve the time I'm about to take to talk about how awful it is. Does this guy really think we've already forgotten about American Psycho after just sixteen years? Replace the violence with more sex, then rewrite the entire thing with no sense of character, voice, description, vocabulary, consistency, intellect, emotion, subtlety, etc., and you get this pathetic excuse for a novel. Christ, the titles are even similar. I actually wouldn't be surprised if Chad Kultgen is really Bret Easton Ellis, considering the fact that Ellis' last two books were horrible, and Kultgen's photo is mysteriously absent on the web. I smell some serious bullshit here. Though, maybe it's this sentence I smell:

"When Casey has her period she refuses to suck my dick and she's very uncomfortable with fucking." I found this by turning to a page at random and typing the first thing I saw. Honestly. Any page, I guarantee, will yield similar results. Wait though, here's something awesome: The chapters (whose titles come basically straight out of American Psycho) are numbered, but sometimes Kultgen doesn't give the chapter an actual number, he just calls it "some chapter." Hilarious! So nihilistic! So existential! So twentysomething blasé! It's so funny, in fact, that the author drops this pitiful little punchline after just two chapters, then again three chapters later, then again three-ish chapters after that, and so on until the book finally comes to its pathetic conclusion. In which, by the way, the protagonist fails to change in any way or come to any sort of revelation about what an asshole he is, but instead remains absolutely static. Every character in here is horribly clichéd and boring and poorly formed and, yes, average. All this unnamed guy does is jerk off to everything, usually like three times a day, and think about/have sex. He plays video games for four hours at a time and doesn't appear to have any responsibility or gainful employment until he mentions 95% of the way through that he "decides to take a long lunch break at work." WTF? In the second to last chapter the tense switches to the past for two sentences, then goes back to present. WTF? The book is horrible horrible horrible. WTF? Seriously, WTF.

Apparently the book wasn't selling well until the pub spent $2500 on these little YouTube shorts, which are appropriately shitty, and now the thing's selling like crazy. http://www.averageamericanmale.com.

NB there's tons of sex in this book, though American Psycho is far more "offensive" in terms of subject matter, and what I'm objecting to here is the way the book's written, the half-assed characters and lazy throw-away phrases, not the subject matter. If I wanted to hear about a dude "shooting probably the biggest load of [his] entire life up [some girl's] ass" every six pages I'd, well, be an idiot.

If I find out that you've read this book and liked it I'm going to come over and punch you.

Then we'll discuss it like human beings, though, because seriously I'd be curious to hear what you had to say.(less)

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Mar 18, 2008 Patrick rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2008

This is a really funny and purposely offensive stream-of-consciousness look into a few months in the life of a "typical" young man, as seen through his eyes. I read this at the bookstore; oddly enough it was recommended by a female via her Barnes and Noble "employee picks" card on the bookshelf, with the review "Not, I repeat, NOT for children." The mind of the narrator is obnoxious, sex-obsessed, and profane, but eventually you get used to it, it levels off, and then certain lines just seem to...more

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Oct 17, 2007 Merlin P. Mann rated it 2 of 5 stars

Much in the tradition of American Psycho, this book sees the world from one man's idiosyncratic, shallow and selfabsorbed perspective, but where Ellis offers thought-provoking insight in the juxtaposition between the aestethic and the destructive, Kultgen offers just dirty words and juvenile sex fantasies - though it must be said, that he is both frank and very spot-on in his portrait of the suppressed male sexuality, it doesn't provoke much more than a lazy erection. His language is repetetive...more

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Dec 17, 2008 Tattered Cover Book Store added it

Shelves: chris-s-recommends, jackie-recommends, staff-recommends, joe-recommends

Chris S says: "Kultgen's debut novel gives us a fairly accurate, very funny, rather crude and oddly touching portrait of the Average American Male."

Jackie says: "This book was horrifying to me, but I just couldn't put it down. When I finished I gave it to a guy friend of mine. When he was done reading, I asked him if this is really true--do guys REALLY think like this. He said 'pretty much'. I really do think women should read this book--not so that they will hate men, but at least so they have...more

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Oct 14, 2012 Zoe rated it 4 of 5 stars

I like this book and would like to read it aloud to women who spray tan obsessively, watch the view/sunrise, follow sex tips in cosmopolitan and find the show friends funny.

The protagonist is likely to be the extremest essence of almost every male I know and love, though with more/less insight into his actions. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. If anything, honesty can be offensive and dangerous in small concise doses, which is what Kultgen delivers.

I really like this book and it could only h...more

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Mar 29, 2013 Antuan rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'll be honest: I picked this book up in an airport, because the front cover was eye-catching and because Maddox has a positive blurb/quote on the back cover.

I'm sure that it's not politically correct to like a book this, well, offensive, but I did. It's probably less of a good idea to admit to liking such a "bro book" in a public forum. I also almost regretted putting this book on my Goodreads shelf, knowing that my female friends would judge me for liking something so chauvinistic, but here I...more

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Feb 11, 2013 Kevin rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: wrote-a-review

The book is good and you won't like it.

It's obscene, dismally sad/angry, and funny in an asinine way, but pay attention. It's not smut for smut's sake. There's truth in this novel. You the reader are subjected to the inner monologue of this misogynistic nympho guy who kindofsortof hates his life, and if you try to understand him and look at him on his level, you'll see why he does what he does and think what he thinks. And what he does and thinks is repulsive. (That's why there are so many bad r...more The book is good and you won't like it.

It's obscene, dismally sad/angry, and funny in an asinine way, but pay attention. It's not smut for smut's sake. There's truth in this novel. You the reader are subjected to the inner monologue of this misogynistic nympho guy who kindofsortof hates his life, and if you try to understand him and look at him on his level, you'll see why he does what he does and think what he thinks. And what he does and thinks is repulsive. (That's why there are so many bad reviews here.)

About the plot of the novel, well, wait. First, advice time: read this book as a character exploration. The plot's too loose and skippy to be a slice of life / journal thing, but it's not round enough to fit the regular modernist novel that templates from The Catcher in the Rye or The Metamorphosis. But it does something those books do, it illuminates the facets of the character, even though the plot can feel dull and cyclical. That's intentional, trust me, do trust me.

I should talk about him, the unnamed main character. I'll get to him.

The ensemble of the book seems haphazard, but all relate to the main character's belief that "There is nothing better. There is no fucking escape." Looking at the classes of people in the book: straight guys, gay guys, hobos, fathers, girls spanning a range of attractiveness, prostitutes, and mothers, every character is a mix-match of the same traits relating to the main character's ultimate goal to have sex. You see the world through the lens of his simple guyness.

Okay. It's time. The focus of the novel. The Average American Male. Unnamed, never really in conflict over his desires (In my opinion) because he has only one. He's unsatisfying. All of this illumination the book goes through, all these situations and characters that relate back to his libido, is hammered home with his honest and frequent indifference. But -paradoxical feelings time- that's the point. The book leaves no question about his character, and you really get to know him. It leaves a bad taste in your mouth, and that's what Chad Kultgen wants. He wrote a good book that I can't like. It a good book by being a bad book.

Post-conclusion notes:
I gave it three stars, then one, then five, then three again. I hope you understand why.
Reading this book as a man, I started to hate women halfway through. Don't do that.
The cover of the book is awful in the same way the book is "awful."
I think I'm going to read this again, I'll tack on another paragraph after that, maybe I'll change my mind about some things.(less)

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Feb 01, 2013 Jared rated it 2 of 5 stars

This book definitely got better the further into I got. The beginning began a little slowly, and I grew weary of reading how many times per day this bloke pleasured himself due to his increased sex-drive in contrast with that of his annoying girlfriend. But as the narration continued, it began to occur to me that this book possibly portrays one of two things: 1) that the average American male is an asshole who cares solely for sex inasmuch as he neglects all other aspects of a relationship inclu...more

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Jan 24, 2013 Brian Sweany rated it 3 of 5 stars

“We drive down the road in complete silence for a few miles listening to 50 Cent. As soon as he tells us that he's into having sex, he ain't into making love, Casey turns the volume down and begins telling me the following information: " I love you so much. We're going to have the best life together. I can't wait." Every word she says makes me feel a little more like faking a stroke and pretending to lose all memory of who I was, but it's not until she looks me in the eye and says in all serious...more “We drive down the road in complete silence for a few miles listening to 50 Cent. As soon as he tells us that he's into having sex, he ain't into making love, Casey turns the volume down and begins telling me the following information: " I love you so much. We're going to have the best life together. I can't wait." Every word she says makes me feel a little more like faking a stroke and pretending to lose all memory of who I was, but it's not until she looks me in the eye and says in all seriousness, "You're my soul mate," that I realize I am not going to marry her.”

― Chad Kultgen, "The Average American Male"

The term "fratire" was introduced by The New York Times reporter Warren St. John in a 2006 article titled "Dude, Here's My Book." The genre is characterized by masculine themes and could be considered the male equivalent of chick lit. Many of its adherents--Tucker Max and Maddox, most notably--despise the label, but it's not like "lad lit" or "boy books" are any better descriptors. Other authors have danced around the periphery of this genre: Neil Strauss and his wonderfully addicting pick-up manual THE GAME, Alan Wieder's generally uneven YEAR OF THE COCK, Joe Meno's unforgivably overlooked HAIRSTYLES OF THE DAMNED, and the book that gave the genre some overdue legitimacy, Jonathan Tropper's THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU.

I guess the best thing I can say about Chad Kultgen's THE AVERAGE AMERICAN MALE is that it definitely belongs in that conversation. While I'm not going to give the book 4-5 stars and tell you that Kultgen manages to balance the nihilism and unapologetic masculinity with endearing storytelling like Meno or Tropper, I do love the author's voice and regard him as a sly, compelling wordsmith. To the extent I could suspend reality and not acknowledge the protagonist as the most avowed misogynist to appear in print since Fitzgerald's Tom Buchanan, the book made me laugh out loud again and again. But it's those moments where I felt like I needed to take a shower, go to confession, or apologize to my wife for my gender that cost Kultgen a couple stars.(less)

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Dec 15, 2012 Jakob Gaardsted rated it 4 of 5 stars

Though it has its own narrow focus, it offers a refreshingly brutal-but-honest view of male sexuality and how it plays out in day-to-day life. I'm especially impressed with the number of 'WHAT AN AWFUL BOOK!' reviews, the Caseys of this world have submitted, which in a way confirms to me that it is spot on.. Though the level of his behaviour is on the level of satire, I actually find him partially sympathetic. What I like about him, is his levelheadedness, and clear unobstructed view of people a...more

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Aug 18, 2012 Lauren Bailey rated it 1 of 5 stars

There are a few sections - okay, paragraphs - in the middle where I started to make out a "point" to this book, and the "point" that I thought I was starting to see was somewhat interesting. I was intrigued by how sympathetic I started to feel toward this complete asshole of a narrator. (SPOILER: I kind of was not even offended when he tried to trip his ex-girlfriend in the hopes that it would kill their unborn child.) And I started to think that maybe all the gimmicky things the author does (su...more There are a few sections - okay, paragraphs - in the middle where I started to make out a "point" to this book, and the "point" that I thought I was starting to see was somewhat interesting. I was intrigued by how sympathetic I started to feel toward this complete asshole of a narrator. (SPOILER: I kind of was not even offended when he tried to trip his ex-girlfriend in the hopes that it would kill their unborn child.) And I started to think that maybe all the gimmicky things the author does (such as use the word "bitch" interchangeably with the word "woman") weren't there only for shock value, as I'd originally thought, but also to emphasize how differently men think from women and how even though everyone CLAIMS to know this, no one actually does. I didn't know what would happen to this narrator in the end, but I was genuinely interested and a little excited to see what the author's point was.

THE AUTHOR HAD NO POINT.

This is a book about why women suck and why no man should ever marry one.

I know this is fiction. I checked at least 347 times while reading this book, because I became more and more disturbed by the possibility that these thoughts were had by an actual human being who lives in the same world I do and has shit inside him that will someday render him able to CREATE OTHER HUMANS. It is fiction. Any resemblance to any persons real or imagined is purely coincidental. So it's entirely possible that Chad Kultgen is a lovely person who loves women, or, at the very least, respects them in at least one way that is completely unrelated to their genitalia. He is probably a super good guy who never orders breast enhancement drugs online and then sneaks them into his girlfriend's food. I get that it's not fair to direct any feelings I'm having toward the narrator in "The Average American Male" toward its author. But I can't help it. I feel like in order to construct a book this way - to set it up like maybe this guy will ultimately realize that the reason all his girlfriends suck is because he sucks even more and therefore can't attract anyone worthwhile, only to COMPLETELY SHIT ALL OVER ANY EMOTIONAL PROGRESS THIS COMPLETE WASTE OF LIFE MAY HAVE MADE - implies that he agrees, at least in part, with this novel's message. Which is bullshit, by the way. Not because it's disrespectful toward women (I mean, it is, but I could probably get past that), but because this book concludes by declaring that all women are annoying in THE EXACT SAME WAY.

There are tons of ways women can be annoying. Really, I could list a thousand ways, and I've never even had to date one. If you're aiming to offend, do it right. Offer up an airtight example for which there are no easy rebuttals. The truly tragic thing about "The Average American Male" is that not even "The Atypical Furious Feminist" would bother getting worked up about it, because it's not worth it.
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Jun 04, 2012 Jay rated it 5 of 5 stars

*spoilers*
The Average American Male is a funny book through a through, written from the point of view of a man we never learn the name of. Which is kinda the point. He's supposed to be average, anyone, even if he isn't. He's supposed to be something men can recognize to some point; a gamer, a frat guy, someone with an anal fetish, someone who's stuck in a relationship with someone he just doesn't love anymore. Not every man is like this, but it's something that keeps occurring.

Just like not eve...more *spoilers*
The Average American Male is a funny book through a through, written from the point of view of a man we never learn the name of. Which is kinda the point. He's supposed to be average, anyone, even if he isn't. He's supposed to be something men can recognize to some point; a gamer, a frat guy, someone with an anal fetish, someone who's stuck in a relationship with someone he just doesn't love anymore. Not every man is like this, but it's something that keeps occurring.

Just like not every woman is a manipulative bitch who tries to trap their boyfriend by getting knocked up. But it happens. In this case, it happens. Looking through the reviews, I see people might not get the point of this book. Or maybe I'm the one who's interpreting it wrong. What I see is someone who doesn't feel happy in a relationship because the sex isn't good enough and because they want different things. It's perfectly normal to not want to get married or have kids.

If you trap a rat and put heat on it, it's going to start digging and crawling to get away. The male character (whom I'm going to call "John" from now on) does somewhat the same. He starts looking around, just like most people do in unhappy relationships. He thinks he finds happiness in a new girl, but like a lot of women, she starts out great (loves sex, doesn’t want marriage/kids, and experiments with anal) and turns for the worse. Basically, she turns into his ex.

The Average American Male, for me, shows the hypocrisy and manipulative ways which so often are rooted in women. I'm not saying "John" is without fault. Far from it. He cheats, he tricks, he lies, but we're used to reading that the man is in the wrong. Women love blaming their boyfriends for everything (again, not everyone, but many) when most of the time, they're just as much at fault in their own heartache.

Now, I read this when I was 17 (and I'm a girl) and I loved it. It made me laugh so hard people looked at me weird - and I finished it in a day. It just drew me in. I loved reading it from "the other side" of things, but I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who can't stomach reading about sex, the annoyance of being cut off from playing Halo, and having your porn systemized so neatly that you can relocate your favorite clips under a minute. I wouldn't call this a literary masterpiece, but it's good. It's well-written and controversial. You get your hopes up and have them torn down - because Kultgen just doesn't do happy ending. "John" is someone you hate and love at the same time. Like when you start liking the bad guy in a TV-show or a movie. You have to like him. When he meets the new girl, you cheer for them to make it. When he breaks up with his ex, you applaud his speech. When he has to drive her and her mother home, you feel the same level of awkwardness as he does.

This is nothing short of awesome. Truly. A great laugh on a rainy day. (less)

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May 13, 2012 Emily rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, fiction, non-fiction

About a year ago, I read a book by Hilary Winston called My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me. I thought the book was funny and honest and it left me completely curious as to what that book was. After some pretty simple Google searching, I found this book. This is the book her boyfriend wrote about her. And after reading this... I think they are both completely batshit crazy. Now, this book is "fiction". Some parts are based on their real life relationship and some are not and there's really no te...more

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Apr 10, 2012 Jason Edwards rated it 2 of 5 stars

I'm curious about your opinion concerning brilliant people. Can brilliant people see art in places that the rest of us reject? Let's say some brilliant professor decided to "teach" Twilight, for example. (I have not read that book myself, but I am basing this discussion on the popular opinion that it is not a good book. If you disagree-- if you're brilliant, or if you think we're all being snobs, then substitute a different book into this discussion). Do you think that he could read in to it, fi...more I'm curious about your opinion concerning brilliant people. Can brilliant people see art in places that the rest of us reject? Let's say some brilliant professor decided to "teach" Twilight, for example. (I have not read that book myself, but I am basing this discussion on the popular opinion that it is not a good book. If you disagree-- if you're brilliant, or if you think we're all being snobs, then substitute a different book into this discussion). Do you think that he could read in to it, find some theme, some thread, something that shows, through careful explication, some real depth and artistry?

I don't know. I do believe that most self-named "scholars" do exactly the above, and if they were told that Twilight was actually written by Saul Bellow, they'd find a way to show you how brilliant they were by showing you how brilliant Twilight is. So it's not a question of whether that happens, its just a question of whether you think beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Or, is beauty truth and thus truth beauty.

I ask because I read The Average American Male and I found nothing much redeeming about it. Halfway through the book I was so ready to enjoy the main character's punishment by the hoisting via a petard he'd made himself. A bed he'd built and now must sleep in. But he didn't, and it's not that I was dissatisfied, it was just that I didn't see the point of it all. To call the main character a misogynist is like calling Orson Wells fat. It might be true, but it hardly describes him.

And yet, what else is he, this average American male, except someone who thinks about, has, or prepares to have sex during almost every waking moment. When he's not getting some or trying to get some he's either taking matters into his own hands, or thinking about doing so. If this is average, I am ashamed to say I never achieved that average of several ejaculations per day for weeks on end.

The book is set in L.A. and has almost but not quite the same tone as a Bret Easton Ellis in the 90s. The book is mostly about sex and has almost but not quite the same feel as a Nicholson Baker in the 90s. And this is where I'm curious about the whole "brilliant people see art everywhere" thing. I mean, I'm not saying I'm brilliant, I'm just wondering if there's someone out there who is who can tell me "what you've gleaned re: Ellis and Baker is, actually, woefully off the mark, son. Maple-syrup soaked pancakes may have the same name as maple-cured bacon, but they don't taste anything alike."

I'm not sure who I could recommend this book too. Maybe people who think they like to read but secretly don't, who want to hold up a weathered tome and try to defend it and fail but feel like they should at least get credit for trying. You know, people who don't like being stereotyped but actually probably deserve to be. In other words: average American males.
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Feb 08, 2012 Toto66 rated it 1 of 5 stars

I have to admit..I bought this book because I wanted to read My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me, but felt I should read the 'boyfriend's' book before I started it. Maybe if I hadn't known this was based on a real relationship (write what you know)I wouldnt' have been so appauled...but I did and I am. I absolutely hated this book. I have never been unable to finish a book...until now. Do men really jerk off every couple of hours all day long until they meet up with their girlfriends later to have...more

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Jan 21, 2012 Sean Ferguson rated it 2 of 5 stars

The Average American Male follows a nameless character around Los Angeles, as he thinks with one part of his body from the first page of Chapter Two until the final page of the book. He spends most of the book chasing that woman on the airplane, Alyna, while basically running from his long-term girlfriend, Casey. Well then, what happens in Chapter One? Each chapter is titled and, if the titles aren't setting the scene or the mood, they're a clever quip about what you're going to be reading. "Ch...more

The Average American Male follows a nameless character around Los Angeles, as he thinks with one part of his body from the first page of Chapter Two until the final page of the book. He spends most of the book chasing that woman on the airplane, Alyna, while basically running from his long-term girlfriend, Casey. Well then, what happens in Chapter One? Each chapter is titled and, if the titles aren't setting the scene or the mood, they're a clever quip about what you're going to be reading. "Christmas with Mom and Dad" sums up where the narrator is preparing to fly home from, and the first chapter sets up the rest of this story better than any book I've ever read. Chapter One is one sentence long.

"Same old bullshit."

Whether the visit with mom and dad was a nonsensical waste of time spent watching the clock until it was time to run for the airport gates is unclear, because as you progress from chapter to chapter, the first page of this story continues to ring true. If you aren't reading about the things that the main character has done to women, you're reading what he would be doing to various women that he sees as he walks the streets of L.A. This leaves the main character standing alone in the rain, looking into the sky, trying to figure out how he can stick his member in a cloud's ass, rather than screaming at god, questioning why he's such a flat character. Seriously, that's about it. He thinks with his penis, and that's the story.

To The Average American Male's benefit, the language is short, amusing, and timely, allowing for the pages to progress along at a rather painless pace. And the narrator is a witty, sarcastic, ass, allowing for his inner-thoughts to entertain you, as he thinks up graphic ways to punish his girlfriend while she's being obnoxious. However the possibility that you're reading someone's blog just out of college, still attempting to relive those nights in the fraternity is, more and to the point, a higher probability than someone sitting at home saying, "I want to write a book about this guy..." No one wants to write a book about this guy. He's a one-note superficial misogynist and his only redeeming quality is that he willingly gives to the poor and homeless.

Release Date: March 13, 2007
Order: HERE
Official Website: HERE (less)

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Aug 03, 2011 Kirk rated it 3 of 5 stars

I didn't love this book. I didn't hate it either, but I couldn't stop reading it.

That's not to say that it was so great that I couldn't put it down. I read it on an Ipod and the pages were barely a paragraph long, so it was easy to rip through. There weren't many insights to stop and reflect on, and there were no passages that made me stop to contemplate how I might adapt the stylistic renderings of the author. This book read like one of those late-night television shows that you watch because...more I didn't love this book. I didn't hate it either, but I couldn't stop reading it.

That's not to say that it was so great that I couldn't put it down. I read it on an Ipod and the pages were barely a paragraph long, so it was easy to rip through. There weren't many insights to stop and reflect on, and there were no passages that made me stop to contemplate how I might adapt the stylistic renderings of the author. This book read like one of those late-night television shows that you watch because nothing else is on, and then, much to your amazement, you actually start to like it.

Was the book validating? Yes. Not because I read it and thought "wow, somebody out there actually thinks like I do," but because I read it and thought, "shit. I guess I'm not so bad after all." Of course, I'm a three-dimensional character crafted by my surroundings. I have insecurities, fears and a conscience. I empathize with people, sometimes to the point that can be unhealthy for me. Kultgen's character has/does none of these things. As such, the protagonist doesn't develop much.

Did the book move me on an emotional level? Whenever Casey's mother came into the picture, yes. I hated her, so kudos to Kultgen for giving me that.

But despite all the things I take issue with in this book, I come back to the fact that I couldn't put it down. I didn't care about the protagonist much. I didn't find the writing that appealing. I was hoping for some insight, like maybe why the character thinks the way he does. Hell, I wouldn't have settled for a brief explanation as to why some microwavable popcorn is only 94% fat free while other brands are close to 99% fat free (I guess I'll have to tackle that one in my next book). I kept reading anyway.

Some people will tell you that there's no time in one's life to read a book you don't love. I disagree. Growing up in the middle of nowhere, I read a lot of books I didn't love. I watched a lot of television I didn't particularly care for because there was nothing else on. Sometimes you want something that's just a little more engaging than the white noise, or at least I do. And this book delivered.

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Jun 25, 2011 Shawn rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book either resonates with you or it doesn't. Look, the fact is that while all guys probably aren't (and shouldn't be) as misogynistic as this character, we all have those thoughts at one point or another. Call us sick, call us childish, call us disgusting, but it happens. The book has its faults. But as gross and outlandish as this book can be, the one thing it gets right are the feelings of trapped desperation that loads of men go through; the author captures them on the page. Hell, I was...more

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Oct 16, 2009 Bob rated it 3 of 5 stars

I can't really say if I liked this book because it was actually good, or if it was just shocking.

Warning, here be spoilers.

The Average American Male is an honest (almost to the point of being embarrassing) story about a twenty-something man and his quest for the next hook-up. There were times that I was appalled by what I was reading (when the main character said that the gross homeless woman was in the 98% of the female population that he would have sex with) and others when I actually felt sor...more

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Apr 04, 2009 Zach rated it 1 of 5 stars

The only reason I managed to finish this book it because I thought that there had to be some kind of turning point in the book. Something that makes you think, "Ah ha, that's why this book is this obscene for 250 or so pages." No. Nothing of this nature whatsoever. Just the "memoirs" of the typical American male. No lessons learned. No change of heart. Just a guy, being an asshole, which is all us guys are good at doing. Lessons from the book (ones that I have seen before in other books, albeit...more

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Aug 22, 2012 Qaris Tajudin rated it 4 of 5 stars

Ini memang buku dewasa. Bukan buku "inspirasi" yang ditulis dengan santun agar banyak orang tergugah dan ramai-ramai menjadi orang baik. Tapi, inilah buku yang jujur. Setidaknya, dengan membaca buku ini, ada hal-hal yang mungkin kita pikirkan tapi tak tega kita keluarkan, mampu ditulis dengan jelas oleh Kultgen.

Sebaiknya perempuan tidak membaca buku ini, karena mungkin akan muak dan muntah. Tapi, di akhir cerita kita tahu, penulis bukanlah seorang chauvinis yang ingin merendahkan perempuan.

Sebe...more

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Nov 13, 2011 Jenny rated it 1 of 5 stars

So these are the books that are making it onto the shelves at Urban Outfitters? Marketed to teenagers and young adults? This book is the precise reason I'm convinced our culture is going to crap. Chad Kultgen must be a master of "the hook" because the first sentence in the novel is by far the best and last. This book has about as much value as the Kardashians or an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras. Shock value used to be associated with "banned books" that fearlessly brought a hidden or oppressed...more So these are the books that are making it onto the shelves at Urban Outfitters? Marketed to teenagers and young adults? This book is the precise reason I'm convinced our culture is going to crap. Chad Kultgen must be a master of "the hook" because the first sentence in the novel is by far the best and last. This book has about as much value as the Kardashians or an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras. Shock value used to be associated with "banned books" that fearlessly brought a hidden or oppressed truth into the light. This is the "Average American Male?" Okay there, Tiger. Is our American culture really making this misogynistic little prick something that is "average?" But maybe that's a point Kultgen's tapping into since he's following up with a sequel called, "Average American Marriage." But his books are nothing more than their shock value, like Salvador Dali's, Un Chien Andalou; a 16 minute video of a scalpel cutting into a womans eye. Kultgen's books are longer than 16 minutes, without anything to sustain them beside their shock, and I think that's where he fails the most. It's just like the conditioning used in Brave New World to desensitize. How many repulsive and undesirable images can we bear before we start seeing something as average? The only reason this book gets a star at all is that I get the point that we all have deep dark thoughts that no one would dare talk about out loud, and he's not afraid to express the raw truth of it. I get the "shock" it's suppose to evoke, so I guess it succeeded in its purpose; but it is by no means a well written or well developed novel. Sex in all it's positions and multitudes can only be shocking for so long before it just gets boring. You need more. 98% of the book consists of the main character thinking about sex, having sex, or jerking off. "intellectual porn" if I should reach so far. Guess what, if you read this book and liked it, then go watch the Human Centipede; I'm sure you'll think that's just awesome as well.(less)

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Nov 11, 2011 Lily rated it 4 of 5 stars

It's really intelligent to keep us unsuspecting of the "philosophical view" till the very end. I followed the hollow lives of the characters with true sadness, and when the pointlessness is revealed it all makes sense.
In his unique rebellious way, Mr. Kultgen sharply illustrates the banality of young women today, and the succumbing and numbing of young men.
But it's not all maudlin and tears. Mr.K wakes us up with shock therapy. He is a hard judge, thus the hard language. He takes no prisoners. H...more

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May 21, 2010 QVT rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: 24-hours

It's LA Candy for men. Features most of the worst misogyny I've ever encountered and usually complaints like that are bullshit. People complain about Daisy's line in Gatsby w/r/t a fool being the best thing a girl can be. They actually get upset about that shit, like it set women back nearly as much as Laguna Beach, The Hills, or LA Candy did. I don't mention SLL because that set animate life back at least 20 years.

So if you got offended by Gatsby, be prepared to break into instant fury. (Also...more

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Nov 27, 2011 Zeke Chase rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: satire

A lot of people seem to wholly miss the point of this book, both those (few as they may be here on Goodreads) who like and those who are either indifferent or find it offensive/misogynistic/obnoxious/pornographic/juvenile...etc.

Now I'll admit that this book is highly up for interpretation, and perhaps I'm the one that's misinterpreting what the book is saying, but I don't think I am, at least not wholly. Here's why: this book speaks directly to me, and it doesn't to most people. Despite the titl...more A lot of people seem to wholly miss the point of this book, both those (few as they may be here on Goodreads) who like and those who are either indifferent or find it offensive/misogynistic/obnoxious/pornographic/juvenile...etc.

Now I'll admit that this book is highly up for interpretation, and perhaps I'm the one that's misinterpreting what the book is saying, but I don't think I am, at least not wholly. Here's why: this book speaks directly to me, and it doesn't to most people. Despite the title, the narrator is certainly not "average". He is quite specific and his story and its moral are targeted at someone quite specific. I may be ashamed of the fact that I identify with this character, but I do. The difference between he and I, however, is in the choices we make beyond the inherency.

Now let me start off by saying that no, I am not an obnoxious jughead frat brother. In fact, I'm an ardent feminist, so when labels like "misogynistic" are hurled at this, I tread carefully in buying nd reading it. However, I don't find this book misogynistic. Yes, it shows hatred towards INDIVIDUAL women, but it doesn't level that hatred towards WOMEN AS A WHOLE. I understand how that criticism can be applied, and to an extent one could say it's valid, but to the same extent it can be said that claims of "a strikeback against militant feminism" are also valid. I wouldn't give much weight to either.

*SPOILER ALERT*

If you want to understand this novel the way it directly speaks to me, and people like myself, re-read the epic breakup scene on Page 116:

"I want to fuck twice a day minimum or at least get my dick sucked. I want you to swallow. I want to butt-fuck you every once in a while and I want you to like it.... I want you to never want to get married or have children."

Sounds like your typical obnoxious, 2-dimensional frat boy, right? I've cut out parts of his rant and only posted the relevant portions: Anal, children, marriage. This is me. I am childfree. I had a vasectomy earlier this year to ensure that I'll never have children I don't want. I'm a self-described marriage abolitionist. The institution of marriage I find to be corrupt, counter-romantic, theocratic, too government intrusive into private affairs of the heart, commercialised, and yes, sexist. That doesn't mean I don't want love and companionship and commitment - as the narrator demonstrated he wants when he actively seeks these things with Alyna - it just means I don't want the authoritarian, misogynistic and bankrupcy of the institution.

And anal sex. I am not satisfied by the vagina. It's foreplay. It's mundanity is overwhelming. It is not satisfactory. A very good friend of mine once said "I'm not a cheater, but I understand why men cheat; it's because they're not getting what they need at home." Not to sound cliche, but, I have needs.

But the moral of this story isn't that all men are cheaters. The moral of this story is to put your foot down and demand your needs be satisfied lest you find someone else that will. Re-read the book; he never communicates anything with either Casey or Alyna. When Alyna says she doesn't want marriage or kids, he's so stunned he's silent and just kind of nods along like she'd commented on the weather. When she says how much she loved anal, he just plays it cool, not saying much. Indeed, when she asked him if he'd ever done anal before, he lied and said he hadn't. Communicate with your partner. Let her in, show her who you really are. She's not a mind reader, and she's not going to discern these things from your stoic silence. Quit trying to be average and acknowledge and express your uniqueness.

Indeed, this character could have been me, to a tee, had I not realised this years ago. I had the most the ethereal of hopes that I'd find a woman like Alyna, who doesn't want kids or marriage, and I had argument after argument, skeezy scheme after skeezy scheme, to manipulate a woman into anal. I just have too much respect for women to manipulate them like that. I've learned in life and I've learned from this book just to communicate, and be prepared to cut your losses if she's not the right woman. I can't conspired to align her sexuality with mine, nor can I her plans for her destiny. It's most honest, and most effective, to simply state your needs up front and move on if need be.(less)

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