Ex-Friends: Falling Out With Allen Ginsberg, Lionel and Diana Trilling, Lillian Hannah Arendt, and Norman Mailer

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Ex-Friends: Falling Out With Allen Ginsberg, Lionel and Diana Trilling, Lillian Hannah Arendt, and Norman Mailer

3.18 of 5 stars 3.18 · rating details · 38 ratings · 11 reviews

Allen Ginsberg, Lionel and Diana Trilling, Lillian Hellman, Hannah Arendt, and Norman Mailer -- all are ex-friends of Norman Podhoretz, the renowned editor and critic and leading member of the group of New York intellectuals who came to be known as "the Family." As only a family member could, Podhoretz tells the story of these friendships, once central to his life, and sho...more Allen Ginsberg, Lionel and Diana Trilling, Lillian Hellman, Hannah Arendt, and Norman Mailer -- all are ex-friends of Norman Podhoretz, the renowned editor and critic and leading member of the group of New York intellectuals who came to be known as "the Family." As only a family member could, Podhoretz tells the story of these friendships, once central to his life, and shows how the political and cultural struggles of the past fifty years made them impossible to sustain. With wit, piercing insight, and startling honesty, we are introduced as never before to a type of person for whom ideas were often matters of life and death, and whose passing from the scene has left so large a gap in American culture. Podhoretz was the trailblazer of the now-famous journey of a number of his fellow intellectuals from radicalism to conservatism -- a journey through which they came to exercise both cultural and political influence far beyond their number. With this fascinating account of his once happy and finally troubled relations with these cultural icons, Podhoretz helps us understand why that journey was undertaken and just how consequential it became. In the process we get a brilliantly illuminating picture of the writers and intellectuals who have done so much to shape our world.

Combining a personal memoir with literary, social, and political history, this unique gallery of stern and affectionate portraits is as entertaining as a novel and at the same time more instructive about postwar American culture than a formal scholarly study. Interwoven with these tales of some of the most quixotic and scintillating of contemporary American thinkers are themes that are introduced, developed, and redeveloped in a variety of contexts, with each appearance enriching the others, like a fugue in music. It is all here: the perversity of brilliance; the misuse of the mind; the benightedness of people usually considered especially enlightened; their human foibles and olympian detachment; the rigors to be endured and the prizes to be won and the prices to be paid for the reflective life.

Most people live their lives in a very different way, and at one point, in a defiantly provocative defense of the indifference shown to the things by which intellectuals are obsessed, Norman Podhoretz says that Socrates' assertion that the unexamined life was not worth living was one of the biggest lies ever propagated by a philosopher. And yet, one comes away from Ex-Friends feeling wistful for a day when ideas really mattered and when there were people around who cared more deeply about them than about anything else. Reading of a time when the finest minds of a generation regularly gathered in New York living rooms to debate one another with an articulateness, a passion, and a level of erudition almost extinct, we come to realize how enviable it can be to live a life as poignantly and purposefully examined as Norman Podhoretz's is in Ex-Friends.(less)

ebook, 256 pages

Published May 13th 2001 by Free Press (first published February 21st 1999)

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May 23, 2008 Bart rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition Recommends it for: Writers who think dinner party invitations mean they've arrived

This was a very interesting book by a man who began as a prodigy of literary criticism, forsook literature and most of his friends and went on to become a founder of the movement that is, today, most commonly called “Neo-Conservatism” – those ghoulish, and influential, “Neocons” you hear so much about. But Podhoretz is, by his own constant admission, so much smarter than those who would unfavorably judge him that by the end of his life, just like at the end of this book, things will have worked...more This was a very interesting book by a man who began as a prodigy of literary criticism, forsook literature and most of his friends and went on to become a founder of the movement that is, today, most commonly called “Neo-Conservatism” – those ghoulish, and influential, “Neocons” you hear so much about. But Podhoretz is, by his own constant admission, so much smarter than those who would unfavorably judge him that by the end of his life, just like at the end of this book, things will have worked out mostly for the better.

This book, part of a Podhoretz genre, is a combination between a memoir and a collection of essays on larger themes. It’s something like an intellectual’s version of participatory journalism. This book is about literary creatures and intellectuals and the intersection of the two. In reading Ex-Friends, one is tempted to put in Podhoretz’s mouth words like: “Poets should stick to poetry and novelists to novels; these folks have a great and entertaining gift and it is decidedly not in matters political or intellectual.”

But since Podhoretz himself is something of a reinvention, he can’t well make this assertion. Instead he goes about razing the intellectual pretensions of literary movements and figures like the Beat poets. Some of this is fair, and some of it isn’t entirely fair.

See, Podhoretz knows the importance that moment and celebrity had for folks like Allen Ginsburg and Norman Mailer. He knows that their ilk would gladly trade words that are intelligible in a hundred years for being called geniuses this afternoon. As lamentable as ideas like Haight-Ashbury were, at the time they had the moment. The most thinkers like Podhoretz could say was, “This is a very stupid idea, but only time will convince you of its fatuity.”

Years later, these folks don’t wish to be held accountable for all the bad ideas they had. Instead they want to erect monuments to the persecution they suffered when adults used the legislative and executive branches of government to stop them. They’re mostly forgotten by their own design; once they weren’t famous any longer, they didn’t much like living with the weight of their dumb ideas either.

Finally, though, what’s most striking about this book is how certain literary and intellectual sets obsess over dinner parties. Despite ultimately seeing most of these folks for what they were, Podhoretz still longs for invitations to the season’s hottest party – the one with the most authors celebrating one another.

At the end of Ex-Friends, Podhoretz suspects these sorts of parties no longer happen, else he’d hear rumors of them. Anyone who’s read a book review in the New York Times, though, has to suspect these silly gatherings do still happen – and being invited to them is still very important to some tragically empowered folks.

But to see where all this ends up, one ought to pick up a copy of Ex-Friends or read its subtitle. If you don’t recognize more than half the names, you’re well on your way to having proper perspective on dinner parties and the value of their habitués.
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Mar 03, 2013 Bob Wake rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

[Reviewed in 1999]

The quickest test of whether or not Norman Podhoretz’s memoir Ex-Friends might appeal to you is by your level of interest in the controversy that erupted over Elia Kazan’s honorary Oscar at last year’s Academy Awards. If you were intrigued by the rancorous political arguments that resurfaced after 50 years, then Podhoretz’s memoir will undoubtedly feel like a front-row ticket to the bickering of a half-century ago.

Podhoretz is today a staunch political conservative; he was one...more

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Nov 05, 2012 Bathsheva Gladstone rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

First off, the only reason I picked up this book, was the fact, some blurb somewhere about this book, made mention of Allen Ginsberg. I came for Ginsberg and got so much more.

Ex-Friends offers us a look at a by-gone era, of a time when friends got together, attended parties and discussed meaningful things such as politics and literature. Norman Podhoretz recalls a time when he as a young man, smart, intellectual and perhaps more than a tad opportunistic, was adopted into The Family, a group of...more First off, the only reason I picked up this book, was the fact, some blurb somewhere about this book, made mention of Allen Ginsberg. I came for Ginsberg and got so much more.

Ex-Friends offers us a look at a by-gone era, of a time when friends got together, attended parties and discussed meaningful things such as politics and literature. Norman Podhoretz recalls a time when he as a young man, smart, intellectual and perhaps more than a tad opportunistic, was adopted into The Family, a group of primarily New York Jewish intellectuals that included the likes of Hannah Arendt and Lionel Trilling. Interesting times.

The nice thing about rehashing old arguments with those of your dead friends or dead ex-friends as the case may be, is that the dead don’t rise to defend their views or their values. And so it is with Ginsberg, the Trillings—both Lionel and Diana, Hanna Arendt and Lillian Hellman. Podhoretz retells both points of view his and theirs, through his eyes. How generous!

The only exception to this safety net of dead silence is the story of his ex-friendship with Norman Mailer. I suspect this is due to the fact that nothing Mailer and Podhoretz argued over seems to be so insurmountable, that they couldn’t ostensibly see themselves back to each other.

In retelling of his relationship with Allen Ginsberg, which wasn’t particularly close, and subsequent falling out, Podhoretz lays bare some real truths—as he sees them. He is disgusted with Ginsberg’s leaping into ‘lowbrow’dem. He feels that Ginsberg clearly has some talent and he is at a loss for why he would surround himself with the likes of Kerouac and the other junky hoodlum non-intellects he opts for. One can see his point, even sympathize to an extent. When I was younger, I would berate myself when, on the many times I picked up On The Road, only to a couple of chapters in—put it down, due to finding it unintelligent and unreadable. And boring! It was only as I got older that I realized I was right, regardless of the popular consensus.

He clearly is offended by Ginsberg’s in your face homosexuality and his subsequent writing of it, Master, Master etal. He accuses Norman Mailer of trying to outlive his “nice Jewish boyness”, writing in that vein, and to his mind (Pohoretz’s) subsequently failing. And while I see his point, I am not personally particular to the graphicness of some of what Ginsberg shows in his poetry. But, to the multitudes of us who don’t and didn’t quite fit into that ‘nice’ Jewish or otherwise girlness or boyness, for one reason or another; aren’t we indebted to Ginsberg for making it okay?

Podhoretz doesn’t bore. He systematically lays out his arguments both literary and political. He delves deep regarding his falling out with the Trillings, as he does with his discussing his differing views with Hannah Arendt. He was surprised and put off regarding Arendt’s views on Israel. I’m inclined to agree with him 100% regarding the topic of Israel—on both his points. The first being, that Israel need not apologize or explain their rights and needs to be an autonomous individual, self-actualized Jewish State. Second that every Jew regardless of denomination, whether secular or not should make The State of Israel—a Jewish State—a priority.

The problem with Podhoretz’s thinking or at least his argument as put forth here, in Ex-Friends, is that he doesn’t extend his argument to offer a solution or an explanation and one is needed, whether he thinks so or not. The issue here is, and everyone should recognize this, is that it should never be an issue of a Jew having to dissect himself in order to grapple with Israel’s needs. And here is where Podhoretz fails. He doesn’t even offer up conjecture as to why America’s policies have to differ from Israel’s. The needs as well as the end game are very different. America was founded for very different reasons than was Israel. Needless to say, America was founded to maintain a way of life and Israel was founded to maintain a people. And while, Podhoretz, perhaps feels that the elite should be to America, what the Jews are to Israel, this just isn’t so. To simply wish this so by advocating Reagan and his trickle-down economics and save for one sentence mentioning social policies doing more harm than good for the poor in the afterward of Ex-friends doesn’t cut it.

And it is here that we must judge Ex-friends for both its politics and its literary acumen. Regarding books, both political and literary, one cannot take one out of the context of the other, according to Podhoretz himself. For someone so versed in politics and the literary scene--and Mr. Podhoretz clearly is—he comes off not offering up more than the “policy wonks” he so clearly has no use for, nor for that matter, does he bother following the rules of literary etiquette. He decidedly never answers his own questions posed. This is death both politically and literarily.

Still, when all is said and done, Ex-friends offers a glimpse into another time- a snapshot if you will—of an old man reminiscing of a by-gone time. Do read.

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Nov 07, 2010 Tommy Powell rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: history, perspective, u-s-history, literature-western-us

I have begun reading Podhoretz' new biography and I (of course) came across a few references to this work. So...
I it is an easy and quick read -Podhoretz's prose is among the best I've come across- and full of wonderful details about Lionel Trilling (first time I'd heard of him...), Lillian Hellman, Hannah Arendt (completely changed my idea of her) and Norman Mailer (justified my disregard for both the man and his writing).

One of the best aspects of this book, for me, is the insight I gained int...more

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Feb 14, 2012 Grizel rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book could have been so much more. An account of a leading conservative fighting with his liberal friends, all of them household names (if your household is made up of eggheads) could have been riveting. Instead it is about as unilluminating as it is possible for such a book to get. Podhoretz's account is far too general and abstract to be interesting: he almost never cites a specific argument or incident which led to a falling out, merely giving us a hindsight harangue about how much he al...more

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May 08, 2012 Linda rated it 1 of 5 stars · review of another edition

This book is a shameless account of the author's boundless self-interest and compulsive back-stabbing. He left the "Left" because he'd betrayed everyone in it. I did, however, enjoy his writing. His reasoning was erroneous and his lack of self-awareness distasteful; but the writing was okay.

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May 12, 2008 Robert rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

An interesting account of the political divergence of a group of New York, mainly-Jewish intellectuals from a common bond of liberalism in the 1940's to personal grudges and stark political differences. Perhaps the book's most important contribution is the extent to which it strips the mantel of sainthood off of Lillian Hellman and portrays her as a mediocre intellect whose main contribution to literature came through the considerable writing skill of her drunken-sot of a boy friend, Dashiel Ham...more

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Nov 13, 2011 K C rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

As one of those perfectly normal, boring low to middlebrow people with whom Podhoretz doesn't deign to associate, I enjoyed this window into the stories of people in whom I have only a purient interest. I was less enamored with his moralistic struggles of who deserves credit or blame for what.

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Dec 18, 2012 Hortense rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

although I hate his politics, I loved the concept of "ex-friends" - gentle and touching, this old goat remembers well. better than he deserves.

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Aug 12, 2011 Alan rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: books-about-books

Amazed that as a 60s teenager I knew who these people were he wrote about, the triumph of The Saturday Review and library I suppose. The perspective is certainly New York City Jewish from Columbia to the literary/political world that circled around various influencers. Saw an archive CSPAN interview of Podhoretz.

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Oct 10, 2008 Héctor rated it 3 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Revealing look into the minds of the Jewish intelligentsia in NY. Helps assess neocon behaviour...

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Shelves: it-wikipedia

Dec 01, 2012 Douglas Osborne rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

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Shelves: memoir

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