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How I Lost You
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How I Lost You

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3.77 of 5 stars 3.77  ·  rating details  ·  849 ratings  ·  119 reviews
There are a few things Grace Black knows for sure. One is that nothing will ever come between her and her best friend, Kya Kessler. They have a pact. Buds Before Studs. Sisters Before Misters. But in the summer before senior year, life throws out challenges they never expected. And suddenly the person who's always been there starts to need the favor returned. Grace and Kya ...more
Paperback, 309 pages
Published April 23rd 2013 by Sourcebooks Fire
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2013 Contemporary YA
39th out of 243 books — 1,485 voters
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Group Buddy Reads at YA Buddy Readers' Corner
62nd out of 204 books — 295 voters


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Community Reviews

(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Janet
Sep 11, 2012 Janet marked it as to-read  ·  (Review from the author)
I totally know what happens at the end of this one too. :)

Melanie
See more reviews at YA Midnight Reads

3.5 stars

Thank you Sourcebooks Fire for sending me this copy. No compensation was given or taken to alter this review.


How I Lost You is the first book I've read by Janet Gurtler. It will not be my last. Without reading the synopsis- I easily mistook this for a romance based story with all the crazy drama and cheesiness. This is not a love story. This is a novel about finding yourself. About letting go, about independence and about friendship. No matter how
...more
Jenni Arndt
As a Canadian I am always quick to support Canadian authors, so last year when I found out that Janet Gurtler was not only from Canada but lived in Calgary, I was quick to pick up some of her books. Prior to HOW I LOST YOU I had only gotten to read one, WHO I KISSED and I have to say that HOW I LOST YOU blew that one out of the water. This was a novel full of characters that I connected to emotionally and at the heart of the story is one of the most wonderful family units I have had the pleasure ...more
Stacey (Sassy Book Lovers)
Firstly I'd like to thank Jean BookNerd and Janet Gurtler for giving me the opportunity to join the tour and review this amazing book.

Now where to start...For me this book was a breath of fresh air, I've been reading so many young adult books lately and don't get me wrong, it's one of my favourite genre's. This book just brought something new to the table. Two best friends going through the hardships of life only to realise sometimes friendships don't last forever.

Grace and Kya are best friends,
...more
Angela
“I may not be happy with you right now, but I still love you.”
Thats how I felt reading this book.

At one point I was so mad at Kya I wanted to jump into the story and bitch slap her. But it didnt stop me from finishing it.

This book about letting go of your best friend, someone you thought would always be in your life no matter what.
It was ok. The paintball theme was resfreshing in comparison to the same old football/soccer/basketball stuff. The pacing was slow but it keeps you interested. It i
...more
Kay
Romance takes such an important place in YA fiction (probably because it also occupies an important place in most of young adult and teens' minds!), that it feels like friendship is often the leftover theme of novels, served on the side when the story needs a little push forward. Yet I remember my teen years being intensely focused on my friends, with all the tears and laughter that involved.

In How I Lost You, Janet Gurtler turns things around by making Grace's friendships the heart of the story
...more
Jessica
After reading Janet Gurtler's I'm Not Her, I wasn't all that impressed with her book. I found the characters annoying and just couldn't get into the story. Despite that experience, I read the summary of How I Lost You and decided to give Janet's books another try. And I'm so happy to say this one ended up being fantastic!

Grace and Kya have been best friends ever since Grace moved in next door, and absolutely nothing can change that. Even when Kya acts out and seems to only care about herself, Gr
...more
JeanBookNerd
Grace and Kya are the true meaning of what best friends are. The pair does everything together, shares each other’s inner thoughts, and made it known that nothing will ever come between them. When their friendship presents an unexpected challenge, they began to question just what their friendship means and what it means for their future. Janet Gurtler’s very powerful story, How I Lost You, details the events of what extent a friend will do for another friend and the selfishness one friend can be ...more
Nika (Off to Neverland)
My rating: 4/4.5 stars

This was actually a really good book! Honestly, I didn't start it expecting it to be anything above average. I don't know why I thought that, but I did. But I was proven wrong!

The story's about two girls, Grace Black and Kya Kessler, who are BFFs. They balance each other out: Grace is shy and not boy crazy, while Kya's the opposite. They are both series paint-ball players and are 100% sure that they will always be best friends. They'll go to the same college, and it'll all
...more
Tee loves Kyle Jacobson
How I Lost You is a story that has so many things in it that will surprise the reader. I love Janet's stories because she gives such a powerful message in the story that uplifts the reader and has teens looking at situations in a different light. This book is about friends and where friendships go and how they play out when on friend changes.

Grace and Kya are friends not only friends but best friends. They do everything together and they stick to the saying that friends come before anyone or any
...more
Haley ~ YA-Aholic
Wow, wow, wow!! What an intense story about friendship, going into How I Lost You, I really didn't know what was going to come from it, I had never read a story that's main focus was around a friendship and I worried I would end up not enjoying it. Thank goodness I totally loved it!!

How I Lost You is through the eyes of Grace, Grace knows two things are for sure, 1. she wants to play paintball with the all female college team the Grinders and 2. that Kya Kessler is her best friend that she would
...more
Fida Islaih
I love that it started of differently than other books and with an activity you wouldn't expect. I loved it like other little things. When she mentioned a certain kind of laugh I went back in time when I laughed like that with my own friends.

I loved that they had their friendship symbol and hugs like I have a friendly slap and hugs with my bestie.

I could already see that this story and friendship is going to make me cry. In the middle of the book I could feel the tears coming. I tried to hold
...more
Joséphine
For sports lovers, I'd say this is a good book. While the synopsis doesn't mention it, Grace and Kya are really into paintball. They play competitively and aim to be part the Grinders, an all-women's college team, when they leave high school. Grace's father owns a paintball place, so the two of them and their other best friend, James, spend their free time working there as well. Although, James isn't into playing paintball, the way the two girls are. Anyway, Grace has a very strong focus on pain ...more
Bacylia Ryals-cordova
Grace and her best friend Kya have a bond that seems unbreakable. Buds before Studs is the motto they live by. They spend everyday together but the summer before senior year might change it all. Sometimes they person who’s always the backbone needs a little support too. They wonder how much forgiveness can take place before it’s just too much. Will the answer be what they wanted it to?
This was my first read by Janet Gurtler. When I looked at the cover I thought it would be some boy meets girl t
...more
Megan
Jan 27, 2013 Megan rated it 4 of 5 stars
Shelves: ya
My favourite Gurtler book so far! Interesting story with absorbing characters, and I honestly can't say I've ever read a story about female paintballers before.
Kris
Every time I think that Janet Gurtler has wowed me, she does it again and better. What I love most about her writing is how she takes a relevant topic and makes it relatable to readers whether or not they've ever had to experience what the characters go through. More importantly, she writes about realistic teens that we can sympathize with. And this is what I look for in YA Contemporary.

I was especially excited to read How I Lost You because it's about two girl friends. While we all have them, o
...more
Hannah (The Irish Banana Review)
Reading How I Lost You by Janet Gurtler was like that eerie feeling you get when someone crawled into your head and put your own memories to paper. Like Grace, I had my own best friend growing up that I gradually grew estranged from until I could barely see what remained of our friendship in the distance. I learned the hard lesson that sometimes you can do everything right and it still just isn’t enough. Like the journey Grace embarks on in this novel.

Grace is a fantastically bright, vibrant cha
...more
Jenny / Wondrous Reads
How I Lost You was a real surprise find for me and I certainly wasn't expecting it to be as good as it was. I liked the sound of the intense friendship between Grace and Kya, and how that can take over your life, much like a romantic relationship can and does. It's an interesting dynamic to explore, though I tend to find that most YA books focus more on romance and the friendships get pushed to the wayside. Janet Gurtler has written an intelligent book about what happens when a friendship become ...more
Aly (My Heart Hearts Books)
What I love about this story is that at its core this story is about friendship and the limits of friendship. Kya is on a downward spiral and Grace has always been the person to get Kya back on track. It's never really been a problem until Kya's actions start affecting Grace and Grace's future. Gurtler makes you really question when enough is enough?

How I Lost You is so poignant and there are so many hard hitting moments and moments that make you contemplate about when to let go. I really tried
...more
Gabs
This book was so good. I haven't read a Contemporary YA this wonderful in a long time, trust me. I finished it in a day, and barely ever stopped reading!

What makes this book so good are the characters. Their struggles and emotions are portrayed in a very realistic way. My Favorite character was definitely Levi.

Another thing I liked was the fact that the main characters, Grace and Kya, are female paintballers. I mean, when did you last read a book with female paintballers as the main characters?
...more
Candace
How I Lost You was an extremely emotional read for me. I don't expect it would be that way for everyone, but would depend upon how much you connect with it and if you have had similar experiences. While my own experiences were very, very different, they were close enough that it really brought back a lot of what I felt as a teen. My best friend lived hours away so we only saw each other on occasional weekends and during the summer when I'd stay for extended periods. But she was the pretty one, s ...more
Jen
How I Lost You turned out to be a story about friendship, romance, and courage. What I liked about this one is that it's sole focus is the relationship between two friends, which isn't common among YA these days. You typically see romance-heavy issues in these types of contemporaries, but How I Lost You's outcome proved to be different. Even though I had some issues here and there, this one is an enjoyable read, with a good balance of sweet, adoring moments and serious, dark ones as well.

When I
...more
Stephanie (StephTheBookworm)
3.5/5

Grace, Kya, and James have been best friends forever. Kya has had a troubled past with some painful secrets though, and as a result, acts out in wild and promiscuous ways, always getting herself into some kind of trouble. James is sick and tired of Kya’s behavior, but Grace refuses to give up on her, constantly defending her and supporting her, even though she doesn’t always deserve it. When things finally come to a head, and Kya reveals her true nature, Grace must decide what friendships a
...more
Journey
THIS WAS NOT AT ALL WHAT I WANTED.

this was not a bad book. and in fact, it started off really promising. best girl friends who beat boys at paint ball! that's so cool! then it all goes downhill. the problem is that the end message of the book makes me REALLY MAD. is Kya the best behaved friend ever? no. but I'm MAD that (view spoiler)
...more
Korrie
How I lost you is a unique and interesting

story. It was definitely a page-turner and kept me absorbed and concerned. Between the sacrifices and tough decisions, Grace and her friend Kya have been through so much together. Between the parties, boys, and stress, this book showed me situations you can lead yourself into, that lead you a lot of thoughts and views on how to make the best decision for yourself and others. I notice how there’s a lot of conflict and I love how Grace decides to resolve i
...more
Christina (A Reader of Fictions)
For some reason, I was really skeptical of Janet Gurtler’s books. This might just have been because the premise for the one where a girl killed a boy with a severe peanut allergy by kissing him is so absurd to me. This is a horrible reason, or maybe it’s not the actual reason. Anyway, Jenni (Alluring Reads) really liked How I Lost You, and we’re pretty close to brain twins on contemporary YA, so I went for it. Thank goodness for friends who push you into reading things, because How I Lost You wa ...more
Leslie (That Chick That Reads)
I actually bought this book without even looking at the back of the cover for once. I wanted to just randomly pick up a book and so this is the one that ended up at my hands at the bookstore. I picked it mainly because the title screamed romance. I mean, come on! How I Lost You could easily be a story about a love that was lost and maybe found or not found and so forth. What I didn't expect was that this story was way more than that. It was about friendship, and what you do when it's finally tim ...more
Althea
I have read all of the other book from Janet Gurtler except #16ithoughtweretrue. I really enjoyed this book a lot. It really show the value of friendship and how life can change from one thing to another very quickly. There were a few surprises in the book that I really enjoyed.
Elaine
In short, this book was amazing.

I loved the writing, connected with Grace and adored her so much, loved Levi, hated Kya, loved Grace's parents, loved the plot, couldn't stop reading for even a brief moment. It was amazing.

My only problem is that the ending feels somewhat unresolved... We don't know what happens to Kya, or Grace making the team, or if Steve will get in trouble... But even though that was my one major issue, the whole rest of the book deserved four stars.

This is a rare contempor
...more
Jenn
How I Lost You is a truly moving novel that didn't have romance and cliche love as a central theme. Rather, it was like a side dish that complimented the main course. The fact that Janet Gurtler chose the universal theme of friendship is cliche- but the good kind. There were so many moments when I wanted to scream at Kya for being so manipulative and devious, but then, there were times when I truly did feel compassion for her. Of course, there were SO many times when I wanted to tell Grace that ...more
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A Rita Award Finalist and Crystal Kite Award Finalist, Janet Gurtler's young adult books have been chosen for the JUNIOR LIBRARY GUILD SELECTION and as BEST BOOKS FOR TEENS from the Canadian Children’s Book Center. Janet lives in Okotoks Alberta, Canada with her husband, son, and a chubby black Chihuahua named Bruce.

More about Janet Gurtler...
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“I may not be happy with you right now, but I still love you.” 38 likes
“You don’t have to sleep with guys,” I whispered, “to make them like you.”

Kya stared at me for a moment with heavy eyelids. “You don’t get it, do you, Gracie? I sleep with them so they won’t like me.” My heart broke for her a little more.”
2 likes
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