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The Truth about Lilly Barnes

by Kimberly Russell (Goodreads Author)

4.3 of 5 stars 4.30 · rating details · 64 ratings · 34 reviews

“Today is the day it is going to happen. I’m not melancholy or nervous. I just want to get it over with more than anything. Today is the day that I, Lilly Barnes, die.”

Lilly Barnes doesn't want to live anymore. She is prepared to leave her life, family, and more importantly, her best friend Buddy behind for good. But, why? What could be so horrible that it makes a young g...more

ebook, 343 pages

Published June 5th 2012

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Jun 05, 2012 Kimberly Russell rated it 5 of 5 stars · (Review from the author)

Shelves: i-wrote

I guess I'm going to give this one 5 stars. I thought the author showed real ... just kidding. :) I hope you all enjoy the book! It can be purchased at the following links.

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-t...

http://www.amazon.com/Truth-about-Lil...

11 likes · like · see review

Jun 16, 2012 Watermelon Daisy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites

When I put a down down as my favourite, don't take it lightly.

This book is one I'm happy to read, over and over again. It has a sort of magic which keeps me glued to the pages, and I love how I don't know instantly why Lilly wanted to commit suicide -it's an ongoing mystery throughout the entire book.

Lilly, the main character, was raw. It gave me shivers how much I could relate to her on a personal basis. Her character manages to put humour even when she's starting to kill herself. She has this...more

7 likes · like · see review

Sep 04, 2012 Anagha rated it 2 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Possibly if you're a very big fan of contemporary YA

Recommended to Anagha by: Stormi (Lightning Book Promotions)

"Everyone absolutely knows what a strawberry tastes like, even if you are allergic to them. Everyone absolutely knows what the toilet flushing sounds like. Everyone absolutely scratches their mosquito bites. And I know that I was absolutely ready to die. This wasn't a cry for help. I didn't want to be saved. I was ready to call it quits. Done. Terminado."

I don't know yet whether this just wasn't my kind of book or if it was actually subpar. Looking at one-after-the-other 5-star reviews makes me...more

4 likes · like · see review

Jun 24, 2012 Disincentive/Feta rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: EVERYONE

Shelves: from-author, best-2012, review

MY REVIEW, GUST POST BY AUTHOR AND A GIVEAWAY: http://disincentive-reviews.blogspot....

Lily wants to die. That’s the only thing I could be sure at the beginning. Why? Maybe because of her alcoholic mother? It doesn’t matter. She just takes all the pills she can see and drinks a cup of wood polisher. "At least when I die they can say I had lemony fresh breath."
…But she gets saved of course. Asked in the hospital if she’d do it again, she says “yes”.
Why?

Lily is one of my favorite heroines in b...more

3 likes · like · see review

Sep 11, 2012 Lexxie (un)Conventional Bookviews rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2012

*I received a free ARC of this book in exchange of an honest review*

The full review can be found on my blog (un)Conventional Bookviews.

2 likes · like · see review

Nov 02, 2012 Allizabeth Collins rated it 4 of 5 stars

Review:

I had trouble putting this book down after the first couple of sentences; Lilly's statement, "I really am dying tonight... it will be all my choice and by my own hands." immediately affected me. Why would someone choose death over life? What in their life could be bad enough to warrant suicide? Lilly's reasoning was not immediately apparent, but I was compelled to read on, her silent goodbyes to school, friends, inanimate objects, and Channing Tatum setting the book's overall tone - dee...more Review:

I had trouble putting this book down after the first couple of sentences; Lilly's statement, "I really am dying tonight... it will be all my choice and by my own hands." immediately affected me. Why would someone choose death over life? What in their life could be bad enough to warrant suicide? Lilly's reasoning was not immediately apparent, but I was compelled to read on, her silent goodbyes to school, friends, inanimate objects, and Channing Tatum setting the book's overall tone - deep melancholy with a dash of hope. I am not a teenager, but I do remember the hormone-fueled emotions of middle and high school, so I could relate to Lilly in some ways, but other times, I felt like I was reading about half of a character. This may have been because of the journal-like format of the book, but I thought that her character could have been more developed. The dialogue was basic and easy-to-read, and the book itself was very short, (156 pages), however, every page counted for something, and I felt that Kimberly Russell chose her words carefully to keep readers interested in Lilly's story. I liked the flow of the plot, although the pace seemed slow in some areas. I spotted grammatical errors throughout - nothing a second editing couldn't fix - but nothing really deterred me from finding out "the truth". The book could have done without the "budding romance", but I do admit that it helped get the message across, (no spoilers). I know that depression and suicide are uncomfortable topics for most people, especially when talking about children and teens who have their whole lives ahead of them, but depression is not uncommon in these age groups. I am glad that the author has written Lilly's story, even though the topic is a tough one. I definitely recommend it to readers thirteen and up; parts of the book may be emotionally raw and disturbing, but people need to understand that these feelings exist, and that there are ways to deal with them besides suicide.

Rating: On the Run (4/5)

*** I received this book from the author (Lightning Book Promotions) in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.(less)

1 like · like · see review

Sep 16, 2012 Ruth Hill rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: e-books

From the moment I began reading this book, I was absolutely engrossed! This is one short, powerful book that I think should be required reading for almost every youth. I have read young adult books that left me wanting more or very disenchanted. Not so with this book! It was an adrenaline rush from the beginning!

There were no bedroom scenes--thankfully! There was some profanity, but I honestly was not turned off by it. While I would caution parents about letting their kids read this if profanity...more

3 likes · like · see review

Sep 03, 2012 Marissa rated it 4 of 5 stars

From the book description, I can already see and thought that this was most likely going to be an emotional, pulling type read. Even before I read the first page, I felt for Lilly...

This story starts out with Lilly, a 17 year old girl, who attempts to end her life, and does she actually go with it? Well, she ends up going to a facility, I suppose an institution, to get better, and Lilly will have a difficult time of opening up, telling her story, her truth on why she wanted to kill herself, but...more From the book description, I can already see and thought that this was most likely going to be an emotional, pulling type read. Even before I read the first page, I felt for Lilly...

This story starts out with Lilly, a 17 year old girl, who attempts to end her life, and does she actually go with it? Well, she ends up going to a facility, I suppose an institution, to get better, and Lilly will have a difficult time of opening up, telling her story, her truth on why she wanted to kill herself, but does she go through it? She has never opened up her raw feelings, a deep secret, to anyone, not even to her best friend, Buddy, whose a sweetheart, a friend you perhaps wish to have. And it does not help that she has a hectic family or can you even call it a family? She has a Father that abandoned her, a Mother that Lilly thinks does not care for her or perhaps anything, but her love of drinking, and Lilly has a Step Father that she tries to avoid as much as possible. Ultimately, can Lilly go through with this treatment as if she does get better and all, who will she go home to? Does she even have the strength anymore to fight an internal battle within herself? Well, you will have to read for yourself and find out...

I think Lilly's situation, as I was reading the story, was just heart tugging and there were some personal relatable traits I found I had with Lilly. As I have mentioned before, I do in ways like to connect with the characters, and here and there, throughout the story, there were some things I felt I connected with Lilly. To me, this was a really good story, and one I found myself I could not put down. This is Lilly's journey to her ultimate truth, on wanting to take her life. I found and know that the issue of opening up is difficult, something hard to handle. That keeping something inside of you is the best thing, but it's hurting you even more, and for Lilly, it's best for her to open up, to open up her soul, to tell her full story on why she wanted to do something unchangeable.

At some point in the story, there's a situation revealed that made me say out loud, 'Oh Snap!', very true by the way. I guess it's something that I was not expecting, I mean it could have been a possibility, but as it is being explained, it was just sorta surprising! The situation is a truth that is hard to even write, but it's something or some things that can never be taken back, and again I felt for Lilly.

I liked that there were two POVs, Lilly's primarily, but glad Buddy's voice was read; he was a great developed character, and saw how he and Lilly just have this great friendship that can never be broken when it could have been. There was a good pace; really nice writing, that had a great flow. I will definitely be reading more of this Author's work in the future. Ultimately, this is a story that I feel must be read as you will find great and important messages :) (less)

1 like · like · see review

Sep 13, 2012 Tracey (YA Book Addict) rated it 5 of 5 stars

As a reader I get so swept up in a story and it's characters. I swoon over the gorgeous guys, I adore all the sweet romance, I love all the strong and sassy female leads and I love to hate all the bad guys. I ride each and every emotion that a book manages to make me feel. So I can only imagine the depth of emotions that must be felt by an author who writes something as emotional as The Truth About Lilly Barnes.

Lilly Barnes has no desire to live. She has been keeping a secret and it's eating her...more As a reader I get so swept up in a story and it's characters. I swoon over the gorgeous guys, I adore all the sweet romance, I love all the strong and sassy female leads and I love to hate all the bad guys. I ride each and every emotion that a book manages to make me feel. So I can only imagine the depth of emotions that must be felt by an author who writes something as emotional as The Truth About Lilly Barnes.

Lilly Barnes has no desire to live. She has been keeping a secret and it's eating her up inside. She can see no way that she will ever live a fulfilled and happy life. Not even her friendship with her best friend Buddy is enough to sway her. So she plans to end her life. She has everything worked out and in her mind it's fairly foolproof. She is so comfortable and at peace with the decision that she's made. There is almost a calmness about her as she says goodbye to the things she will miss.

“I think of all the things I will miss. I think about coffee, red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, Little Women, and Channing Tatum. Oh, how I will miss Channing Tatum.”

It took me quite some time to work out what Lily was dealing with in her life. And when I did it was like a punch to my stomach. I've never read a book that dealt with this before. I've never experienced the things that Lilly has but these things happen in the world that we live in.

The Truth about Lilly Barnes is told from Lilly's point of view, but every now and then we get a chapter told in her best friend Buddy's voice. Aside from showing us what a wonderful person he is and what an amazing family he has, it gives us a glimpse into the other side of suicide and the feelings that those that will be left behind deal with.

This book is powerful, deep and heartbreaking!! But it's also a story filled with hope, friendship and love. If just one person reads this book and comes to the realization that there is hope, that they are not alone and that things can get better, then that would be an amazing thing!! A huge kudo's to Kimberly Russell for delving into such a tough subject matter. A truly amazing book!!!

First posted at YA Book Addict... http://youngadultbookaddict.blogspot....(less)

2 likes · like · see review

Jun 12, 2012 Alison rated it 5 of 5 stars

I had randomly spotted this on Amazon, downloaded it to my Kindle and read it in one afternoon. I’m drawn to stories about suicide, I’m interested to know the reasons behind the action. The reason behind Lilly’s decision isn’t immediately obvious and in fact I hadn’t guessed the reason until it was revealed.

The story is told mostly from Lilly’s point of view but there are a couple of chapters told from the point of view of her best friend (and possible romantic interest?), Buddy. I liked the var...more

3 likes · like · see review

Sep 08, 2012 Chapter by Chapter rated it 4 of 5 stars

What a powerful read! I didn’t even realize how quickly I was reading this book. One minute I had just started, and the next minute I was done. I will admit that the opening scene in the book captured my attention, and the rest of the book held it.

The Truth About Lilly Barnes by Kimberly Russell follows the struggles of, you guessed it, Lilly Barnes. Lilly has been planning her death. She has completely made up her mind, has found the way in which she wants to go, and plans on executing it after...more What a powerful read! I didn’t even realize how quickly I was reading this book. One minute I had just started, and the next minute I was done. I will admit that the opening scene in the book captured my attention, and the rest of the book held it.

The Truth About Lilly Barnes by Kimberly Russell follows the struggles of, you guessed it, Lilly Barnes. Lilly has been planning her death. She has completely made up her mind, has found the way in which she wants to go, and plans on executing it after dinner…her last supper.

But life throws a curve ball, and Lilly’s plans of death fall through. Instead of being dead, Lilly finds herself in a hospital, stomach pumped, and ready to be shipped off of to a treatment centre. It is at this centre that Lilly finally finds it in herself to come to grips with the reasons for her suicidal tendencies, and to lift her dark past off her shoulders and start to live.

The Truth About Lilly Barnes was a wonderfully written book. Raw and to the point. The character of Lilly is one that I found to be so strong and brave, and extremely loveable. I wanted to gather her up in my arms and hug the crap out of her. She is truly an inspirational character…one that I am so glad to have been able to have had a chance to read about.

Author, Kimberly Russell, does an amazing job of building the background of Lilly’s troubled life, as well as showing us this beautiful friendship that Lilly has with Buddy. I absolutely adored Buddy. My favorite part in the book was the description of how Lilly and Buddy study…where Lilly would study her books, and Buddy would study Lilly’s hair. It was so sweet and adorable, and made me smile. I was so glad that Lilly had someone like Buddy in her life.

Although I pretty much figured out the reason for Lilly’s attempted suicide, it still didn’t deter me from reading this story, and watching everything unfold. I would make note that this is not a story for the faint of heart, or for the very young as there is descriptions of sexual assault. But aside from that, this is a story of strength, courage, and perseverance. It’s about accepting the cards life has drawn for you, and becoming a stronger individual because of it.

I recommend this book for fans of a darker Contemporary read, for those looking for a quick read, and for those who are looking for stories that may change your life…or the way you look at life.(less)

1 like · like · see review

Sep 04, 2012 Laura Ashlee rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, young-adult

http://www.owltellyouaboutit.com/posts/the-truth-about-lilly-barnes/

I picked up The Truth about Lilly Barnes for a blog tour and I really enjoyed it. It reminded me a little of Thirteen Reasons Why, mainly because that’s one of the only other books I’ve read that dealt with suicide. Lilly Barnes is certainly more uplifting though. Parts of it were very sad, but I loved the way Kimberly Russell handled the issues.

Most of the story is told from Lilly’s point of view, though Buddy gets a few chapte...more

1 like · like · see review

Aug 10, 2012 Paula Mitchell rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: read-in-2012

This was sent to me via the author as part of a blog tour for a honest and fair review. There aren't many people who could pull of this sort of book. Kimberly Russell has the ability to write about things we would rather not talk about. Lilly Barnes has horrible secrets that she can't seem to talk about. She tries to kill herself hoping that would end the horror in her mind but it didn't go as planned. Lilly's family is about as dysfunctional as can get. The only one she cares about is Buddy and...more

3 likes · like · see review

Jan 24, 2013 Jaclyn rated it 5 of 5 stars

I like this book because through out the story, you don't know why Lilly is doing what she's doing. Sometimes people hide, even from those who know them the best, dark secrets because they are afraid or ashamed. You never know what the people closest to you are going through. As for the characters in this book the stepdad is a DIRTBAG! He's more than that. I absolutely hate the mom. She is a horrible, selfish person who does not deserve the privilege of having a child... I can't wait for another...more

1 like · like · see review

Jan 13, 2013 Stephanie Parent rated it 5 of 5 stars

Kimberly Russell’s The Truth about Lilly Barnes is one of the most realistic depictions of depression I’ve ever read, and it’s also a story you won’t be able to stop reading once you start. I really think anyone who has experienced depression themselves, or knows someone who’s struggled with depression and/or abuse, should read this book—and really, isn’t that almost everyone?

At the risk of getting too personal, I will say that I have struggled with depression myself, and a lot of fictional (an...more Kimberly Russell’s The Truth about Lilly Barnes is one of the most realistic depictions of depression I’ve ever read, and it’s also a story you won’t be able to stop reading once you start. I really think anyone who has experienced depression themselves, or knows someone who’s struggled with depression and/or abuse, should read this book—and really, isn’t that almost everyone?

At the risk of getting too personal, I will say that I have struggled with depression myself, and a lot of fictional (and heck, even nonfictional) accounts of depression read somehow “off” to me. With The Truth about Lilly Barnes, I never had this problem. I’d say the author either has some personal experience in this field or did very detailed research, because everything about this book felt realistic, from Lilly’s internal thought processes at various stages in her journey, to the description of the psychiatric facility, to the characterization of the therapist. In addition, Lilly’s reaction to the incident that prompted her suicide attempt was VERY real, complex, and well-defined.

This novel draws you in from the very beginning as Lilly tells us that she plans to commit suicide, but doesn’t reveal her reasons. This tactic forces readers to keep turning pages…but it also forces me to be a bit vague in my review, so sorry about that! The other factor that draws you in right away is Lilly’s vivid voice. Lilly’s depression comes through loud and clear, but so does her dark sense of humor, which keeps the narration from becoming overdramatic or maudlin. Here’s a great example, when Lilly sees her IV in the hospital:

“It seems sort of unnecessary to prolong my life but I guess they can’t just let me die. I’m sure there would be paperwork.”

As the story continues, we also get the POV of Lilly’s friend Buddy. While Buddy’s POV isn’t quite as memorable as Lilly’s, it’s still distinct and gives us a necessary break from the intensity of Lilly’s worldview.

Since Smashwords gives word counts on its website, I know that The Truth about Lilly Barnes is a shorter book, at just over 30000 words. However, it didn’t feel short to me, and definitely not too short. If anything, I think the sparseness and compactness of the writing really helped to avoid any potential melodrama. And the ending was perfect—hopeful and sweet without being unrealistic.
(less)

2 likes · like · see review

Sep 03, 2012 ABookVacation rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a very powerful novel that looks into the life of a teenage girl facing a dark secret that leaves her feeling helpless and alone, choosing death over facing her fears day in and day out. With such heavy topics at hand, it feels almost wrong to say this is a great novel, but it is; it touches on topics that makes people uncomfortable, it deals with sadness and abuse, love and hate, redemption and, of course, suicide, and I think it’s one of those novels that could do more than just touch...more

1 like · like · see review

Jun 07, 2012 Amanda rated it 5 of 5 stars

Wonderful! I was drawn to Lilly immediately and needed to find out what made her tick. Couldn't put this down!

Lilly was so relatable. A girl you would like for a friend who's is strong and compassionate. But she has a secret pain that brings her to the end of her endurance and finally breaks her. And like so many things, it's in the breaking that she is made whole. A heartbreaking and redeeming journey.

I cannot say adequately just how much I liked this book, 10 stars would not be enough. Bravo...more

1 like · like · see review

Sep 09, 2012 Rachel Simons rated it 5 of 5 stars

When I read the synopsis I thought why would a young girl want to end her life when it’s just beginning. Reading the account of how she decided to kill herself was quite disturbing and reading on from this got even more disturbing. It was very heart wrenching and now I know the reasons why she wanted to end her life.

The book was very well written from a teens prospective. It is a book that you can get lost in because you do not learn the reason why she wanted to commit suicide until later on in...more

1 like · like · see review

Oct 22, 2012 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012-reading-challenge

I picked this up last night immediately after finishing another book. I thought I would just read a chapter and see how it was before retiring for the night. I didn't put it down until I turned the last page. True. Exhausted!!
It's a relatively short read of 152 pages but those pages had me comitted to everyword. Kimberly Russell did an outstanding job with Lilly Barnes. I loved it.

1 like · like · see review

Jun 08, 2012 Christina rated it 5 of 5 stars

Kimberly Russell did it again, the Truth about Lilly Barnes is another example of the talented upcoming author. The story is full of relationships you wish you had and some your thankful you don't. I've read the book three times now and can't put it down each time! Mrs Russell grows with each new novel and I can't wait to see where her next book takes us <3

2 likes · like · see review

Jul 05, 2012 Quinessa rated it 3 of 5 stars

I don't know if I liked this books as much as I thought I would. I felt it was a bit slow moving, but, I also felt that it had a lot of depth. I had a strange feeling that there were just some details that was missed in the book. But, I loved the relationship between Buddy and Lilly. I also loved that she was open to talking about herself and what happened.

1 like · like · see review

Jun 26, 2012 Rachelle rated it 5 of 5 stars

My emotions while reading this book: Sad. Intrigued. Compelled. It's like seeing the world thru the eyes of a lost soldier of life. It's sad to think that there are a million "Lilly Barnes" out there. Physically fit, but emotionally broken. This book is a definite must read for teenagers out there who think that life is full of sh*t. It's not. Last but not the least, I felt happy that Lilly Barnes found her "sweet days" at the end.

1 like · like · see review

Jun 05, 2012 Jennifer rated it 5 of 5 stars

I was obsessed with finding out "the truth" from the second I started reading this book. I loved it. I had the pleasure of reading it before others....I am fortunate enough to call the author my friend, but friend or not, I am honest in my assessment of this book- it was amazing!

4 likes · like · see review

Jul 16, 2012 Hmr28 rated it 2 of 5 stars

This is a poorly written "issue" book. There were so many grammatical, spelling, and word choice errors that it was difficult to read. The bones of a good story were there but the execution was poor.

3 likes · like · see review

Jun 10, 2012 Amber Brown rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: i-just-died

I can't put into words how much I loved this book. It moved me and I cried and I cheered for her at the same time. It was stunning and I wished it had never ended.

1 like · like · see review

Aug 07, 2012 Jasmine rated it 3 of 5 stars

I adore the character Buddy! Lily is such a strong girl. I hate thinking about other people going through similar problems. It makes me angry and sad.

1 like · like · see review

Jul 27, 2012 Sarah Grace James-Miller marked it as to-read

Buddy is my old dog's name... Hopefully he isn't a type of love interest cause then that'd be rather creepy to me.

like · see review

Jul 09, 2012 Karie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: own-on-kindle

I read this in just one day I think. Rare for me. I really felt attached to the characters - LOVED Buddy and his family!

2 likes · like · see review

Jun 08, 2012 Andreana rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: nw-book-club, contemporary-ya

I loved it! It was heartbreaking (shed a few tears) but hopeful. Buddy was my favorite character:) Great book!

1 like · like · see review

Aug 31, 2012 Louisa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Really good book, dealing with serious situations, so I'm glad that Buddy and Lilly got a happy ending, which really added some great things to the book!

1 like · like · see review

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About Kimberly Russell

Hello! I have written two novels - BETWEEN BALLOONS and THE TRUTH ABOUT LILLY BARNES. I am currently working on my third novel, THE ADORATION OF EMMA WYLDE.

I’m obsessed with all things Jane Austen. I read a lot of YA but my all-time favorite is a cozy mystery. As far as teen books go I really love Stephanie Perkins, Sarah Dessen, Sara Zara, and Ann Brashares. As far as adult books go I love Sidne...more

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“I think of all the things I will miss. I think about coffee, red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, Little Women, and Channing Tatum. Oh, how I will miss Channing Tatum.” — 10 people liked it

“It seems sort of unnecessary to prolong my life but I guess they can’t just let me die. I’m sure there would be paperwork.” — 4 people liked it

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