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Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man

3.56  ·  Rating Details  ·  2,741 Ratings  ·  153 Reviews
The comic who's a guy's guy is now a bookseller's dream. The star of ABC's Home Improvement, the #1 show on television, Tim Allen has written the book millions have been awaiting--the naked truth about his outlook on life, love, and lathes. Allen's movie debut this November in The Santa Clause is certain to generate additional media attention. Line drawings.
Hardcover, 210 pages
Published 1994 by Hyperion
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Kevin George
Feb 13, 2010 Kevin George rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
Tim Allen has always been a fantastic comedian, and Ive always been an ardent fan ever since Home Improvement. ALthough the title seemed seemed a lil odd, I thought Id give a chance anyways.. Tim decribes how his "roaring" male ego came to be, with an amazing shot of humor. If you're a man reading this book will definitely bring back those memories of all the crazy things boys did during the different phases of growing up. If you're a woman, here's your chance to understand why those boys at sch ...more
Rich Gamble
Uuuhhhh? Tim Allen was a writer? This book was in fact written at the peak of his fame with Home Improvement and The Santa Claus, both of which I am a big fan. The subject matter is mostly about being a man R-R-R-R (this is how he spells his signature call in the book) and our differences to the fairer sex.

This is definitely a product of its day. One can imagine 50% of sales were for Fathers Day presents given the September release date & it just seems designed only for this purpose, offeri
Feb 24, 2013 Joy rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
This book is hilarious, laugh-out-loud funny! I read it when we were staying at a B&B one summer - couldn't put it down!
Thom Swennes
When I came across this book in the bookstore, I was surprised. I knew Tim Allen from his Home Improvement series and became an instant fan of the grunting and occasionally inapt “do-it-yourself” guru, Tim (the tool man) Taylor. I was mildly surprised that he could write. I was really surprised that he seemed to have actually written a book. That was all the excuse I needed to add Don’t Stand too Close to a Naked Man to my growing pile of purchases.
From the first paragraph I could hear, the now
Matt Graham

The book Don’t Stand too Close to a Naked Man by Tim Allen is pretty funny. The book doesn’t really have a plot or a main story line its about guys growing up. A lot of it is funny because its either happened or you hear of it happened to people when they were growing up. Through out the book Tim Allen sounds like the uncle you look up to explaining his childhood, like how he got arrested, being in a band, partying all the time. The book is pretty funny and keeps you interested even though ther
Feb 18, 2016 Andrew rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
First heard of this book 15 years or so years ago when the VHS version of 'The Santa Clause' came out. There was a little advert before the movie and at the time, I didn't feel interested because at that point, I was even 10 years old yet. 15 or so years later, it had numerous funny parts that just had me laughing out loud. Some could say 'borderline chauvinistic,' but I don't think so. Really, just taking a humourous stroll down the world of men and women. Well...that is straight men and women. ...more
Mallory Kellogg
Aug 31, 2013 Mallory Kellogg rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I got this book from Goodwill. And I'm glad I did.

I started reading it at the movie theater, waiting for the flick to start. And immediately this is what happened:

I got a lot of looks, like "Is that a real life book she's laughing at? WTF? People still read?"

But anyway, I learned a lot about Tim Allen in this book. There was a lot of Home Improvement/Last Man Standing jokes in here, lots of tool jokes and lots and lots of dick jokes, too. I get the feeling a lot of what we see on television is r
Jordan Verhulst
My Goodreads book was Tim Allen: Don’t Stand Too Close to a Naked Man. Overall, it was a funny, yet somewhat sensual book. By the way it was written and what was in it, you could definitely tell that Tim Allen was the author. Though it was advertised as an autobiography, the book was more closely attuned with defining who and what men are, what men do, and how men differ from women. He did this by going through events in his life for examples in chronological order. So, Tim Allen’s purpose in th ...more
Sarah Sammis
Mar 19, 2008 Sarah Sammis rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I wasn't sure what to expect from Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man but I was hooked and laughing myself silly half way through the first chapter. The book was written midway through Home Improvement (1991-9) but only mentions the show in passing. The book is mostly a memoir told as a series of stand-up routines.

Allen begins the book by explaining why he's a comedian. He points the finger squarely at his last name (Dick). I had to giggle there not because of the many penis tangents he takes
Deana Carpenter
i love tim allen. i laughed out loud throughout this book. although he is speaking from a male point of view, i found that he was spot-on about a lot of things in life. ALTHOUGH...the guy clearly has issues with women. he complains through the entire book about how women step all over men and "it's not fair!!!" wahh. kinda obnoxious. he also can't say a nice thing about his wife (except for maybe 2 sentences of the standard.."no, really.. i love my wife. guilt ridden section) which shouldn't sur ...more
Jul 06, 2009 Jamie rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: any woman wanting to understand why men do what they do
Recommended to Jamie by: my sister
Shelves: non-fiction, comedy
Got this as a Christmas present from my sister, and within the month, I lent it back to her, my mother, and my other sisters.

This was a fun little book, based on the comedy routines of Tim Allen, but also laced with some autobiographical material on the man. It's refreshing to men who will read it and think, "I do that too!", while also being readable and enlightening to women who will say, "*THAT'S* why they do that?!?"

Fun, quick read that is far superior to the follow-up I'm Not Really Here. (
Arni Vidar Bjorgvinsson
Well, that was a pretty disappointing read.

I don't know why it was disappointing, though. Even though Tim Allen was funny on TV and in movies, and despite having a successful comedy/standup career, it doesn't automatically mean that he'd be a good writer. A fun writer, yes, but not necessarily any good.

Although the premise of the book, and the theme it self is amusing, and there are spots around the book that made me laugh really hard (some very funny standup kinda one-liners), the book it self
Apr 25, 2014 Nichole rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
At first, I didn't like his writing voice. It didn't flow too well; but it grew on me. You start to really get who Tim is and this is how he thinks and talks. It got a bit funny halfway through, but nothing laugh out loud and gasp for air funny... which I'm use to from comedian writers.

For the most part, his book lets you inside the mind of men and what his idea of what women are like. He'll openly admit, and there's sarcasm throughout, that he and no one, really seems to understand women, but h
Jul 23, 2010 Amanda rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
This book was awesome! Every woman should read it. This book delves deep into the male psyche. Ever want to know just why your husband will not put the toilet seat down? Allen is a no holds barred type of guy. He will tell you what he wants and not sugar coat a damn thing. That is exactly what 'Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man' is. He is unapologetic in how he is, what he is. He is a man. Point blank. He makes no excuses. He tells of his first chubby. His first real honest to god crush, who ...more
Jul 18, 2011 Waven rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: youth, non-fiction, humor
I loved this book as a teenager. It's a very easy read and manages a sort of nostalgic appeal, but it also has a lot of fluff. Since it isn't meant to be taken too seriously, it would make a great beach read or in-flight quickie. I laughed out loud a handful of times and often found myself smiling; and the last fifty pages or so really picked up. They are easily the best of the book, though the short piece on his father is also quite touching. His descriptions of childhood and jail are also funn ...more
Tara Calaby
I bought this way back when Home Improvement was still a prime-time offering and remember not being particularly impressed at the time. Re-reading it now, that estimation becomes "completely unimpressed". I know that Allen specialises in blokey humour, focussing upon Neanderthal-esque men in particular, but this feels just like an unfunny collection of generalisations. Trust me - if all men were like Allen says they are, there would be a lot more lesbians in the world ;) Unfortunately, it gets w ...more
David Erickson
Last year I read Allen's, 'I'm Not Really Here'. It was a rollicking good time and I expected as much from 'Naked Man', but was a little disappointed.

This is all about men and how differently we act from women, but though it had funny spots well worth sharing, it rarely rose above the level of fart jokes.

I would highly recommend the first, but 'Naked Man' is a call you'll have to make. I'd suggest indulging in a pitcher of beer and salty snacks as you wade into it. Short quips make it an easy, c
Craig Williams
Mar 19, 2012 Craig Williams rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
After reading Drew Carey's book, I decided to pick this one up and look into the life of another favorite comedian that I watched every week growing up. Not only was I used to seeing Tim Allen on TV, but I loved watching his movies. "Galaxy Quest" is still one of my favorite sci-fi movies to this day. That being said, I didn't know anything about Tim Allen's past and was surprised by a lot of it. I think the biggest surprise was how smart the man is. He plays dumb on TV and movies, but the man h ...more
Feb 26, 2009 Sabrina rated it did not like it
I read 'I'm Not Really Here' years ago and have reread it a couple of times, but I'm not sure if it's only in my memories that it's good, or if this one is just so much worse. I literally threw it away after two chapters, because it was too painful to read.

Even though I understand that the parts are basically stand-up routines, I'd really appreciate some cohesion within the chapters. And even though comedy often lives off of stereotypes (and I can laugh about them), I did find his generalisatio
Apr 15, 2008 Maurean rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: nonfiction
I went through school with Tim's wife, Jane, and I just LUVED him in "Home Improvement", so I thought I'd give his book a read.

So, you would think that now, after having read “Dirty Jokes & Beer” by Drew Carey, and making my way through Paul Reiser’s “Couplehood”, that I would have realized for myself that just because I luv them in their 30 minute sit-com television appearances (and I *DO*…DID...all of them!), that this doesn’t necessarily translate into an uproarious romp on paper. Don’t g
Mar 18, 2011 Alex rated it did not like it
I was watching the E! True Hollywood Story on Home Improvement the other day, and they mentioned Tim Allen had written an autobiography. Since I have some strange obsession with celebrity books, I was naturally intrigued, and went and checked it out immediately.

Unfortunately, it was just Tim talking about how guys are horny and woman don't understand. I read all the way to page 60, and then started skipping ahead wondering if it got better. I read one other chapter all the way through, but then
Paula Dembeck
This book is a short, witty book about things Tim has learned and wants to share about being a man.

I would compare it to one long monologue from one of his stand up routines. Yes, parts of it are indeed funny and there is some interesting levity and honesty around the time he spent in prison and the birth of his daughter. But I found the book a disappointment.

This is a good read if you want a few laughs while you are waiting your turn in the dentist’s office, waiting for a plane or the arrival o
Feb 16, 2016 Mariaan rated it really liked it  ·  review of another edition
I loved this. Very honest and very funny. Easy read, but very entertaining!!
Mar 14, 2013 Mick rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Tim Allen puts his stand-up comedy routines in a book. If you have ever seen Allen doing his comedy live, stick with it. I'm sure it is extremely hilarious, now you won't have to read the book.

Here is a quote, "I'm occasionally asked by complete strangers what a man should look for in a gal. The answer is easy: breath. She should be alive. Right away you'll be ahead of the game, and once you have established the presence of her vital signs, you can take your time looking deeper into the abyss.
Ruth Yamamoto greenwood
I enjoyed reading about Tim Allen's book about his life before '"Home Improvement". It was funny and very personal about some of the things Tim Allen had faced in his life. A good read!
Indah Threez Lestari
599th - 2011

Baru tahu Tim Allen nama aslinya Timothy Allen Dick. Nama keluarga yang amat mengganggu pertumbuhan jiwa sampai dibahas berhalaman-halaman. Eh, pas mau tampil di teve malah dilarang pakai nama asli, takut dikira mengada-ada supaya lucu saja.

Buku ini boleh dibilang semi biografi, karena meskipun ngocol tentang apa saja selalu dikaitkan dengan pengalaman pribadi Tim Allen dari masa kanak-kanak hingga dewasa. Berbeda dari buku Seinfeld atau Paul Reiser yang isinya kumpulan monolog stand
At first this book really had me rolling my eyes and wanting to put it down. It reminded me too much of the attitude of the show Men Behaving Badly. There's a whole locker-room, fraternity-house, anything-goes side of men that is incredibly immature and which will always affect me like fingernails on a blackboard, and this book seemed to be heading in that direction. When the author talks about going to jail, however, he wins me over. He was right about needing to go to jail -- it saved his life ...more
Jun 12, 2011 Gregg rated it it was ok  ·  review of another edition
Shelves: non-fiction
This book isn't that great. Tim Allen is alright and I like some of his movies (Okay, I LOVE For Richer or Poorer. I am not ashamed) so I picked this up for 50 cents at a flea market, but I don't care enough about him to make this book interesting. It falls into that boring rut of explaining why guys are the way they are. It also felt a little disingenuous, because he mentions being in jail, but doesn't explain why he was there (He got caught trafficking a bunch of cocaine).
Jul 17, 2014 Rob rated it liked it  ·  review of another edition
I remember laughing out loud while reading this back in 1996. Don't judge me though, I was a simple middle school kid.
Jan 30, 2013 Lorri rated it it was amazing  ·  review of another edition
I know, right?! This came out a long time ago and I bought it when it was first published. I have read it a few times and love it every time. One of the few books I've read more than once. It's just hilarious in true Tim Allen form. It's just about life in general and told with such wit and humor. It's a great distraction if you're feeling a need to just remember how fun it is to laugh and enjoy funny stories.
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“The greatest missile in the world is useless...unless it's targeted. A torpedo is adrift unless it has someplace to go. An arrow is pointless unless it hits something. So it's important for kids—for everyone, even if you fail at first—to target something and head in that direction. With all your might.” 4 likes
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