false 147233 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 147233 10 1613467 2001 I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives total:65|5:11|4:32|3:14|2:8|1:0| 65 241 155 9 44018 3.68 1467 267 47714757 1249240 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.67 45 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 4 0 false Thu Mar 12 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Fri Feb 27 13:32:36 -0800 2009 Thu Mar 19 09:39:04 -0700 2009 1 That's Not What I Meant! by the same author a year or so ago and decided to look for more of her books. This is a pretty good read. It can feel a little repetitive after awhile as the author restates, refines, and gives examples for the main points of the book. But it can give some good cl...more...]]> 57261934 383922 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 0 0 false Mon May 25 11:08:49 -0700 2009 Mon May 25 11:09:44 -0700 2009 45101658 1258773 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 4 0 false Sat Sep 01 00:00:00 -0700 2001 Sun Feb 01 20:40:31 -0800 2009 Sun Feb 01 20:40:50 -0800 2009 37939742 1667513 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 3 0 false Mon Nov 17 07:40:04 -0800 2008 Mon Nov 17 07:42:53 -0800 2008 more...]]> 49608042 2010884 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 5 0 false Wed Apr 01 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Tue Mar 17 17:53:49 -0700 2009 Wed Apr 01 08:05:32 -0700 2009 49150710 936947 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 2 0 false Tue Apr 21 00:00:00 -0700 2009 Fri Mar 13 09:25:21 -0700 2009 Tue Apr 21 10:52:11 -0700 2009 22194537 950398 147224 0345407520 9780345407528 3 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You're All Adults]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172184983m/147224.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172184983s/147224.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147224.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_Talking_to_Your_Parents_Partner_Sibs_and_Kids_When_You_re_All_Adults 3.86 14 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 3 0 false Tue May 13 00:00:00 -0700 2008 Tue May 13 18:57:24 -0700 2008 Tue May 13 19:01:51 -0700 2008 12387144 731369 147224 0345407520 9780345407528 3 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You're All Adults]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172184983m/147224.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172184983s/147224.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147224.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_Talking_to_Your_Parents_Partner_Sibs_and_Kids_When_You_re_All_Adults 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 2 0 false Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 -0800 2004 Sun Jan 13 05:34:26 -0800 2008 Sat Feb 16 14:44:11 -0800 2008 Umm, It was ok.]]> 26839014 1199994 147224 0345407520 9780345407528 3 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You're All Adults]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172184983m/147224.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172184983s/147224.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147224.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_Talking_to_Your_Parents_Partner_Sibs_and_Kids_When_You_re_All_Adults 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 4 0 false Tue Jul 01 00:00:00 -0700 2008 Thu Jul 10 06:23:11 -0700 2008 Thu Jul 10 06:54:58 -0700 2008 81995250 3072676 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 0 0 false Fri Dec 25 02:31:52 -0800 2009 Fri Dec 25 02:31:52 -0800 2009 81991612 3072676 147224 0345407520 9780345407528 3 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You're All Adults]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172184983m/147224.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172184983s/147224.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147224.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_Talking_to_Your_Parents_Partner_Sibs_and_Kids_When_You_re_All_Adults 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 0 0 false Fri Dec 25 00:13:35 -0800 2009 Fri Dec 25 00:13:35 -0800 2009 81958883 927419 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 0 0 false Thu Dec 24 11:47:01 -0800 2009 Thu Dec 24 11:47:01 -0800 2009 81577898 1647351 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 3 0 false Thu Jan 01 00:00:00 -0800 2004 Sun Dec 20 12:18:29 -0800 2009 Sun Dec 20 12:18:58 -0800 2009 81396503 2481344 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 4 0 false Fri Dec 18 09:20:14 -0800 2009 Fri Dec 18 09:20:18 -0800 2009 81275868 2611644 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 0 0 false Thu Dec 17 02:59:20 -0800 2009 Thu Dec 17 02:59:58 -0800 2009 80724982 2966640 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 4 0 false Fri Dec 11 21:03:40 -0800 2009 Fri Dec 11 21:03:40 -0800 2009 80500623 2456513 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 4 0 false Wed Dec 09 21:51:07 -0800 2009 Wed Dec 09 21:51:18 -0800 2009 79837793 1852724 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 0 0 false Thu Dec 03 22:22:23 -0800 2009 Thu Dec 03 22:22:26 -0800 2009 79650549 627570 147233 0679456015 9780679456018 6 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You: How the Way We Talk Can Make or Break Family Relationships Throughout Our Lives]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007m/147233.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185007s/147233.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147233.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You_How_the_Way_We_Talk_Can_Make_or_Break_Family_Relationships_Throughout_Our_Lives 3.71 65 You Just Don't Understand and many other books, reveals why talking to family members is so often painful and problematic even when we're all adults. Searching for signs of acceptance and belonging, we find signs of disapproval and rejection. Why do the seeds of family love so often yield a harvest of criticism and judgment? In I Only Say This Because I Love You, Tannen shows how important it is, in family talk, to learn to separate word meanings, or messages, from heart meanings, or metamessages — unstated but powerful meanings that come from the history of our relationships and the way things are said. Presenting real conversations from people's lives, Tannen reveals what is actually going on in family talk, including how family conversations must balance the longing for connection with the desire for control, as we struggle to be close without giving up our freedom.

This eye-opening book explains why grown women so often feel criticized by their mothers; and why mothers feel they can't open their mouths around their grown daughters; why growing up male or female, or as an older or younger sibling, results in different experiences of family that persist throughout our lives; and much, much more. By helping us to understand and redefine family talk, Tannen provides the tools to improve relationships with family members of every age.]]> 2001 4 0 false Wed Dec 02 10:20:19 -0800 2009 Wed Dec 02 10:20:29 -0800 2009 79620701 3001024 147238 1860498558 9781860498558 0 <![CDATA[I Only Say This Because I Love You]]> http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185019m/147238.jpg http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1172185019s/147238.jpg http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/147238.I_Only_Say_This_Because_I_Love_You 3.67 3 I Only Say This Because I Love You is aimed mostly at adult family interactions. Professor Deborah Tannen, the popular author of You Just Don't Understand, uses anecdotes filled with dialogues to illustrate why we hear criticism when the other person meant to convey caring, how family members create alignments with secrets and broken confidences, the dynamics of arguments, the power of apologies, gender patterns in family talk, and communication with teens. You're bound to recognize your family members--and yourself!--in Tannen's examples.

You won't find quick, easy answers for improving communication in your family, but you will discover another dimension of understanding what's really going on. Now if you could just get your mother to read the book! --Joan Price

]]> 2001 4 0 false Wed Dec 02 03:57:24 -0800 2009 Wed Dec 02 03:57:24 -0800 2009 8 http://www.goodreads.com/book_link/follow/8?book_id=147233