Hikikomori and the Rental Sister

Apr 08, 2013 Izm-i rated it 1 of 5 stars

You just see 'The ultimate male fantasy' being fulfilled in this Haruki Murakami-esque --only superficially, though--tale, which reminded me instantly of another half done and shallow work that came out a decade ago--Jiro Adachi's YA (ish?) novel--island of Bycicle something. I can't remember the title exactly except that the novel also made me barf for its male fantasy imposed upon the same kind of cardboard cut out kind of Asian tourist female figure--she was also set as Half Korean in the nov...more

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Jan 28, 2013 Gaele rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: independent-reviw, review-reads, net-galley

Retreating in grief and hiding to lick your wounds is not an uncommon phenomenon, but when that retreat progresses to an unhealthy isolation and can last for years, who are you indulging, and who is indulging you in your retreat from life. Just one of the several questions brought forward on the reading of this book. First I needed to check several sources to get the best feeling for a very Japanese idea that does not always translate well. Hikkomori: the closing off of oneself from the outside...more Retreating in grief and hiding to lick your wounds is not an uncommon phenomenon, but when that retreat progresses to an unhealthy isolation and can last for years, who are you indulging, and who is indulging you in your retreat from life. Just one of the several questions brought forward on the reading of this book. First I needed to check several sources to get the best feeling for a very Japanese idea that does not always translate well. Hikkomori: the closing off of oneself from the outside world, denying interaction with others, hiding where it’s safe. Of course, to properly practice this retreat, one needs to have someone who is supportive, who wants to listen, and who patiently will ‘wait the phase out’. As Silke has reached the end of her patience and ideas to help heal, she brings in a woman who, with her newness and strangeness may be able to reach and heal Thomas, or relieve him of some of the heaviness.

In a lyrically written piece, the author is not asking us to understand Thomas’ retreat, nor is he asking for forgiveness, but simply stating what is, as It happened, in all the odd permutations of this triad so desperate for healing. Intensely personal in feeling, the grief and guilt that Thomas carries within are palpable, and in a strange way, beautiful in its richness and detail. The three all need some form of healing and forgiveness, perhaps mostly from themselves, but the depths to which Thomas has sunk in his isolation, and the guilt Silke feels for letting it progress to such a degree are not instantly solved, but slowly eroded in little bits. With a very interesting, and at times puzzling, juxtaposition of the dual cultural approaches presented, and the author’s facile handling of the story that never runs to overt pathos, this is a gripping read that is intense in both the story and the thoughts it leaves behind.

I received an eBook copy from Publisher through NetGalley. I was not compensated for this review, and all conclusions are my own responsibility.
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Jan 20, 2013 Andrew rated it 3 of 5 stars

A colleague rightly pointed out that this intriguing read is in the style of Murakami and Ishiguro: elegantly crafted prose that may still only have a limited audience. Thomas Tessler has, in response to a family tragedy, withdrawn into his room for three years. Through a local Japanese bakery, Thomas' wife comes to recognize his plight, apparently common in Japan, as requiring a particular response. She hires Megumi, a young Japanese woman grappling with her own emotional pain, to help her husb...more

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Jan 17, 2013 Beverly rated it 3 of 5 stars

This was a 3+ read for me.

Hikikomori and the Rental Sister paints a graceful portrait of individuals traumatized by grief and unhinged by guilt. Thomas Tessler was happy with his life until the death of his young son three years ago. Needing just one day to be alone with his grief turns into three years of living within himself behind the dead bolt of his room. Thomas is “hikikomori” – a Japanese phenomenon of complete social withdrawal by turning inwardly and isolating one’s self. Silke, Thomas...more

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Dec 29, 2012 Rebecca Holland rated it 4 of 5 stars

Jeff Backhaus: Hikiomori and the Rental Sister. Algonquin Books of Chapel Hill, 978-1-61620-137-1

Hikikormori means that one "literally pulls inward, and refers to those who withdraw from society." There is a real-life Japanese social phenomenon called this, and there are professional 'rental sisters' who are hired to help. And it is a bit .. well ... unusual.

This is Backhaus' first try at a novel, and he should be given applause for taking what could have been a long-winded tale of fiction base...more

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Jan 29, 2013 Larry Hoffer rated it 3 of 5 stars

I'd rate this book 3.5 stars.

Sometimes when we feel most alone, we don't realize that there are others who feel the same exact way, perhaps for different reasons or manifested differently.

It has been three years since Thomas Tessler has truly faced the world. Wracked with grief and immense guilt following the tragic death of his young son, Thomas has locked himself in his bedroom, only leaving to shop for groceries at a convenience store in the middle of the night. While he lives in the same apa...more I'd rate this book 3.5 stars.

Sometimes when we feel most alone, we don't realize that there are others who feel the same exact way, perhaps for different reasons or manifested differently.

It has been three years since Thomas Tessler has truly faced the world. Wracked with grief and immense guilt following the tragic death of his young son, Thomas has locked himself in his bedroom, only leaving to shop for groceries at a convenience store in the middle of the night. While he lives in the same apartment as his wife, Silke, he never speaks to her, never acknowledges her many efforts to cook him meals, bring him things, or simply let her know how he is feeling. He is hikikomori, the Japanese word for a person who withdraws, a total social recluse.

Desperate to get her husband back, Silke hires Megumi, a young Japanese woman who knows the hikikomori phenomenon all too well, as it consumed her brother's life back in Japan. Reluctantly, Megumi agrees to work as a "rental sister" for Thomas and Silke, to try and encourage Thomas to come back into the real world again. Megumi's life is fairly unsatisfying, filled with nights spent drinking in bars with her friends, sleeping with random men to try and help her feel something. As she tries to get Thomas to acknowledge her, to speak to her, she finds herself drawn to him in inexplicable ways as he helps fill the emotional void her brother left behind.

Megumi and Thomas' relationship progresses, and threatens to shut Silke out entirely. But Thomas doesn't know exactly what he wants. Can a person who has allowed himself to be so isolated from people, from feelings for so long actually be equipped to feel again, to communicate? This is a fascinating book about how immobilizing grief and loneliness are, yet how comforting isolation can be. It's a story about trying to move on when you don't want to let go of your hurt and guilt, and how sometimes it takes a person who knows completely how you feel to help you take tentative steps toward moving on.

"No matter how big we try to make our world, in the end it's just ourselves. We follow ourselves around everywhere."

I wasn't quite sure what to expect from this book as the story unfolded. This book is as much about Megumi as it is about Thomas, and she is a much more complex and complicated character than he is, yet that complexity left me somewhat uncertain about whether she was a sympathetic character or someone to pity or dislike. But Jeff Backhaus did a very good job of gradually peeling back the layers of her personality, so you're not quite sure how you want the story to resolve itself. Much as in the book itself, I felt Silke was more in the background, so it was difficult to understand some of her actions and motivations.

This is a beautifully written meditation on grief, loneliness, and the nourishment of companionship. While the story engages you throughout, it's not always as compelling as it should be, but Backhaus keeps you wondering what will become of his characters. Unique, sometimes spare, but lyrical. (less)

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Jan 12, 2013 Chihoe Ho rated it 4 of 5 stars

"Hikikomori" is a social phenomenon where individuals acutely withdraw from society and lead a solitary life within the confines of their own home. It is recognized by the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare in definable terms, and has such a rippling effect on those connected to hikikomoris, and on the fabric of Japanese society, that there are professionals who work towards helping such recluses out of their isolation.

Jeff Backhaus writes of a hikikomori living in New York. Thomas...more "Hikikomori" is a social phenomenon where individuals acutely withdraw from society and lead a solitary life within the confines of their own home. It is recognized by the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labour and Welfare in definable terms, and has such a rippling effect on those connected to hikikomoris, and on the fabric of Japanese society, that there are professionals who work towards helping such recluses out of their isolation.

Jeff Backhaus writes of a hikikomori living in New York. Thomas has shut himself in his bedroom away from the world for 3 years, only venturing out in the cover of night once in a while to stock up on food. His wife, Silke, is almost at her breaking point - she's just as lost as Thomas is, and in addition, is desperate to get the man she loves back. She hires Megumi, an immigrant from Japan as a "rental sister" as a last-ditch attempt to help coax Thomas out of his room.

"Hikikomori and the Rental Sister" unfolds in three acts: The Isolation, The Contact, and The Aftermath. Each act reveals something more of Thomas, Megumi, and Silke, and the circumstances that they have found themselves in. The matters and progression of the story can be tough to take at parts but they are handled in a very delicate manner as to not overwhelm or understate their importance. The unpredictable narrative goes back and forth between a first-person voice of Thomas, to a third-person mode accounting mostly Megumi's side of the story. This alternation was jarring initially, but it became quite the smart way to juxtapose the inner thoughts of the hermit and the characters' dealings in the external world.

Backhaus, with his experience working in Korea, seems to have a respectable understanding of the Japanese and Korean culture and society, and puts it to good use in his forthright portrayals of them. Even though the novel is set in the western world, it invoked an eastern air, and for most of the novel, I kept having to remind myself that the story wasn't set in Asia but in North America. This made it reminiscent to Haruki Murakami's novels, where they are mostly set in Japan but have a western tone to them. I'm a fan of Murakami, so I took a liking to Backhaus' style as well, and with a topic being something I've never heard or read of till now, "Hikikomori and the Rental Sister" is refreshingly intriguing and is a remarkable debut from Jeff Backhaus.(less)

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May 01, 2013 Dia rated it 4 of 5 stars

Read other book reviews at Book Junkie Joint.

A poignant tale of loss, depression, dedication, faith, healing and love.

The Japanese term "Hikikomori" means acute social withdrawal. It refers to the phenomenon of reclusive adolescents or young adults who withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement. (source: Wikipedia)

In Japan, this is a common enough phenomenon, but in other countries, it has yet to be identified and addressed. Since I have a fascination...more Read other book reviews at Book Junkie Joint.

A poignant tale of loss, depression, dedication, faith, healing and love.

The Japanese term "Hikikomori" means acute social withdrawal. It refers to the phenomenon of reclusive adolescents or young adults who withdraw from social life, often seeking extreme degrees of isolation and confinement. (source: Wikipedia)

In Japan, this is a common enough phenomenon, but in other countries, it has yet to be identified and addressed. Since I have a fascination with the Japanese culture, I requested to read and review this book. Thankfully, I was approved.

In Jeff Backhaus' Hikikomori and the Rental Sister, we meet Thomas, an American hikikomori who has lived in isolation in his room for three years. Even his wife, Silke, couldn't get him to come out, so she engaged the help of Megumi, a Japanese immigrant who once had a brother who was also a hikikomori.

First off, I love how Thomas' mind worked. His different level of thinking was poetically depicted in the novel and I really liked it. There was also contrast as to Thomas' trail of thoughts at the beginning of the book and at the end, which really showed just how much change he went through.

The thing is, different people have different ways of coping with grief. It just so happened that Thomas dealt with his grief through isolation. Or perhaps, in creating his own world outside the norms of society. And this was thoroughly depicted in this novel, which I found really unique.

As for the relationship between Megumi and Thomas, while I disapprove of the intimate relationship they share (cheating is cheating no matter how much you justify it), I understand why it happened. It was like they were two broken people who found solace in each other. They didn't need to be fixed, they needed to be understood and cared for.

Another interesting comparison I found was between Megumi and Thomas. Yes, I found that they were two broken people with lots of issues, but while Thomas stayed isolated, Megumi remained active in society. The novel showed the contrasting coping mechanisms they used to deal with their problems. Thomas escaped by isolation, Megumi escaped entirely to a new country.

I also appreciate Silke, Thomas' wife, for her dedication and patience, even when Thomas hardly ever responded to her. She loved him deeply and stuck it out for him even in the worst of circumstances, that's why I felt vindicated by the end of the story.

For me, the most beautiful part of the story would be the end. It wasn't as grand as most happy endings were, but it was bittersweet. It made me feel like looking back at everything that happened, I would just smile despite the tragedy and loss.
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Feb 14, 2013 Stephanie rated it 2 of 5 stars

Backhaus takes a Japanese social phenomenon, hikikimori, where a young man withdraws from society and becomes a recluse, and transplants it to New York. Thomas Tessler has sequestered himself for the past three years in the spare bedroom in the apartment he shares with his wife, Silke, as he grieves the death of their young son. Silke, who apparently has been able to carry on -- Thomas hears her heels clicking across the floor when she "returns after a hard day at the skyscraper office" -- hires...more

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Mar 12, 2013 Megan rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: look-at-me-im-reading-grown-up-book

After reading lots of YA and kids stuff, which I love, it was not too bad to get into bed with a grown up book. This is an odd story. Really odd. Man loses young son and locks himself in the bedroom for 3 years. Odder yet is that his wife sticks around cooking dinner for herself and talking to him through the door. At times she's shouting, at times she's bringing home a tumble buddy to try and make him jealous enough to come out and fight for her. Apparantly, in Asian cultures, people with agoro...more

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Jan 23, 2013 Pat rated it 4 of 5 stars

Jeff Backhaus has crafted a unique story around "hikikomori," the Japanese word for someone who completely withdraws from the world by isolating himself physically and emotionally. The world of Thomas and Silke Tessler changed forever when their only child was hit and killed by a car while Thomas was caring for him. Thomas' subsequent guilt and grief resulted in a self-imposed exile in a dead-bolted room within their home. Megumi, a young Japanese immigrant dealing with her own challenges, is th...more

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Jul 08, 2012 Deborah Gray rated it 5 of 5 stars

I am in literary heaven lately. I have had the joy of reading such transcendent books that they all deserve the highest accolades, and this one is no exception.

Hikikomori is the name in Japan for a person who retreats from the world after a tragedy. In this case, Thomas and his wife live in New York and lost their young son in an instant to what was considered an unavoidable accident, but Thomas blames himself and has stayed cloistered in his small room for three years. His wife, Silke, has tri...more

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Jan 30, 2013 Shay (Shannon) rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: librarything

4 Stars
hikikomori, n hikika’mouri; literally pulling inward; refers to those who withdraw from society.---Taken from the back of the book.
Thomas, an American, has withdrawn from life. He will not leave his room and barely speaks to his wife who stays by his side and still fights for what once was. Megumi, a Japanese immigrant, has run to America to forget her traumatic past and finds herself hired by Thomas’ wife to be his rental sister. Thomas and Megumi slowly form a bond in his room that prov...more

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Jan 25, 2013 Hattie Norman rated it 5 of 5 stars

Thomas and his wife, Silke, have lived through a family tragedy no one wants to ever go through in life. Thomas and Silke's son dies at an early age while crossing the street. Silke and Thomas deal with the painful loss in different ways. Silke strives to go on with a normal life while Thomas totally withdraws to a room in their house. He only makes appearances at night to pick up something needed from the store. He is the only one in the room so he isn't making conversation with anyone. His onl...more Thomas and his wife, Silke, have lived through a family tragedy no one wants to ever go through in life. Thomas and Silke's son dies at an early age while crossing the street. Silke and Thomas deal with the painful loss in different ways. Silke strives to go on with a normal life while Thomas totally withdraws to a room in their house. He only makes appearances at night to pick up something needed from the store. He is the only one in the room so he isn't making conversation with anyone. His only conversation happens when his wife comes to his door. He doesn't let her inside the room. He mumbles back to her through the door. The novel is about loss and recovery. The novel is beautifully written. I often thought of a Japanese garden which I think would be totally peaceful. Quiet enough for people to reach inside of themselves and find good and bad character treasures.

Silke is just as soft as her name. She loves Thomas and gives him the space he needs to deal with his sadness. He blames himself for the death of their son. She make one big attempt to help him get out of the room and back to normalcy. She hires a Japanese and Korean lady who will try and reach Thomas. This means make him open the door and communicate his sorrows to another person. Rental Sister's name is Megumi. She also isn't pushy. Making me think the author JEFF BACKHAUS might be making the point that moving from emotional pain to acceptance of a horrible incident can never be rushed or agressively forced upon the person who is dealing with a monumental tragedy. So all the characters or most of the main characters seem to display this quiet spirit wanting the person to heal but not pushing their healing upon them.

I waited anxiously to see whether Thomas would ever open the door to Megumi, and if he did open the door, what would happen next? What in the world would Megumi say to this sad man? Ultimately without telling the whole novel I discovered why Megumi is the perfect person to help Thomas. Throughout the novel, the author explains the Japanese and Korean culture. For example, one day Megumi says to Thomas "In America they say that birds sing....But in Korea they say that birds cry. Do yo know why?"

The fact that Thomas has always kept a journal titled "My life through scars" really fascinated me. I had never heard of anyone keeping such a personal book. In this book he had written and described all of his physical scars. I couldn't help but think about our soldiers overseas. If they had the chance to write about a battle, would it help to write about the lost arm or the horrible bruise on the face? I think this is a wonderful idea for people who live through fires and car crashes. Even little children might find some comfort in writing about a bloody knee or a broken arm or how it felt to fall from their Tree house. I remember falling off my green tricycle. I had a huge bloody injury on my knee. When it scabbed over it was twice as ugly. Plus, I lost my privledge to ride fast from the top of the hill and try to make a turn in a split second before just riding out in to the street. What if I had written down my feelings about that fall. It certainly traumatized my parents and me.

In Hikikomori and the Rental Sister, Jeff Backhaus gave me so much to run over in my mind. Here is another one of his thoughts. "A heart can love twice. Two strangers in an earthquake. Trapped, they share the same black, dusty space. They nourish each..." I closed the novel thinking Jeff Backhaus must be an amazing speaker. To hear him speak the thoughts he wrote in the novel would feel like a gift to me. Listen to what Thomas says about his withdrawal from the world.

"It never felt like I was shutting out the world. More like my world had simply gotten smaller."Then, the author's thought about guilt. That heavy weight which loads all people down at one time or another. "My guilt is met with endless indifference, endless silence."jeffbackhaus(less)

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Feb 10, 2013 Sharon Mcalister rated it 4 of 5 stars

This is a fascinating story. Hikikomori is the act of withdrawing from life. In this book our lead character,
Thomas, has locked himself in his bedroom and has no interactions with his wife or others known to him. He blames himself for his young son's death while in his care. He leaves the room only in the middle of the night to purchase supplies. Silke, his wife, has tolerated this for three years. Desperate, she hires Megumi, a young Japanese woman who has experience with hikikomori to befriend...more

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May 01, 2013 Diane rated it 4 of 5 stars

Hikikomori and the Rental Sister, is a very different story. If some of you are like me and not familiar with the phenomenon of "hikikomori", it's something that is kind of common in Japan. The "hikikomori" tend to be mostly men, who retreat in isolation either to their rooms or someplace else where they do not have to engage with others in the world around them. In the US we would probably think about someone in this situation as severely depressed and in need of "electro-shock treatments. In J...more Hikikomori and the Rental Sister, is a very different story. If some of you are like me and not familiar with the phenomenon of "hikikomori", it's something that is kind of common in Japan. The "hikikomori" tend to be mostly men, who retreat in isolation either to their rooms or someplace else where they do not have to engage with others in the world around them. In the US we would probably think about someone in this situation as severely depressed and in need of "electro-shock treatments. In Japan, however, they look to the "rental sister" as a last hope for bringing a person out of their self-imposed isolation to function as they once had.

In this novel there are actually (3) damaged individuals who we are introduced to. Thomas and Silke Tessler are husband and wife, and Megumi is the "rental sister" in the title who has recently arrived from Japan.

Thomas, the "hikikomori" of the story, has retreated to his locked room for over (3) years, ever since his young son who he was caring for, ran out into traffic and was killed. Devastated by this and carrying a huge amount of guilt ever since, what started out as grieving in private, resulted in shutting himself off from the world and even his own wife. He only leaves his room when he is sure most of the world, including his wife who sleeps next door, is asleep, and ventures out for food and supplies he will need. By day he goes over and over the events leading up to his young son's death. He keeps a journal which he calls "My Life Through Scars, where he writes his deepest feelings. Silke is desperate and has been trying to communicate with him verbally and with notes, but nothing has worked, so she hires Megumi to help even though she is aware of the risk. Megumi is a young women, also damaged, who experienced the phenomenon first hand with her own brother. Her job is establish a relationship of trust and even intimacy if necessary.

The novel is so different. On the one hand it was fascinating leaning about this Japanese phenomenon, and the writing is really beautiful. It's fewer than 300 pages and just (6) discs/ (6) hours for the audio version. It's read by Scott Bowlby who did a very good job, but it took me a long time to finish this one. It's a quiet story that that held my interest, yet for some reason I never felt bad for Thomas. I warmed up to the two women and their personal heartaches, but Thomas left me feeling unmoved. I also found it strange that the story took place in NYC instead of Japan, but for whatever reason, it worked.

Readers looking for something a bit different should enjoy this book. (less)

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Nov 09, 2012 Heather rated it 4 of 5 stars

I have not read Hikikomori and the Rental Sister before. Anywhere. Jeff Backhaus has written something I haven't read before. Not just because this is his debut. Backhauus has created something fresh and relevant through his story of a man who has become a hikikomori after the death of his young son. As defined from wired.com, "Hikikomori literally means “withdrawal” in Japanese and is used both as a noun and as an adjective. Though there are differing opinions as to the precise nature of hikiko...more

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Mar 23, 2013 Rose Mary Achey rated it 3 of 5 stars

Hikikomori is the practice of withdrawing from society. Typically Japanese adolescents and young men withdraw and live in a single room, often in their childhood homes. Rental sisters are often young women who are sent to counsel the Hikikomori and ease them out of their rooms and back into society. Women or “sisters” have been found more successful than males in working with the Hikikomori.

Author Backhaus introduces us to a married man in New York who has been shut in his room for the past thr...more

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Aug 17, 2012 Natalie E. Ramm rated it 4 of 5 stars

“Hikikomori” is the Japanese term for shutting oneself in, away from the world. In Hikikomori and the Rental Sister, Thomas Tressler and his wife, Silke, lost a son. Thomas blames himself and shuts himself in his room for three years. His wife has had enough. She has tried everything to get him to come out, even having sex with other men within earshot.

She hires Megumi as a “rental sister,” which is a person who coaxes the shut-in out of their isolation through various methods, but mostly throug...more

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May 14, 2013 Jillian rated it 3 of 5 stars

"Jeff Backhaus makes a valiant attempt at conquering the nearly impregnable fortress that is grief (I’m sorry, but I’m still reading Jordan’s Wheel of Time series, so fortresses and conquest have taken over my mind. Just wait until Game of Thrones is back on the air.), and he is mostly successful. The grief of a parent having lost his child is unimaginable, and it drives Backhaus’s protagonist Thomas Tessler into hiding–a particular type of hiding called Hikikomori. Thomas burrows away in his ro...more

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Apr 30, 2013 Lisa rated it 1 of 5 stars Recommends it for: no one

Recommended to Lisa by: found excerpt somewhere online

Shelves: asia, fiction

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. SPOILER ALERT!

I thought I'd enjoy this book, but could force myself to read it but so far. Early on, I found some aspects disingenuous, but tried to keep an open mind. After all, I'd initially found the book by reading a teaser chapter (from the middle), set in Asia, that seemed promising, and I assumed it would improvd. Plus, I was reading while commuting, alternating my focus between this book and work-related material; in retrospect, I realize had tried reading this in more concentrated spurt...more

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Feb 01, 2013 Cathy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Jeff Backhaus tells a profoundly moving story in his powerful novel Hikikomori and the Rental Sister. Devastated by tragedy, Thomas has withdrawn from the world - confining himself to a locked room in his apartment, slipping out late at night to pick up groceries at a nearby store. He refuses to see his wife Silke who waits in misery on the other side of that door having exhausted every means she can think of to bring him back. In desperation, Silke hires Megumi - a young Japanese immigrant who...more

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Feb 23, 2013 Todd Hurley rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I would have to say that this book shattered any expectations I had for it. It is an excellent read, as well as being beautifully written. The story concerns Thomas, an American man living in New York city, is devastated by the death of his very young son and has barricaded himself in his room for three years. His wife, Silke, is desperate and seeks out the only help she can find to get Thomas out of his room. The help comes in the form of a small, young Japanese woman called Megumi. She has the...more

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Jan 15, 2013 Kaye rated it 5 of 5 stars

Hikikomon and the rental Sister explore a fascinating cultural phenomenon of hikikomori. Found to be unique to Japan, a million young people, mostly male, withdraw from the world. Most do not leave their rooms. Some will roam only at night. Many live in their bedrooms for years. Yet, this hikikomori is American, and he lives in New York City.

His wife elects to bring in a ‘rental sister’ seeking to help her husband using a traditional Japanese cure. Both women can see the sadness within Thomas....more

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May 08, 2013 Donovan Richards rated it 5 of 5 stars

Etymologically Speaking

Etymologically speaking, agoraphobia stands for a “fear of the marketplace.” By definition, the marketplace is a crowded, expansive, and anxiety-inducing space. Everyone goes to the market. We all have daily needs; a centralized space answers to those needs; we all frequent these spaces as a result.

Conceptually, I understand agoraphobia. If you feel as if the world is a burden and you are unsure of how to interact socially, why go outside? Why even try?

Perhaps, there’s som...more

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Mar 05, 2013 Jborghi rated it 1 of 5 stars

This is a novel about a very intimate and very private sort of conflict. The main character, and sometimes narrator, Tom has retreated into his room following a tragedy- his relationship with his wife is strained to the point that she is willing to try anything to get him to rejoin the rest of his life. Enter Megumi, whose history allows her a unique perspective on what has happened to Tom and how to help him.[return][return]This is also a relationship with a surprising lack of conflict. For a n...more

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May 11, 2013 Mike Bell rated it 4 of 5 stars

Without giving much away, the tale of the American shut-in hits close to home in a very real way that only fellow Japanophiles and anime/gamer nerds can relate to if they have gone through the trouble of attempting to understand another culture while simultaneously having to deal with painful realities that plague otherwise dreamy fantasy, searching for themselves in a gilded cage of inspiration. It offers a form of bittersweet hope that stories like Welcome To The NHK present. The tragedy of th...more

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Dec 07, 2012 Janis rated it 2 of 5 stars

This novel is about social withdrawal (hikikomori is a Japanese term referring to those who choose extreme isolation). The hikikomori in this story is an American man who retreats to his room, only sneaking out late at night to buy food. His wife hires a “rental sister” – in Japan, these outreach counselors sometimes succeed in bringing the isolated one back into the world – and their relationship forms the backbone of the story. Though I found the premise interesting, I felt that the groundwork...more

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Apr 04, 2013 Marisa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Sometimes it's hard to explain what makes you gravitate toward one book and not another, what exactly it is that keeps you riveted to the page. I couldn't put this one down. The story included a cultural twist on one that has been written many times before. Like 'kanashibari', the Japanese have their own terms and ways of dealing with the same phenomena that exist everywhere, and I think it was the meshing of cultures here that kept me intrigued. No real surprises here, and at moments I had to s...more

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Jan 28, 2013 Lindsay Deutsch rated it 4 of 5 stars

They enter their rooms and do not come out, sometimes for decades. Withdrawn from social interactions, they live in almost complete isolation from the outside world. They are hikikomori.
It's part of a growing social phenomenon especially prevalent with young men in Japan.
But in Jeff Backhaus' debut novel, "hikikomori" comes to the USA. In this quiet but poignant exploration of loneliness and self-discovery, it's a New Yorker who is a hikikomori. And a Japanese woman who must help.
After his young...more They enter their rooms and do not come out, sometimes for decades. Withdrawn from social interactions, they live in almost complete isolation from the outside world. They are hikikomori.
It's part of a growing social phenomenon especially prevalent with young men in Japan.
But in Jeff Backhaus' debut novel, "hikikomori" comes to the USA. In this quiet but poignant exploration of loneliness and self-discovery, it's a New Yorker who is a hikikomori. And a Japanese woman who must help.
After his young son dies in an accident he perceives as his fault, Thomas Tessler isolates himself for almost three years, retreating to a spare bedroom in his apartment, installing a dead bolt, shutting out his mourning wife Silke and their life together.
Hopeless, Silke hires another woman, a "rental sister," Megumi, to lure Thomas back into the real world. A Japanese immigrant living uncomfortably in New York, Megumi has her own traumatic experience with a hikikomori that makes her both uniquely qualified for and reluctant to take the job.
"I never heard of an American hikikomori. Americans don't get quieter, they get louder. They go crazy and start shooting everyone," Megumi muses. And Thomas finally lets her in.
What results is a quiet triangle of loss, guilt and profound loneliness as Silke and Megumi tiptoe around each other, testing the boundaries of their roles, then breaking them. Megumi and Thomas become closer – intimate – as they try to re-enter society. Silke, who at first tacitly accepts the relationship, slowly reaches her breaking point.
The chapters alternate perspectives, with poetic observations about the world from the view of an outsider - the outsider in a marriage, the outsider in a relationship, and Thomas, who feels like an outsider in his own life.
In the end, Thomas must choose between his naked, honest relationship with Megumi, and his once comfortable life with his loyal wife. And the reader must accept his decision, regardless of the heartbreak it leaves in its wake.
(Posted on usatoday.com)(less)

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BBCode	[url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14568991-hikikomori-and-the-rental-sister?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book][img]http://d.gr-assets.com/books/1339255693l/14568991.jpg[/img][/url] [url=http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/14568991-hikikomori-and-the-rental-sister?utm_medium=api&utm_source=blog_book]Hikikomori and the Rental Sister by Jeff Backhaus[/url]

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