I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats
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I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats

3.94 of 5 stars 3.94  ·  rating details  ·  3,694 ratings  ·  644 reviews
Cat lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of housecats. In this hilarious book of tongue-in-cheek poetry, the author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles...more
Hardcover, 112 pages
Published August 15th 2012 by Chronicle Books (first published 2012)
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Dewey by Vicki MyronThe Cat in the Hat by Dr. SeussOld Possum's Book of Practical Cats by T.S. EliotAlice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis CarrollInto the Wild by Erin Hunter
Great "Cat" Books
27th out of 887 books — 404 voters
Life is a Circus Run by a Platypus by Allison HawnPhantom Bigfoot Strikes Again by Simon OkillNobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe by Simon OkillMilk, Turkey, and Neurosis by Grace Anne FeldmanDo Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick
Odd Titles
10th out of 171 books — 126 voters

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Community Reviews

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another stupid book i feel i need to own! i saw this one at BEA, but they didn't have any free copies because they knew i would buy it eventually - they knew! so i glumly accepted my promotional postcard, and waited for it to come out, and here we are.

i am glum no longer!! it is cats!! writing poems!! real cats!! with pictures of cats!! this calls to me like candy!! i exclaim!!

some of the cats are better at writing poems than others, to be sure, and they are written in a variety of forms, showi...more
Jason Koivu
This really makes you think...and wanna smoosh fuzzy faces!!! Yes, these cat-penned poems are structurally unsound (The iambic pentameter is a mess!), but oh how ADORABLE! You really have to be quite impressed with their mastery of the English language, and did they dictate these or can they type as well? Oh the SQUEEE of it all!!!

Though perhaps this collection poses more questions than answers, it is thoroughly enjoyable. I mean, to see into the inner thoughts of a feline and really feel their...more







And yet, somehow I am still a cat person.
This book

You can't eat it.
You can't kill it.
You can't tear it to pieces.
So what's all the fuss about?
Wake me when you've figured it out.
I read this book to my three cats and a guest cat. Here are their (mostly) unsolicited comments.

"T. S Eliot, eat yer heart out." - Maslow the Wonder Cat

"A book of great social relevance...because I peed on it." - Ashley

"The book needs more poems and less fur" - Mojo Jojo the Sphinx

"Screw the book. Where's dinner?" - Fanci

This is a very funny book with poems by very talented cats, who actually know how to spell. Each poem catches a particular feline nuance that will be instantly recognizable to t...more
Review written by Hester's cat Molly:

WHAT ARE YOU READING? WHY AREN'T YOU STARING AT ME? Maybe if I get between you and that book you'll look at me instead. Why are you laughing. I didn't do anything funny? Go clean my litter box or I'll poop next to it again. Oops I already did. I guess I'll just go over here and lick myself. I'll try to get between you and the book again. I want attention, I want attention, I want attention. Did I scratch you? Well, good, you deserved it.

Oh you're done? YAY! S...more
After some debate, I think my favorite thing about I Could Pee on This is the way it’s cat-sized.

Unlike heavy “people” books, which delicate felines might have trouble grasping in their paws, this poetry collection is petite and dainty.

Just like kitty.

Honestly I don’t know I would pay $12.95 U.S. for the pleasure of reading the inner musings of my cat’s mind, even cast down as it is in brilliant punctuation-free print, but it was still hysterically fun to look through.

The assembled cat poets w...more
Suck on that, Baudelaire. Now this is what I call real, heartfelt poetry. Cats had the need of explaining themselves, of sharing their thoughts and feelings through these amazing poems. Outstanding work, honestly.
One of my favorites was:

Why are you screaming?
What did I do wrong?
Why are you crying?
How can I make it right?
Would you like it in a different color?
Would you like it in a different size?
Would you like it in a different room?
I just wanted to show my love
I just wan
Cat lovers shouldn’t miss this little gem—hysterical and wise short poems recited by the ever-cool cat. Calling it a “fast read” is an understatement—it will take you all of 15 minutes, at most, to read it. Well, you might stop to savor some of the poems a little longer, but it’s still over way before you want it to be. And you will laugh, even if you’re having a bad day.

The aloof but dear, brilliant creatures tell us all about their adventures with toys and why they end up tearing the house apa...more
Victoria Austin
I originally picked up the book I Could Pee On This, and other poems by cats simply because of the name. A book of poems penned (or rather pawed) by cats- what's not to love? At times devious, a dash evil but ultimately sweet and hilarious Marciuliano deftly uses poetry to explain often inexpiable feline behavior. These charming verses (and adorable kitty pictures in a cat sized book) will melt even the most jaded of hearts. One of my favorites was Forever

I could lie by your side for the rest of...more
When I added this to my library, I commented on the update...I bought this today because I couldn't stop laughing when I looked at it in the store :)

It was a good decision because the laughter didn't stop when I got it home. This collection of poems is funny, sweet, and so very accurate when it comes to describing the behavior of cats.

No need to introduce this. It's exactly what it says it is: a book of poems "written" by cats. Divided into four simple chapters (Family, Work, Play, Existence), this adorable work also has gorgeous pictures of cats big and small throughout. Having officially been owned by a cat for just about a year now (and unofficially for a few more than that), I think this little book is just super-cute and captures the feline spirit of love and destruction quite well.

My favorite poem is probably "Closed Do...more
Isa Lavinia

...cats are assholes.
Nemo (the Moonlight Library)
See this review and more on The Moonlight Library!

This little book of poetry delighted me. I mean, it's written by cats! How awesome is that? We are treated to such gems as 'I Lick Your Nose,' 'Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs' and 'That Top Shelf'. It's way too cute! And it has pictures as well! Even though this book was priced just as high as the full-length novels I usually buy, I just couldn't help myself.

True, after a while the poems got a bit formulaic. They started out all cute, thoughtfu...more
Why are you reading this review? You should not waste another moment on this or any other thing, but pick up a copy of I Could Pee on This and start reading it aloud to anyone and everyone, including those creatures with “wittle” furry faces. This book of poems illustrates with charming insights and humor the essence that is “Cat.” You will learn that you are not the only one whose cat deposited a dead mouse on your bed. (The one my cat brought me was most alive and uninjured, so consider yourse...more
Beth Cato
This was a Christmas present and it made for a quick, amusing read to end the year. Really, the best word to sum up the book is "cute." The poems are simple, whimsical, and fully intended to be humor that cat lovers will immediately get. No deep, analytical poetry here. Instead, you get gems that make you smile like "I Lick Your Nose:"

I lick your nose
I lick your nose again
I drag my claws down your eyelids
Oh, you're up? Feed me

There are various mentions of urine and I recall one mention of sex, b...more
Jen Castagno

I Could Pee on This is a poetry book where every poem is written from a cat's point of view. This was a fresh look at poetry and was done different than most poetry books i have read. I am not a fan of poetry at all, but i do loves cats. So i figured that this book would help me enjoy poetry more. The poems are witty and hilarious. They are simple in speech but show the complexity of the mind of the cat.

I really think this book would be great for young adults who are getting int...more
David Sarkies
Jul 22, 2014 David Sarkies rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Cat Lovers
Recommended to David by: Goodreads
Shelves: comedy
Experience the delight of the feline poetic form
22 June 2014

The first thing that I noticed when I looked at the reviews for this book on Goodreads is the number of cat pictures that have been used (which is not surprising for an amusing book by, for, and about cats). Well, I guess I am going to have to add to the fun with some that I have found, such as this one:

Zombies eat brains

or this one:
Once upon a time
and he certainly does not seem to be too impressed:

Where are my balls

I must admit that I discovered this book on Goodreads when somebody ha...more
Last night my husband and I went to dinner and took a walk and then he read me some selections from this book and it was SOOOOOO ROMANTIC. :-)

These are sarcastic, sharp-witted poems (particularly the haiku about sushi). I laughed out loud a couple of times. Our cat enjoyed rubbing her chin against the corner of the book cover but was otherwise unimpressed.
Sep 17, 2012 Robin rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Cat-adjacent humans
Shelves: cats
This book begins with the following "Cat Epigram":

Sometimes when I lie on your warm chest
And hear your every happy sigh
I gaze into your two kind eyes
And wonder, "Who is that?"

That's all you really need to know. Except that my favorite poem in here is called "I Lick Your Nose". Thanks, Chronicle Books--charming, as always.

On page 8 - not even to the poetry yet and lmao!

I cannot recommend this book highly enough to anyone who has ever loved a cat, tried to love a cat, or even looked at a cat and thought WTF? Delightful and instructive.
Very clever. Very funny. Extremely well packaged. It's cats! Writing poems! I said, "IT'S CATS! WRITING POEMS! WHAT? STOP YELLING!" it's cats. writing poems.
Michelle E. Kobus
Jun 24, 2014 Michelle E. Kobus marked it as unowned-want-to-read-4
I think my cat, Sparrow, wrote the poem that gives this book it's name. Now, if only it mentioned something about serial sniffing...
What a funny, funny little book. Particularly when read for a poetry slam among wine drinking cat lovers. Yes. I did this. :-)
This book was hilariously spot on with most of the poems, such a fun read!
If you own a cat, you'll enjoy this as you chuckle in recognition.
Have a cat? Then you will love.

Jan 09, 2013 Jen rated it 3 of 5 stars
Shelves: 2013
cute, but not as cute as it thinks it is.
Mélanie Jannard
Je suis quelques webcomics qui font des chats des narrateurs, mais c'était la première fois que je lisais des poèmes rédigés d'une patte féline. Le titre I could pee on this reflète assez bien l'ensemble du recueil. En fait, j'y vois une sorte de « parodie » des poèmes très simples et irrévérencieux en les adaptant à la réalité humain/chat. J'ai préféré les textes ou ce dosage était parfait. Certains textes sont prévisible, moins poétiques et tombent un peu à plats (d'où mes trois étoiles - mais...more
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Francesco Marciuliano...
Pens the comic strips Sally Forth and Medium Large.
Has written for the Onion News Network, Smosh, McSweeney’s, and had a play produced at the New York International Fringe Festival.
Served as head writer for the PBS series SeeMore's Playhouse (for which his script won two regional Emmys).
Was afraid of the color yellow until about age nine.
Tans a little too well to be tru...more
More about Francesco Marciuliano...
I Could Chew on This: And Other Poems by Dogs I Knead My Mommy: And Other Poems by Kittens

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“On the edge of a laughing teacup
Did Kubla Kat decree
The the corn fritter festooned with medals
Shall make the brownies free
And so the walls turned to water
To let our sorrows drown
As the chairs burned themselves for warmth
So they need not face the clown
Then the spoons burst into song
And all the forks they understood
As I stared at my talking claws
Becasue this catnip is just that good”
“Sometimes when I lie on your warm chest
And hear your every happy sigh
I gaze into your two kind eyes
And wonder, 'Who is that?”
More quotes…