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28th out of 413 books
—
428 voters
I Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
"AM I LOSING MY MIND?"
People with Borderline Personality Disorder experience such violent and frightening mood swings that they often fear for their sanity. They can be euphoric one moment, despairing and depressed the next. There are an estimated 10 million sufferers of BPD living in America today -- each displaying remarkably similar symptoms:
a shaky sense of identity s...morePaperback, 224 pages
Published
January 1st 1989
by Avon Books
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Rating: 2.5 of 5
A quick read, I'm not sure I Hate You, Don't Leave Me would prove all that enlightening, or even helpful, for anyone seeking a deep examination of borderline personalities. It's rather broad except for the case studies, which weren't varied enough, in my opinion.
Chapter 4 - The Borderline Society was interesting, but readers have to make certain allowances for the year the book was published (1989) and realize a lot of the information, analyses and statistics are probably outdat...more
A quick read, I'm not sure I Hate You, Don't Leave Me would prove all that enlightening, or even helpful, for anyone seeking a deep examination of borderline personalities. It's rather broad except for the case studies, which weren't varied enough, in my opinion.
Chapter 4 - The Borderline Society was interesting, but readers have to make certain allowances for the year the book was published (1989) and realize a lot of the information, analyses and statistics are probably outdat...more
This book does nothing to convince me that the diagnosis of BPD is coherent or particularly useful. As always, case stories that neatly dovetail with the author's point of view are included, but I found the inclusion of gratuitous diagnosis of famous (and usually beautiful) women as BPD to be highly distasteful. Both Marilyn Monroe and Princess Diana are disseced. I can see the appeal of fantasizing about offering therapy to such women, but working out those fantasies in book for is in questiona...more
This isn't bad. But I felt as though I could get more specific information on the internet. I borrowed this book from my daughter in a quest to understand someone who was in my step-daughter's life a bit more.
It was a pretty easy read but I started to lose interest toward the end. I stuck it out anyway. I felt like it could have been more informative and more direct. It seemed as though it was holding back information in order to stay "respectful". That is a disservice to the reader. Still, it...more
It was a pretty easy read but I started to lose interest toward the end. I stuck it out anyway. I felt like it could have been more informative and more direct. It seemed as though it was holding back information in order to stay "respectful". That is a disservice to the reader. Still, it...more
This book was recommended to me as a way of understanding some of the actions and behaviours of someone in my very recent past. Unfortunately, I didn't find it much help in that regard. The book does go into a fair amount of detailed information about BPD, but I found it's focus on getting the BPD person in your life treatment, and what those treatment options are to be less useful to me.
If you are in a situation right now, today, with someone with BPD who you think may actually be open to getti...more
If you are in a situation right now, today, with someone with BPD who you think may actually be open to getti...more
Is this book in dire need of an update? Yes! Published in 1989, it is about time for a re-haul or at the very least a new introduction. Furthermore, whether it was published in the 1980's or now, it lacks a feminist analysis which in turn normalizes violence (and in particular intimate partner violence) and heterosexist stereotypes about women and men's behaviors and emotions. This absence proves dangerous for both individuals suffering from BPD and their family members. The authors propose gene...more
I recently found out an acquaintance had been diagnosed as being bi-polar. I got this book at the library, and lo and behold found out that having a "borderline personality" is a similar but not same diagnosis as "bi-polar". They are similar conditions, but evidently bi-polar or manic-depressives have swings from one extreme to the other that follow cycles. Inbetween the opposite swings, they can be fairly stable. People with borderline personality condition (BPC) live constantly in a kind of fr...more
This book uses astonishingly stigmatizing language. It uses phrases like, "The borderline does this" and "The bordline feels this" throughout. It's the same kind of language that, for example, old-school anthropological studies (ethnographies) tend to use-it renders "the borderline" as both a monolithic type and as other. It is insulting to presume that all people with this diagnosis are the same. Borderline was originally a diagnosis for people, nearly all women, who sought mental health care b...more
This book is about people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), who experience violent mood swings, which interfere with their leading a normal life. The symptoms are: •A shaky sense of identity, •Sudden violent outbursts, •Severe mood shifts, •Oversensitivity to real or imagined rejection, •Brief, turbulent love affairs, •Frequent periods of intense depression, •Eating disorders, drug or alcohol abuse, and other self-destructive tendencies, •An irrational fear of abandonment and an inabil...more
This book is terribly outdated. It lists homosexuality as sexual deviation, and was published before the advent of SSRIs. It also predates the current treatment for borderline personality disorder, Dialetical Behavioral Therapy. Don't bother reading this.
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Originally published in 1989 this reads like a text book which has been updated, which, funnily enough, is the case. Helpful if you're writing an assignment on Borderline Personality Disorder but not as helpful as other books I have read on the topic ie Stop walking on eggshells : coping when someone you care about has borderline personality disorder and The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tools and Techniques to Stop Walking on Eggshells.
The chapter on medications...more
The chapter on medications...more
Mar 08, 2013
Marilyn Dahl
rated it
3 of 5 stars
Shelves:
mental-health,
borderline-personality-disorder
I'm just skimming 'I Hate You..." and "Sometimes I Act Crazy..." both because they have some nomenclature and familiar language and territory that's good for me right now. I need to be in this zone anyway for a while. It's like knowing there are 'others out there' by reading these books. I'll tell you, it's like opening the book, flipping around and just knowing your'e not a good match, the same way it happens when you go to a therapist for the first time. I've been dealing with BPD and other 'c...more
Just read it! I love this book. This is THE BOOK to OWN for anyone that is curious about learning about Borderline Personality Disorder, for the person that has BPD, for a loved one with BPD, or for the therapist. It gives so much information in this book. It is current (2010) and gives stories so you can see what BPD is like. I got this from the library and I couldn't renew it since so many people were lined up and hand it on hold. I put this on hold back in March 2012. I got it Dec 2012. That...more
Sexist! Yuck.
Keep pushin' me, keep pushin' my lo-oo-oove.
Keep pushin' me, keep pushin' my lo-oo-oove.
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This book has decent background information on BPD and what I found interesting was the section on possible societal causes of BPD. This book isn't difficult to understand and is a good laid back sort of educational reading. Keep in mind there's an older version and a newer revised version that's more up to date. It doesn't go too in depth so for those looking for a decent yet easy to understand reading for borderline personality disorder, this is probably a book to look into but be cautious bec...more
One of the first books on Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). A very interesting and thorough read. While at some moments I was skeptical that the information being given was somewhat generalized and could apply to many people, not just people with BPD, there is a wealth of knowledge and experience here dedicated particularly to what may be helpful to know about BPD. I highly recommend this book apart from my one criticism above because it offers chapters specific to the latest known; forms o...more
Okay, so there are several things about this book.
It is an older book written about Borderline Personality Disorder. I believe it's intended audience was folks living with borderline or folks who know folks living with borderline. It is not clinical, but does present itself as helpful to counselors as an overview.
As an overview of Borderline it was okay. There were lots of examples, which I always like.
There were, unfortunately, some major hang-ups for me. One was that in the examples the autho...more
It is an older book written about Borderline Personality Disorder. I believe it's intended audience was folks living with borderline or folks who know folks living with borderline. It is not clinical, but does present itself as helpful to counselors as an overview.
As an overview of Borderline it was okay. There were lots of examples, which I always like.
There were, unfortunately, some major hang-ups for me. One was that in the examples the autho...more
Jun 13, 2012
drTee
rated it
5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for:
Students, professionals, and individuals having to deal with someone who might have or does have BPD
This is a great book for individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (to help them better understand some of their own patterns of behavior) or for families and therapists who deal with individuals with BPD. The book offers a very down to earth "picture" of BPD and ways to cope with maladaptive behavior. The book is quite engaging as it personalizes the stories and cases in the book. Various examples of BPD and maladaptive behavior are given. Very readable for families and the professional.
Author relies heavily on psychodynamic methods, which few practitioners use. However, later editions mention pharmaceuticals and a variety of methods from the cognitive behavior therapy school.
Vignettes were helpful in capturing the characteristics and symptoms of BDP in a manner easy for non-licensed practitioners to comprehend.
Whether the need is to help people who suffer with BDP or to attain skills for relating to relatives or friend afflicted with BDP, anyone wishing to understand more abou...more
Vignettes were helpful in capturing the characteristics and symptoms of BDP in a manner easy for non-licensed practitioners to comprehend.
Whether the need is to help people who suffer with BDP or to attain skills for relating to relatives or friend afflicted with BDP, anyone wishing to understand more abou...more
This is the first book I read about BPD. Being a patient myself I found the personal stories of other BPDs and explanations of our conducts to be really good and felt like looking at myself in the mirror. I got a bit bored on the section about the types of psychotherapy because it was a little bit too technical for me but overall is a really good book about the disorder especially for the professionals and the people looking for different types of treatment available (at least in the USA). Must...more
I may be in the minority here, but I hate this book. Its stance on those who deal with BPD is far from empathetic - rather, it perpetuates this myth that all people with BPD are ridiculous and borderline-dangerous individuals who care only for themselves. As someone who suffers from BPD myself, it had me wanting to slit my own throat for the good of humanity, by the time I was done. How very "Borderline" of me.
Sure a few things were outdated but only because it was written 2 decades ago but it was writtten so well. It was seperated in sections from what the disorder looks like, what to do about it, how it develops and the different approaches to treatment. It was the first book about borderline personality disorder that was optimistic about recovery. It was a great but and one that all clinicians should read.
This was an interesting read, but the main reason I read it was for research purposes. I have since learned that one of the characters in my book actually has a case of "The Double Bind" personality. Which is why I read The Double Bind by Chris Bohjalian; an enjoyable read, but again, not relevant to my research. The places research can take you! :)
As a Licensed therapist, I can say that I found this book to be among the best written to help a person better understand their Borderline spouse, friend, parent, sibling, etc. It helps you to understand how Borderlines develop and the characteristics you will encounter in relationships with them. A bit technical at times, but a wonderful book!
Not the easiest thing to read in the world but overall I enjoyed it. I found the SET communication thing to be helpful in the future for many situations, although, I doubt I will remember what the letters stand for. I like some of the questions that it raised about society and loved that it had actual accounts of patients with BPD.
When i was diganosed a few years back. My doc sugested this book as a read. I got it on my e-book started reading it. some of its a hard read but when they go to the stories of real people experances and the reasons ect. it opened my mind to a broader speacturm of what this mental disorder is and why i do what i do
Very good for organising / understanding symptoms, etc. but completely lacked any sensitivity, and I truly resent this habit of talking about people with BPD as if they're impossible and not worth bothering with. If you do that, you're basically saying, 'Go ahead and kill yourself.'
Feb 28, 2010
Kasacasa
is currently reading it
This book is very enlightening for a layman. It offers one a better understanding and with that a greater compassion for someone that exhibits borderline personality disorder. Further, it highlights that living with a borderline is definitely exhausting and not for the faint-of-heart.
this book made me sooo miserable, as if i wasnt miserable enough already. the author talks like there's no hope for us and we're all inevitably going to kill ourselves. not to mention the sexist angle. if you're looking for a useful book for BPD it is not this one!
This is a VERY thorough book, and actually provided me with a lot of information I don't necessarily need. My main hope in reading it was to find information helpful in interacting with folks with this personality disorder. And there was some useful information in here for that. But also lots of information about history and treatment and possible causes of BPD. This is undoubtedly a great book for anyone with BPD and their close friends and family. But if you're just looking for some helpful in...more
This was a very tough book to get through, because I saw so much of myself in it. If you have BPD, or you know of love someone with it...this is a good book to read. It may help you in understanding a little of what they go through.
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“The theologian Paul Tillich wrote that "loneliness can be conquered only by those who can bear solitude." Because the borderline finds solitude so difficult to tolerate, she is trapped in a relentless metaphysical loneliness from which the the only relief comes from of the physical presence of others. So she will often rush to singles bars or with crowded haunts, often with disappointing--or even violent--results.”
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Mar 30, 2012 01:34am