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The Art of Loving
by
Erich Fromm
The fiftieth Anniversary Edition of the groundbreaking international bestseller that has shown millions of readers how to achieve rich, productive lives by developing their hidden capacities for love
Most people are unable to love on the only level that truly matters: love that is compounded of maturity, self-knowledge, and courage. As with every art, love demands practi
...morePaperback, 184 pages
Published
November 21st 2006
by Harper Perennial Modern Classics
(first published January 1st 1956)
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I went through this book again partly because it has so much to say, and partly because I wanted to re-read Erich Fromm's instructions on how to meditate. I like the way he puts it, on pages 101 - 102:
“If I am attached to another person because I cannot stand on my own feet, he or she may be a lifesaver, but the relationship is not one of love. Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love. Anyone who tries to be alone with himself will discover how d...more
“If I am attached to another person because I cannot stand on my own feet, he or she may be a lifesaver, but the relationship is not one of love. Paradoxically, the ability to be alone is the condition for the ability to love. Anyone who tries to be alone with himself will discover how d...more
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One of my favorite books. I've read it three times now, and i'll probably read it several more times in the future. I really appreciate what a "down to earth" way of dealing with his subject matter that Fromm has. He recognizes that no book can make you a more loving person, but he does recognize that by calling our attention to the myriad ways that we misunderstand, and deceive ourselves about love, we can begin to approach a better understanding of what it might take to become better lovers...more
Las reflexiones de Fromm sobre el amor, la teoría del amor, son interesantes aunque obvias muchas de ellas. No obstante, la parte de la desintegración del amor en la sociedad capitalista occidental me ha hecho reflexionar, contiene ideas muy interesantes. Lo bueno de Fromm es que, a pesar de ser filósofo (como diría Marx) muestra propuestas de acción, y su lenguaje es sencillo e instructivo, lejos del elitismo y la pedantería de otros autores.
Everyone should read this book. It's for people who are in or trying to be in a relationship, but it's really also for any person who wants to be a better world citizen, in terms of how we relate to everyone (significant other, family, friends, strangers, etc.). The premise is really that today's modern/Western/Capitalistic society does not allow for people to truly practice the "art of love"--that being the art of loving a significant other or of brotherly love or neighborly love. ...more
нет сил молчать! это потрясающая книга.
с каждой прочитанной страницей становятся еще понятнее природа человеческих отношений, мотивации окружающих, проясняются свои достоинства и места, на которые стоит обратить внимание. прочитав главу о материнской любви (актуальное не только для родителей), каждый человек хотя бы на некоторое время убьет в себе мещанина - лишь мимолетное счастье даст новая дизайнерская игрушка, но самое главное для любого живого существа это любовь. об этом нельзя забыва...more
с каждой прочитанной страницей становятся еще понятнее природа человеческих отношений, мотивации окружающих, проясняются свои достоинства и места, на которые стоит обратить внимание. прочитав главу о материнской любви (актуальное не только для родителей), каждый человек хотя бы на некоторое время убьет в себе мещанина - лишь мимолетное счастье даст новая дизайнерская игрушка, но самое главное для любого живого существа это любовь. об этом нельзя забыва...more
This isn't an easy read by any stretch of the imagination. My copy has underlines, question marks & comments I've written on nearly every page I've read thus far. (which is, pg. 49 - it's not a long book, it's just really cerebral.) The point of this book is to better understand what it means to truly Love. Erich Fromm points out that a painter studies how to become a better artist. A mathematician will take courses to better understand formulas, but what of Loving? For surely Loving is an art. ...more
I liked the idea of the book. Love in any forms of relationship (parent, friend, lover, etc) simply needs an art to really comprehend it.
Fromm explained why people have tendency being trapped in narcissism or loneliness situation. We tend to focus how to make ourselves lovable, and never learn how to give our love in return. While the author wrote this book on the early of 50's, but i found this book absolutely being addressed to what-so-called modern people today. I learned a lo...more
Fromm explained why people have tendency being trapped in narcissism or loneliness situation. We tend to focus how to make ourselves lovable, and never learn how to give our love in return. While the author wrote this book on the early of 50's, but i found this book absolutely being addressed to what-so-called modern people today. I learned a lo...more
I read this book for a philosophy class when I was in high school and I liked the subject but can't say I enjoyed the reading experience. Probably because philosophical psychology wasn't one of my interests at that time and because I hate it when you are forced to read a book you don't want or have time to read well. I have to say I only read it once for now, but I have a vague memory about it and I'm sure I'll read it again some day when I have the time and finish the other books which interest...more
My goodness, what is this dude smoking?
Someone close to me made me aware that this book existed, and so out of curiosity, I decided to borrow the book from the library and read it. It took me 2 days, and really, I hated every bit of this book, for several reasons that I will delineate below. But first, let me tell you what this book is about.
Obviously, this is non-fiction. This is written by Erich Fromm, a prominent German social psychologist who happens to belong to the Fran...more
Someone close to me made me aware that this book existed, and so out of curiosity, I decided to borrow the book from the library and read it. It took me 2 days, and really, I hated every bit of this book, for several reasons that I will delineate below. But first, let me tell you what this book is about.
Obviously, this is non-fiction. This is written by Erich Fromm, a prominent German social psychologist who happens to belong to the Fran...more
Definitely showcases the popularization of Frankfurt School Marxism and Social Psychology. It reads more like a self-help book than anything philosophical. He talks in platitudes, and vague generalizations. Let's just put it this way, Fromm is a genius, he says all the right things, I enjoyed reading this text, learned a ton, but in a post-modern milieu obsessed with the latest fads - radical chicism (and such miscellaneous bullshit one can make a career out of in the academy these days)... Fro...more
More than just an average self-help book on (spoiler: you must love yourself and develop the capacity to love before you can love others), Fromm takes a socio-political-historical-psychoanalytic approach to the topic of Love. There are times when it does get a bit theoretical (which is a PLUS for me because I am a nerd), but the book is very much accessible. A friend recently commented that if more people read this book, there would be a lot more happy, functional relationships. True dat.
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I underestimated the power of this rather unsophisticated looking book. I have no idea who Fromm is but I imagine since he’s a German Jew and lived through both world wars that he’s a pretty insightful scholar. He writes so eloquently about what love is and what is it not that I felt enlightened with every sentence. Actually, I was imagining myself as bell hooks reading it for the first time in preparation to write All About Love. So many of her premises are grounded in Fromm’s theories and I l...more
Изключително приятно ме изненада тази книга за Любовта, писана към края на Духовната вълна на Любовта. Тя е тънка, но богата; говори просто, но задълбочено; разглежда Еволюцията, за да обясни нещата, доколкото му е възможно на автора. ("Ударението е сложено върху разбирането, че историята на религията е отражение на човешката духовна еволюция", пише в анотацията на друга книга на Фром, "Догмата за Христос", йей!)
Фром, изглежда, е еклектичен учен, което само може да...more
Фром, изглежда, е еклектичен учен, което само може да...more
My mother purchased this book claiming that I had a dearth of spirituality happening. Even though fundamentally I connect more spiritually than any member of my clan, I knew series of negative experiences had peppered my outlook. The title itself invited criticism until I started reading. Before my flight to Germany, I began this perennial classic.
Fromm constructed his psychoanalysis in a way that avoided elitist tendencies and informed greatly my understanding about development...more
Fromm constructed his psychoanalysis in a way that avoided elitist tendencies and informed greatly my understanding about development...more
Вот такие, важные и великие книги, почему-то всегда прочитываются чуть позже чем нужно. В то же время, вызывая тем самым большую игру дум соотношения прожитого и пережитого с тем, что провозглашает и открывает на этот счёт автор. Эта книга о том, что любовь обречена на неудачу, если каждый из субъектов не стремится более активно развивать свою личность в целом, не ставя себя в зависимость от связующего чувства. Что истинная любовь не возможна без строгой дисциплины и повсеместной работы над окру...more
This book is absolutely unbelievable. It's not surprise it's considered one of the most important books of the 1960s. Erich Fromm's ideas about what "loving" means are mind-blowing, and bring to the forefront every problem I've witnessed in myself, and in others, in relationships.
It's not a stupid self-help guide on how to love people or something cheesy like that. It's an honest look at how people's perceptions of love and loving have changed. And it's sensational.
It's not a stupid self-help guide on how to love people or something cheesy like that. It's an honest look at how people's perceptions of love and loving have changed. And it's sensational.
My edition of this work (New York: Harper & Brothers, 1956) was part of the World Perspectives series, which "endeavors to show that the conception of wholeness, unity, organism is a higher and more concrete conception than that of matter and energy... For the principle of life consists in the tension which connects the spirit with the realm of matter" and that "Knowledge, as it is shown in these books, no longer consists in a manipulation of man and nature as opposite forces, nor...more
This is a slender and pithy (132 page) classic (1956) well worth reading. Fromm argues that there has been a disintegration of love in Western society. Not just romantic love (though that's a good part of it), but also love generally -- love for neighbors, for family, for humanity.
The problem, he argues, is that our rationalistic, capitalistic society is highly individualized, and hence promotes a kind of narcissism in which love is all about being loved, a kind of what's-in-it-for-m...more
The problem, he argues, is that our rationalistic, capitalistic society is highly individualized, and hence promotes a kind of narcissism in which love is all about being loved, a kind of what's-in-it-for-m...more
pay particular attention to chapters: Love's Disintegration in Western Society and The Practice of Love.
Of particular interest to me, Fromm parallels the rise of capitalism with a restructuring of love and relationships.
p.14-15: re: ways of attaining union and avoiding the anxiety of separateness includes orgiastic states and creative activity. here is conformity of the group:
In contemporary capitalistic society the meaning of equality has been transformed. ...more
Of particular interest to me, Fromm parallels the rise of capitalism with a restructuring of love and relationships.
p.14-15: re: ways of attaining union and avoiding the anxiety of separateness includes orgiastic states and creative activity. here is conformity of the group:
In contemporary capitalistic society the meaning of equality has been transformed. ...more
I read The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm with the sole interest of finding out other people’s view on love, and was definitely pleased with it. The content isn’t like a how-to book on falling in love, but rather a book that delves into the philosophies of all kinds of love—paternal and maternal, heterosexual and homosexual, friendship, etc. Fromm argues in the book that one must maintain control of certain components in order to attain love, because love is more of a decision and commitment than ...more
He described very interestng reflections on the Freud'sche theory. As said in the book, Freud's theory is strongly connected to the historical evolvements at that time, such as the strong belief in capitalism. Love is a lot more than only a chemical reaction.
Further, it is interesting to see know we could explain the different structure and nature of parents' love. I strongly believe in the difference of father's and mother's approach of love. Being that said, I understand his concern...more
Further, it is interesting to see know we could explain the different structure and nature of parents' love. I strongly believe in the difference of father's and mother's approach of love. Being that said, I understand his concern...more
اولین کتابی که از اریک فروم خوندم. یادمه از طریق خوندن یکی از کتابای دکتر شریعتی با این کتاب آشنا شدم. توش از ترجمه ی خوب پوری سلطانی تعریف کرده بود و گفته بود گول اسم به ظاهر زردش رو نخورین. واقعا هم همین طور هست. بزرگ ترین چیزی که از این کتاب یاد گرفتم این بود که عاشق شدن هم نیاز به استعداد داره. چیزی که همیشه فکر میکردم پیش همه وجود داره اما به مرور زمان با کسایی آشنا شدم که واقعا این استعدادو نداشتن. از جمله یکی از رفیقام که میگفت من هیچ وقت نمیتونم عاشق بشم، چون نمیتونم هیچ دختری رو بیش از ...more
Una excelente pieza de información e investigación que expone a los lectores a una serie de auto descubrimientos y aprendizajes sobre uno mismo difíciles de conseguir en otro lado. Fromm examina el amor desde un punto de vista objetivo y dándole una importancia mayor que la que la gente usualmente le da en la sociedad contemporánea, además de que no se queda estancado en el amor de pareja, sino que toca temas como el amor de una madre/padre a un hijo, del hijo a sus padres, el amor entre hermano...more
Este libro lo leí cuando estaba en la facultad, buscando respuestas ... esperaba encontrarlas en este libro .. pero no fue así. Aún así, creo que fue una muy buena lectura, ya que su autor es un destacado filósofo y humanista, a quien, de cualquier manera vale la pena leer. En este libro se analiza el tema del amor, desde el punto de vista histórico, filosófico y sicológico. Cuál es su "función" social, y hacia donde se podría dirigir el curso de la humanidad con el amor. Tambien se an...more
Social psychologist Erich Fromm examines the concept of love. The work is written less academic than you would initially think. His examples and rationale draw more from art, literature and history rather than research based inquiries. Sometimes profound, but with a tinge of elitism, Fromm's theory and approach are at once simple in their logic and complex in design. Enjoyable and readable to anyone with even a slight interest in psychology.
Challenges Freud throughout, but also carr...more
Challenges Freud throughout, but also carr...more
A very enlightening book about love. This non-fiction book departs from the romantic or mysterious definition of love which most romantics would want to believe. It clearly describes all the types of love. I still recall that mother's love is unconditional but father's love is not. When I became a father, I can say that to some degree, this is true.
Though old-fashioned in places, and more philosophical than practical, I nevertheless greatly enjoyed and learned much from this slim tome.
He convincingly shows that a lot of the sadness and discombobulation of modern life comes from wanting to "have fun" until it's not fun any more, and a lack of concentration and discipline (stemming, perhaps, from an overindulgence in stark rigidity at times in our lives).
"The sexual act without love never bridges the g...more
He convincingly shows that a lot of the sadness and discombobulation of modern life comes from wanting to "have fun" until it's not fun any more, and a lack of concentration and discipline (stemming, perhaps, from an overindulgence in stark rigidity at times in our lives).
"The sexual act without love never bridges the g...more
The renowned psychoanalyst Erich Fromm has helped millions of men and women achieve rich, productive lives by developing their hidden capacities for love. In this astonishly frank and candid book, he explores the ways in which this extraordinary emotion can alter the whole course of your life.
Most of us are unable to develop our capacities for love on the only level that really counts––a love that is compounded of maturity, self–knowledge, and courage. Learning to love, like other ar...more
Most of us are unable to develop our capacities for love on the only level that really counts––a love that is compounded of maturity, self–knowledge, and courage. Learning to love, like other ar...more
Eric Fromm follows marxist and freudean traditions. He develops the concept of loving as an art and sets about developing a theory and some guidelines for practice. Fromm belongs to the Frankfurt school of critical theory which means that his neo-Marxist aproach is one that aims to develop a practical humanism instead of a communist orthodoxy. The works of Fromm and others of the school of Frankfurt would influence the likes of Che Guevara in asmuch as leftists advocate for brotherly love....more
as the U2 song "we are one but we are not the same"
We say "i am in love" "or "i love you" but what do we meant? Fromm says "Love is often nothing but a favorable exchange between two people who get the most of what they can expect, considering their value on the personality market. " he criticizes the love definition of modern world and modern ages.
When you love someone you have to respect him/her. Be responsible to their needs...more
We say "i am in love" "or "i love you" but what do we meant? Fromm says "Love is often nothing but a favorable exchange between two people who get the most of what they can expect, considering their value on the personality market. " he criticizes the love definition of modern world and modern ages.
When you love someone you have to respect him/her. Be responsible to their needs...more
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| my opinion | 1 | 24 | Mar 19, 2010 11:18pm |
Fromm's theory is a rather unique blend of Freud and Marx. Freud, of course, emphasized the unconscious, biological drives, repression, and so on. In other words, Freud postulated that our characters were determined by biology. Marx, on the other hand, saw people as determined by their society, and most especially by their economic systems.
He added to this mix of two deterministic syst...more
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He added to this mix of two deterministic syst...more
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“Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise. If love were only a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever, when my act does not involve judgment and decision.”
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716 people liked it
“Love isn't something natural. Rather it requires discipline, concentration, patience, faith, and the overcoming of narcissism. It isn't a feeling, it is a practice.”
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68 people liked it
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