A lifesaving handbook for parents of children who are occasionally, or too often, for very young children, adolescents, and even beyond.
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Apr 09, 2010
Jen
rated it: 
Thoughts so far (about 1/4 in): This book should have been called "Parenting Children," not parenting defiant children. I would not have picked it up if it hadn't been recommended by someone else, because as obnoxious as my kids can be, I don't think of them as defiant. But so far, the approach seems sensible and backed up with data, and workable for all sorts of children and parents.
Update - thoughts after finishing/skimming before returning to the library. Am intrigued by More...
Update - thoughts after finishing/skimming before returning to the library. Am intrigued by More...
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Aug 18, 2008
Joy
rated it: 
Looooove it!!! Especially that it's based on not just his own experience, but on lots of research - other studies. I will definitely buy it to use with Betsy. I like his "program" for dealing with specific behaviors you'd like to change, but also the end which talks about how using traditional values helps kids turn out better.
Quotes:
"Children tend to avoid interacting with a punishing agent - parents, teachers, whoever it might be - and to minimize the time they More...
Quotes:
"Children tend to avoid interacting with a punishing agent - parents, teachers, whoever it might be - and to minimize the time they More...
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Jun 10, 2008
Anna
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There are a couple of key things I learned from this book, specifically, the most effective way to issue a command, and the most effective way to praise. It also changed my perspective on punishment somewhat. There is information on how to set up an effective point system, however, I would have appreciated more example scenarios. The point/reward system is set up briefly within one chapter, leaving me unsure how to handle certain situations. I did try implementing a point system, which has a
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Feb 12, 2009
Jessica
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I love this approach. I think his positive feedback approach can work with any child, and It is a refreshing change from all the punitive based programs out there. This WORKS with my 4 yr old who has Aspergers. It is so simple, celebrate the behavior you want to encourage. Specific praise. I can't say how much this book has change my sons behaivior, and my whole approach to parenting.
Oct 05, 2011
Ham
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Excellent and very useful. We're currently implementing the system for our 7 and 5 year olds. Every day throws up a new challenge, but it has led to some very positive changes. An excellent chapter on the research around the effectiveness of punishment, and some very clear principles on the role of positive reinforcement. I've recommended it to others.
Sep 03, 2009
Nicole
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A nice easy to follow guide for parents and gaurdians looking to improve their child's or children's behavior. It gives examples of how to implement the program, troubleshooting methods if the program is not working, and general tips on parenting. I appreciate that Kazdin speaks to the value of researched and empirically based strategies.
Aug 13, 2011
Susan
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Affirmed what my own practice has shown. Just about nothing about raising a child with a strong will is easy, but this gives a good outline of what you're probably going through, what can and won't work, and offers good advice on how to help your day-to-day life run more on-target.
Apr 25, 2008
Megan
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This book is full of great scientific research, followed by practical application. What's more is that I found Kazdin to keep the child's interests at heart. By reading this book, I understood the discipline practices that I grew up with -- that I agree with and those that I don't. My husband & I are now using the point chart, reward system & positive opposites that Kazdin describes... AND our daughter is blooming.
I also like that the book is divided into age-appropriate chapters so More...
I also like that the book is divided into age-appropriate chapters so More...
Sep 11, 2009
Callie
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These are great ideas, but a lot of work. You have to stay on top every good action, which is hard to notice sometimes. Although...it does work better for my more defiant child than my other kids. Rewards for her are big.
Aug 07, 2011
Shawney
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Book gives great ideas on parenting not only strong willed children but all children. Unfortunately parents can't follow any specific thought on parenting. Parenting is for sure a trial and error process
May 03, 2010
Some defiant children need to learn problem solving skills in order for their behavior to change.
Jun 03, 2011
Crystal
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This book offers some good parenting techniques that even work for the not-so-definant child.
May 27, 2009
Heidi
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I didn't finish this book, but plan to in the future. It has some good methods for encouraging good behaviour in children by using specific types of prompting and positive reinforcement while ignoring bad behavior. It is a pretty simple approach that all seems logical to me, helps you encouarage your child to make good choices, and supposedly isn't suppose to require much energy after the initial use of the specific method?!? I'm going to have to check it out from the library again! The litt
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Jan 01, 2009
Erin
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This one hit home. The method seems to be making a difference in our family.
Aug 22, 2008
Reg
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Points out the errors of punishment, and the benefits of positive shaping of behavior. I'm looking forward to seeing how this helps with classroom management in a middle school. If you like this, you'll like this article from the NYT, http://www.nytimes.com/2006/06/25/fashio... ("What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage") and the subsequent book, What Shamu Taught Me About Life, Love, and Marriage: Lessons for People from Animals and Their Trainers (http://www.amazon.com/What-Shamu-Taught-...
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Jun 01, 2008
Heathercan
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He has a very positive and empowering method for handling a child or children who are passionate little rascals. The best thing that I got out of it is the need to focus attention significantly more on the positive behavior and less on the negative (although not ignoring it altogether). A very research-intense book, he does make a good argument for why punishment w/o good positive feedback is destined to fail. We will be buying a copy of it for future reference.
Jun 24, 2008
Liz
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So I only read the parts applicable to my children's ages, but I really liked all the emphasis on being more positive and focusing on the positive and staying in control not by controlling your child, but by ignoring negative behavior. The whole premise is that if we ignore negative behavior and praise positive behavior, the negative behavior will become extinct for want of attention. I buy into that. It's very Christlike at any rate.
Feb 13, 2010
Suzanne
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Just broke down an ordered a copy from Powell's. Hopefully it will arrive before I have to return my copy to the library.
Dec 07, 2009
No, I don't have a defiant child. They are hardly "children" yet anyway, seeing as how they are barely toddlers :-)
Someone recommended this book as a basic "how to" for positive discipline (i.e. other than spanking or yelling) and her girls are only 15 months and very well behaved so, I figured I'd check it out.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Someone recommended this book as a basic "how to" for positive discipline (i.e. other than spanking or yelling) and her girls are only 15 months and very well behaved so, I figured I'd check it out.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Jun 30, 2008
Molly
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While you'll want to read the entire book in order to understand all the strategies, and to pick up some easy tips, the basic premise here is that it is easier and healthier (for both you and your child) to practice positive reinforcement of good behavior, rather than progressively escalating punishments for bad behavior.
Aug 15, 2008
Darby
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This book was user friendly, but his method relies too heavily on extrinsic reward systems---we're using some of the techniques, but using only specific positive verbal feedback and I think that's more in line with our beliefs. Overall it's a decent book.
May 28, 2010
Maren
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I'm a little embarrassed to be reading a book with this title, but it is not so much about dealing with defiance as it is about positive motivation. I appreciated that it is research based, and it had some helpful ideas.
Jul 24, 2010
Clint
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it started off pretty good, but then got a little repetitious. I got bored and didn't finish it. But it did have some good points at the beginning.
Jul 21, 2008
Christine
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I don't have a defiant child but the strategies and parneting skills presented in the book are fabulous and work for any kid.
Wish this had been out years ago!
Wish this had been out years ago!
Jul 08, 2008
Laura
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This looks very hopeful, although it would require careful implementation and personal discipline. The book is very well-written, but also requires a very close reading.
Aug 17, 2008
Claudia
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what the author says makes sense, but his method sounds a little complicated.
nothing for a 2 year old...
nothing for a 2 year old...
Nov 16, 2009
Karen
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This is a good book if you are wanting to change a particular behavior, not just general disobedience.
