Haunted
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Haunted

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3.55 of 5 stars 3.55  ·  rating details  ·  53,631 ratings  ·  2,986 reviews
Haunted is a novel made up of stories: twenty-three of the most horrifying, hilarious, mind-blowing, stomach-churning tales you'll ever encounter. They are told by the people who have all answered an ad headlined 'Artists Retreat: Abandon your life for three months'. They are led to believe that here they will leave behind all the distractions of 'real life' that are keepi...more
Mass Market Paperback, 412 pages
Published May 4th 2006 by Vintage (first published 2005)
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(showing 1-30 of 3,000)
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Paul
I'm only on p 75 of this thing and I'm about to hurl it at the wall. What is it supposed to be? Does this guy really think these lame parodies are funny? This is from the section called "Slumming", which is about rich people, a couple of whom are pretending to be poor :

"Inky always said being absent is the new being present." (p 69)
"Poverty, Inky says, is the new wealth." (p71)
"Social divers, Inky says, are the new social climbers." (p71)
"Nobodies are the new celebrity." (p72)
"Public is the new...more
Lex Larson
Dec 04, 2013 Lex Larson rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: hearty German stock
Apparently working in a vet clinic for the better part of 5 years is precisely the recipe required to inure one to the effects of Palahniuk's writing.

You'll see tons of "OMG SO GWOSS!!" reviews here, but this ain't one of 'em. I was entertained. All the blood-and-guts and bodily fluids in the world don't really gross me out. What really sickens me is people.

And that's what Palahniuk does best: he writes about the dark sides of people and how precious little it takes to make those sides surface....more
Carrie
This book is vile. It is disgusting. No matter how much you can take, you will squirm and say "Oh My GOD!" out loud on the bus or plane or couch or wherever it is you read. It is a nasty book. But Haunted is so much more than that and so worth reading.

Haunted is set in a drab old theater, past it's prime, boarded up, invisible, and impenetrable to the outside world. Inside the theater are 23 characters. 23 people with names like the Earl of Slander and Agent Tattletale. Each character is introd...more
Cynthia
Nov 06, 2007 Cynthia rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: shock-seekers and Palahniuk fans.
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.
Instead of reviewing the entire novel, I will just be focusing on my personal favourite chapter "Guts".
To date, there have been 53 known occurrences of audience members fainting during readings of “Guts”. This doesn’t surprise me at all, knowing the repulsive content of the story.
"Guts" is your mother, father, preacher and teacher shaking that disapproving finger at self pleasure. Needless to say, this short story will have you thinking twice about creeping that wondering...more
Cloudhidden
Jul 17, 2007 Cloudhidden rated it 1 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: no one
This is honestly the worst book I have ever read. I finished it, only because of my amazement at how bad it was and how it never deviated from that.

I was intrigued by the premise: a group of writers volunteer to go on a retreat to write their masterpiece. The book has a chapter of plot, followed by either a poem or short story from one of the participants. Sounds cool!

The book falls apart immediately. All of the stories/poems are obviously written by the same person. They share themes, style, an...more
Josh Cutting
This book is incredibly uneven, that's its downfall. There are some really good moments, some really bad moments, and one or two truly brillant ones. Looking at it as what it essentially is; a collection of short stories, it's really no better or worse than any other short story collection, and actually should get extra points for its brazen audacity. The unifying material that links all of the stories together is terribly weak, and is what ultimately sinks the book.

The first story "Guts" is the...more
Jeremy
People who are just trying to be gross can't help but be entertaining, no matter how see-thru their intent. You can't ignore the little boy who's trying to wipe his boogers on you, and when his parents have finally collared him, with anger and gag relex fully suppressed you have to admit the whole thing was actually pretty funny.

Chuck Paloonyhoonyhookiak is just trying to wipe his boogers on you. When he's done with that, he'll gladly exhaust whatever other bodily fluids happen to be available...more
Rachel
This is chuck's worst work. It pains me to say that, but its just true. a group of would-be writers on a writer's retreat each is given the chance to tell a story. The stories are all basically gross for the sake of being gross with little to no redeeming value.

One infamous story involving a pool was so hard to get through I had to take 3 breaks. Its so descriptive and disgusting I had to take a breather for fear of vomiting (i am not alone in this, he read this particular story at signings and...more
Patrick
I was really excited about this one after being disappointed with "Lullaby" and "Diary." Basically, it's a book of short stories each by a fictional author, each introduced by a poem about the writer, and linked together by mini-chapters about the writers' retreat they are all on. Trapped in a house and running out of food, they write, record, and videotape their experience, certain that when they are finally rescued, they will all become media darlings destined for reality tv fame, if any of th...more
Shelby *wants some flying monkeys*
Apr 16, 2014 Shelby *wants some flying monkeys* rated it 3 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommended to Shelby *wants some flying monkeys* by: Kelly (and the Book Boar)
Shelves: read-2014
This book is more of a 3.5 star read.
A group of people agree to participate in a "Writer's Retreat". Three months, food and lodging included, while you complete your masterpiece.
The stories begin with probably one of the best, most shocking short stories I've ever read-called Guts. You just have to see for yourself on that one. Some of the stories the people share are more interesting than others. That's why the 3.5 stars instead of higher. The thing that amazed me about this book was the way...more
anarki
I had a hard time finishing Haunted, if you wanna know the truth. But it's just the way I like it, the way it is. There’s really no easy way to read a Chuck book. Ha-ha. Some stories were a waste of time. Some were just too excellent: Guts, Exodus, Box-shit, and that scene or whatever it was when Comrade Snarky said, "I fainted....and you ate my ass?” … “You fed me my own ass?” Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

As a whole, the book has a disoriented flow. If we talk about music, it'll be like a beautiful so...more
Kelly (and the Book Boar)
Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/

4.5 Stars

WRITER’S RETREAT:

ABANDON YOUR LIFE FOR THREE MONTHS.

Just disappear. Leave behind everything that keeps you from creating your masterpiece. Your job and family and home, all those obligations and distractions – put them on hold for three months. Live with like-minded people in a setting that supports total immersion in your work. Food and lodging included free for those who qualify. Gamble a small fraction of your life on the
...more
Marvin
Warning: The cover of this edition glows in the dark. Do not place on your bed stand unless you want to have a heart attack. I speak from experience.

There are 21 short stories in Haunted. Some of them are amazing such as the notorious "Guts". Others are so-so. A couple of them are just boring. All of them are written to shock yet the brevity of the tales keeps both writer and reader focused. If this was a short story collection, I would rate it a strong three stars.

Unfortunately it is not. Palah...more
Toby
This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.
Lady Danielle
I... I... I just.... WTF?!?!?!



Stopped on page 25 I can't finish this. I... this book is weird and disgusting and gut wrenching. I decided to read this book because I read in a group comment that it was the weirdest thing they've ever read. So I decided to give it a try... no. Just fucking no.

Stories about some kid sodomising himself with a fucking carrot and some Vaseline; a teenager jacking off with some candle wax -- THROUGH HIS PISS HOLE. The storyteller jacking off in a pool hovering over th...more
Travis
The book was a difficult read. Even more difficult to review. I struggled with how many stars to give it to the point where I've waited a few weeks to even write a review. It wasn't my favorite book by any means but I didn't hate it either. What it did do was stir so much visceral emotion that I haven't been able to pick up another book since. A reaction that intense warrants recognition so I reluctantly opted for 4 stars purely on its dark influence over my joy of reading (or lack there of now)...more
Emily
easily the most disgusting book i've ever read. There's an afterword at the end where he talks about how books are the only medium where you have free range to tell the story however you want to tell it, to say whatever you want to say. Whereas in movies, you're trying to hit a certain audience and your work is censored and edited to a certain extent. Books alow you to travel to this deep, dark secret private place inside yourself. That's why he writes. A very compelling explanation. I think one...more
El
I adore scary. I love being scared by movies and books. I'm a little less brave by real-life situations - as a kid I loved the idea of haunted houses at Halloween, but each year, without fail, I wouldn't even make it through a haunted house without my dad having to carry me out an emergency exit because it was all just too much. It became sort of a family joke. I wanted to make it through, I wanted to enjoy being scared, but it was too close to me, I didn't have control over it, and therefore, I...more
Simona Bartolotta
Palahniuk, hai per caso voglia di prendermi per i fondelli?

Questa la domanda che mi martellava il cervello sin dalle prime dieci pagine. La ragione è semplice: questo non è un libro, è un mucchio di stupidate.
Stupidata numero 1), le poesie di inizio -o fine?- capitolo. Ora, spiegatemi quali stranezze dovrebbero comunicarmi data la loro completa assenza di un qualsivoglia significato.
Stupidata 2), i personaggi. Di una piattezza assurda. Non uno che faccia sfoggio di un carattere un po' diverso d...more
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Onstage, instead of a spotlight, a movie fragment



I had no expectations when I started to read this book, well yeah I did I expected not to like it and most of all I expected not to "get" it. It's been on my to read list for an age now and I've always put it off expecting it to be one of those cool books that all your friends read and you feel dumb because it just goes right over your head. And before I started I did scroll through a few reviews here on Goodreads and saw that it had a lot of very...more
Krystal
Don't be fooled, I may have chosen 5 stars for this novel, but not because I loved it. This book is dynamic.

This novel looks so innocent and harmless, sitting there with it's ghostly lavender and white cover and "Fight Club" was great, I'll give it a read.

This novel will stretch you to breaking point and beyond what you have ever read before. To give an example, when Chuck Palahniuk gives a public reading of the short story "Guts", the ambulance shows up before the end of it. People have fainted...more
Tee Jay
This is a bad book barely held together by fleeting and brief moments of fantastic insight. Just when I felt like I was wasting my time and the novel couldn't get any more disgusting, stupid, boring, or any other negative sentiment, it would then turn for just a brief second and capture my interest fully and completely. At these dispersed points the book would almost redeem itself. Then, within no time at all, the nice respite from the garbage prose would come to an end and the author would then...more
Carol (StarAngel's Reviews) Allen
5 Amazing Disturbing Stars

First of all I have to warn readers about the disturbing content in this book. This book is not for the weak stomach....It has been reported that when Chuck has read the short story "Guts" from this novel, there have been injuries with people passing out.

To me this book reminded me somewhat of the setup of "The Canterbury Tales". The frame style of this book consists of each chapter starting out with what is going on in the story with the 17 would be authors who have si...more
Megan
Hmmm, this is a toughy. I made the mistake of reading a couple of reviews on Haunted while I was halfway through the novel. Needless to say, it didn;t change the way I felt. I can't help but notice that readers of Haunted go to two different extremes in their reviews. Let's face it - you're either a Palahniuk fan or you're not. Anyone that has read a Palahniuk novel before knows what they are getting themselves into. You are going to feel gritty, you're going to feel dirty and you're going to ha...more
Mikey Terry
Absolute trash. It's sad when an author has an excellent social commentary and then butchers it with stories about eating newborns, self mutilation, and stagnant plot progression.
MJ Nicholls
This enormous hardback, with hideous shocked-doll peepers peeping out the gothic stencilling and black laminate paper, foregrounds the content rather well. It’s a tongue-in-cheek homage to Poe and co, mingled with some of that postmodern irony so beloved by the people in marketing who run our lives through bar charts.

As a stylist, I respect that Palahniuk isn’t lazy, putting his trademark transgressive style away in novels like Pygmy, a hilarious and brilliant little comedy that hit the mark nic...more
Shane
This was quite a disgusting book to read, my first Chuck Palahniuk, and probably my last. I think the premise of this macabre parody of human endeavour is that we are in this life to suffer and die, that earth is only a processing plant for Paradise (or Venus, as it is portrayed in the book?).I think this premise is as old as the Bible, but what a way Plahniuk chooses to tell us this: replete with olfactory emissions, rotting bodies, barf,shit, blood (lots of it) dismembered body parts, sucked-o...more
Danny
Dec 11, 2007 Danny rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: people with strong stomachs
Haunted is a trip into all those nasty squalid corners of the human soul, and all those dark little things we like to pretend to ourselves that no one is actually capable of, not really. But they can and do really happen, and most of them happen in Haunted.

Haunted is a collection of Palahniuk's most twisted short stories threaded together around a frame story. Most of them will put your jaw on the floor. They're sick, they're nasty, and they're almost impossible to stop reading. It's like watch...more
Frank
I really enjoyed Diary by Chuck Palahniuk as well as the movie Fight Club. Haunted, not so much. The overall critique of reality TV by way of a reality writer's retreat that worked like a nihilistic Survivor or American Idol was promising. But the book's design of being carried by the short stories of the writers on retreat left the book uneven and less satisfying. A few of the stories rose to the task, but overall the book didn't quite live up to its promising premise.

The book did leave an im...more
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Books 'N Booze Bo...: Haunted Follow Up and Highlights 4 20 Oct 21, 2013 07:06PM  
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Books 'N Booze Bo...: Haunted Initial impressions 11 12 Oct 18, 2013 08:46AM  
Books 'N Booze Bo...: Haunted Discussion Questions 1 10 Oct 15, 2013 02:49PM  
The WTF? Book Club: Haunted - Chuck Palahniuk (September Book Selection)) 7 57 Aug 20, 2013 08:55AM  
The Nation 2.0: Thoughts? 9 61 Apr 12, 2013 05:39AM  
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2546
Written in stolen moments under truck chassis and on park benches to a soundtrack of The Downward Spiral and Pablo Honey, Fight Club came into existence. The adaptation of Fight Club was a flop at the box office, but achieved cult status on DVD. The film’s popularity drove sales of the novel. Chuck put out two novels in 1999, Survivor and Invisible Monsters. Choke, published in 2001, became Chuck’...more
More about Chuck Palahniuk...
Fight Club Choke Invisible Monsters Survivor Lullaby

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“People fall so in love with their pain, they can’t leave it behind. The same as the stories they tell. We trap ourselves.” 914 likes
“The difference between how you look and how you see yourself is enough to kill most people. And maybe the reason vampires don’t die is because they can never see themselves in photographs or mirrors.” 501 likes
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