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Portside

by Elyan Smith (Goodreads Author)

4.2 of 5 stars 4.20 · rating details · 54 ratings · 34 reviews

Life on the dole in a dying town is defined by drinking when you can, smoking to pass the time, and, if you're gay, going down to the barracks at the old port to get some. Iwan's got the cigarettes and the booze down pat, but he lacks experience, so he sticks to online porn and watching the lads portside.

Everyone else seems to have learned how to get what they want, yet Iw...more

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Published June 18th 2012 by Riptide Publishing

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Jan 15, 2013 LisaT - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog LisaT131 rated it 5 of 5 stars

Recommended to LisaT - AttentionIsArbitrary M/M Blog by: aleksandr voinov

Shelves: adult, trans-gender, transgender

~~~

I don't know how I feel about this book and yet it earns an undeniable 5 stars.

I'm left unsure, but not about the writing, or the characters, or the story. I'm not exactly unsettled either. Maybe the best way to describe what I'm left with is that I am so blown away by the writing that it's difficult to sort through my thoughts.

THE WRITING:

Elyan Smith has written one of the tightest and most vivid books I've come across. The imagery created is almost a little, too real. This is life. This is...more

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Jun 16, 2012 Anne rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was such a rewarding read. The descriptions of the town, barracks, and characters are so well-drawn for such a short work. Highly recommended.

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Jun 30, 2012 Reggie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: coming-of-age

Impressive writing. This is fiction and NOT romance. This is not about a relationship. This is a slice of life from a young man living in an economically depressed town.

What attracted me to buying this book is the impact this book has on its readers (as seen in the other reviews), combined with the fact that it is ONLY 29 pages. I thought, "WOW I have to experience this."

Thanks, well done. I hope that the author and Riptide submit this to the Lambda Awards Committee.

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Aug 07, 2012 Lisa rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: contemporary, glbt, literary-fiction, m-m, short-story, trans

4.5 Stars

“Hope is a waking dream.” – Aristotle

I knew as soon as I read Elyan Smith’s short story Zones in the UK MAT anthology Lashings of Sauce that he was an author whose work I wanted to know much better. Zones is the touching story of a transgender woman who is trying desperately to find her place in the world, to find her place within herself, and to find her place within her partner’s family. This story was so moving and memorable to me not only because of the subject but also because of t...more 4.5 Stars

“Hope is a waking dream.” – Aristotle

I knew as soon as I read Elyan Smith’s short story Zones in the UK MAT anthology Lashings of Sauce that he was an author whose work I wanted to know much better. Zones is the touching story of a transgender woman who is trying desperately to find her place in the world, to find her place within herself, and to find her place within her partner’s family. This story was so moving and memorable to me not only because of the subject but also because of the author’s writing; it is dense with emotion and atmosphere and sometimes felt cloying, like a heart-wrenching yet hopeful dream.

I can now honestly say that this wasn’t a fluke, because Portside, Elyan Smith’s debut short story, is equally and beautifully oppressive, which is a huge oxymoron but true nonetheless. This is a story set in a bleak town where Iwan lives a bleak life in a bleak house where anything resembling hope is quashed by the harsh economic times and lack of opportunities for him, for his best friend Lyn, for his family. His life is a place where cigarettes and alcohol are comfort in their constancy, where picture postcards of faraway places are the one dimensional dreams of everything his life isn’t, where the depthless face of the television screen pays mocking tribute to the austerity of his life.

Portside is in no way a romance. It is pure literary fiction and it explores the life of a young man who wants for everything but doesn’t dare want for much. He is a young man trying to fit in his own skin, even though that skin doesn’t quite fit who he is. He is a young man who has dared to hope, and in that hope he might find a way to connect with the one person about whom he dreams of something more—a portside boy, Jonah—who is the golden prize at the end of the monochromatic rainbow.

This was a difficult story for me to relate to on some levels, mostly because I couldn’t be looking at it from further outside Iwan’s perspective, but that’s really what made me try all the harder to empathize with him and his longing for something more than what he had, and in the end, it worked with a certain sort of somber beauty.

TNA (less)

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Jun 30, 2012 Sue rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: Open-minded readers looking for impressive language skills.

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

I was a bit surprised at how much I enjoyed this story, as I'd not read a transgendered book before. I did find it a bit confusing and uncomfortable at times, but I suppose that's rather the point - the confusion or opposition of body and mind images could only be that way. I think Elyan Smith wrote the dilemma very well, very convincingly, without being the least bit preachy or lecturing.

Portside is a very atmospheric story, its setting similar to many documentaries on depressed and failing are

...more

Portside is a very atmospheric story, its setting similar to many documentaries on depressed and failing areas of Britain that I've seen on the telly. Not what you'd consider a promising background to a romance - and I wouldn't call this story a romance at all. It's a slice of Iwan's life, of his journey to acceptance of what he is, and again, while not seeming the most promising subject for a story, it is very immediate and draws in the reader very quickly.

Straightaway I became aware of Iwan's pain, of the urgency of his need to find something more satisfying than porn, while being confronted with his difficulty in taking that next step and approaching someone.

(view spoiler)

Iwan's story is unfinshed. We're only shown a slice of his journey. In time he needs to admit to a partner just who and what he is. In Portside Iwan deliberately chooses encounters which do not require any coming out from himself. The sex is all focused on his partner's erogenous zones, not his. Iwan's next steps will also be hard to take, but I feel he will continue to progress now he's taken this first step towards coming out. That's a term that means so much more in this transgendered novel than even the huge leap of faith in a more traditional gay story.

I read the excerpt on Riptide Publishing's website via their newsletter, and the quality of Elyan's writing was immediately evident. This made me pre-order the book, and I've not regretted doing so. To find such lyrical, well written and edited work is always a joy.

This mid-length piece has encouraged me to seek out Elyan Smith's future work, and I hope it will be longer, because I'm sure he could give us an awesome novel. I would hope the setting remains as immediate, if perhaps choosing somewhere a little more forgiving next time - perhaps a rural area. They have problems too, not all fluffy lambs and sunshine :). Also, I would love to read a more conventional m/m story from him, much as I found this transgender one really good. Again, I'd love to see what Elyan could do with that.

I have given Portside five stars for the quality of the work. The subject wouldn't be one of my favourites, so its impact on me is quite an achievement from an obviously talented author.

(less)

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Jun 28, 2012 Dumbledore11214 rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay-romance, literary-fiction

I have not read that much fiction with the transgendered protagonists, so I was very eager to read this story. It is beatifully written and I ached for the main character's struggle to get what he wants because of who he is and liked that he finally went for it and hope that he will get a chance to develop a relationship with the character he seems to have a feeling for. I thought the ending was just about right - enough uncertainty and hope mixed together. What annoyed me though are the setting...more

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Jun 20, 2012 Jody rated it 3 of 5 stars

In some ways this is a very straight forward story while in others ways it's an intense yet slightly confusing look at a young man's journey to accepting his sexuality. Along the way you find an atmospheric story with descriptive scenery and realistic language that easily immerses you and adds an intriguing layer to this young man's journey.

With the exception of Iwan, the small cast of characters are hard to feel connected to since they're not fully developed and we see them in a very peripheral...more

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Jun 16, 2012 Jess rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: licking, meh, short, slow-build-up

I am kind of confused. I dont know if the main character is a female wanting to be a male or a hermaphrodite. I am usually very smart at figuring out subtexts but I might be in a strange mood and I missed something??? I guess I will have to reread the story to see if I can figure it out.

The setting was very evocative and the writing style showed beautiful imagery but I couldnt understand why the main character didnt explore his/hers/?? issues. I would have had a lot more emotional connection to...more

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Jul 23, 2012 Connie rated it 2 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m, i-want-my-time-back

I wonder if I was reading the wrong book or I was expecting something completely different from the blurb, as others seem to like what they got.
I can´t say the writing is anything but good. But honestly there was no story here.
A young man who watches way too much porn, doesn’t have a job still manages to get 120 GBP to pay for an escort, plus train and Hotel mind you, because he wants to blow someone and is too afraid of doing it to one of the guys, that usually do it for free, by the barracks.
H...more

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Jun 28, 2012 Bobbi Cinaede rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: gay, transgender

I have to be honest, this was a difficult read for me. The setting was rather ugly and depressing, a small-town on the verge of collapse, filled with people absolutely bereft of hope. The characters were a reflection of their environment, drifters and loners trapped, like the town itself, between their dreams and their vices.

And yet, Iwan somehow managed to work his way into my heart, begging my sympathy, and eventually earning my respect.

Portside is the story of a young man, addicted to gay por...more I have to be honest, this was a difficult read for me. The setting was rather ugly and depressing, a small-town on the verge of collapse, filled with people absolutely bereft of hope. The characters were a reflection of their environment, drifters and loners trapped, like the town itself, between their dreams and their vices.

And yet, Iwan somehow managed to work his way into my heart, begging my sympathy, and eventually earning my respect.

Portside is the story of a young man, addicted to gay porn and masturbation first, and to cigarettes and beer second. While he craves the touch of a certain young man down by the docks, his lack of experience leaves him reluctant to approach. Rather than claim the pleasures so freely available at home, he chooses to seek out a gay escort and pay for it in town, before returning home to accept those pleasures as an equal, rather than as an inexperienced virgin.

This is not what I would necessarily call an erotic read, but Iwan's hotel room rendezvous is extremely sexual. It is tentative and awkward, but also sincere in exploring his sexual hunger. Not content to be the submissive young virgin, he makes it clear what he wants, and then takes it. I quite enjoyed his sexual awakening, and even if I had hoped for it, his intimate revelation following the experience came as quite the surprise.

Yes, Iwan frustrated me with his complacency. Between his drinking and smoking, his strained relationship with his mother, and his refusal to take on the petty (yet paying) jobs available, I saw in him just another loser looking for an easy ride. I wanted to turn away, to dismiss him for his attitude, but there was something about his sense of sexual purpose that made him attractive. Part of me wished he would put half as much thought and effort into finding a job as he did finding a sexual partner, but when his secret was revealed . . . I suddenly understood.

I would love to say more about that aspect of the novel, but it is something to be explored and discovered naturally, as the author intended. It does not completely redeem Iwan, but it does help to explain his situation, and to validate his sincerity. It is still a rather gritty tale of people I am sure I would not want to associate with off the page, but it is also a tale of people making the best of a hopeless situation.

As published on Bending the Bookshelf(less)

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Jul 09, 2012 Kelly_Instalove rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: era-contemporary, theme-glbtq, format-novella-short, source-netgalley, riptide

First impressions: Dark and distant, but in a good way. And yes, I know that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but it's going to take me a few days to figure out how to describe where this story took me.

NOTE: I read a digital ARC provided by the publisher via NetGalley.

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Jul 19, 2012 Jennifer Lavoie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: ebooks, netgalley, transgender

Definitely not what I was expecting, but good nonetheless. It was much shorter than I thought it would be, but the premise intrigued me. A very fast read, Iwan is a complex character who is not who he seems to be. When his secret is revealed I did a double-take and was backtracking through my Kindle to see if I had read it right.

The ending leaves off with him finally getting the courage to do what he had been wanting to since the beginning of the story. And I like the last bit about television,...more

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Jul 05, 2012 Ilhem rated it 5 of 5 stars

Elyan Smith is a very talented writer : I loved how he could subtly give images and sounds of this town and its atmosphere of general resignation. I loved Iwan.

In Iwan's aimless wanderings with his friend Lyn, I recognized many young people, self made prisoners of the place they live in, their certainty that all options are closed and that there is no need to plot any future. I wanted to grab him, shake him and shout :"DREAM!!"
Really, how sad is it that you're young and you don't have foolish dr...more

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Feb 05, 2013 Victoria Zagar rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: favorites, trans, contemporary, m-m, own-read

Iwan doesn't have a whole lot to hope for in his future. He's unemployed in a dying town and has sexual needs he's too uncomfortable to pursue, even though Jonah at the docks has caught his eye. Afraid that Jonah might judge him by his body and not who he really is, he decides to pay for his first sexual experience in hopes it will give him the confidence to approach Jonah and ask for what he wants.

Portside is grim reality on paper. The hopelessness and despair of living in a dying town is depi...more Iwan doesn't have a whole lot to hope for in his future. He's unemployed in a dying town and has sexual needs he's too uncomfortable to pursue, even though Jonah at the docks has caught his eye. Afraid that Jonah might judge him by his body and not who he really is, he decides to pay for his first sexual experience in hopes it will give him the confidence to approach Jonah and ask for what he wants.

Portside is grim reality on paper. The hopelessness and despair of living in a dying town is depicted perfectly here. I really did feel like I was back home in the U.K. for a minute, which is a hard feat to pull off after seven years away. The setting is perfect for the story - Iwan wants to have oral sex with another man, but he's too afraid to ask Jonah, the man he's been eyeing up at the barracks. Discontent with porn, he finally takes the plunge and gathers 120 pounds to see a prostitute, who gives him the courage to finally take his desires down to the docks.

Although this is a story with a trans* protagonist, trans* issues are not its focus. It's a story about a young man wanting what most young men desire - sex - but being too afraid to ask for it. It's a story that a lot of people can relate to, regardless of gender or sexual orientation - we all remember being young and the awkwardness of our first sexual experience, and Iwan's is no different.

I liked Tommy as well. It was nice to see a positive depiction of a sex worker. Tommy could have taken advantage of the vulnerable Iwan but instead gives him a positive first sexual experience that boosts his confidence. I was glad this story didn't take the dark turn it could have.

Portside isn't about romance, it's about sex and coming of age. This might turn a few people away but for me it was a positive thing. Smith steers clear of the usual tropes and tells a tale that's honest in its depiction of poverty and sexuality. I highly recommend Portside to anybody looking for a story about real people and their struggles.

This review was cross-posted to Infinite Love.(less)

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Jul 09, 2012 Darci rated it 3 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, lgbt, modern-contemporary, netgalley, london, oh-the-angst, short-stories-novellas, uk, steamy

I wish this was longer. The writing is excellent at drawing the picture of the miserable life in a town past its prime.

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Nov 24, 2012 Christine Strowbridge rated it 5 of 5 stars

I didn't think I'd like reading a short story. I mean...what can possibly be said in 30 pages? How can characters be built in that short amount of time? But, what the heck, I thought I would give it a try. Was I ever blown away? I ate this short story up and loved every single word. The characters were so colorfully written. I felt I was watching a British movie. I could see the dock, the house Iwan lived in, the hotel room, Thomas, Jonah, Lyn, just...everything. I wouldn't have thought I could...more

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Sep 13, 2012 K.Z. Snow rated it 5 of 5 stars

No one can write grit like a Brit. I began realizing this truth when, as a teenager, I read Saturday Night and Sunday Morning and A Taste of Honey: A Play. And yet there's always an odd, determined buoyancy within the bleakness, like the optimism that ran throughout the movies Brief Encounter and The Full Monty, which are separated by 50 or 60 years.

This little novella is no exception. Wonderful stuff. Since I hadn't read any reviews prior to beginning Portside, I was thrown off my stride (but i...more

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Apr 14, 2013 Laylah rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-slash-m, gender-outlaw

Damn did this pack a punch in a short space. It's not a romance by any means, and I suspect Iwan wouldn't know what to do with a romance if one fell on him, but it's emotionally powerful all the same. His life in all its ground-down frustration and petty misery is vivid, and the author invests Iwan's achievement in this story with a lot of meaning despite how ordinary the act itself is. Literary realism meets unflinching erotica? Apparently it's more likely than you might think.

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Nov 26, 2012 G.B. Gordon added it

Craft meets art in a perfect union. Brilliantly written, this story is short only in the number of pages. In every other respect it goes a long way and is so full -- of imagery, of emotions, of detail, of relevance that it might have burst its format at the seams were it not plotted to such a fine point. The setting is as bleak as they come, but amazingly the story, though utterly unsentimental, is not. A rare privilege to read.

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May 16, 2012 Aleksandr Voinov added it

Shelves: edited-beta-ed-feedbacked

Atmospheric story about confidence, a bit of identity, and coming into one's own. The trans* content simmers in the background - one of the few books where the trans* identity is not the issue but a trans guy actually struggles with similar things as a cisgendered male. Check out the excerpt on the website - for me, Elyan Smith is a major discovery.

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Aug 11, 2012 Sylvia rated it 5 of 5 stars

Brilliant book. A very vivid description of a dying town. I could practically smell the salt in the air and hear the seagulls wheeling overhead. I'm slightly in awe of Elyan Smith's writing; every word is perfectly chosen. Smith is a beautiful writer, and I look forward to reading more of his work in the future.

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Jun 18, 2012 Nicci rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m-romance

Rating: 3.5 stars

I was drawn to the well written and evocative descriptions of the story setting. Interesting premise on gender identity and sexual orientation. I actually find myself reading non-fic articles on transgender.

Full Review: http://twlibreviews.com/2012/06/revie...

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May 26, 2012 Adara rated it 5 of 5 stars

This was an excellent short of a guy in a small portside town who is too scared to suck dick at the local haunt because he's in the wrong body and doesn't want someone getting the wrong idea. So instead he pays for a rentboy in London, spending a lot of money he doesn't really have for the safety and courage of anonymity.

Iwan has a great voice, as does his friend Lyn. Half of the story is the setup of the two of them around town, Lyn encouraging him to just go do it down by the docks where the l...more

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Jul 19, 2012 Dlee rated it 4 of 5 stars

I felt like I could see the town, see it dying right in front of my eyes. And see the futility of the lives of the people who lived there. Despite that I wasn't ready to leave when the last page was "turned." Ms. Smith is an author that I'll look forward to.

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Jun 18, 2012 Kassandra rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: m-m-or-gay-lit

100% happy that I took a chance and read this wonderful short. MC is completely engaging and the world building was spot on. Besides how can I not like a man that drinks Strongbow ;)

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Aug 26, 2012 Hearts On Fire Reviews added it

Reviewed by: Cat
Genre: M/M
Rated: 3 hearts

Check out the review at: Hearts On Fire Reviews

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Nov 25, 2012 Caroline The HEA Lover rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: 2012, novella-short

Hum wow. It's a very different book. Different from anything I've read so far that is. It's super hot. Very hard to describe. Just wow.

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Oct 28, 2012 Helen rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: short-story, contemporary-lgbtq

Really atmospheric and well written short story about a trans man. It revolves around his first time with another man.

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Dec 05, 2012 Carey rated it 4 of 5 stars

Really good...I could feel the gloom and hopelessness of the setting and characters very clearly. Good resolution. A well crafted short story...I'd like to read more from this author.

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Jul 02, 2012 Rebekah rated it 5 of 5 stars

Wow, can't wait to read more from this author.

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About Elyan Smith

Elyan Smith lives in the southwest of the UK. He works in research and writes in his free time: before work, after work and on the endless train journeys around the country.

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