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Perfect Daughters: Adult Daughters of Alcoholics

3.99 of 5 stars 3.99  ·  rating details  ·  241 ratings  ·  27 reviews
This new edition of Perfect Daughters, a pivotal book in the ACoA movement, identifies what differentiates the adult daughters of alcoholics from other women.

When this groundbreaking book first appeared over ten years ago, Dr. Ackerman identified behavior patterns shared by daughters of alcoholics. Adult daughters of alcoholics-"perfect daughters" -operate from a base of h
Paperback, 350 pages
Published July 1st 2002 by Health Communications (first published October 1st 1989)
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(showing 1-30 of 515)
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This was an extremely hard book to read, hard meaning painful. I thought it would be kind of a self-help book for me, but I don't think it really was. I definitely related to so many women mentioned in it, I read their letters and thought they could have been written by me, that's what I went through, I experienced the same pains. However, the book didn't really reveal anything to me that I didn't already know. I made peace with the past and accepted it (for the most part).
I think this book shou
Kelly Renee
This book was very helpful for me in my own personal journey of understanding who I am and what has contributed to my development. Now that this book has helped me, I intend to use it as a resource in my future practice as a clinical mental health counselor.
As a clinical therapist and adult daughter, I was both informed and deeply moved by this well documented book. Dr. Ackerman hit a home run with this one.
I wish I had found this before starting my recovery six years ago. Full of wonderful advice which would help guide a woman towards recovery.
April Forker
Everything about this book screamed my name. A definite good read for anyone who is a daughter of an alcoholic/addict.
Keith Bryan
This was an excellent book on boosting self-esteem; it was also good at motivation and self starting. It lacked, however, in giving practical advice on acting while in a destructive situation or relationship with your parent. It is focused on those who have grown up completely and moved out from the home that hurt them so much. If you have moved out and are a true adult in that sense, this book will be rather helpful, but if you are seeking advice on what to do while IN the relationship and not ...more
originally read aug 2012 - Second time reading this. A much better approach to the issue of codependence, instead of labeling every slightly nurturing aspect of communication as immediately suspect, it gives you warning signs to watch out for. I wont lie, it sucked rereading it too. You always hope you were dealing with the big awkward things of life better than you did before, and sure, maybe you really were doing alright... (I'm going to use a metaphor here that sounds odd but makes total sens ...more
Very good book that helps support individuals and families living with the effects of having a parent who was an alcoholic. Many of the principles taught will be helpful to any family who has a family member struggling with an addiction. It was enlightening to see that family members need not be an alcoholic to demonstrate the effects of being stuck in the pattern of addiction patterns. The patterns get passed down through generations of family if those patterns are not brought up and looked at ...more
Juanita Johnson
Great reading for Adult Daughters. I recognized myself. But not enough about how to do the work to heal. Robert Ackerman tells you to heal, shows you the way, but in trying to stay away from too much 12 step writing, he leaves a deficit in where to actually go. All in all though, it's an excellent beginning for those who have grown up wondering why they are the way they are. Ackerman also does a good job of saying that all those skills learned as an adult daughter, also means that you are good a ...more
If you are an adult daughter who grew up in an alcoholic family, you will probably see yourself in this book. And you will probably understand your behavior more after reading it. I took a long time to read it, so I could think about each chapter and how it may or may not relate to my life.

Growing up in this kind of family often leads to isolation. You may think that no one knows "the trouble I've seen." But clearly, as this book illustrates, we "Adult Daughters" are not alone. I found this help
this book was hard for me to read because it hit so close to home. I read it in undergrad when first started exploring adult children of alcoholic literature. I think I threw the book across the room a few times! I have been wanting to reread in the last couple of years but need to get up the nerve again. I recommend to any adult daughter of an alcoholic parent. It was very helpful and revealing into certain aspects of my personality and actions.
Having had multiple friends who grew up in alcoholic homes, I read this to try to understand more about their experience and what that must have been like for them. I don't know that I could rate it since I can't speak to how true this was for them, but I did feel like it helped me see some of the challenges they've had to face.
Sep 27, 2012 Jaclyn rated it 5 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: daughters of alcoholics
As a daughter of an alcoholic, this was a fascinating book that really spoke to me. It opened my eyes to why I act the way I do in some situations, why I am an unrelenting perfectionist and my greatest critic, why I am so people-pleasing, etc. I would definitely recommend this to any woman who grew up in an alcoholic family.
I related to a lot of the traits and problems described in this book, though I don't have much trouble with trust or intimacy. I thought, overall, the book was a good description of what it can be like to be female and grow up with an alcoholic parent.
Salina Gonzales Frazier
A little preachy and godly for my taste, but once I was able to get past that I found this book immensely helpful. I have only recently begun researching "Adult Children of Alcoholics" and this book was significant insight into my own behaviors.
More self-help.

These books seem to be more useful for the person who has grown up with an active alcoholic in the home. Although I identify with some of the characteristics, I can't identify with the reasons for the characteristics.

I would recommend this book to any adult daughter of an alcoholic. It was recommended to me by my shrink, and really helped me understand a number of things about myself and my personality.
Overall it is a good book with a lot of information that an adult daughter can relate to and utilize in recovery. Towards the end it got a bit repetitive.
Sara Ann
A good read for someone just beginning to learn about the topic. Additional reading of other texts will be needed to develop a more complete understanding.
Kt marshmallow Marsh
Learning about what traits I've picked up due to my childhood environment and how to relearn healthier ways of operating.
Brad Mcdonald
Very helpful for understanding how to better relate to adult daughters of alcoholics, and their experiences.
This is about women who struggled with their childhoods and their parents' drinking.
This book wasn't helpful to me, but I could see how it could be helpful to some.
Jan 09, 2015 Jodell added it
Shelves: self-help
The only thing that worked for me were the quotes at end of each chapter..
My parents are not actually alcoholics, so there was a disconnect for me.
ok, just not for me
Such a true book!
Kelly Kendall
Kelly Kendall marked it as to-read
May 22, 2015
Kelli Santistevan
Kelli Santistevan marked it as to-read
May 22, 2015
Sarah marked it as to-read
May 21, 2015
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