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Tentacle Death Trip

by Jordan Krall (Goodreads Author)

4.2 of 5 stars 4.20 · rating details · 44 ratings · 11 reviews

Five drivers. One race. Millions of tentacles. It's the year 2025 in the neon-colored nuclear wasteland that was once the United States of America. The remaining inhabitants are at the mercy of mutants, freaks, marauders, gangs, and the last millionaire in the country, the mysterious Mr. Silver. Now, five drivers must compete in a life-or-death race that will determine the...more

Paperback, 224 pages

Published April 9th 2012 by Eraserhead Press

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Apr 24, 2012 Dan Schwent rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: bizarro, 2012, cool-covers, books-by-authors-i-have-interviewed, great-titles

2025 - The last millionaire in the country recruits five of the best race drivers to compete in a deadly race across New Jersey with the fate of the world hanging in the balance. The prize: the winner will be allowed to live in the recently risen city of R'lyeh for the rest of his days...

I say this every time but this may be my favorite Jordan Krall book yet. While a Cthulhu-laden homage to Deathrace 2000 at first glance, Tentacle Death Trip rises above its roots and delivers one hell of a ride....more

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Apr 17, 2012 Mike Kleine rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: to-read

TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is Jordan Krall’s personal homage to every B-movie out there about a post-apocalyptic future with cars and crazy drivers or more notably, DEATH RACE 2000. Here’s the ultra quick synopsis: “five drivers... one race… [and] millions of tentacles.” Or… Let’s just go ahead and make a few comparisons here: TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is TWISED METAL meets MAD MAX meets DEATH RACE 2000 (duh) meets CALL OF CTHULU meets HEAVY METAL meets FALLOUT meets everything post-apocalyptic ever meets ev...more TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is Jordan Krall’s personal homage to every B-movie out there about a post-apocalyptic future with cars and crazy drivers or more notably, DEATH RACE 2000. Here’s the ultra quick synopsis: “five drivers... one race… [and] millions of tentacles.” Or… Let’s just go ahead and make a few comparisons here: TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is TWISED METAL meets MAD MAX meets DEATH RACE 2000 (duh) meets CALL OF CTHULU meets HEAVY METAL meets FALLOUT meets everything post-apocalyptic ever meets every the-world-has-gone-to-shit scenario. And here’s the strange thing: Krall manages to take an already bizarre and familiar plot (come on, seriously: a death race involving a bunch of weirdos driving souped-up cars in the future? That’s strange…) and make it interesting, in a totally unique Krall-way. In TENTACLE DEATH TRIP, it’s the year 2025 and some sort of apocalypse happened—this is all revealed in some sort of a paragraph-long intro—fine. Anymore back story and things would start to become tedious.

TENTACLE DEATH TRIP also isn’t the most original of stories—but it doesn’t try to be—and what makes it more interesting are the five rather exceptional racers: Samson, the mysterious self-vindicating family man driving a custom built Ligotti Turbo Z-23; Junko, the Japanese transvestite sex slave with a unique sense of pride and an appetite for his/her/ze(?) own hair driving the souped-up 1987 Honda Civic Si; Gabby Peppermint, the blond psycho with a cellphone and pink sledgehammer driving the Camaro; Mama Hell, the right-wing religious zealot wearing a shawl made of flesh covered in red tattoos driving a souped-up minivan and Drac Dunwich (truly the most bizarre of them all) the man from the Bronx with a skull made of glass and gasoline and an uncanny sense of honor driving the convertible with tentacles (yep, that’s him on the cover).

But don’t take any of this too seriously—as a lot is left unexplained, and for good reason too. It’s almost like the Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez collaboration that ultimately became the grindhouse-fest that was PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF. And in a similar vein, Jordan Krall goes all out here with TENTACLE DEATH TRIP and writes a B-movie/grindhouse-worthy tale about a death race in a post-apocalyptic future.

The prose in TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is matter-of-fact and very to-the-point and anything but ambivalent and sort of far from being poetic; rather, it’s something akin to conversational story-telling, almost like an oral narrative. And in the strange and fascinating world that is TENTACLE DEATH TRIP, Krall doesn’t restrict himself to the use of descriptors for the surroundings; rather, he forces the racers to crash and skid into just about anything that isn’t nailed to the ground—in true DEATH RACE 2000 fashion.

All bizarro-ness aside though, the most interesting thing about TENTACLE DEATH TRIP—really—are the five racers and here, I’m not even talking about their personalities or their cars or their special quirks. It’s remarkable, really, how Krall manages to fuse five fascinating and out-of-the-ordinary origin stories for reach of these characters within the story of TENTACL DEATH TRIP. And yes, while the world had still completely gone to shit, Krall attempts to give us these characters who (for some reason or another) think they are normal in the most non-normal of ways. And ultimately—and this became more obvious toward the end of the story—the overall story isn’t supposed to be much more than something fun and liberating—like some sort of escape—and honestly, TENTACLE DEATH TRIP doesn’t try to be something it isn’t. This isn’t something deep or intellectual or philosophical, and it isn’t trying to offer some deep message about life or the world we live in right now. It’s just very good mindless fun.

Krall’s imagination runs wild in TENTACLE DEATH TRIP as you’ll quickly find out about things like: the Scrutumi Goliath and Hoghead Heaven and the tornado made of teeth and the Gears and Tomato Joe and Enzo and Mr. Silver and Hell’s Fish Market and water coffins and Lee Basatan and Bowsman and the bikers (who are also Tomato Joe’s men) and Carol and Jack and Nate and Jane Mary and a handful of midgets and bare-chested men in torn denim jeans and the characters of COP and SLAVE and mushroom cigarettes (otherwise known as tcho) and the year 2025 and about the tentacles coming out from under Drac Dunwich’s car and dried horseshoe crab and shoe-leather moonshine and the Zone of Dead Roads and the Zoners and Lord Bing Bong and Chaps and Ryan and Mario and Paulo and the nuclear holocaust of 2015 and fabric that melds to your body and all the tentacle sex and Cobra Canfield and hot meat-water and Lee Basatan’s crab and Simon Revair and the Church of the Starry Engines and the Dunwich clan and scratch houses and Xnoybis IV and a spatilomancer and a vacuum-woman and Atlantic City and Sabbath and R’lyeh and Dogunville and LeRoux and pistols made of flesh and bone and Atlantis and old Tom Clancy novels and the spectators (or audience, as some like to call them) and Marsh and Trash and Ogre and Goehrig’s and Mayo and Ingmar and Savage Freddie.

And yes, Krall’s bizarro trademarks are still present in TENTACLE DEATH TRIP, there’s: squid, crab, perspiration of some kind, feet, midgets, phalluses, hallucinogenic drugs and hallucinogenic dreams, ultra-violence, internal monologues, areolas, pancake references, middle fingers, a wooden donkey and then a cartoon donkey, ancient texts and tomes, and public defecation. It’s like a lexicon for everything Krall, and then some more! And, in classic Krall fashion, the story comes complete with an intro, a prologue and then an epilogue to seal everything off.

Unfortunately, with everything great, there are also some not-so-great moments. For instance, a few passages leave a lot to be desired. There were bits where I honestly wanted to know more about what was happening. Like, why isn’t there more about Hell’s Fish Market or the water coffins, for instance? And Lee Basatan, one of the more interesting side-characters, I thought, why isn’t there more of him? And then the cannibalistic Christians? All of these things were mentioned in passing which would be fine but with texts like TENTACLE DEATH TRIP, there is always just too much stuff going on and it would be impossible to cover everything, which is why I understand Krall when certain things are only mentioned in passing but, since there is always the need to explain certain things, like how and why everything is the way it is and who these people are—which Krall does fairly well—there were moments when the exposition felt a bit hurried and truthfully, a little tacky. Like, certain things seemed to happen just because they were happening…For no apparent reason—with no real explanation—and while this can be done fairly well and can seem believable in certain cases (especially in a universe like that of TENTACLE DEATH TRIP,) a handful of sections feel forced and finally, read like wasted potential, really. Tons of great ideas that, in theory, sound awesome when put into a synopsis but then—that’s it—it’s all really great when summarized and what we’re missing from the text is the depth and detail necessary to make it all seem more authentic and really, interesting—so, TENTACLE DEATH TRIP comes with a few moments of not-so-great execution.

Aside from all that TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is an excellent what-if story about a future that doesn’t seem too far off (2025) and all the characters and situations and cars make for a truly wonderful read. I remember Krall talking about TENTACLE DEATH TRIP back in 2009/2010 and after reading the synopsis, I was immediately hooked: DEATH RACE 2000 with tentacles. And I can honestly say that after having read the book (in a single sitting, which I very rarely do) you won’t regret reading TENTACLE DEATH TRIP. TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is the feel-good spring-time bizarro post-apocalyptic blockbuster about cars and tentacles you’ve been waiting for all year.
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Apr 28, 2012 Nick Cato rated it 4 of 5 stars

It's 2035, ten years after World War III unleashed nuclear, chemical, and bio terrors across the globe. America is now a neon wasteland populated by mutated people, animals, and con-artists who still know how to capitalize on any situation.

Mr. SIlver is one such shady character. He organizes an anything-goes car race from Jersey City down to Atlantic City after hand-picking five of the country's best racers. The winner is promised plenty of food and provisions, as well as residency on R'lyeh, a...more It's 2035, ten years after World War III unleashed nuclear, chemical, and bio terrors across the globe. America is now a neon wasteland populated by mutated people, animals, and con-artists who still know how to capitalize on any situation.

Mr. SIlver is one such shady character. He organizes an anything-goes car race from Jersey City down to Atlantic City after hand-picking five of the country's best racers. The winner is promised plenty of food and provisions, as well as residency on R'lyeh, a sparkling new city that has recently emerged from the depths off the Jersey coast.

The contestants are Samson, a man bent on finding the gang who raped his wife and kidnapped his son; Junko, a former slave who's adrenaline is pumped to be in his first race by himself; Gabby Peppermint, a spoiled rotten girl who murdered her family on her sweet sixteenth birthday; Mama Hell, a foul-mouthed holy roller; and Drac Dunwich, whose gasoline-filled crystal skull is almost as eerie to behold as his tentacle-jacked hot rod. Each driver has a car rigged with various weapons, Mama Hell's saw-blade equipped mini-van being one of the coolest.

During the race, the drivers come across mutants, religious cults, strange animals, weird roadways, and endless, violent confrontations with each other. Samson also rescues a young boy who becomes a pivotal part of the story. Each character's background is colorful and is revealed at a nice pace.

The first half of TENTACLE DEATH TRIP reads like a stranger version of DEATH RACE 2000, and for a while I wondered if this would be nothing more than a bizarro version of the classic cult film. But Krall kicks it into high gear during the second half, making his story so much more. There's double crosses, plenty of well-placed humor, non-stop action, and during the psychadelic thrill-ride of a finale, we even get a father/son moment of (literal) bonding that's all heart.

With even more surprises not mentioned here, TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is easily one of Krall's finest--and funnest--offerings. Buckle up...(less)

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Jul 22, 2012 Craig rated it 4 of 5 stars

If you like books or movies about death races, you will definitely find this one entertaining. There's plenty of blood and violence (and tentacles).

The story is set around a race between five racers through a post-nuclear apocalyptic New Jersey to the finish line in Atlantic City where the winner shall claim a very special prize--to be not only the business partner of the race director, Mr Silver, but also to be one of two residents (the other being Mr Silver himself) of the city of R'lyeh that...more

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May 22, 2013 Jeremy Maddux rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Cannonball Run meets Cthulhu.

Warning, this book contains explicit language, graphic violence, sexual situations, a guy with a glass head, Lovecraftian menaces from beyond angled infinity, a sweet sixteen party, Mama Hell, skinning people alive, white slavery, fecal flowers, crab faced triangles, man merging with machine, man merging with crab, the Abgrund Aschaum, religious cults who worship engines, nuclear wasteland mutants whose flesh makes for good food and drugs, chambers made of lizard ski...more

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Oct 25, 2012 Rob Harris rated it 4 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: bizarro-fiction, paperback, kindle

It's almost always fun to read a Jordan Krall book (the exception being when it is sad), and TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is no exception. Samson, the main protagonist of the story, is in a race against 4 other strange people through New Jersey. The object is to win the race, and also not die. Straight forward stuff then?

Not quite, because Krall does what Krall does and veers sharply left not long after the engines start. Rather than have a straightforward race where each driver is trying to kill the oth...more

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Aug 24, 2012 Sam McCanna rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: small-press-bizarro-horror-etc, books, favorites, signed

Fantastic Cult-Movie Action From Jordan Krall!

I have to admit, when I first heard about this book, my initial thought was "how the hell do you turn a car race movie into a novel?"

Well, Krall has totally pulled it off, making it every bit as speedy and action-packed as the movies that inspired it, while also adding a whole new level of character development that you don't always see in those source movies.

The story takes place post-apocalypse, and involves a group of drivers in fully armored and...more

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Mar 14, 2013 Andrew rated it 4 of 5 stars

Sprung from cages on highway 666 TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is a high-octane homage to death races,road warriors, and occultist. While Krall's supercharge story covers the familiar roads of pulp entertainment, he detours down his own misery mile. Behind the pyrotechnics are the reoccurring "Krallian" themes,cities in ruins and ruinous religious fathers. Well done tale that's twisted as a car crash.

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Jun 20, 2012 Paul rated it 5 of 5 stars

Truly inspired bizarro mash-up of "Death Race 2000" (the good one) and Lovecraft. The book races along at a brisk pace, taking the drivers and the readers through imaginative and nightmarish post-apocalyptic/Lovecraftian landscapes. Especially enjoyable are the many side-trips (flashbacks) that fill in the back-story and motivations for the characters. A strong finish grips the reader viscerally as well as emotionally. Good stuff.

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Apr 14, 2012 William III rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Jordan Krall's TENTACLE DEATH TRIP is the literary equivalent to someone stomping your head against a curb and breaking all your teeth out. Krall proves himself to be bizarro's king of visual nightmares. Tomato Joe, motherf***er. You need this.

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Jan 04, 2013 Justin rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: bizarro, horror

Tentacle Death Trip follows five racers in a post apocalyptic race...TO THE DEATH! Death Race 2000 is one of my favorite movies so it's pretty easy to say that I loved this book. Then add on the fact that it has a heavy Lovecraftian influence...Yowzah!

There are plenty of unique characters and interesting back stories to keep readers engrossed. Inventive landscapes, strange aquatic blasphemies and I'm pretty sure there was even some neon meat.

It's about time someone wrote a book about a death rac...more

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Jun 27, 2012 April (CSI:Librarian) rated it 3 of 5 stars

As a fan of the Death Race films and Lovecraft, I was totally excited when I read about this book and bought it immediately. Most of it was great in terms of the concept, the world, or the characters. Sadly, the ending just didn’t work for me. I’m sure it’s my own fault for having certain expectations, but them’s the breaks.

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Mar 01, 2013 Entropy rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

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Apr 21, 2013 Rob rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

Shelves: bizzaro, prime-loan, horror, read-in-2013

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Shelves: bizarro

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About Jordan Krall

Books include:

TENTACLE DEATH TRIP
FISTFUL OF FEET
MOTEL MAN
KING SCRATCH
BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS
PIECEMEAL JUNE
SQUID PULP BLUES
NEWLY SHAVEN SAINT
UNFRUITFUL WORKS
PRELUDE TO SPACE RAPE!
SQUID KILLS
THE PISTOL BURPS
ALL POEMS MUST DIE
FALSE MAGIC KINGDOM
BAD ALCHEMY
THE GOG AND MAGOG BUSINESS
YOUR CITIES, YOUR TOMBS

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