Love Isn't Supposed to Hurt
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Love Isn't Supposed to Hurt

3.94 of 5 stars 3.94  ·  rating details  ·  271 ratings  ·  54 reviews
“I felt like I was being shredded... one painful, hateful word at a time.” Like millions of other women, CNN’s HLN and truTV’s In Session anchor Christi Paul blamed herself for the emotional abuse heaped on her by her first husband, whose violent, profanity-laced tirades left her feeling as though she had no value, no self-worth, and nowhere to turn for help. Then one day,...more
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Published June 1st 2012 by Oasis Audio (first published May 18th 2012)
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Add 8 years of marriage and 2 kids, take out some of the names he called her and (maybe)the infidelity and this could be my story (When I filed for divorce I said I did not want to be his emotional punching bag anymore - Christi uses this exact term!). I could relate to so much of this there are almost 50 pages turned down and twice that many passages highlighted. Even the parts I could not relate to, things I did not experience helped me to decipher what I have experienced. It is easy to get ca...more
Can I give this book a 10 star rating? I devoured it front to back cover in less than 6 hours. I absolutely loved this book. Her story was so affirming and empowering and I couldn't help but to empathize and relate to so much of her pain. I loved how she clearly referenced God and how he didn't design us to be abused. She also made it very clear why victims just don't leave. I loved her analogy of being an emotional punching bag. There was just so much about this book I really enjoyed; I closed...more
A brutally honest book about the triumph and hardships of overcoming emotional abuse.

Christi Paul tells her personal story of suffering and overcoming emotional abuse, that came in the form of someone she loved.

Love Isn't Supposed to Hurt was a well written read that was engaging, yet hard to read for me personally because of the nature of the content. As I read my heart was breaking for Christi, and it reminded me of how hard it is to stand up for yourself when you are being hurt. The book fol...more
I have always enjoyed watching Christi Paul on TruTv. I was excited when I found out that she was such a strong, genuine Christian. Her story of being in an abusive relationship and how she got out was truly inspirational.

The book was very therapeutic for me. While my situation is quite different from Christi's there were a lot of things I could relate to and it was so helpful to see how she coped with everything.

I highlighted A LOT of passages throughout the book but here is one exceptionally g...more
The true life story of the author's marriage to an emotionally draining and abusive husband. Isolated from her family and friends she was drawn to him by his charming yet tempering personality. Challenges and dangers she faced at his hand led her to make sensible decisions on the quest of finding something meaningful and precious in her life. Through it all God is faithful and true.

My heart went out to the author for what she had endured. The choices she made has lessons and sound advice for al...more
Angie Parker
I was very disappointed in the contents and couldn't believe the publisher let her get by listing her exspouse with an anonymous name of "Justin" when they are both public figures. An everyday person can get by doing something like that but public figures - no! SMDH! Christi kept repeating herself over and over in every chapter. If you erased all the redundancy in the book you would come up with a solid 1 chapter book. I am sorry for what she had to endure but she kept saying over and over in ev...more
I appreciate that the author wrote this book. A teenage girl that I care about seems remarkably willing to date boys that treat her poorly, and this book helped me understand better where she might be coming from emotionally. The author explained how she meet and married a man who was verbally abusive, what it took for her to leave the situation, and how she healed afterward. She includes some questions in the back that she found helpful to think through.

The author was very clear that verbal abu...more
Trying to find a book for a loved one going through a painful relationship that offers heartfelt insight & encouraging biblical principles is difficult. Christi's experience & hope conveyed to the reader was just what I was looking for.
Ms. Paul tells a compelling story and I feel for her. I spent much of the book feeling like I was watching a horror movie screaming at the tv- don't answer the phone/door. There is more abuse here than just someone mentally beating someone else down- he verbally and physically terrorizes her- even if he isn't beating her up. This doesn't seem to be honestly acknowledged.

Ms. Paul either needed a better editor or a better ghost writer. Her reactions to the events that take place and how she feels...more
Alycia Morales
Aug 30, 2012 Alycia Morales rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: abused women, counselors, women
Recommended to Alycia by: Review Copy
Shelves: non-fiction, memoir
“I believe serving God means being true to who He made you to be. It means allowing yourself to feel and be cognizant of the God-given desires stirring inside you.” – Christi Paul

A Little of My Personal Testimony:

In 1984, in the middle of the school year, my parents moved us across the state of New York to a new home in the Catskill Mountains. Leaving friends behind, I looked forward to making new ones. As a third grader, I never expected others may not need a new friend. In the small-town schoo...more
Emily Savageau
Although I have not had an experience like Christi I found this book very insightful. I've seen friends in similar relationships and it gave me a better understanding of what they went through. I think anyone could take something away from this book.

Here are a few quotes I liked:

"A safe partner builds you up. A dangerous one tears you down." pg 162
"'You know the only difference between us and God? God doesn't think he's us.' ...Who among us hasn't tried to play God with our lives, deluding ours...more
Rianna B
I relate to 50-75% of this book. It was clearly a God-incidence that I saw the tweet that linked to the webpage talking about this book. I certainly didn't expect it to have my EXACT thoughts on what I was going through at the time it was happening & the struggles I had with staying & leaving.. and "walking on eggshells" or "dodging landmines." I love how totally honest she is in the writing. I also loved the new insights & revelations she received. I actually highlighted at least 1/...more
I have walked with a couple of girlfriends who were in relationships where they experienced varying degrees of abuse.

I took up's free offer of Christi Paul's eBook, "Love Isn't Supposed to Hurt" and I am glad I did. As I read I felt as though I was with Christi as she went through the four years with Justin. More than that, I could so easily have replaced Christi's name in the book, with any of my girlfriends' names and the story would still be true. Her style of writing invite...more
Once I picked this book up, I couldn’t put it down. It simply broke my heart to know that some women go through life not knowing true love, because they don’t have the guts to leave abusive husbands. I am thankful that in the end, after many wrong turns and mistakes, the heroine finally breaks away from the man to whom she had trusted her heart.

“Hope in God is action. And hope does not disappoint us”. Christi’s life line during her darkest days was a hope and complete reliance upon God. It is sa...more
A inspiring story of how the author managed to break free of an abusive marriage. My only criticism is that although she makes a very good point about emotional abuse being just as real and traumatic as physical abuse, she denies that she was physically abused, just because her husband never actually hit her. However, he shoved her up against a wall and held her by the neck, threatening to bash it in, and held her arms so tightly that she had bruises the next day. I'd call that physical abuse ev...more
Christi Paul shares from a very deep place in her heart, I can truly appreciate that. This is a book about a relationship gone bad, a marriage that really never should have been. There are many lessons to be learned here, if you feel uneasy about a relationship, you should probably move on; and if a person shows you a disturbing side of their personality, see it for what it REALLY is, and again, move on. If you find yourself in a bad relationship/marriage that never should have been, have the co...more
Rebecca Smith
Love Isn't Supposed to Hurt....but sometimes it does.

Wonderful book. I am a survivor of physical and verbal abuse. This book really touched my heart. I surely found some gold nuggets to use in my life. Thank you.
bonnie stevenson

What an excellent book. Very well written. Very helpful in giving insight for dealing with these things in my life. Especially when it is so similar to how my married life mirrored.
Kevin Travis
I enjoyed the book. While there isn't any turmoil in my marriage (we've been married for just over 4 months), I've known Christi for a long time and I have always admired her. That's why I wanted to read her book.

I admire her even more now. Having lived in her hometown, I knew some of the people she was talking about, especially P.A. It brought back a flood of memories.

Her willingness to open up her heart and soul to discuss difficult times was really brave. I know many people are going to benef...more
A difficult book to read, but an important one that exposes abuse and the difficult decisions that must be made in the midst of it.
What a brave book for Ms. Paul to write. This took a lot of courage. It was hard at times for me to get through. Not because it was bad but because it was heavy and raw at times. The only thing that I didn't like about this book is that I found it to be preachy at times which wouldn't have bothered me if it had been edited down some because I like some of that but it was just a bit too often and she used the word "we" instead of "I" which took me away from the narrative. This is a great book for...more
Becky Carothers
This book gave me wonderful insight to dealing with verbal abuse. Christi lays out her struggles in a 4 year marriage of verbal abuse that is very thought provocing. Even though my verbal abuse did not come from my husband but a family member it really opened my eyes to the long term effect it has on whoever has to deal with it. She finds peace with her decisions and life in the end and finds true happiness but says she could not have done that without going through her first marriage.

Very well...more
Wow! I could really relate to this book and what she went through. Verbal/emotional abuse is a serious, painful issue in so many relationships and it's often ignored. I suffered under it for over 15 yrs before a friend finally helped see that I was crumbling emotionally and falling into depression. I did skim over several pages where the author was describing all of her feelings and realizations only because I felt they were quite verbose and I get lost in all the deep thoughts.
Briana Myricks
Christi's story was so relatable, I feel like there's more highlighted passages than not. Her experience mirrored mine in a lot of places, and I'm happy to say that her words pushed me to do what was necessary. I'm happy that her story has a happy ending and I'm sure mine will too. A must read for anyone who is in a relationship or getting out of one that did not serve them.
Even if you've never been through an abusive relationship this book has some words of wisdom for just about any woman going through tough situations. It's a christian book so of course that goes throughout the whole thing. It has some great quotes in it also. I can't even tell you how often I used the highlight feature in the book to go back and read parts of it later. I randomly found it as a freebie on amazon but it was still worth reading.
Well I will say everyone's story is their own so I have to respect that.
I read this book because of all the great reviews it got from celebrities and people that "every woman should read this book" and "inspiring and brutal honesty"

Not what I expected its 273 pages of how she turned to god and her faith and forgiveness in her ex husband for years of an unhappy marriage full of verbal abuse, drinking and promises to change!
Excellent book about being in and getting out of an abusive relationship, the damage it can do to your self-esteem, and the road to recovery. Many things the author said in this book hit home for me on many levels from childhood to adulthood. While the author writes from a Christian perspective, her words ring true for those of any faith or belief system. Thank you, Christi, for writing this.
Marcie Miller
A personal story of overcoming emotional abuse from a husband. Searching out God's answer on how to face decisions. Not that I believe alcholicism is a disease, but that drinking starts with sin and can esculate to deeper sin. We are the one that make the choice of what we put in our mouth.
Although I loved reading Christi's story, I was not prepared for this book to be a "self-help" kind of book, with exercises, etc. It is billed as a memoir, but it was too much of a pop psychology book for me to get too excited about it. Having said that, Christi is my favorite anchor on In Session, and hearing her story made me only like her more.
Karinna Dawbin
Everyone should read this book! It answers that age old question why do bad things happen to good people. It speaks specifically about verbal abuse she suffered from her first husband, but the bigger picture is finding value in ourselves, overcoming the obstacles life throws at us and seeing that with God, all things are possible.
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Christi Paul is an award-winning journalist and national weekday news anchor for CNN’s HLN and TruTv’s In Session. In her eight years at CNN, she has covered a wide variety of stories, including two presidential elections, the Virginia Tech shootings, the Casey Anthony murder trial, the Warren Jeffs polygamy trial, and the Conrad Murray trial. She has also interviewed such noted figures as Senator...more
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“And there it is again -- that profound lesson about choices. Once we make them, we're tied to them, and consequences will follow us. But we also need to know that each day we get the chance to choose all over again. And believe me, there's hope in that” 3 likes
“Isn't that how it always seems to work? One day you wake up, look around and wonder, Where am I? Whose life am I living, an how did I get here? Little pieces of the real you keep fitting away in someone else's wind until the you that you've always known has disappeared. It happens so gradually you don't even notice it at first.” 2 likes
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