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All Gone
by
Alex Witchel
A daughter’s longing love letter to a mother who’s slipped beyond reach.
Just past seventy, Alex Witchel’s smart, adoring,ultracapable mother began to exhibit undeniablesigns of dementia. Her smart, adoring, ultracapabledaughter reacted as she’d been raised: If somethingwas broken, they would fix it. But as medical reality undid that hope, and her mother continued the tort...more
Just past seventy, Alex Witchel’s smart, adoring,ultracapable mother began to exhibit undeniablesigns of dementia. Her smart, adoring, ultracapabledaughter reacted as she’d been raised: If somethingwas broken, they would fix it. But as medical reality undid that hope, and her mother continued the tort...more
Hardcover, 224 pages
Published
September 27th 2012
by Riverhead Hardcover
(first published September 21st 2012)
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"All Gone" is a beautifully written mother-daughter love story, heartfelt and moving, but as a whole a bit thin. Perhaps I was expecting more details about her mother's dementia and its progression, while the bulk of the book was about the author's life with her mother growing up. Like her mother, my mother has vascular dementia from small strokes, and the progression of my mother's dementia over the years has been far more complicated and nuanced than what we see in "All Gone." Never-the-less,...more
Written by New York Times food journalist Alex Witchel, the book is a retelling of her mother's earlier life as a college professor, wife, and mother of four, before her sad descent into dementia. Anyone who has seen a beloved parent succumb to dementia will identify. Witchel includes some of her mother's recipes. A quick read and a good contribution to the growing list of memoirs on this topic.
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Memoir of a woman whose mother suffers dementia b/c of an ischemic stroke, the scars of which lie right on the part of the brain that regulates depression, and no subsequent tinkering of drugs can seem to alleviate the symptoms. Includes recipes at the ends of each chapter.
I was tickled bc most of the recipes are totally 1950s, convenience-type, quickie recipes. One, for example, was for something called “Hotdog Goulash.” LOL. Some reviewers lambaste the author for including recipes like this, b...more
I was tickled bc most of the recipes are totally 1950s, convenience-type, quickie recipes. One, for example, was for something called “Hotdog Goulash.” LOL. Some reviewers lambaste the author for including recipes like this, b...more
I read a review of this book through the regular emails I receive from my local library recommending new books. Memoirs, especially of the challenges presented when a loved one suffers the long decline from dementia seem to be very popular right now for understandable reasons. My mother has dementia and I was drawn to this book for that reason, but also because it was a memoir of a dysfunctional family growing up in the 60's and 70's which I could also relate to. It was a quick read and I liked...more
I found reading this book to be a totally empathetic experience. Novelist and NY Times journalist Alex Witchel's memoir of ambiguous loss mirrors my own experience of caretaking a parent with memory loss. In Witchel's case, her mother's dementia is stroke-induced, causing a once brilliant college professor to withdraw from much of life. One of Witchel's responses to this dilemma is to start furiously cooking her beloved mother and Nana's old recipes, thus the refreshments indicated in the subtit...more
Having had a similar experience to the author's with my own mom, I could certainly relate to the mental/psychological/emotional struggles she recounts in this book. However, as one reviewer says, her memoir is a bit "thin." I didn't find the recipe conceit to work well, especially when it doesn't seem that food and cooking were really that much an integral part of her family history. While I completely understand that the tedium of life with a loved one who is literally losing her mind is a very...more
How flagrantly and/or promiscuously in your life have you tossed around the adjective "Proustian" as if it were a small, perfect ping pong ball, one whose whiteness can always be relied on to catch the light? I'm Proustian, you're Proustian, even the orchestra is Proustian.
But ALL GONE truly is, at least by my standards/definitions, not because it is as insanely fussed-at, or endless, or so refined that it seems, at times, to have been written in invisible ink; not, in other words, although othe...more
But ALL GONE truly is, at least by my standards/definitions, not because it is as insanely fussed-at, or endless, or so refined that it seems, at times, to have been written in invisible ink; not, in other words, although othe...more
I really enjoyed this--the author, a writer for the New York Times magazine, chronicles her mother's descent into stroke-induced dementia, recounting earlier incidents in her life with her parents, while also attaching memories and emotions to the food/recipes that she associates with her family life. She sort of tries to keep her past history at arm's length (her father especially was a real piece of work, making fun of her writing when she was young, and once punching her in the nose when she...more
The second of two "difficult mom" books I read over the weekend. Richard Russo's mom was mentally ill, Alex Witchel's mom develops dementia. Both books were quite good, but I don't understand why there are recipes in this one. What an odd marketing strategy: nobody would buy it as a cookbook, would they? "Hey, enjoy this small collection of comfort food recipes, you can just ignore the parts with all the crying."
It also brings up interesting issues of money and class: this particular family is...more
It also brings up interesting issues of money and class: this particular family is...more
I loved the title. And the cover. And the excerpt that I had read earlier. I had high expectations for this book but as someone reading it, in part, because my best friend is living through her sister's dementia I expected more from it. (Not too mention that I would never eat any of the food). I wanted to know more about the fascinating mother and the book became too much about Alex (okay the fact that it was a memoir written by Alex Witchel should have been a clue for me). However in the end th...more
This is a very moving and very personal memoir of a mother and daughter relationship as told from the daughter's perspective, while her mother retreats slowly into dementia. That I knew the author in her teen years makes it that much more poignant. Each of us has our own stories of our parents and family life and many of us understand the relationship to food as the binding source. Each time I make my mother's or father's recipes it takes me back to my growing up years and brings them back to me...more
Since I am involved in caring for my 91-year-old mother-in-law in our home and have a mother in a Vermont home who has dementia, I was interested in reading about the author's experiences. She included scenes from her childhood and her relationship with her parents growing up. Some readers wondered why recipes were included. To me, it was to give us the "flavor" of her childhood home and how her mother's personality contributed to how she cared for her family. Thank goodness she didn't take to h...more
The summer after her junior year at Wheaton College (the one in Massachusetts), the author received sound advice from a novelist; thus, her career choice: journalism.
Honesty, clarity, and short sentences characterize the author's style. Ostensibly, the book is about the deterioration of the author's mother's mind. In actuality, the memory loss of the mother propels the daughter into recollections of child/mother interactions; favorite meals; and the author's early career days.
Writing the book...more
Honesty, clarity, and short sentences characterize the author's style. Ostensibly, the book is about the deterioration of the author's mother's mind. In actuality, the memory loss of the mother propels the daughter into recollections of child/mother interactions; favorite meals; and the author's early career days.
Writing the book...more
I never fully connected with the story. It felt rushed and empty. I was hoping for more of a "Still Alice" type of read. I am a bit disappointed with the writer's inability to make this story interesting. The recipes probably didn't help...
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This one was a disappointment for me. I'd expected a cathartic read (my mother recently died of Alzheimer's), and I thought a memoir by someone who'd gone through the same thing would be emotionally satisfying. Except a good chunk of the time, the author talks about her life, her career, her marriage, which often has nothing to do with her mother or her mother's dementia. The promise of "with refreshments" in the subtitle implies that there's a food connection with her mother, but it's tenuous a...more
This is more of a personal memoir of the writer, with bits about her mother's dementia and how inconvenient it was for her, the writer. Relatively little information about dementia -- for example, although it is clearly stated several times that it is different than Alzheimers, the distinction is not at all clear in her descriptions of her mother's behavior & symptoms, nor is a medical distinction provided. And the startling absence of any real compassion or kindness in the daughter's respon...more
Ouch. Anyone who has walked the path of parental dementia will find this book cutting close to the quick. The guilt, the horror, the sadness of losing the person who once inhabited your parent's body runs throughout the book. Yet, somehow, the book is not horrible or sad. It recounts the growing-up years of the whole baby-boom generation, complete with possibilities and processed food. The recipes sound pretty good, too, although I must insist that my sister's iteration of our mother's spaghetti...more
I actually listened to this book, which is not something I normally do, but our library only had this on CD, so that was the version I checked out. I had read a review of this book in a magazine and it sounded intriguing to me and then, a few months later, had read an exerpt. I can't imagine watching a parent who had been a professor go through dementia. I lost both my parents to cancer, which sucked, but they didn't lose their essence as Witchel's mother did. It was an interesting story, althou...more
A heartfelt book about a daughter, who was exceptionally close to her mother, and the mother who had sufffered a series of small strokes and whose memory was slowly eroding. Hoping to help her mother, who had always taken pride in how she took care of her family, she began to cook with her hoping to spark her old memories. Sad in parts, a very able woman slowly fading away and yet also very perceptive in reallizing that to help her mother she has to be willing to let her go. My mom is still aliv...more
A very nice book about a very difficult subject. I really like how Witchel doesn't try to romaticize her parents or her past in light of her mom's memory loss and the difficulty it has brought to her. And I love that she can appreciate pumpkin pie made with Libby's and topped with Cool Whip!
*...and I turned out to be a misfit among this cache of joyless creatures who were dancing a daily minuet of power and intimidation that I couldn't seem to learn and couldn't bring myself to care about.* (thi...more
*...and I turned out to be a misfit among this cache of joyless creatures who were dancing a daily minuet of power and intimidation that I couldn't seem to learn and couldn't bring myself to care about.* (thi...more
A heartfelt little book that seems at once foreign and familiar to me -- foreign because my family is nothing at all like Alex Witchel's, familiar because her struggles to cope with her mother's increasing dementia will hit home to just about anyone whose parents have grown old. Witchel is well-off and well-connected enough to have had expert help. But the pains and frustrations are the same. I have to say the recipes put me off: Witchel uses cooking for comfort, but the old-style Jewish recipes...more
This is a plainspoken, highly-readable memoir only a little bit about Mother's Dementia. Mostly, it is the personal story of a good reporter who grew up noticing the many tiny details of the Mad Men era and lived happily-enough every after. I ended Alex Witchel's book liking her as a person--no surprise once I learned she's the spouse of Frank Rich, whose work I also admire. Like attracts like, and it's good to know the two of them are doing fine.
The recipes I could live without, but who am I to...more
The recipes I could live without, but who am I to...more
I'm not really sure what I think of the book. While not exactly what I expected, it isn't without merit. Her family interacts in strange ways (but then, whose doesn't? The recipes, while they may be treasured family favorites are, for the most part, things I wouldn't even think about duplicating - or maybe even tasting in some cases. But what Alex Witchel has to say about what it is like to lose someone who is physically still there rings true, and will resonate with anyone who has gone or is go...more
I have been on quite a memoir kick as of late. Each has been better than the last and thankfully, All Gone followed that pattern as well.
In All Gone, author Alex Witchel recounts her mother’s battle with dementia. With refreshments, of course. The book begins with how Ms. Witchel copes by cooking her mother’s recipes, using food as a way to bridge the gap between who her mother was and is becoming. Each chapter ends with a difference recipe from Alex’s collection, recipes formed not only in food...more
In All Gone, author Alex Witchel recounts her mother’s battle with dementia. With refreshments, of course. The book begins with how Ms. Witchel copes by cooking her mother’s recipes, using food as a way to bridge the gap between who her mother was and is becoming. Each chapter ends with a difference recipe from Alex’s collection, recipes formed not only in food...more
Losing someone you've always felt you could never live without is difficult. It doesn't matter whether you lose them unexpectedly or quickly or watch them slowly fade away. Alex Witchel has given us a beautifully written, loving and heart wrenching memoir of her mothers life before and during her slowly progressing dementia.
I actually enjoyed this book more than I expected to. Honestly, I half expected to find it dreary and depressing - given the subject was something so close to my own heart,.
I...more
I actually enjoyed this book more than I expected to. Honestly, I half expected to find it dreary and depressing - given the subject was something so close to my own heart,.
I...more
I tend to read all memoirs about dementia and Alzheimer's, because it taps into my two greatest fears -- that one of my loved ones will lose his or her mind, and that one day I will. Read this in a day -- very honest about family dynamics. Very honest about how hard it is. I liked it although it will not change one's life. It's sort of what you expect of the situation, actually. Alex Witchel writes for the NYT, and is married to Frank Rich(!).
Although my mother is also suffering from dimentia like the author's mother was - I do not have the warm fuzzy relationship with my mother that made it so hard for the author to accept the changes in her mother's life as her memory failed her.
There were many sweet memories she shared but one I really liked is from near the end when her mother tells her in one of her rare in the moment moments "You decorate my life." I may have to use that somewhere as it is so sweet.
It was a sweet read.
There were many sweet memories she shared but one I really liked is from near the end when her mother tells her in one of her rare in the moment moments "You decorate my life." I may have to use that somewhere as it is so sweet.
It was a sweet read.
I don't know what to think about this book, more so disappointed. It's more 85% Alex 's life and 15% about her mom. I would have liked to have read more depth. My background is a RN and I have spent my whole nursing career in dementia care. My Mom is in a memory care facility so I deal with this every day, like Alex. I wish it would have explained a little more about her mom, the book didn't flow for me. The recipes were nice, but not for me. Any way you cut it, dementia is so difficult in every...more
Probably more like 3.5 stars. The author describes the swirl of emotions in watching her mother sink into dementia but it seemed like she was trying to tell several other stories at the same time - an emotionally abusive father, her own struggles to "find herself" and her relationships with her siblings. It was comforting to read about how she deals with her mother's illness but hard to keep all the other plot lines straight.
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Alex Witchel is a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine and also writes "Feed Me," a monthly column for the Times Dining section. The author of the novels The Spare Wife and Me Times Three, she lives in New York City with her husband, Frank Rich.
More about Alex Witchel...
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Love you, Mom. :)
Mar 27, 2013 08:05am