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Lost in Infinity

by Travis Besecker (Goodreads Author)

4.17 of 5 stars 4.17 · rating details · 30 ratings · 16 reviews

This book is not for everyone.

'Lost in Infinity' is a novel that many readers will find hard to define. In fact, it's much easier to list what it is most definitely not, than what it really is. It's not necessarily a tale of suspense or a thriller. It's not a mystery by normal standards. It's not inspirational, romantic or full of laughs. Depending upon your perspective an...more This book is not for everyone.

'Lost in Infinity' is a novel that many readers will find hard to define. In fact, it's much easier to list what it is most definitely not, than what it really is. It's not necessarily a tale of suspense or a thriller. It's not a mystery by normal standards. It's not inspirational, romantic or full of laughs. Depending upon your perspective and final take on the tale, it's not even entirely fiction.

This book is not for everyone. 'Lost in Infinity' is a novel intended for a very specific audience…

The author would have you believe this is a "psychological roller coaster wrapped in the factual memoir of a chronic insomniac suffering from apeirophobia (the fear of infinity)." He would go on to explain that the "novel unfolds the history of his life as he tries to unlock repressed memories through a near schizophrenic relationship with his own splintered subconscious." This is a clever ruse to suck in his niche reader. This book is not for everyone.

Influenced by Chuck Palahniuk, Kurt Vonnegut and Carlton Mellick III, the novel offers a unique look into the private confessions of a self-absorbed blogger on the precipice of a mental breakdown. The recurring theme of déjà vu leads you through the work giving glimpses of a dark past while offering anecdotes that will eerily relate to most readers. Mixing in humor and satire with a confused childhood spent under the microscope of therapists keeps the mood light while he digs deeper into his past looking for the root of his problems. The narrator pulls back the curtain and reveals his dark inner turmoil as he fears a slow deliberate path toward schizophrenia. A repetition of events and recollections leads the reader through the twisted break the author fears while touching on life's everyday issues and questions. He delves into sleepless nights, stress, relationships and the pitfalls of higher education while he openly offers opinions on religion, suicide, insomnia, depression and the meaning of life.

Many casual readers will be turned off by the jumping timeline. Some will be confused by the author's back and forth focus on his missing memories. The first person pseudo-oral narrative will leave others simply frustrated. The rest will grow sick of the author's defense mechanisms, most often hiding behind his pretentious recollections of growing up a childhood 'genius'. This book is not for everyone.

Now that you've been properly warned and many have moved on to their next light read…

'Lost in Infinity' is part social commentary, part psychological mystery and part diary. What begins as an egotistical journal from an overconfident, yet anti-social, bratty blogger slowly dissolves into the twisted chaos of a mind on the brink of collapse. The reader is eventually forced to decide if the book is a cry for help from a man attempting to rationalize his schizophrenia or a clever ruse to make them stop and contemplate the meaning of existence. 'Lost in Infinity' will leave the reader questioning everything they thought they knew about the author's sanity, about their own life, about existence and the infinite universe beyond.(less)

Paperback, 424 pages

Published February 7th 2012 by Amazon

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Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K. Rowling

Best Time Travel Fiction

251st out of 636 books — 2,166 voters

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Sophisticated, disturbing Books

4th out of 8 books — 8 voters

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May 01, 2012 Gabby rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: reread

When I purchased this book, I confess I did it more to support a new friend than for any other reason. Skimming the premise I deduced that this was not in my normal "comfort zone" of genres. But, I am passionate about supporting the people I know, so I pulled up Amazon and ordered a physical copy of the book. I wanted the author to be rewarded monetarily for his efforts.

The book came UPS yesterday, and while I was excited, it was more that initial phase for me. New book. Uncreased seam. The smel...more When I purchased this book, I confess I did it more to support a new friend than for any other reason. Skimming the premise I deduced that this was not in my normal "comfort zone" of genres. But, I am passionate about supporting the people I know, so I pulled up Amazon and ordered a physical copy of the book. I wanted the author to be rewarded monetarily for his efforts.

The book came UPS yesterday, and while I was excited, it was more that initial phase for me. New book. Uncreased seam. The smell of the paper. I started it at lunch and found it interesting. Very well written. But I was distracted by life and after reading a chapter or four I set it aside.

Last night my internet connection flaked out and I was bored. Picked up the book. And I was lost. This is the kind of book that, if i was 12 years old again, I would hide under the covers and read with a flashlight so my parents wouldn't see the light under my door and realize I was up past my bedtime. As it is I read until I was reading with one eye open, fighting against the urge to sleep. and even when I put the book down, my mind wouldn't stop wondering what would happen next to the character. I woke up early and should have gone back to sleep, but found my desire to find out what happens was stronger than my desire for rest. I could not put it down until I finished it. Racing along to the OMG conclusion...

This to me signifies an excellent book. When I disappear into it's pages completely. I cease to be, and with each page turned I move closer to the conclusion. I found myself laughing out loud at his comments to his bible school teacher, and conversely torn with sympathy for his endless search for the oblivion of sleep. Upon reaching the conclusion I was stunned, speechless, and quite frankly in awe. It all made sense. I can honestly say it was one of the best reads I have ever had.

I hope the author continues to write. I know if he does I will be one of those preordering his next work. I will wait for it to arrive like a child waiting for a long awaited sequel to a beloved video game. And I will hide under the covers with my flashlight so that no one will disturb me until I reach it's conclusion.(less)

2 likes · like · see review

Jun 05, 2012 Beka rated it 5 of 5 stars

So many of my friends online were raving about this book that my curiosity was piqued, and I downloaded a copy from Amazon. I immediately felt myself empathizing with the precocious child whose parents tried everything to help him win his lifelong battle with insomnia, eventually taking him to a series of therapists. I found myself irked initially as words, then phrases, and eventually almost entire chapters were repeated throughout the book. Because it was an e-book, I couldn’t flip back to fin...more

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Apr 29, 2013 Joshua rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

I received this book as part of a Goodreads First Reads giveaway, and I took a ridiculously long time to finally getting around to finishing it. For this I apologize to Mr. Besecker who, if I understand correctly, sent me the copy himself.

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This is a very difficult book for me to analyze, and I am not at all sure why. The autobiographical viewpoint of the story initially threw me off and made me dislike the way the story was told. The first one hundred or so pages did nothing t...more I received this book as part of a Goodreads First Reads giveaway, and I took a ridiculously long time to finally getting around to finishing it. For this I apologize to Mr. Besecker who, if I understand correctly, sent me the copy himself.

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This is a very difficult book for me to analyze, and I am not at all sure why. The autobiographical viewpoint of the story initially threw me off and made me dislike the way the story was told. The first one hundred or so pages did nothing to hook me in and keep me reading, so my mind invariably wondered to other books and entertainment pursuits. Despite all this I picked the book back up a few days ago, dusted it off, and bit into it feeling as though I had a moral obligation as I had received the book with no charge to myself except that I finish and review it.

I regret not reading it sooner.

The story picked up quite a head of steam upon reaching Travis' adulthood, and the sections at the start of each chapter were quite interesting. The back and forth dialogues were definitely the strongest points of the story to me, whether between the protagonist and his therapist, or between himself and his ego, and I would have liked to see more of his social interactions. I also must give props to the author for writing from a first person perspective and still being able to maintain the mystery in the story. This is a very difficult thing to do for any writer.

Near the end of the story, when Travis starts to understand what is wrong with him I felt much more engaged and I tore through the last pages in a matter of hours. That's when I felt the sucker punch. The ending was deeply unsettling and very well done. The reuse of certain paragraphs used earlier in the story to reinforce a feeling of having read the book before caused a slight thought hiccup that made me almost turn back and recheck to see what had and hadn't been added. The impact seems like something that would more so affect a male than a female however, and the antagonist's motives are not as well explained as I would have liked, but the concept was brilliant and the execution very neat and practiced.

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I appreciate being given the chance to read an interesting story that I almost definitely would have missed out on otherwise. It is a very strong first outing from an obviously talented individual, and I hope to see more from him in the future. (less)

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Jan 09, 2013 Steve Johnson rated it 1 of 5 stars

For most of Lost In Infinity, each chapter follows the same formula: the introductory paragraph or two tells about Travis's visit to a shrink, then the rest of the chapter continues with the biographical information. The biographical stuff (ie., the bulk of the book) also follow a pattern, with each chapter recounting that (a) Travis is brilliant, quite possibly the smartest man alive (though his spelling, grammar, and apparent fear of compound words cast some doubt on the veracity of this claim...more

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Apr 02, 2012 SirShucky rated it 5 of 5 stars

I picked this book up after seeing it in the hands of several people on Twitter and Tumblr. It didn't seem quite in line with my usual Science Fiction or Horror genres, but I've been looking to branch out and I decided to give it a shot. I figured if nothing else I'd shoot through it and add it to my small list of completed books, hand it 3 stars, and move on. I was very wrong about how much I would identify with the words as I read it.

The book itself held my attention from the words, "...my roo...more

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Apr 06, 2012 QueenBee rated it 5 of 5 stars Recommends it for: everyone

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. I thought I knew what this book was going to be about. I was wrong. I was sucker punched. THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO GOOD! I loved it all the way to the last hundred pages, then as I thought I knew what was going on, the entire thing changed. Bait and switch. Sucker punch like a semi from out of no where. By the time I was done I started back on page 1.

The novel is disguised as an autobiography, but in actuality it is a fictional psychological thriller loosely based on the author's life.
The novel r...more I thought I knew what this book was going to be about. I was wrong. I was sucker punched. THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO GOOD! I loved it all the way to the last hundred pages, then as I thought I knew what was going on, the entire thing changed. Bait and switch. Sucker punch like a semi from out of no where. By the time I was done I started back on page 1.

The novel is disguised as an autobiography, but in actuality it is a fictional psychological thriller loosely based on the author's life.
The novel repeats passages and returns to the same events, and in some cases, repeats key phrases throughout, in an attempt to convey a feeling of deja vu for the reader. Each chapter begins with an aside or dream sequence detailing a relationship between the author and his childhood therapist. By the end of the novel this entire interaction is pieced back together and becomes the final piece to the puzzle.
The twist to the novel comes in the final Part, Deja Vu. It is here that the author reveals the intent of the book was to perpetuate a loop in time, thus creating an infinite paradox in the space-time continuum. By finishing the novel, the reader has done their part in renewing the cycle once more.

The narrative leaves the final decision up to the reader. It is never spelled out whether the book is fiction or reality. Because the novel is an autobiography and the main point the author conveys in the very beginning is there is no reality beyond what your own mind perceives, this is a moot point.
The prologue of the novel hints to this fact. Throughout the author is fixated on Rene Descartes and his philosophical notion of "I think therefore I am". Taking this into consideration, the reader is led to believe that the only real truth is that they have a conscience. The book itself is irrelevant.
Each reader is expected to come away from the novel with a different argument as to what the point was.

Because of the nature of the novel, each reader will have to formulate their own opinion of the book's theme.
What is the meaning of life? Some readers will see the novel as an exploration into the question of "What is the meaning of life?" and what does it mean to each of them.
Memoir of a man with schizophrenia Some readers will see the novel as an account of a paranoid schizophrenic. The novel will be seen as a journal following the narrator's battle with reality.
Fiction Novel about Time Travel Some readers will see the novel as a fresh take on time travel and nothing more.
Uneasy Feeling of Fear Some readers will be frightened by the concept as the book plays to their natural fear of the unknown. Some readers will identify with the narrator and see how the story mirrors their own lives and questions about reality, life and space. Some readers will feel as if the book was written specifically for them.

For me it was the last. I finished the book feeling sick to my stomach, my head swimming and my heart twisted in a fisherman's knot. The beauty of the book is how it sucks you in slowly like a drug dealer, giving you a taste for free, then getting you hooked right before he cuts you off on the last page. I really have no way of describing it. I loved it. I hated what it did to me, but I had to read it again.(less)

1 like · like · see review

Apr 10, 2012 Melissa rated it 5 of 5 stars

Lost in Infinity is a book that will leave you questioning everything you have ever believed in, including yourself. It doesn't hold back and is real. It discusses real day to day things everyone faces and thinks about and is honest. It doesn't sugar coat things to be more socially acceptable. The author does an amazing job of making you feel like you are there with him and are a part of the book. It is a great read and you wont be able to put it down once you start partially because you'll want...more

1 like · like · see review

Sep 01, 2012 Megan rated it 5 of 5 stars

It has been a few weeks since I finished this book, and still I am a bit at a loss for words to properly review it. But I will try.

My heart is tortured for Travis, because very early on in the book you can get a sense of the world he lives in. There is a feeling of being trapped, taunted, and destined to live through the same experiences without truly knowing what will happen next. It's like that feeling you get when you know something bad is about to happen or that you forgot something very imp...more

1 like · like · see review

Mar 26, 2012 Nancy rated it 5 of 5 stars

Excellent book. Once I started reading this book, I could not put it down. It's haunting and entertaining and heart-breaking and amusing all at once. This is definitely a book I will read again and again.

2 likes · like · see review

Sep 06, 2012 Allison Sarnoski rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: goodread-giveaways, first-reads

Overall I thought this book was good. At first I thought it was very repetitive when all you want to find out was his answer. However the ending surprises you and you're left with questions still unanswered. I think the author is a great writer and is very good at keeping the readers attention, not allowing you to put the book down!

2 likes · like · see review

May 06, 2013 Taylor rated it 5 of 5 stars

Shelves: next-paycheck-buys

At first the repetitiveness of this story bugged me. Once I finished reading the entire book, I understood why it was written this way and I think it's brilliant.

This story threw me for a loop and surprised me with what I was not expecting.

Plus, I can relate to the main character in some ways.

1 like · like · see review

Apr 16, 2013 Angie rated it 4 of 5 stars

Shelves: first-reads

liked it alot! the most thought provoking i think therefore i am puzzling yet. though i have no interest whatsoever to drive my car anywhere right now, i immensely enjoyed venturing into the terrified mind of this character for a short time. the writing style is frustrating yet fascinating

1 like · like · see review

Apr 02, 2012 Heather rated it 5 of 5 stars · review of another edition

I got this ebook for free on Amazon after having it on my to read list for a long time after finding it on first reads. The best way I can even begin to describe Lost in Infinity is that it is bizarrely awesome. Read it.

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Aug 17, 2012 Elena rated it 3 of 5 stars

I received this book from Goodreads first reads giveaway. I enjoyed this book but there was a lot of repeating. Like word for word exactly. The ending is nothing I would have expected. It was so bizarre.

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May 14, 2013 J_oreo77 rated it 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed this. Didn't take long for me to sucked into it. One of those books where I actually slow down torwards the end just cause I don't want it to be over yet.

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Creative Reviews: Seeking Reviews from anyone interested in an out of the box psychological thriller	1	9	Apr 05, 2012 12:47pm
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About Travis Besecker

Travis Besecker (1976 - present) is an award winning author and comedy writer. Using his chronic insomnia as an inspirational tool, he found early success in social media and print. Although he gained notoriety with his humor, he has confessed his preference for the dark nature of horror and suspense. In 2011 he broke the silence on his lifelong struggle with apeirophobia (fear of infinity) and be...more

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“There is always a choice to be had, you even have the choice to choose it.” — 3 people liked it

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