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Why You're Not Married . . . Yet: The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve
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Why You're Not Married . . . Yet: The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve

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3.73 of 5 stars 3.73  ·  rating details  ·  312 ratings  ·  80 reviews
This paperback edition includes an exclusive conversation between Bill and Giuliana Rancic, hosts of NBC’s Ready for Love, and Tracy McMillan, one of its expert matchmakers. This new relationship show features three of America’s most eligible guys searching for their soul mates.

If you’re looking to get married and you’re not, there’s most likely a very good reason: you.
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ebook, 224 pages
Published May 29th 2012 by Ballantine Books (first published January 1st 2012)
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Laura
Do not be fooled by the title of this book - this is not about finding a husband, rather it is about becoming a better person, whether that means you're single or already in a relationship. I discovered this book because I like reading the Huffington Post and I came across McMillian's article on why women might not be attracting the best people into their lives. I found the book to be very insightful and though it was primarily aimed at women, I think it's a good read for men as well. Like I sai ...more
Nadia Scrieva
How fascinating! I have never been insulted five times in a synopsis.

#1. "...you haven’t yet become the woman you need to be in order to have the partnership you want."

Oh my goodness! Please tell me more about how deficient I am as a woman, and why I must change to be the perfect ideal for every man on earth who is already perfect.

#2. "You’re a Bitch: How defensiveness and anger can hide behind a tough, take-charge exterior, and why being nice is never a sign of weakness."

I didn't realize that
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Joshunda Sanders
I really did not want to like this book, but it turns out that it's not as bad as I imagined it was going to be at all. There are some parts I took issue with, but at the end of the book I was relieved that McMillan was transparent about being married a few times and divorced a few times. She applied all of the tips she gives women for improving themselves if they want to be married and can't seem to get it together to herself. There's a big chunk of spiritual and faith-related material in here ...more
Gloriavirtutisumbra
A brutally written book that reminds me of 'the rules'. She has lots of excellent points, which she delivers in a way guaranteed to get your attention, and I have to admit it only left me depressed and disheartened. Once again, the ladies have to do all the changing, because men are incapable and unwilling (which i fear is true), and god help the ladies if they revert to old habits when they finally get that coveted relationship, because men don't really want THEM, they want them to be their mom ...more
Hemani
I first heard about this author during one of Oprah's Super Soul Sunday marathons--McMillan was a featured guest. Her quick witted retorts and tough talk about casual sex and marriage as the most difficult yoga enticed me to pick up her book. My hope was that I would find in its pages some fresh engaging perspectives on loving and ways to enhance my relating (in gerund form on purpose). While there are one or two nuggets of wisdom, although hardly original, I found myself bored and at times wond ...more
Iroquois
Finished this yesterday, and I really enjoyed it. A lot of what she says can be easily misconstrued but I think that if a reader is genuinely interested and open to hearing out all she has to say they will like it too. When I first started reading I thought it was gonna be some weird antifeminist crap but actually found her take on things interesting and helpful. And like she says, it's not a "how to get a man" book but more of a taking an honest look at yourself and figuring out reasons why you ...more
Brittany
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved this book. I am very serious about books I give 5 stars to and this book deserved it. I first heard about Tracy McMillan after my coworker saw her on TV and we then looked up her article for Huff Post (same title of the book) and I immediately despised her. I found the article to be annoying and when I shared it on Twitter and found the men all agreed, I was irate. Still, I figured I should read the book before actually deciding if this woman's womanhood card should be ...more
Jennifer Short
I admit I've read more books on relationships than I want to count. So I'm not sure why I picked up Why You're Not Married Yet by Tracy McMillian. I suppose I was hoping for something new in the age old question of why it seems the women who want relationships can't get them and those wanting to be left alone are fighting off dates. When I told a friend I was reading this book, we had a few laughs about it, and she was checking in to ask if I had found the reason there is no ring on my finger.

Th
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Jennifer
I don't think I realized how much I liked this book until I was at dinner with one of my girlfriends last evening when the conversation turned to relationships (as they somehow always do amongst girlfriends). As we were chatting about the things we find ourselves and our other friends doing in relationships, I found myself referencing Tracy's book quite a bit. The reason I feel like I can call the author Tracy is the exact reason that I enjoyed this read - it felt like a conversation with anothe ...more
Saida Latigue
I read Tracy McMillan's article of the same title in the Huffington Post last year, and the book has definitely expanded on the ideas of the article.
Admittedly, I am not the target audience for the book, as I am a year younger than the author, however, I will say this: she is honest, has lots of humor & simply suggests & reminds us that in love, we get what we give.
Do I wish I had this book to read 7 years ago when I got divorced? Yes. Is there always room for improvement? Indeed.
No ma
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Colleen Wainwright
This should really be titled "Why You're Not Happy...Yet". As the author herself states, this is a book about much more important stuff than finding someone to mate with; it's about getting down with your one, true self, being of service, and other spiritual fundamentals. So yeah, there's god in them thar pages. If that's a big problem for you right now, this is probably not the book for you. But if you're down with at least the notion that maybe-possibly you aren't in charge of the whole show, ...more
Cara
Ok, I'm embarrassed to admit I read a book with this title, especially when I really don't want to get married. (Really!) But someone who knows me well pointed out that what I really want is basically a marriage without the legal crap. Also, this book seemed like it would be funny. When I saw that one chapter is called "You're a Dude," I thought the book might be right on about me after all. Not that I really am a dude, but I sure do act like one sometimes.

So basically, each chapter is a possibl
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Kmwann
While on a recent dating book binge from the local library, I picked up this book.

The thing I liked about this book was the tone of the author; she addresses you more like a friend than a receptacle by which to receive sage advice. I agree with the main idea of her book: you must give love to receive love, and being marriageable depends on you're being in the right frame of mind to give and receive love. It is a very positive and empowering message. Stories of her tough childhood, going through
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Bethany Sciuto
I want to preface this by saying this woman has been unsuccessfully married 3x. The first time she was a little trophy wife and says she was too immature for the relationship. The second time she manipulated a guy into marrying her by getting pregnant 6mos into the relationship, and the third time she was the sweet girl who did everything she was supposed to and got cheated on. Oh, and blames herself for it. Still want her advice? She legit says, guys are guys and if you want to get married, you ...more
Shannon
This past Sunday, on Super Soul Sunday starring Oprah Winfrey (shut up), this author was on there. And so, since Oprah told me to buy this, I went ahead and did it.

I've gotta say, as a writer, it really helped me get into the psyche of another kind of woman. So, for that reason alone, it was worth the read. I can already sense a new storyline brewing!

As far as the content, it's a funny book with great elements, depending on your views about womanhood and manhood. (No book in the world is one si
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Kendall
I won this book on a contest here on good reads. i just got it today and read it very fast. i loved it and it had good advice. i'll remember this book when i want to get married
Marsha
I enjoyed this, and welcomed Ms. McMillan's candor. For anyone interested in the romantic dynamics between men and women. Encourages women not to sell themselves short.
C2015
Outstanding book. If I could give 6 or 7 stars I would it, stands that far ahead of others I've read. I learned a ton about myself and not all happy stuff for sure. I really liked her writing style....she said it clear and direct, using no more words than required and it got through like a scalpel. I highly recommend this for any woman who is in a relationship with a man, wants to be in a relationship with a man or was in a relationship with a man. Heck, the guys may get something out of it to s ...more
Rita
I received this book free through Goodreads First Reads. An informative read. Found out some things I have been doing wrong in relationships.
Sophia Flemming
Yes, Keeping Is Straight Helps You Be Honest

Wow, what a journey read...

I believe encountered Tracey McMillan when an article popped up from Huffington Post Women. As many know, she has a blog on there talking about the same issues that she talks about in her self help memoir, Why You're Not Married.

I have seen the reactions to her self-help with comments and critiques. What she puts out that why you are not married in controversial to some. However, I am one of the words that go into camp of loo
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Julie
Oh geeze, good information in this book. It's basically common sense but sometimes we need someone to remind us of what innate common sense is. I get what she's saying in this book. I really really really do. It almost seems "channeled" with the necessary information needed to "fix yourself" to have a successful happy normal relationship that isn't drama filled.

The reason I gave 3 stars - I did like this book, but I've read Tracy's previous book "I Love You, But I'm Leaving You - A Memoir"...and
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Unwisely
OK, I ran out of things to read. I had at some point put it on my to-read list, and it was in at the library, and, so I read it. Yes, I am little defensive.

This book had parts I really liked and parts I thought were completely nuts. But yet it was readable (and thin, so it's not a huge commitment to read). It's basically a series of various things that women do that make (stable, sane) men avoid them. It's not about attracting the guy, it's about identifying what you need to fix in your own life
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Caroline
I'm not a huge self-help-y, new age thinker-y type of person (but I am a little). So I was surprised to be so affected by this book. I bought it after the synopsis interested me enough to buy the sample, in which I identified with some of the "does this sound like you?" statements in the opening "quiz," and then read the author's approach to each issue.

She lays each of 10 issues out matter-of-factly and without judgement: 1) The issue and what it really means/looks like, 2) What it's really abo
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Taymara Jagmohan
Beautiful.

Within a woman's life, there's always a voice that needs to be heard (not from your best friend, or your many acquaintances.)
Tracy, you have honorably allowed me to think about a few things humbly. : )

I know, if this information is absorbed by every woman, we'll all be some parts of the SAME, but isn't that how it has always been? Yes.
Some women are geared in the event of pretense (we are all stubbornly guilty of that), but there is a joy in actually knowing that you are growing and y
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Melissa
I should probably say that I'm split down the middle on this book. The cynical part of my wants to scoff at the self-help bullshit-- while the other half wants to nod and say, ok-- I get what she's trying to say.

This is a firstreads book, so it wasn't something I chose, nor would it have been something I would have chose-- so with that said, I'm going to try to objectively review this book.

I've been in a relationship now for 5 months, so sometimes it's hard peeling off the 'us' to remind mysel
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Michele Harrod
This is the funniest, laugh out loud, thing I have read, ever. Gosh, if you are married, I feel a wee bit sorry for you - because you might think you don't need to read this. You possibly do, and you really should. It is absolutely fantastic so far. And it's also filled with some real home truths - she is right - there really is a bit of selfish, shallow bitch in me. I think I'm doing OK on the crazy front, and I still have the great pleasure of finding out more about the mess I'm in, how much I ...more
Karla
In the interest of disclosure, I received a free ARC of this book through the Goodreads First Reads program. Thanks Goodreads! (First Reads is a great way to win free books and discover new titles and authors -- if you haven't tried it, check it out!)

I really don't know where to start trying to review this book. Obviously it's self-help, and that's always a hard genre to review . . . What one reader finds to be insightful and resonant another reader determines is glaringly apparent common sense
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Beth
The way this book starts makes you want to throw it across the room. To get your attention, as others have mentioned, the author pretty much tells you everything that’s wrong with you and why you might still be single. I almost put the book down then, not necessarily because I felt insulted.. but because I thought, “This can’t possibly be relevant for me. I’m not any of these things.”

One day when I thought I was feeling masochistic, I came back, and I’m glad I did. As others have mentioned, the
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Alex
Tracy McMillan's "Why You're Not Married... Yet" is another slick, smart entry into the realm of self-help. If you’ve ever dipped your toes into this genre before, you know the basics: the premise of most self-help is circular. You are the problem, the new approach (whatever it may be) is the solution, and if you don't believe or strictly follow the new approach, the failure is yours. Blame is a convenient way to keep selling the solution.

Another constant in self-help: the decalogue. It's a pit
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Tracy McMillan is a television writer and memoirist, most recently on the Emmy Award–winning AMC series Mad Men. Previously, she wrote on Showtime’s United States of Tara, ABC’s Life on Mars, and NBC’s Journeyman. She’s also developing an as-yet-untitled series with Dreamworks Television. I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway is Tracy’s first book.

Born and raised in Minneapolis, Tracy spent years
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