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How to Sharpen Pencils: A Practical & Theoretical Treatise on the Artisanal Craft of Pencil Sharpening for Writers, Artists, Contractors, Flange Turners, Anglesmiths, & Civil Servants
by
David Rees
A hilarious guide to the lost art of artisanal pencil sharpening
"...I am so thrilled David Rees is picking up the reins of the forgotten art of manual graphite-encased-in-wood point-crafting. I love my pencil!"
—AMY SEDARIS
"You may think that sharpening a pencil is easy, but David Rees makes it look hard, and that makes all the difference."
—JOHN HODGMAN
"Truly, my life befor...more
"...I am so thrilled David Rees is picking up the reins of the forgotten art of manual graphite-encased-in-wood point-crafting. I love my pencil!"
—AMY SEDARIS
"You may think that sharpening a pencil is easy, but David Rees makes it look hard, and that makes all the difference."
—JOHN HODGMAN
"Truly, my life befor...more
ebook
Published
April 10th 2012
by Melville House
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David Rees, a writer previously known for his vitriolic Bush-era cartoon, "Get Your War On" has taken his career on a much different track. He shuttered the comic franchise at the close of Bush's second term and has since reinvented himself as David Rees, artisanal pencil sharpener. The result is a bona fide artisanal pencil sharpening business (Artisnal Pencil Sharpening), and now, the accompanying manual, "How to Sharpen Pencils".
Inspired by "Audel's Shipfitter's Handy Book" (Newstead, 1948),...more
Inspired by "Audel's Shipfitter's Handy Book" (Newstead, 1948),...more
A straight-faced look at how to sharpen pencils, using a variety of different sharpeners (the machines), as well as a good bit of the philosophy of a pencil sharpener (the person). Unfortunately, a little *too* straight-faced. I'm all for ironic examinations of pedestrian subjects that pretend that they are wildly interesting, but when they're not you have to throw in a few more jokes. The first half of this book is the serious technical writing that it pretends to be, and shows that Rees truly...more
David Rees is a practical, orderly man. He values hard work and the rewards to be had thereby. He is quiet, reserved, and exact.
And he has found love. Let him share it with you.
This is a gratifying little book, well-bound and carefully illustrated; it captivated my imagination. I have always had a fondness for how-to books, even for hobbies and crafts I have no intention of ever taking up. I also have a fondness for office supplies and know exactly what it's like to stumble upon that one pencil,...more
And he has found love. Let him share it with you.
This is a gratifying little book, well-bound and carefully illustrated; it captivated my imagination. I have always had a fondness for how-to books, even for hobbies and crafts I have no intention of ever taking up. I also have a fondness for office supplies and know exactly what it's like to stumble upon that one pencil,...more
Oct 08, 2012
Christina Wilder
rated it
4 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
funny-as-hell,
unusual-and-daring
Before you read this book, you should check out these clips:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH12su...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8u4CE...
If you thought they were stupid and pointless, you're most likely not going to enjoy How To Sharpen Pencils.
If you thought they were at least amusing, you'll probably like this book.
I said this in my first status, but this isn't a collection of humorous "how to" essays. It is quite literally a guide on how to sharpen pencils, with a heavy dose of surrealism...more
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH12su...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8u4CE...
If you thought they were stupid and pointless, you're most likely not going to enjoy How To Sharpen Pencils.
If you thought they were at least amusing, you'll probably like this book.
I said this in my first status, but this isn't a collection of humorous "how to" essays. It is quite literally a guide on how to sharpen pencils, with a heavy dose of surrealism...more
I don't know why I kept reading this book. I mean, it's about treating sharpening pencils as an art that should be revered and taken seriously but somehow I was drawn into the absurdity and went with it. I generally think that artisanal-fying mundane things is a fad and I am tired of being expected to pay twice as much for something just because someone stuck the word artisanal on it. Too many people use artisanal as a way to charge more for less but for some reason I want a pencil that's been s...more
Reading How to Sharpen Pencils is like the moment after your first non-Great Clips hair cut, your first time behind the wheel of a BMW, the taste of real crab meat after having only eaten imitation, using a Mac after years of being stuck on Windows or when you discover that a couple cubes of ice will keep your cereal cold for the entire time you're eating it. What I mean by that is that this book is the breath of fresh air and the warm ray of light that you feel when You've Been Doing it Wrong a...more
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He was in town to read from his book, and that was very entertaining. A silly book that carries an odd serious undertone to it.
Disclaimer: I had an obsession with pencils for awhile, so I knew what he was talking about already, but it seems to me that most of the audience consisted of Plumbumphiles. (I think I just made up that word: pencil lovers.)
Anyway, I don't recommend buying the book unless you like to throw away cash on things that really don't matter to you. I talked with Mr. Rees for a...more
Disclaimer: I had an obsession with pencils for awhile, so I knew what he was talking about already, but it seems to me that most of the audience consisted of Plumbumphiles. (I think I just made up that word: pencil lovers.)
Anyway, I don't recommend buying the book unless you like to throw away cash on things that really don't matter to you. I talked with Mr. Rees for a...more
Seriously, if you're gonna do anything, do it with verve, intention, and the appropriate amount of pageantry.
2 likes
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As soon as I read about this book, I pre-ordered it for my Nook. A few days later it was on my device, and I started reading. The premise is great, but there's only so far you can stretch a joke. By the middle of the book I was completely bored, which is why it took me so long to finish it. It became treadmill reading, so I only got a few pages in at the gym, and there were lots of days I didn't bother to read it, and watched t.v. instead. I'm glad I didn't buy it in physical form. If you're rea...more
This was a funny premise for a book that was just too long. The final section on party tricks with your pencil sharpener must have been a lot funnier in his head. Overall, the writing was very good and the serious tone and jingoistic vocabulary added to the humor. Some of the book was quite funny, it just would've been funnier if it were shorter.
No matter what David Rees has to say, I am going to continue to use my electric sharpener even if it means that I am not getting the most professional p...more
No matter what David Rees has to say, I am going to continue to use my electric sharpener even if it means that I am not getting the most professional p...more
Turn your brain off, and this is a fantastically written manual on how to sharpen pencils (with thoughts on mechanical pencils and electric sharpeners, as well as the pitfalls of being an artisanal pencil sharpener.)
Turn your brain on, and this is a fantastically written manual on how to sharpen pencils (with thoughts on mechanical pencils and electric sharpeners, as well as the pitfalls of being an artisanal pencil sharpener.)
Satire never had it so good. I LOVED IT.
Turn your brain on, and this is a fantastically written manual on how to sharpen pencils (with thoughts on mechanical pencils and electric sharpeners, as well as the pitfalls of being an artisanal pencil sharpener.)
Satire never had it so good. I LOVED IT.
I've been interested in pencils all my life, but passively interested, not fanatically. But upon reading a review in the New Yorker I was smitten. I posted an exclamation on my Facebook page saying I couldn't wait to read this book, which brought some astonishment : "What! You're interested in reading such a book? I couldn't answer yet, so I just said "You just have to read the New Yorker review." Without repeating that review, I'd say the author, David Rees, certainly takes his subject seriousl...more
Jul 25, 2012
pianogal
rated it
1 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
non-fiction,
read-in-2012
I thought this was supposed to be funny, but I think the author took his No.2 pencil eraser and erased all those parts. It kinda reminded me of a Saturday Night Live sketch that was funny in short form but bombed as a long(ish) movie. I kept waiting for the funny parts, and there were a few, but they were hard to find and long in coming. If you're thinking about perusing this one - don't waste you're time. You'd be better off spending it actually sharpening pencils...
This book is actually about sharpening pencils, which is a surprisingly hilarious endeavor. It is so dry in parts that you find yourself getting actually sucked into the art of pencil sharpening. This only makes it funnier when you get to a part that is completely absurd, because you have to be honest with yourself about sneak-searching for prices of certain recommended brands of pencil sharpeners. The unfortunate side effect of Rees's humor is that I now think about pencils cringing when you sh...more
Jan 07, 2013
Sheela Word
rated it
5 of 5 stars
·
review of another edition
Shelves:
humor-and-comedy
Can't believe I'm giving a 5-star rating to a book about pencil sharpening, but it was that good. I had never heard of the book or the author. My son grabbed it in the library for some unknown reason, and I took a look out of curiosity. It manages to be both hilarious and full of interesting information about pencils and pencil sharpeners. If you like bone-dry humor and/or pencils, you'll like this.
http://nwhyte.livejournal.com/1937199.html[return][return][return]It mostly succeeds; it is the story of a man going through intense emotional crisis and working it out by writing a book about pencil sharpening, except that almost everything apart from the pencil sharpening has been taken out. Rees is good at capturing the tone of how-to manuals, especially when describing really obvious and easy tasks. There are a couple of points when he wanders far off-topic and the humour did not work for me...more
“Looking back, I cannot believe that I spent so many years of my life mechanically sharpening my own pencils with pencil sharpeners. Truly, my life before I was presented with correctly sharpened pencils by an artisan was a dull and ill-sharpened void. Learn from my mistakes.” —NEIL GAIMAN
This could either be read as a mockery of the esty crowd or a meditation on what it takes to sharpen a pencil (really!). Either way, it's really really funny and quite informative. Did you know that metallic strip around the eraser bit of a pencil is called a "Ferrule"?
Easily one of the funniest books I've ever read. EVER. David Rees does keep his pencil sharpened. Once you get over the idea that you actually picked up a book with this title, Rees's wit, self-awareness, and absurdity will propel you through the pages easily enough. You may even sharpen a pencil along the way.
A truly brilliant meditation on artisanal activities through the prism of that most basic of tasks...sharpening a pencil. Rees is dry witted, smart and an acute observer of the world around him as well as a man with a keen eye for a fine point!!!
while i found this book well informed and very often even practical, i'd feel remiss to rate this book without knowing firsthand the skill of this particular artisanal pencil sharpener (and former fellow census taker!), and will rate back as soon as possible.
Perhaps a little too dry and restrained in the first half, but second half (Ch. 11 to the end) was quite fun in the Hodgman-esque "nutzoid didact" style. Laughed pretty hard at the sudden punch of "A Few Words About Mechanical Pencils."
I think that anyone who's ever chewed on a pencil contemplatively should own this book. Mr Rees is extraordinary in his prose and simply fascinated by his discoveries as he plies the trade of artisanal pencil sharpener.
Consistently very funny, humor ranging from silly to profound. Rees actually has some valuable statements regarding craftsmanship that I could envision in cross-stitched samplers.
I am sickened by the number of mechanical pencils on my desk.
I am sickened by the number of mechanical pencils on my desk.
Men have bespoke suits- I want bespoke sharpened pencils. I especially enjoyed the sections on "How to Sharpen Pencils with Your Mind" and "Wine That Tastes Like Pencils". Hilarious and wonderful.
http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runnins...
The above article makes me want to love this! A pencil sharpening business?!?! Fascinating
The above article makes me want to love this! A pencil sharpening business?!?! Fascinating
I found it very refreshing that the first half of this book is so exceedingly straight. When Rees goes into the details of what makes up a pencil, for example, I really learned something!
In a world tending toward electronic reading material, I also enjoyed the physicality of a book well designed and edited. I don't think this would have worked on a Kindle or Nook.
The last quarter got a bit silly, though.
In a world tending toward electronic reading material, I also enjoyed the physicality of a book well designed and edited. I don't think this would have worked on a Kindle or Nook.
The last quarter got a bit silly, though.
If you have any doubt, this book is seriously about pencil sharpening. The quality of writing is excellent however, and there is something appealing about treating such a trivial topic with semi-serious thoroughness. The humor throughout is not unlike a cedar sheath surrounding a graphite core of concrete pencil sharpening facts and detail.
I approached this book with a bit of trepidation due to being a mechanical pencil man. By the time I had gotten to the advice on mechanical pencils presented I was already convinced to pick up the classical wooden pencils of my youth.
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This book was great. Also now I don't feel so stupid for being perplexed when younger by the single-burr hand-crank sharpener....
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“The only perfection available to you without compromise is that of intention and effort. If you endeavor to be the best pencil sharpener you can be, and tailor your actions accordingly, you can be certain all else will be forgiven in the final accounting.”
—
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