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The Man Who Came Too Much
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The Man Who Came Too Much

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2.92 of 5 stars 2.92  ·  rating details  ·  274 ratings  ·  109 reviews
Chet Flood has a unique problem. Or talent, depending on how you look at it. As Chet himself says, "When I cum, I fill jars." Follow Chet through some of his most formative and hilarious encounters as he learns to deal with the aftermath of his formidable talent. Bring your wading boots. Dust off your umbrella. You might just get soaked in this explicit, comic re-telling - ...more
ebook, 10 pages
Published February 8th 2012 by Smashwords (first published 2012)
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(showing 1-30 of 509)
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ßk☼lvr
***** SPOILERS PICS *****

I love to laugh, and this book did just that...
...had me in many-a giggle fits!


First 70% of the story: Fricken hilarious!!!



Then a teeny-tiny bump of...



Ending with just a smidge of ...



*********************************************************

Overall, though, it was pretty damn funny!
And I'd like to give a huge shout-out to his cum recievers...



...you all fricken impressed me and had me in stitches!!!! ♥

Vio
Aug 01, 2013 Vio rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommends it for: Anyone with a dirty sense of humour, loves weird, smutty fun and likes the bizzare.
Recommended to Vio by: KindleRomance Reviews
4.20 stars
Snort, choke, laugh aaand should be warning enough, read at your own peril. Way too many wicked and laugh a minute, side-splitting funnies. A madcap and problematic condition resulting in mayhem, poor Marcy and the accidental spillage.:D This bizarre memoir of mishaps was disturbingly hilarious and if you can hold steady and last the distance for the resolution, its worth it. Be warned it might cause you some pain so prepare yourselves.:)) Generally this type of story would have me ru
...more
Karla
Jul 29, 2013 Karla rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommended to Karla by: Kris(KindleRomance)

4 Disgustingly Drenching...but Hilarious Stars!!!

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Poor Marcy...to bad she didn't have one of these!
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If you don't have a sick silly sense of humor, don't bother reading this, but if you do...like me...then this is worth the few minutes it takes to read. You will be laughing for days afterwards and might need a few showers!

*Warning* Do Not Eat or Drink while reading this it's a choking hazard!!!
SueBee★bring me an alpha!★

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★★★★! The Man Who Came Too Much! Well-written, quick & sexy romp about a young man discovering he ejaculates jarfuls and how he learns to cope with that!

“My orgasms might last a minute or two, depending. Twenty or thirty shots of my semen will fill up a jar in no time. I’m like a hose.”

Yes, you read correctly, but WAIT I read the book mostly on a dare (by my GR friend who was so speechless she hasn’t even rated it yet, he he).

I for one I enjoyed it! Granted there were some gag moment
...more
Carla ☺Did I Say That☺
LMAO!! Still Speechless!!!

“My orgasms might last a minute or two, depending. Twenty or thirty shots of my semen will fill up a jar in no time. I’m like a hose.”

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Christine The Dark Romance Junkie *Mafia Princess*
That was just honest to god hilarious!!!

Read at your own peril! Lol!

The first time I jacked off I sprayed my bedroom wall until it was dripping. I accidentally nailed my dog in the face, and she never looked at me the same way after that.



I feel like I should



It was everywhere, just everywhere



And that bit at the end where the guy...



That was just...

Vilda
'Everything slowed down, like a war movie action sequence right at the climax.
"Noooooooooooooo!"
Splat. Splat. Splattery-splat.
"I'm hit!"
"Tell Sammy I loved him!"
"Sergeant Davis likes getting fucked with a rifle barrel!"
Okay, maybe he didn't yell some of that. "God, make it stop!" is what he did say, putting his hands over his face.'

LOL, omg!! This shortie was definitely something else! After hearing about it, I just couldn't stay away--I needed to give it a go and since it's a freebie, I quickl
...more
Ingela
Written May 19, 2014

2 1/2 Stars - so tasteless weird so it was wacky fun

Sometimes I read the dumbest things. This The Man Who Came Too Much novella was almost disgusting.
‘My dick was jumping and spasming like some sort of garden sprinkler people danced through their lawns.’

Poor guy, he sprayed, spurt and came (..up to twenty times per occasion!!!) and it splashed everywhere. As a kind of pedantic girl gets I of course horrified when I think of all the walls to be dried, sofas to be rescued, rug
...more
GHOULIO™
Somewhat scattershot.

*rimshot*

Sometimes it's a little amusing. Sometimes it's a little erotic.

As a result, it is neither a very good comedy nor a very good wank fic.

Not bad, though—and bonus points for including a female cocksucker.
SheReadsALot


I’ll get straight to the point: when I cum, I fill jars. I buy those quart-sized widemouthed canning jars from discount stores and reach for one when I’m jerking off. My orgasms might last a minute or two, depending. Twenty or thirty shots of my semen will fill up a jar in no time. I’m like a hose.


The title says it all. I'm late to the cumming party so let me share my fave bits from this hilarious short, huh? I felt drenched just from reading.


My dick was jumping and spasming like some sort of
...more
Meli Mel *Ty and Zane's Creeper*

♥♥♥ 3.5 DISTURBINGLY FUNNY STARS ♥♥♥



OMG!! I SERIOUSLY COULD NOT STOP LAUGHING!



THE STORY
● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

Chet wants to find his soul mate. But, he has a huge problem.
"When I cum, I fill jars."
● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●● ● ● ● ● ● ●

You know why? No, it's not because he's into collecting it! It's because he has no where else to put it. Yup, it's that much and it can get really messy.



● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ● ●

"Did you just f*ck my boot?"

"I told you!" I shou
...more
Natasha
So here I am, minding my own business, and then BAM! This book.



Spoilers. BUT, may I suggest not reading this review and going to read the book real quickly if you haven't already?

This is fucking funny. Really fucking funny. Read this shit. It's free, it's actually well written, and I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard on my own. I read it at work in my office. Needless to say, I was busted for slacking off at work.

My dick was waving side to side,
splattering his face and the throw pi
...more
 ♥  Barb ♥
***5 LAUGHING MY A$$ OFF stars***


This is the funniest book I've ever read...seriously BUY IT, READ IT, DO IT NOW.. you won't be sorry!!!!



"I'll get straight to the point: when I cum, I fill jars. I buy those quart-sized widemouthed canning jars from discount stores and reach for one when I'm jerking off. 20 or 30 shots of semen will fill up a jar in no time. I'm like a hose."

My face reading the first page.....
SNL gifs photo: snl shelly elaine Animation1.gif


Don't EAT or DRINK while reading this book....it's so freaking hilarious!!
SNL gifs photo: SNL spit take snlspit.gif


THANK YOU S
...more
Kelly H. (Maybedog)
Well, as you probably expected, this was terrible. It was so gross, I can't even tell you. I'm not generally squeamish, although I'm not big with snot or things that a similar consistency, like mucous and semen, but I don't get grossed out by semen in a normal context. I can handle sex scenes where people swallow or come all over their partners, or lick it or whatever. This, where he collects it in jars and eventually his lover drinks it, make me want to hurl. The story was bad anyway but that, ...more
Otila
Aug 11, 2014 Otila rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommended to Otila by: SheReadsALot
Chet has a problem. He cums too much.


[W]hen I cum, I fill jars. I buy those quart-sized widemouthed canning jars from discount stores and reach for one when I’m jerking off…I’m like a hose.

(view spoiler)

He cums on walls, in Pringles cans, even the dog isn’t safe.


So he’s had a bit of trouble finding partners that aren’t horrified or
...more
♥~♥Geri ~ the HEA junkie ♥~♥
This book is about finding your soul mate. Don't laugh. I'm deadly serious.

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Okay, I may have exaggerated a bit on the soul mate part but yeah, this book does have that element in there. Somewhere. Buried deep in...very deep in some of the most outrageous and improbable situations ever.

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This book made me...

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All the while laughing like a loon...

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The gross factor in this book is through the roof but it was funny as hell and actually had a very sweet ending. There is nothing subtle about this book
...more
Laura
Aug 02, 2013 Laura rated it 4 of 5 stars
Recommended to Laura by: Vio

I will never look at a Pringles can the same way again. NEVER!

Wow! THAT was….(view spoiler) I had to shout that.

Short stories hold a very special spot in my heart. They kept me reading and going when I couldn’t focus or finish a book to save my life. Quick word bursts of passion, fun, action, and more. The Man Who Came Too Much falls under the “more” category. LOL. My favorites shelf is now covered in spunk—jars and jars of spunk! :D

I have never read anyt
...more
Ann
Nov 06, 2013 Ann rated it 3 of 5 stars
Recommended to Ann by: Natasha
So, I read this story.

At first I was like . . . . WHAAAAAAT?!?!?!

And then I was like . . . . .What?!?!?!?

And then I was like . . . . .WHAT?!?!?!?

And then I was like . . . . .

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

*wipes away laughing tears*

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


*holding up full mason jar* Here's to a couple of crazy kids who were meant for each other *hands full mason jar to Rodney*


In summation: LMFAO - ewwwwwwwww!
DKristin
That was CRAZY!!!!!!!!! Crazy, and hilarious, and GROSS!!!! LOL!
Jen
3 Feeling the Need To Sanitize Stars

I don’t even know where to start. The cocktail **Cough.** Or three.**Cough** I’ve had to celebrate that fact that it’s finally Friday, thank you sweet baby Jesus, leads me to believe I should make this short and sweet. With a title like The Man Who Came Too Much I don’t think the plot’s ever even an issue.

”I told you!” I shouted. I shouted because she was shout-choking and it seemed appropriate. “I told you it was a lot! There was no other place to go! The b
...more
Abbie
May 11, 2014 Abbie rated it 4 of 5 stars  ·  review of another edition
Recommends it for: M/M and Humourers
Shelves: m-m
This. Is. Hilarious.
Chet has a serious problem, what is it you say? Well...
Chet cannot control himself when he cums, it just goes everywhere, including up his lovers nose.
made the spurts thinner, like little lasers. In a random miracle I’ve never since repeated, two mini-blasts hit James in the nose – one in each nostril

It just flows and flows and flows, and as you well know when he cums, he fills jars
“What the Christ?! Are you pissing on me? My pillow!”

Chet wants to find love, but with his prob
...more
Deanna❤Pink Lady❤️
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If you need a quick, WTF, belly laughing read........The Man Who Came Too Much has your name one it!!! I was sent this book by a wicked, evil seductress who thought I needed a good laugh and boy was she spot on. It was a super quick , 20 page book that had me going REALLY (I lmao on the Pringles can remark), GROSS (the poor dog), NO (the boot) and mostly I just laughed cause Chet had such a big problem. I was happy at the end knowing that Chet found an solution to his jar filling problem ;-)
★★Sara Lizzy★★
3 1/2 STARS

I read this book because I've seen so many others read it in the past couple weeks and they said it was hilarious. I have to say, I'm speechless as to how to describe this book really.... it had me laughing hysterically at time, others I was gagging. But it was a free book so I gave it a shot (no pun intended).

Chet has what he considers a "talent" - when he cums he fills quart-sized widemouthed canning jars from the discount store.



Twenty or thirty shots of my semen will fill up a jar
...more
Amanda
I admit: I read this book for the title alone. It's one of those that had me laughing hard enough that I couldn't pass up the opportunity. And at an estimated 18 pages, there isn't a lot of time to lose.

I'm not really sure what to say other than this book is exactly as the title promises: a man who comes too much. His tales were humorous--absurd even--but oddly entertaining, in a perverse kind of way.

And there may even be a HEA for our man who comes too much.

This book was a free Kindle download
...more
Bev


All I'm saying about this one is that I knew there was a reason I didn't like Pringles!! There were lots of laughs though. 3 stars
Kelly
Highly amusing. I picked this one up because of Amanda's review and couldn't help but laugh over the poor main character's sexual issues. When you have the potential to drown your sex buddy with your copious amounts of spew, THINGS HAPPEN.

This book was a free Kindle download I picked up 10/21/12 for the Why Buy the Cow? reading challenge.

-Kelly @ Reading the Paranormal
Laila
This may not have been the weirdest thing I've ever read, but it was 5 minutes of crazy, gross, LMAO!, WTF?!?. With a title like that, how could my inner smut resist?!

description

PS. Dear friend who brought this book to my attention, you owe me some towels! :p
JaHy♕ Bitchy  Goddess ♥'s  everything CrAzY  ☿
What the SPLAT-SPLAT-SPLATTERY-SPLAT did I just read??

This needs a "read on a empty stomach" warning label . Yes it was funny but hot damn, it was..........

Silkeeeeee
Extremely short, side-splitting, funny story. Yep, take it literally.
Anna-gel-aah
LMFAO

“My orgasms might last a minute or two, depending. Twenty or thirty shots of my semen will fill up a jar in no time. I’m like a hose.”

This...
pringles photo: pringles pringles.jpg

+

This...
mason jars photo: Blue Mason Jars ebayetsy001.jpg

+

This...
wet dog photo: wet dog wet-dog1.jpg

+

A dude named Chet

=
A lot of this...
laughing gifs photo: laughing tumblr_lzwzp5ePsB1qdir35.gif

K, That's all
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Ellie Saxx writes a wide variety of creative erotic stories for adventurous adults. They can be raw, funny, and shocking...you've been warned!

Visit Ellie's web site for free stories and a monthly newsletter.
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“The first time I ever jacked off I sprayed my bedroom wall until it was dripping. I accidentally nailed my dog in the face, and she never looked at me the same way…” 4 likes
“I thrust my hips like a wild man and ended up filling a condom like a water balloon.” 4 likes
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